Salary talk

SBmini · November 2014

I wish more people were open about salary. If they were, then you would know what to expect and it would be clear if you did or didn't get paid enough. I don't go around blabbing about what I make because it isn't socially acceptable- but I wish it were.

But this is a really great article about a company where everyone knows what everyone else makes and the downsides that came with it. But one guy got a $20,000 raise as a result, so I doubt he's complaining: http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2014/07/02/327758712/the-company-where-everyone-knows-everyone-elses-salary

larrygaga · November 2014

Most of the time people who try and talk about how much they make aren't really impressing anyone. Especially when men try to do it to flirt. I will always bring up that FI is an engineer. You are rude, I am rude back.

I'll talk about it with my parents and I did once with my friend. I kind of look to those three for financial advice, though. My parents obviously aren't uncomfortable with it and I don't think my friend was. My salary is kind of laughable.

fwtx5815 · November 2014

I was just promoted at my job last week with a significant salary increase and I have yet to tell anybody other than my fiancé because I don't know how to share the exciting news without coming across as bragging

I've been out of college for less than 12 months so it wouldn't be all that strange to tell my parents but I'm still REALLY hesitant.

This thread sorta reminds me of something that happened in college: I studied finance and my financial statement analysis course had this really boisterous professor who loved to randomly call on people in class for his different examples of concepts. There was one day where he called on me in class and asked how much money was in my bank account in front of 60ish people and I was mortified. All I could get out was "sorry, I don't talk about money." Ugh

mrscaty · November 2014

l9i said:

princessofgenovia said:

Me and my friends, my close friends, we all know what each other makes. Most of us are just out of college, getting our first real jobs. So it seems to come up as "I got hired at the Xylophone factory and they're paying $38K a year! Plus I get vacation time!", just an excitement about being an OMG real adult with a salary and a job that does not require a uniform or paper hat.

But I've also had people ask me my salary point blank. Yeah...no. My best friend, my parents, and my FI know what I make. But nosy person I'm FB friends with, you do not get to know. I did have one person ask me because she was being offered a similar job and thought they were low-balling her, so she asked me. But privately and told me if I didn't want to tell her that was fine, but she was getting offered $XX amount and wanted to know if that was near what I was getting. It wasn't. She was being crazy low-balled. And I told her what I started at so she's have a guideline.

This, My parents know what I was hired in at and H knows. I have a friend who is looking for jobs in the industry and asked, he also prefaced with "If you don't want to tell me that's fine" and it was private and in context of our conversation. I wasn't offended and told him and since he interned at the same location he had a general idea of what you might make fulltime.
As for transparency I know my company has salaries for different areas and that's what you get starting off, no negotiating unless you're coming in with some legit experience under your belt. So I know that starting off I got the exact same off as a few friends who also got hired in the same company and department. The differences come when you get bonuses and raises based on performance.
I wouldn't go around announcing that information, it just don't feel comfortable because it makes me feel as if I'm bragging. If someone else does I may or may not side eye it depending on the situation.

1st bold: This was me when I got my first real job. I mean, I wasn't telling strangers what I was making, but I did tell my parents and DH.

2nd bolded: This is how it is at the company where I am currently. My friend was hired a few months before me and he told me how much they offered him when he got the job. It was nice because when they offered me the same thing, I felt like they were being fair and I knew they were a good company. It would have sucked if I knew what they gave him and then they had offered me less.

I think transparency is a good thing, because it opens up a conversation about why people make what they do. If your co-worker has been there the same amount of time as you and they are making more, that's a good opportunity to talk about why. Could you be doing something better? Is the company being unfair? I think a conversation like that (assuming everyone stays level-headed) could actually be a really good thing for your career development.

QueerFemme · November 2014

I don't need to know every dollar that people make, and I don't need to hear how much they can buy regularly, but I often discuss money issues with my friends. I have helped them negotiate salaries, and have been able to help them get raises. I also agree that if salaries were more transparent, there would be less of companies screwing people over to save a dollar.

I just got my assistant a HUGE raise when she got a competing offer from another firm. And when I get a huge raise or bonus, and I'm excited, I have shared it my friends that are close to me. I don't post on facebook "OMG. I just got TEN GRAND" or something, but I have been know to text my friends and be like "I got my bonus !!! VEGAS !!!!!"

I think that generally, money is kept "politely secret" because it's easier to keep people down when they don't know what other people are making.

levieenrose · November 2014

QueerFemme said:

I don't need to know every dollar that people make, and I don't need to hear how much they can buy regularly, but I often discuss money issues with my friends. I have helped them negotiate salaries, and have been able to help them get raises. I also agree that if salaries were more transparent, there would be less of companies screwing people over to save a dollar.

I agree with this. I talk money-management and money-strategies with close friends and family, but never discuss an exact dollar amount. Knowing exactly what other people, especially close friends, are making, in my opinion, can strain a relationship regardless of whether it's much more or much less than you make. Someone feels resentful, guilty, or pressured etc.

But as for people I don't know well, please, share away. There's my vote for transparency, too.

Slightly off topic--but I think worth sharing--is an interesting article about family trusts: <clicky>
DH and I used this concept for the gift we made to our families in honor of our marriage. We started a family trust (there's hardly any money in it right now, but it should eventually grow) for 0% interest loans to be used for educational or career ventures by our blood relations. We hope it's a legacy that will long outlast us and that it will help our loved ones obtain self-development without putting pressure or strain on individual family members to support them.

