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Does officiant get an invitation to the reception?

redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
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in Etiquette
Forgive my naiveté, but do I invite my officiant to the reception? The answer would be a clear yes if it were a close family friend or church contact, but what if it's a non-denominational person you've hired? Someone that you've only gotten to know just well enough to put together a ceremony?
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Re: Does officiant get an invitation to the reception?

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    On top of what Katwag said, I think the day's logistics impact it too. Our ceremony and reception were in the same spot, so I couldn't not invite my officiant to stay for cocktail hour and dinner. I think it would have been tacky to be like, "Ok thanks bye!" The other vendors were being fed as they worked through the reception, and since my officiant's duties were over we sat him and his wife at a table with family members.  
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
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  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We invited our officiant. She was so wonderful to work with and I knew that she was doing another wedding right before ours, with no time in between to grab a real meal and rest. She was incredibly appreciative of the invite and H's family loved her (we sat her at a table with a bunch of his aunts).
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  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.


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  • acaton5acaton5 member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    beachyone15 said:
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.
    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    We did not.  He was just a paid vendor to us  just like the ceremony musicians.


    Had they had been a person of the cloth or someone we had personally known we would have.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • cafarriecafarrie member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its 5 Answers Name Dropper
    We invited our priest verbally (multiple times) but did not send a formal invite.  We planned on him coming, and he came for cocktail hour but didn't stay for dinner. 
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  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    We didn't; we didn't know her before the wedding and treated her like another vendor.  
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  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    acaton5 said:
    beachyone15 said:
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.
    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.
    This is true. We did invite our Pastor's wife as well.
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    KatWAG said:
    acaton5 said:
    beachyone15 said:
    lolo883 said:
    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.

    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 
    Ditto this.
    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.
    This is true. We did invite our Pastor's wife as well.
    As did we. She was actually supposed to come and run the sound system for the ceremony... and didn't show up. At least he did though, so we made do. :-p 
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    We did not invite our officiant. He was wonderful, but he was a vendor that we did not know before the wedding. How close are you to your officiant?
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you have a personal relationship with him or her beyond their being your officiant, maybe. But if s/he is simply your officiant and you have no other relationship with them beyond that, then it isn't required.
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  • redheadbride15redheadbride15 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thanks for all your replies, everyone. Our officiant is a minister whom I'd never met before the wedding, but she has some connections to my stepmother, so I suppose she is not really an anonymous vendor. I have yet to solidify whether or not she expects to be compensated for the ceremony. I will invite her (especially if she refuses payment!), but I feel a little less strange after reading your responses and seeing that this is a normal thing to do. I'll offer it to her verbally next time we meet. Based on what you all are saying, I guess I extend the invitation to her spouse too (whom I know nothing about)?
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Our officiant was an acquaintance of my grandmother's so we invited him to the reception, but he declined. I think it's a nice gesture. 
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    acaton5 said:


    beachyone15 said:


    lolo883 said:


    KatWAG said:

    It depends. Do you view this person as a vendor? If so, then no you dont need to invite them. They are hired to perform a service, thats it.

    But if you have the room in your budget, I think its a nice gesture. We invited our Pastor.  He declined.


    Same here. I agree that it's a nice gesture. 

    Ditto this.



    Agreed. Also: I've been at weddings where the B&G invited the officiant, but not the officiant's SO. Not nice. Poor guy ate and ran. If you're going to invite them as a guest, you need to treat them like a guest and include their SO.


    ----
    We didn't have to worry about this since our officiant was a Catholic priest :)




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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    redheadbride15 said:

    Thanks for all your replies, everyone. Our officiant is a minister whom I'd never met before the wedding, but she has some connections to my stepmother, so I suppose she is not really an anonymous vendor. I have yet to solidify whether or not she expects to be compensated for the ceremony. I will invite her (especially if she refuses payment!), but I feel a little less strange after reading your responses and seeing that this is a normal thing to do. I'll offer it to her verbally next time we meet. Based on what you all are saying, I guess I extend the invitation to her spouse too (whom I know nothing about)?

    Yes, invite the spouse as well.




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