I'm not sure where to post this, I figured I'd post this here because I need real, honest, blunt advice... but man, I am having an issue with my fiance's sister.
We do not speak at all, okay? I've met her of course but she's never made any effort to even speak to me.
I assume that part of it has everything to do with how they grew up (they grew up pretty damn bad and poor), but she's very social with others but not her family. She seems distant but is there for the holiday festivities.
Anyway, strike #1: My fiance told me that a couple of months ago, she assume that he was my sugar daddy because we were going out to nice places (mind you, these places are like TGIFs and Madame Tussauds.. nothing even exclusive). I think she isn't used to that because of where she grew up and folks didn't have the money to do that. I just could not believe she would go there! I mean, if you're curious, why can't you ask questions? You're going to just assume like that? Because a man is taking out his woman, she must be doing it for money? I also hope it isn't some racial thing because he's White and I'm Black.. I hope she doesn't think the only way I'd date a white man is if he had money because trust me, he is dead broke right now .. He was just making a little good money when he moved to NY on a scholarship last year and was able to get a job with the school. I am not the first Black girl he's dated, btw (not that it matters but it might to some who are trying to make sense of this)
Strike #2: My fiance and I got into an argument a few days ago, not about her BUT he mentioned that she assumed (yes, again) that our relationship wouldn't last because of his financial situation (and because of our ages, 20/23). Honestly, that pissed me off to high heavens!!!! Because now, he's starting to believe that I get mad at him easier because I don't value the relationship as much as I used to when he had money (his words).. and this is completely not true and he knows it. I'm the one who's been helping him find jobs and helping him apply. There's even one job I made him apply to and they friggin' called him the next day! Who else is doing that but me? Not her! And as far as our ages, we are a different bunch. We WANT to settle down. The whole drinking, partying, and sleeping around scene was never for me at all. I was always different.. I've always thought about having just one person to commit to. I hate that people use my age as an excuse to think they can bash me, or us. It's not fair.
It's so weird because he's always telling me that his family is never in his personal life, which is true because they don't even bother.. I remember trying to reach out to his sister before about something because she knows him way better than I do and she completely shrugged me off. But for a sister who acts like she doesn't care and is so distant (especially to him, he told me he cannot speak to her about anything), she sure does A LOT of assuming! I want to believe that it's because there was a time he did tell her that he thinks he might break up with me because we were arguing A LOT and I think she just took that and ran with it. But he is clearly happy.. he never stops talking about me, posting about me.. Yes, we had our days but I believe we're actually a very strong couple and the arguments we've had actually helped us discover our likes, dislikes, and much more. But I think it's something deeper than him telling her that. I don't know what it is.
You know what's killing me more? I fought hard to get over the sugar daddy comment, grew some balls and swallowed my pride and asked her to be my bridesmaid a couple of weeks ago. She happily accepted! That was great.. I actually wasn't expecting her to accept.. but now I am confused! I am thinking so hard about kicking her out of the wedding party but THAT'S HIS SISTER :-/ I feel like she disrespects our relationship and one times too many! I'm starting to think she's a bit envious of us because we're so young and we were able to find love and make it work.. while her first love has moved on and my fiance feels like she's still not over that. Oh, I just want to add that when he mentioned that we were engaged, she got pissed and said she doesn't know why people need to take relationships to the next level... WTF?
What do I do? I'm trying to think of the problems that can happen AFTER marriage.. like when I have kids and she may want to see them but I don't know how I feel about letting someone who thinks so negatively about me around my kids. I'm just so conflicted right now. It's so hard to be the bigger person at times like this.
[We plan on getting married on April 16th, 2016 btw]
P.S: Sorry for the mistakes if there are some, I'm rushing to type this