Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Chit Chat
Spinoff: the debt talk
I guess this could be a spinoff from the salary thread - but reading many of your comments really got me thinking.
Many people, as we saw/read, can be somewhat guarded about revealing their income for a variety of reasons but I feel that it is almost the opposite when it comes to debt. For instance, as a graduate of a private university in 2009 - one of the recurrent themes of discussion among fellow graduates were student loans. People spoke freely and openly about how much they had to owe (even when at that point, and during that time period, prospects for a decent paying job were practically zilch).
Among people I know (both colleagues, acquaintances, and friends), I also feel like "debt" is a topic that is OK to discuss - even though how much you make isn't --- maybe as a sense of camaraderie in the "we're all in this together" thought.
So my question for debate is: Why does it seem that people are more comfortable to openly talk about what they owe, rather than what they make? Or do you think that I totally off base with this observation?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Spinoff: the debt talk
I think that it's because there is less chance of jealousy stemming from a conversation about debt. While I keep my salary to myself, if someone asks about debt, I will usually tell them, though I don't reveal anything unless asked.
It could also be that some people don't mind sharing it because it justifies why they don't live as well as they might without it. It's not right to try to "keep up with the Joneses" but some people live and breathe by that mentality.
Personally, I guess I don't mind telling people about my debt because I don't have very much of it . Just a car payment and a mortgage. For some reason, I'm way more proud of that then my salary!
FI is a lobbyist in higher ed, and SO MANY PEOPLE will come up to him at parties and start talking about debt. He gets so uncomfortable because even though they bring it up, he doesn't want to talk to people about money or debt in a social setting
<a href="
'>http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Free Wedding Vows">
I can't say I'm any more comfortable with this. I avoid debt outside of mortgages and auto loans, to me that's responsible. I also made prudent decisions in going to school and was fortunate to have loans under 8k and were paid off within of year of completing school. DH's are more but managable since we are both in fields that typically make more. I have friends that I know went into debt upwards of 100k in a field that doesnt pay well, I don't feel comfortable of this subject any more than a salary. For me I would still feel like I was bragging. There's also a little judgement on my part that they put themselve in that situation. Knowing the school, program, etc there were other just as good options in my opinion at near by schools that wouldn't have run them that far into debt. So yes, I avoid this even with student loans
I have friends that talk about credit card debt freely, again, I'm not comfortable talking about it because in some cases it's been frivilous irresponsibility. Mortgages and car loans I've talked some when friends have asked. Like a friend looking at houses wanted to know more about the house we bought, and financing, etc. That's ok. I just upgraded my car and friends asked why, zero precent interest, thats why.
I don't know, it all depends on the context, same as salary. IMHO, how you manage your money can say a lot about responsibility so I try not to talk about because in some cases I just don't want to know.
I don't think I would be comfortable discussing debt with anyone besides V. I think one of the main reasons is I just find money talk, and other private matters tacky. But that's just my opinion. Plus V doesn't have any debt good or bad. Unless you count his credit cards which he pays off every month.
I'm very lucky that my parents are paying for my education and my graduate education as well. This allows me to be ahead of my peers and save up so I can be prepared for total finance independence. I know I'm in a small group that can say that though and I dowish my friends didn't have to take out student loans.
I personally will not talk about how much I owe, but I will mention that I have a mortgage and car payment.
How do you handle it when you have differing opinions from your spouse/FI about credit cards? FI hates credit cards, but his ex-wife left him with a lot to pay off from when they were married, and he just got those taken care of while he was deployed. I don't mind credit cards, I looooove interest-free financing. I guess once we're married I'll just keep my cards and he'll keep his - I don't think we'll be responsible for the other's debts that way?
Coming from the financial industry, I feel like people like to talk to me about their financial situation a lot more than they did before I entered into this job field.
I think, in my case, people are more looking for advice than anything. Also, sometimes you just need to get it out when you owe things. A lot of my clients will let their debt eat away at them. I can almost visibly see the weight lift a little when they lay it out on the table.
Basically it's rude to bring up money in any conversation ever.