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Does officiant get an invitation to the reception?

redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Forgive my naiveté, but do I invite my officiant to the reception? The answer would be a clear yes if it were a close family friend or church contact, but what if it's a non-denominational person you've hired? Someone that you've only gotten to know just well enough to put together a ceremony?
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Re: Does officiant get an invitation to the reception?

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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    On top of what Katwag said, I think the day's logistics impact it too. Our ceremony and reception were in the same spot, so I couldn't not invite my officiant to stay for cocktail hour and dinner. I think it would have been tacky to be like, "Ok thanks bye!" The other vendors were being fed as they worked through the reception, and since my officiant's duties were over we sat him and his wife at a table with family members.  
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
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    cupcait927cupcait927 member
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    We invited our officiant. She was so wonderful to work with and I knew that she was doing another wedding right before ours, with no time in between to grab a real meal and rest. She was incredibly appreciative of the invite and H's family loved her (we sat her at a table with a bunch of his aunts).
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    beachyone15beachyone15 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.


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    acaton5acaton5 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    beachyone15 said:
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.
    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We did not.  He was just a paid vendor to us  just like the ceremony musicians.


    Had they had been a person of the cloth or someone we had personally known we would have.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    cafarriecafarrie member
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    We invited our priest verbally (multiple times) but did not send a formal invite.  We planned on him coming, and he came for cocktail hour but didn't stay for dinner. 
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    slothiegalslothiegal member
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    We didn't; we didn't know her before the wedding and treated her like another vendor.  
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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    acaton5 said:
    beachyone15 said:
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.
    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.
    This is true. We did invite our Pastor's wife as well.
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    KatWAG said:
    acaton5 said:
    beachyone15 said:
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.
    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.
    This is true. We did invite our Pastor's wife as well.
    As did we. She was actually supposed to come and run the sound system for the ceremony... and didn't show up. At least he did though, so we made do. :-p 
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    image
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    sarawifenowsarawifenow member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    We did not invite our officiant. He was wonderful, but he was a vendor that we did not know before the wedding. How close are you to your officiant?
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you have a personal relationship with him or her beyond their being your officiant, maybe. But if s/he is simply your officiant and you have no other relationship with them beyond that, then it isn't required.
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    redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thanks for all your replies, everyone. Our officiant is a minister whom I'd never met before the wedding, but she has some connections to my stepmother, so I suppose she is not really an anonymous vendor. I have yet to solidify whether or not she expects to be compensated for the ceremony. I will invite her (especially if she refuses payment!), but I feel a little less strange after reading your responses and seeing that this is a normal thing to do. I'll offer it to her verbally next time we meet. Based on what you all are saying, I guess I extend the invitation to her spouse too (whom I know nothing about)?
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    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Our officiant was an acquaintance of my grandmother's so we invited him to the reception, but he declined. I think it's a nice gesture. 
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    acaton5 said:


    beachyone15 said:


    lolo883 said:


    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.


    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 

    Ditto this.



    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.


    ----
    We didn't have to worry about this since our officiant was a Catholic priest :)




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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    redheadbride15 said:

    Thanks for all your replies, everyone. Our officiant is a minister whom I'd never met before the wedding, but she has some connections to my stepmother, so I suppose she is not really an anonymous vendor. I have yet to solidify whether or not she expects to be compensated for the ceremony. I will invite her (especially if she refuses payment!), but I feel a little less strange after reading your responses and seeing that this is a normal thing to do. I'll offer it to her verbally next time we meet. Based on what you all are saying, I guess I extend the invitation to her spouse too (whom I know nothing about)?

    Yes, invite the spouse as well.




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