Snarky Brides

Not wedding related but I am about to have a little bitch fit

glitch104glitch104 member
10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
edited November 2014 in Snarky Brides
Ok so long story short: I had a falling out with a friend/cousins wife recently. We haven't spoke in a couple months. Its done. When we were close we would discuss typical girly things like "future baby names" once/if/when I have them (she has three boys already). I have had my heart set on naming my daughter should I have one after my grandmother(who isn't apart of my cousins family because I was adopted). My biological grandma and papa were a huge part of my life and so special to me. I just got a text from a mutual family member that the cousins wife who is expecting a girl is naming her daughter what else? but My grandmothers name. 

Before I go any further I understand not a single person has a one of a kind name. Fine, but I have a sneaking suspicion this bitch is doing this to spite me. Not once when we spoke of baby names girls or boys over the last 4 years of the friendship we had did she mention that name as an idea. When I brought up the importance of my choice she loved that I wanted to honor my grandma that way. To take it a step further not only is she using my grandma's name but also the middle name I liked with it.

Also, of course I would have to come to an agreement with the father of my children about names. But that was just my first choice and favorite.

Ok bitch fit over. Maybe I am being to sensitive but I am a bit pissed. Thoughts?



Edit-meant to type three not two. 









image
«1

Re: Not wedding related but I am about to have a little bitch fit

  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    My aunt J jacked her daughter AND son's first and middle names from what my aunt Z aaaaalways talked about naming her future kids. Aunt Z is forever bitter, but came up with new names later and named her kids the new names.

    Aunt J then named her dog the same name as aunt Z's dog. It became very obvious that aunt J is not very creative and does not care who it grates on.

    I'd let it go. There are lots of other names. Plus, you're not about to have a kid (or are you? sorry, it's been a long day) and you haven't ran it by your future childrens' father.

    Maybe she'll change her mind. Who knows?
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
  • glitch104glitch104 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    beethery said:
    My aunt J jacked her daughter AND son's first and middle names from what my aunt Z aaaaalways talked about naming her future kids. Aunt Z is forever bitter, but came up with new names later and named her kids the new names.

    Aunt J then named her dog the same name as aunt Z's dog. It became very obvious that aunt J is not very creative and does not care who it grates on.

    I'd let it go. There are lots of other names. Plus, you're not about to have a kid (or are you? sorry, it's been a long day) and you haven't ran it by your future childrens' father.

    Maybe she'll change her mind. Who knows?
    Nope I am not expecting. My FI actually loved the name of my grandmother and he picked the middle name to go with it. I know I know we aren't even expecting so I shouldn't be in a tizzy. But c'mon I think alot of couple daydream about possible future baby names.

    I texted my FI about my new information and his response was "Figures she would do that. Typical behavior from her." He has seen first hand the bitter downfall of the friendship and knows how she is with the constant "one-uping", rub it in my face with X,Y,Z and competitiveness she has had with me. Mind you her life is quite more affluent than mine and I am still looking for a steady job after looking for months instead of a part-time one. So where the competitiveness comes from on her end I havent the slightest.







    image
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Well, you're not really talking to her anyway. Are you going to let the friendship fade, are you close with your cousin?

    If you're going to let it fall off, go on and name your kid what you want when the time comes. If she gets pissy about it, you'll both know that it was your idea first. Devil take the hindmost.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
  • beethery said:
    Well, you're not really talking to her anyway. Are you going to let the friendship fade, are you close with your cousin?

    If you're going to let it fall off, go on and name your kid what you want when the time comes. If she gets pissy about it, you'll both know that it was your idea first. Devil take the hindmost.
    Its beyond repair. Tried that 3x in the past year. I love my cousin dearly, he and I are 1 year apart and went to school together. But he sides with her on everything no matter right or wrong. Her and I actually talked everyday and I cant remember the last time her and I spoke when things were good. Alot of the non-speaking was just due to him being in the military and always overseas or training. If he had something to say or vice versa it was relayed through his wife. 

    I will still name my child whatever I want despite her doing so IF she follows through with it. Now that I am not as heated in the moment I see how silly I am for getting pissed. I played into what she had done(the person who told me her name choice is the only mutual family member between us that has contact with me.) And I am not kidding when I say she is just the type to pull some bs like this to get a rile out of me and play games.


