Suprise Party for hubby, kids or no kids?
((I am sorry for my numerous posts about this party!!))
Having a surprise party for my hubby for his 30th birthday, the location isn't 100% yet but I am pretty sure it is going to be at a bar and grill, so it is kid friendly.
My question is, do I want kids there? We have no kids of our own, so the kids would be nieces and nephews, ranging in age from 4 to 15.
It would be about 7-15 kids depending.
I'm wondering if, after the party we will want to go out elsewhere and having kids there will make that not happen because it would be too complicated.
Or if we stay at the party location for a few hours and are all drinking.....
I am pretty sure I am overthinking this, but for our wedding we picked a downtown location and one of the reasons was after the reception we could go out and walk to plenty of bars and no one would have to do any driving, well out of the 6 "party" couples 2 of them didn't get a babysitter, so instead of going out we all ended up hanging out at the hotel and ordering pizza. Boo, I wanted to wear my dress longer!!! haha
Anyway Opinions on kids being invited are appreciated!!!
Re: Suprise Party for hubby, kids or no kids?
This is why I am torn....he is both...if that is possible.
He is very much a family guy, all about his nieces and nephews, and family in general more so then any guy I know.
But he loves to "party" and spend time with his siblings and drink. He still from time to time brings up being bummed about not going out after our wedding, which was 2 years ago.....
I guess what I'm saying is the sitter situation doesn't effect my decision. If these families can leave there kids home alone for every other reason(which I don't personally agree with but they are not my kids) then they really have no leg to stand on using that excuse. When 14 year olds are left alone over night while the parents are an hour and a half away, then the 14 year old can stay home alone for 5, 6, 7 hours while the parents are 20 minutes way.
The only family that doesn't often leave there kids home alone 4 and 8 year old, the kids are NEVER with the parents on the weekends, they also stay with grandparents(other side of family) or aunt and uncle (other side of the family) even when the kids birthday fell on a Saturday, he was at his grandparents house. Again, if by some strange reason, for the first weekend, in, 5+ years, both grandparents and aunt and uncle have plans, I get it, but cmon what are the odds....
So as a compromise since this is a big birthday for your husband would it be an option for you to locate and pay for a babysitter at a central "in the city" location - not sure where you live but maybe even offer up your apartment if you are centrally located to the party location? You mentioned that is is 7 - 15 kids and the age range is 4 - 15. Not sure how many are in the 13+ age range but it might even be possible to entice the older ones to babysit for the younger ones. Or maybe hire one college student/older teen to supervise with the understanding that the 13+ yo are their helper(s) for the evening.
Just trying to find a compromise that might work for everyone.
eta: to clarify that if you decide to find/offer the babysitter you need to be the one to pay for it.
What I am saying is, with these particular 5 families, who I know fairly well, the babysitter excuse isn't valid in my eyes. I've never heard this excuse from any of them, and never seen them not at an event due to the baby sitter issue. I have plenty of friends that have baby sitter issues, and I totally understand that it is a valid reason, I just don't feel it valid with these particular families.
As far as hiring a babysitter I had though about that, I even thought of renting a couple hotel rooms and having a sitter so the kids could swim, etc however my concern (and yes I am aware I am probably over thinking this) but if the kids are all at a sitter in town, then after a night of partying and drinking, parents are going to pick up there kids and drive all the way home with the kids in the car. That is just one of my pet peeves. If you chose to drink and drive, I cant control it, but to put helpless lives in a vehicle with you, is just a major no no to me.
So the innocent drivers in the other cars on the road, they're fair game?
Um no, the other drivers are on the road are not fair game.
If you knew me, you would know I am 500000% against any amount of alcohol and driving.
I don't even have a glass of wine and drive.
We had our wedding at a hotel, just specifically for the reason of ease of no driving.
However I have learned that I can not control other peoples decisions. As much I'd like to when it comes to this subject, I can't save the world.
Our small town just lost 2 boys ages 21 and 22, who had been drinking but were being driven by a dd, and they were hit by a drunk driver who had been previously convicted of dui. Heartbreaking.
I truly don't care if the kids are there or not, it doesn't matter to be a single bit, I would like to hope my hubby will have a great time either way, I just don't want a repeat of our wedding night where 1 or 2 kids ruin everyones nights.
I am pretty sure you have taken everything I said out of context.
I guess I need to spell it all out for you....
We were so grateful for each and every person, old and young, who was a part of our wedding day. Leading up to our day numerous conversations were held about going out after our reception, being able to walk from the recepetion, to the bars, and back to the hotel, etc.
Many couples arranged baby sitting, be it Grandparents who came and picked up kids from the reception, or parents who simply arranged a ride home for the older kids who could go home and be alone for a few hours.
After the reception was over, 2 couples who had rooms and were staying the night, didn't have sitters. Those of us who planned to go out and had sitters or no kids, ended up hanging out at the hotel with the adults who had no sitter.
It was a disappointment to both my husband and I, since going out post reception was in the plan for 2 years, however as adults, we chose to make the decision to not leave certain couples, groups, out and stay at the hotel and be with everyone.
Aunt Ratchet loves her nieces and nephews and enjoys all the time she spends with them however, Aunt Ratchet enjoys adult time too.
Aunt Ratchet also originally thought of having this party at a local bowling alley/martini bar and was so excited to include everyone of all ages but that location isn't available for my needs.
Sincerely,
Aunt Ratchet
pinkcow13 - thank you so much for your experience comments! I agree with you I probably am over thinking it, however I over think everything so why should this be any different.
I am going to double check with the party site to make sure they are always all ages. If they have a rule like "no kids after 9pm" then I will just go no kids otherwise it can be the parents decision.....I also just had the thought that one of the kids (well 3 in particular) would ruin the surprise before the party..........