WinstonsGirl · November 2014

Eh, it doesn't bother me too much, unless you're just AWing to everyone and being obnoxious about it. If someone asks me if we can talk about it quietly, I'm not so bothered. My salary is actually public knowledge. You could go Google my school district (or any in my province) and you'll get the entirety of my last 5 years of contract. Exact pay grid for all teachers, days off, mat leave, etc. Maybe that's why it doesn't bother me so much, cos anyone who cares to look knows what I make anyway.

DH is the total opposite. I'm the only one he talks to about money. He's not even comfortable discussing it with his parents.

jdluvr06 · November 2014

I talk money with my friends and some of my family all the time. We're all pretty open about it. It's not like we sit there and talk how much money we make down to the last cent but we tell eachother about raises, money issues, especially low or high electric bills, ect. We're a lot more open now than we used to be about it. It's like we reached a point where we were talking about our sex lives, health problems, super personal issues and it was kind of like we literally know everything else about eachother so why would we be uncomfortable talking about money.

QueerFemme · November 2014

jdluvr06 said:

I talk money with my friends and some of my family all the time. We're all pretty open about it. It's not like we sit there and talk how much money we make down to the last cent but we tell eachother about raises, money issues, especially low or high electric bills, ect. We're a lot more open now than we used to be about it. It's like we reached a point where we were talking about our sex lives, health problems, super personal issues and it was kind of like we literally know everything else about eachother so why would we be uncomfortable talking about money.

I'm pretty much the same way. I think money is only an issue if people get weird about it. My friends know that I make a lot more than them, and they tease me and then I remind them I worked 16 hours a day for the past month, including weekends, and they are like, oh.. yeah. I'll keep my nonprofit salary.

We just don't get weird about it and it's no big deal.

l9i · November 2014

levieenrose said:

QueerFemme said:

I don't need to know every dollar that people make, and I don't need to hear how much they can buy regularly, but I often discuss money issues with my friends. I have helped them negotiate salaries, and have been able to help them get raises. I also agree that if salaries were more transparent, there would be less of companies screwing people over to save a dollar.

I agree with this. I talk money-management and money-strategies with close friends and family, but never discuss an exact dollar amount. Knowing exactly what other people, especially close friends, are making, in my opinion, can strain a relationship regardless of whether it's much more or much less than you make. Someone feels resentful, guilty, or pressured etc.

But as for people I don't know well, please, share away. There's my vote for transparency, too.

I have few friends I talk about money management with simply because being recently out of college many of my friends are fiscally irresponsible, I mostly ask my dad. If we did talk about it I'm not sure it would go well when I ask them why mommy is still paying your bills when you have a job (yes, I realize there could be more to the story). Other friends it's ok and we bounce ideas around like what we should be putting into retirement now or a recent friend who wanted advice for buying a house (we previously did). Others I strictly avoid the topic since I have many teacher friends and venture to guess I currently make more starting off that their max will be. In this situation there's already been times that "l9i can pick up for all of us she works at xyz". So yeah, they don't need to know.

FiancB · November 2014

I agree with a lot of people here. I am pretty open with people that I know well. I feel like when you take a new job it's part of the conversation: "I got a new job!" "Oh? How's the compensation?" "X" "Right on!"

But I don't get jealous of people for making more money than me. They aren't in comparable fields and I'm kinda just doing my thing while getting through school. When I transferred within my company I was excited that the area I'm in now pays a little more so I told a few people about that.

However I don't tell people about the money I get from an inheritance. That seems a little weirder. Family knows about it, a few other people know I get some money but don't know how much and probably forgot about it.

I agree salary's just a number. Benefits and other factors make a big difference. H is a teacher and makes way less than some of his friends, but hey he has summers off, and I'm studying to be a nurse and would love to be a school nurse eventually for pretty much that reason, even though they don't make nearly as much as some other nurses. Money habits make a big difference- we live pretty well on a smaller salary, meanwhile I've known people making 6 figures that were well on their way to bankruptcy.

abl13 · November 2014

I wish it was something that was more readily talked about but in a way that helps people get ahead and not to foster resentment or jealousy. I am a terrible negotiator so if I knew what my colleagues were making this would help me start that conversation for myself instead of just taking what they give me. I also work for an extremely old fashioned company and suspect that my male colleagues with my same qualifications make more but there is really no way of knowing.

ChemFanatic25 · November 2014

QueerFemme said:

I don't need to know every dollar that people make, and I don't need to hear how much they can buy regularly, but I often discuss money issues with my friends. I have helped them negotiate salaries, and have been able to help them get raises. I also agree that if salaries were more transparent, there would be less of companies screwing people over to save a dollar.

I just got my assistant a HUGE raise when she got a competing offer from another firm. And when I get a huge raise or bonus, and I'm excited, I have shared it my friends that are close to me. I don't post on facebook "OMG. I just got TEN GRAND" or something, but I have been know to text my friends and be like "I got my bonus !!! VEGAS !!!!!"

I think that generally, money is kept "politely secret" because it's easier to keep people down when they don't know what other people are making.

^^^ This is what I do well what my friend does and how I respond. One of my best friends is a huge help when it comes to me looking for a job. The current job I am looking at they asked how much I made and then they told me how much the other company was offering. I relayed this info to my best friend and what the responsibilities entailed. She then explained how I could negotiate for better or more reasonable pay if they decide to low ball me. So she will most likely know in the end what I will be making if I get this job but I did not tell her to brag. It was to look for advice and I better understand things when numbers are placed on them.

Salary talk

Re: Salary talk

Choose Another Board

Search Boards