    Ok rant over. I really feel stupid now for posting about this. 

    Hanging head in slight embaressment.







    image
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    glitch104 said:
    beethery said:
    Well, you're not really talking to her anyway. Are you going to let the friendship fade, are you close with your cousin?

    If you're going to let it fall off, go on and name your kid what you want when the time comes. If she gets pissy about it, you'll both know that it was your idea first. Devil take the hindmost.
    Its beyond repair. Tried that 3x in the past year. I love my cousin dearly, he and I are 1 year apart and went to school together. But he sides with her on everything no matter right or wrong. Her and I actually talked everyday and I cant remember the last time her and I spoke when things were good. Alot of the non-speaking was just due to him being in the military and always overseas or training. If he had something to say or vice versa it was relayed through his wife. 

    I will still name my child whatever I want despite her doing so IF she follows through with it. Now that I am not as heated in the moment I see how silly I am for getting pissed. I played into what she had done(the person who told me her name choice is the only mutual family member between us that has contact with me.) And I am not kidding when I say she is just the type to pull some bs like this to get a rile out of me and play games.


    Ok rant over. I really feel stupid now for posting about this. 

    Hanging head in slight embaressment.
    Naaaw girl, ain't no thing. This is why we have those boards. We rant, we get our shit set straight, and we carry on educated and ready to rumble with the next batch of bullshit that comes our way.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    glitch104Kauris
  • beethery btw I love your GIF. I dont really watch the Atlanta housewives but the few times I have Nee-Nee was hilarious. I watch NJ, OC, BH wives.







    image
    beethery
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    glitch104 said:
    beethery btw I love your GIF. I dont really watch the Atlanta housewives but the few times I have Nee-Nee was hilarious. I watch NJ, OC, BH wives.
    NeNe is my spirit guide.

    image
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    mrsdee15Bubblegum5586Fran1985
  • If it makes you feel better BF and I had talked for years about naming FDD after his Mom & Great- Grandma.  His ex-W (who kept her last name) had a daughter a few years ago with her then-bf and named her (you guessed it!) the exact name we had picked.  She gave baby her (and BF's) last name.  Soooo even if we got married and had a DD of our own if we named what we'd planned then FSD & FSS would have 2 sisters with the same first and last name.

    If/when you guys have a daughter name her whatever you want - including the first and middle name your cousin and his wife are using.  Anybody who is close enough to know why you want to name your daughter that will probably know about cousin's wife and the way she is.
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
    image
  • Post a picture of a super ugly dog on Facebook tomorrow and say you adopted her and named her the name in question. That'll change her mind. I've had too much wine. Did you know they make pumpkin spice Milanos? I might have dunked them.

    Ok I wish I had seen this before I went to the store for my pizza and wine. I would have picked some up.







    image
  • If it makes you feel better BF and I had talked for years about naming FDD after his Mom & Great- Grandma.  His ex-W (who kept her last name) had a daughter a few years ago with her then-bf and named her (you guessed it!) the exact name we had picked.  She gave baby her (and BF's) last name.  Soooo even if we got married and had a DD of our own if we named what we'd planned then FSD & FSS would have 2 sisters with the same first and last name.

    If/when you guys have a daughter name her whatever you want - including the first and middle name your cousin and his wife are using.  Anybody who is close enough to know why you want to name your daughter that will probably know about cousin's wife and the way she is.
    Your situation takes the cake.







    image
  • You can always still use it.  Your kids will be second cousins.  I have two second cousins (who are also second cousins with each other) who have the same name.

    Or you can do a slight variation of the name.  I have a first cousin whose name is very similar to mine. Think Marie, Maria.

    H and I have discussed names for our future children, but we haven't told anyone else. Your reason right here is one of the reasons.  My sisters and I get along really well, but there's always a chance that we'll chat about 15 or 20 names, they end up liking one of mine, have a kid first and use it and not realize it was ever at the top of my list. In the future, I would stop telling about what names you like so yours doesn't get stolen.

    glitch104
  • no comment.
























































































    I personally KNOW my biological family. Long story short: My biological mother abandoned me and left me with me Grandpa(papa) and Grandma when I was 8. But even up until then THEY pretty much raised me. 
    You can always still use it.  Your kids will be second cousins.  I have two second cousins (who are also second cousins with each other) who have the same name.

    Or you can do a slight variation of the name.  I have a first cousin whose name is very similar to mine. Think Marie, Maria.

    H and I have discussed names for our future children, but we haven't told anyone else. Your reason right here is one of the reasons.  My sisters and I get along really well, but there's always a chance that we'll chat about 15 or 20 names, they end up liking one of mine, have a kid first and use it and not realize it was ever at the top of my list. In the future, I would stop telling about what names you like so yours doesn't get stolen.








    image
  • You can always still use it.  Your kids will be second cousins.  I have two second cousins (who are also second cousins with each other) who have the same name.

    Or you can do a slight variation of the name.  I have a first cousin whose name is very similar to mine. Think Marie, Maria.

    H and I have discussed names for our future children, but we haven't told anyone else. Your reason right here is one of the reasons.  My sisters and I get along really well, but there's always a chance that we'll chat about 15 or 20 names, they end up liking one of mine, have a kid first and use it and not realize it was ever at the top of my list. In the future, I would stop telling about what names you like so yours doesn't get stolen.
    my issue is this: it is my biological grandmas name.... has nothing to do with my adoptive family, "first/second/filth" ect cousins name... It is special to me because its MY GRANDMAS NAME!







    image
  • or I could use Milo and Otis







    image
  • I really don't understand what's going on with your comments right now.

    image
    image
    lurkergirllevioosaashley8918
  • I really don't understand what's going on with your comments right now.

    Mehhhh you don't have to. I had a bit too much wine last night and tried to explain my situation
    Huge FAIL on my part







    image
    theartistformerlyknownas
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    It was a bitch move, to be sure, but I would just use the name myself, too, even if she does use it. Don't let her know she got to you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    theartistformerlyknownas
  • My aunt did this with my mom. Aunt already had 2 boys when my parents announced they were trying for their first...all of a sudden Aunt decided they were trying for a third too, in an overshadowing "we're important too!" way. Mom had her heart set on a girl and had quietly told my grandma they'd picked the name Heather. Cue Thanksgiving dinner when Aunt announced they wanted a girl and planned to name her Heather. Mom was heartbroken. They both ended up having boys. Five years later they had me, but my mom decided the name Heather was "tainted" and picked something else instead. My Aunt is still a bitch. And my grandmother always sided with her daughter (my aunt) rather than her daughter-in-law (my mom). I feel bad for my mom. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Can I be honest? Maybe you shouldn't have shared the names with her? I mean I know that you guys used to talk but it seems names are really important (to a lot of people) and if you don't want to feel like anyone is "stealing" the names you chose, keep them to yourself. Then if someone names their kid the same as yours it's happy coincidence. 

    I know it's too late because she now knows the names but anyone, just don't say anything - keep it like a surprise for you and your SO. My best friend is having a baby in March and she isn't sharing any of the names her husband and her picked out for the baby. I think that's kind of nice because it's a surprise for everyone and she doesn't have to worry about anyone stealing the name.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    charlottesmom0626glitch104
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Two of my first cousins (also cousins to each other) are 3 months apart and their names are not the same, but very similar. Like Melanie and Melody similar. 

    Melody is my aunts first and only child, and Melody was born first. When Melanie was born, she was the youngest of her family, and it was snarked a little bit about why Uncle and his wife named their child such a similar name to her cousin who is the same age.

    However, neither aunt or uncle talked about the potential names of their children to each other, so it really was a coincidence. And my aunt (Melody's mom),  said everyone has the right to name their child what they want; which is true. So it is what it is.

    If you really like the name, then just name your child that too. You will probably rarely see these people anyway. There were like 25 Michael's at my wedding. I have two brother's in law named Mike (my husband's brother, and my sister's husband), the best man was a Mike, my uncle, cousin and cousin's husband are named Mike (all 3 at one table). It doesn't matter. 

    My great grandmother and her mother in law had the same first name, so they ended up having the exact same name. Things like that happen all the time. Unless the name is "Apple" or "Moon Unit" I think you're fine.
    image
    image

    image


    glitch104
  • She may just be saying that she is going to use it hoping it will get back to you and grind your gears.  Say nothing, it will just give her what she wants.  I wouldn't be surprised if when her baby comes the name isn't what she's advertising now.
    glitch104
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Reminds me of that Sex and the City episode when the girls' old friend (the drunk crazy party girl back in the day) gets married and moves in the suburbs -- something Charlotte always wanted. And then she has a baby girl and names her the same name Charlotte always loved for a girl, a name she used to share with her friend when they were younger. 

    I totally don't blame you on your snark, OP, that would bother me as well. Try to let it go and definitely don't share info like that with this person.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    bride2b71614
  • I'm more bothered that a woman may or may not give her child her lifelong name to spite someone she hasn't spoken to in four years over two girls who won't be hanging out together having the same name. That poor little girl.
    No her and I stopped talking a couple months ago. BUT YES! She is the type to do something to SPITE someone.... I also know that she used this to get a reaction from me. It is so sad and pathetic.







    image
  • Hey all.... sorry I havent responded in a while. I visited a cousin in Germany for a bit right after I posted.... I know I made my responses(of how important that name is to me) under the influence. A couple friends and I went out then came back to my place and had more wine. I logged into my knottie account, tried to respond.... but however, it was not my finest moment. 

    I am sorry its taken me so long to respond. I went to visit my cousin in Germany where she is stationed with her husband who is Army. 

    I regret I kinda made an ass of myself posting while intoxicated. I think some of you can relate.... You get some alcohole in you and just start talking to friends to vent. Then you make a poor choice to exclaim that feeling and frustration on a public forum. 

    I am sorry for posting about my personal problems in an attempt to redeem why I hold that name of my Grandma so close..... It came out terribly.







    image
  • I have been here for years and have seen "KUI" (knotting under the influence) a time or two.

    As far as the name, use it.  So what if she uses it too.  When people ask you why you chose the exact same name you can tell them it was your grandmother's name and you told SIL many years ago that you always wanted to use it for a future child and she decided she liked it as well.  Boom - passive aggressive karma.

    I had a step-nephew (he was considered as "real" family as anyone else while his parents were married but his mom decided to file for divorce and we never got to see them again).  His name was Jamie.  A few years later I had a DD and named her Jaime.  Grandma pissed and moaned about having 2 grandkids with the same name.  WHO CARES!!!!!  I liked it, I used it and we hardly ever saw each other anyway after I moved out of state (before she was born).  FTR - I don't think Jamie's mom gave a flying frog's fanny that I named my DD Jaime.  Believe me, she would have said something if it ticked her off!

  • peachy13 said:
    Reminds me of that Sex and the City episode when the girls' old friend (the drunk crazy party girl back in the day) gets married and moves in the suburbs -- something Charlotte always wanted. And then she has a baby girl and names her the same name Charlotte always loved for a girl, a name she used to share with her friend when they were younger. 

    I totally don't blame you on your snark, OP, that would bother me as well. Try to let it go and definitely don't share info like that with this person.
    Yes! I was thinking that. The name was Shayla!!! Anyway, yes, I am the type of person that would be super pissed about your situation. If you were close and were friends, I think this is something you do not do. You shared these names because you share secret things with people close to you. I have a list of names on my phone that I've saved for whenever the time comes. I've shared a few of these names with a close friend of mine, one of my bridesmaids actually. She plans to have a baby in the near future and the only names she shared with me that I remember were Gavin and Evan for boys and Karissa for a girl. Although she may be pregnant before me, I would NEVER choose those names for my child because I know she likes them. I just wouldn't do that. Like your situation, names have special meanings to people and yes you usually plan names for a while that you like. This isn't just naming a pet, or a car, or some other object, its naming of a tiny human, your tiny human that you created, and people are going to call them by the name you choosefor them for the rest of their life. So, yes, I get why you would be upset and I think you have every right to be.Maybe you could try to talk to your cousin. If not, you could take the low-road and announce to the world your entire situation so that it makes her look like an ass. Either way, I hope things work out for you, and hope your children are better looking! ;)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards