Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Creating a wedding registry after already living together?

13»

Re: Creating a wedding registry after already living together?

  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    dallasbetch said:
    misshart00 said:
    Knottie30291358 said:
    I'd say the stage on life you're at in no way ameliorates or exacerbates the level of effrontery inherant in presenting your guests with a list of demands.

    I suddenly feel very stupid.
    To me, the stupid thing is snarking on registries altogether, on the Etiquette board, which are etiquette-approved.


    SORRY Y'ALL I'm obviously wearing my judgy pants tonights

    eta gif isn't working :(
    I was stuck on the "stage on life" part.

    If you're getting married and you and your FI want things it is perfectly acceptable to gather together a list of things from one or a few stores and register.  Then, if someone throws you a shower, the registry information can be included to alert shower-goers to what kitchen items you would like and what color and fluffiness of towel you prefer.  If someone asks this couple soon to be wed what they would like to get as a wedding gift, this list is already there to mention.  "We're registered at BBB and Target, thank you so much for thinking of us!"

    Where registries become rude is when they are asking for cash (usually in the form of gift cards or "honeymoon funds"), when they are handed out to guests with the wedding invitation, or in any way advertised in a tacky way that says "buy me things because I like things and expect presents."  That's cute when a four year old says it, not a grown pair of adults getting married.
    Report Reply
  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    LondonLisa said:
    Knottie30291358 said:
    I'd say the stage on life you're at in no way ameliorates or exacerbates the level of effrontery inherant in presenting your guests with a list of demands.

    Ameliorate means to make a bad thing better. "The grounding John received after failing the exam helped him focus and ameliorated his procrastination".  You see registries as effrontery (or bad behaviour). Therefore, by your argument you should WANT to ameliorate everyone's behaviour by not doing a gift list registry.

    I love good words, but it is obnoxious when one uses them incorrectly to feign superiority. Such a pretentious behavior only solicits social castigation...

    What's funny is that I knew what all the words meant. I just couldn't comprehend them all together like that. LondonLisa's reply made totally sense.
    Report Reply
  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    adk19 said:
    FutureMrsToal said:
    Its absolutely acceptable for you to create a registry! Guests are going to wonder what to get for your shower etc. and registries are helpful. Not to mention these days people register for everything from honeymoon activities to sporting goods! If you feel like you already have everything you need for your household maybe try a less traditional registry.
    Except that honeymoon registries are super rude.  

    Go ahead and register for camping gear if that's something you enjoy doing together.  But if she likes camping and he's a homebody, I'm totally going to side-eye camping stuff.  If you both like board games, go ahead and register for some of those.

    It took me a good 3 months to fully convince FI this.  He thought it was totally legit, and didn't understand why I put my foot down on it.  My 50th explanation about how it was just asking for money and the sites take like 3% anyway finally got through to it.  Thank god.

    <a href="Wedding Countdown Ticker'>http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Free Wedding Vows">

    Report Reply
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Knottie27273946 said:
    I think only give out the registry if guests ask is a good idea (seems more social acceptable - etiquette??), but I also think it might be more of a hassle to give out the info to each individual as they ask if I end up having a big guest list. Also what if I have a lot of store I'm registering at??? 
    Too much hassle?

    "Hey Knottie#'s, where are you registered at?", "Oh Macys and Create and Barrle" "Awesome sauce".

    These people know your name...it's pretty easy to search out a registry....even easier if you know where the couple is registered.
    Report Reply
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    We lived together 9 years before we got married. We ended up with 3 registeries. At first I was like "There is nothing for us to register for!" but then there was. Lots of it. 

    We register for some games and entertainment stuff. I figured, people register for camping equipment because they camp together. Awesome, but we don't camp. We do watch movies and play board games together. We didn't register for much of that stuff though.

    Towels, we registered for more towels. I love towels. Oh and we registered for a nice tool set, and a new power drill, and then someone (me, it was me) made a lame joke about lesbians and power tools. But tools, look, at some point you're gonna need some tools. If you don't have a good set already (one screwdriver and a hammer is not a good set) register for a good set.
    Report Reply
  • amelishaamelisha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I just had a little argument with my FMIL about this same thing. I've lived on my own for ten years (with my mother buying me home goods for every occasion during this time) and we need nothing and have room for nothing, but ultimately, I put twenty random things on a Bed Bath and Beyond list and now she's happy because she can now tell "people" (I'm not sure who...no one we invited, because we're only having 20 guests and she only knows my parents and his dad and stepmom) where we are registered if they ask.

    Some things are not worth arguing over, and I'm hoping that my list of random $15 kitchen implements and a set of sheets will politely prove to her that we honestly don't need gifts.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Knottie30291358 said:
    I'd say the stage on life you're at in no way ameliorates or exacerbates the level of effrontery inherant in presenting your guests with a list of demands.
    This seriously reminds me of when I was in high school and I was required to use as many words as possible in a sentence for vocab.  


    image
    Report Reply
  • alpacalunchalpacalunch member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    LondonLisa said:
    Knottie30291358 said:
    I'd say the stage on life you're at in no way ameliorates or exacerbates the level of effrontery inherant in presenting your guests with a list of demands.

    Ameliorate means to make a bad thing better. "The grounding John received after failing the exam helped him focus and ameliorated his procrastination".  You see registries as effrontery (or bad behaviour). Therefore, by your argument you should WANT to ameliorate everyone's behaviour by not doing a gift list registry.

    I love good words, but it is obnoxious when one uses them incorrectly to feign superiority. Such a pretentious behavior only solicits social castigation...
    If you ever come to my area of Canada, I would love to buy you a drink. This made me very happy. Jovial, or bouyant if you will.
    image
    Report Reply
  • alpacalunchalpacalunch member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    FI and I started our registry this past weekend. We've lived together for a year, and I've lived on my own for nearly a decade. Many of our belonging are nice, and of good quality. Many are from Goodwill, or 30yr old hand-me-downs. We also lack many items that would be helpful to have. 

    It took all my strength not to roll my eyes when the lady at the registry desk was explaining how helpful registry cards are, and to put them inside invites for the shower, wedding, Jack and Jill, engagement party, and where ever else we can! 
    image
    Report Reply
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    chrisandcait said:
    LondonLisa said:
    Knottie30291358 said:
    I'd say the stage on life you're at in no way ameliorates or exacerbates the level of effrontery inherant in presenting your guests with a list of demands.

    Ameliorate means to make a bad thing better. "The grounding John received after failing the exam helped him focus and ameliorated his procrastination".  You see registries as effrontery (or bad behaviour). Therefore, by your argument you should WANT to ameliorate everyone's behaviour by not doing a gift list registry.

    I love good words, but it is obnoxious when one uses them incorrectly to feign superiority. Such a pretentious behavior only solicits social castigation...
    If you ever come to my area of Canada, I would love to buy you a drink. This made me very happy. Jovial, or bouyant if you will.

    Why thank you! Throw in some poutine and I'll be on the next flight :)
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    MagicInk said:
    We lived together 9 years before we got married. We ended up with 3 registeries. At first I was like "There is nothing for us to register for!" but then there was. Lots of it. 

    We register for some games and entertainment stuff. I figured, people register for camping equipment because they camp together. Awesome, but we don't camp. We do watch movies and play board games together. We didn't register for much of that stuff though.

    Towels, we registered for more towels. I love towels. Oh and we registered for a nice tool set, and a new power drill, and then someone (me, it was me) made a lame joke about lesbians and power tools. But tools, look, at some point you're gonna need some tools. If you don't have a good set already (one screwdriver and a hammer is not a good set) register for a good set.
    I started reading and was going to say something about how lesbians love power tools.  But then, I was the one who used the cordless drill to put up a candle sconce at the home of some new friends (who happen to be lesbians) after arriving early to their party last winter.  One of the girls looked at me with the drill and level and just said to her girlfriend, "this right here makes me so happy."  Heh.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards