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Is this B-listing?

dcbride86dcbride86 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Sorry - I just mentioned this in a comment on the invitations thread, but can't remember what to put in the title.  Is it an "X" or something?  Sorry!!  I'm fairly new to the boards.

Anyway, I told my fiance I'd ask around about something:

If people say they will not, under any circumstances, be able to go after the STD goes out, is it technically considered "b listing" to add people to the guest list for their spots.? Obviously, if both groups came we could host them both, but we would rather not go over the limit we had set, and the others never got a STD.

I thought it was b-listing, but FI insisted it wasn't since STDs aren't required.

 

Thanks!

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Re: Is this B-listing?

  • daria24daria24 member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2014
    Everyone who receives an STD must get an invite. However the opposite is not true. You can send STDs to just VIPs, out of town guests, etc and add more people to the invitation list later. 

    Just make sure you can afford it if those people who say they can't come based on the STD suddenly, magically decide to come after all. 
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Hmm, I believe since these aren't invites and STDs aren't required for every guest, that this wouldn't be b-listing. Someone correct me if I'm wrong though. It's good you'd be able to host everyone regardless, because you never know if people's plans change.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    dcbride86 said:

    Sorry - I just mentioned this in a comment on the invitations thread, but can't remember what to put in the title.  Is it an "X" or something?  Sorry!!  I'm fairly new to the boards.

    Anyway, I told my fiance I'd ask around about something:

    If people say they will not, under any circumstances, be able to go after the STD goes out, is it technically considered "b listing" to add people to the guest list for their spots.? Obviously, if both groups came we could host them both, but we would rather not go over the limit we had set, and the others never got a STD.

    I thought it was b-listing, but FI insisted it wasn't since STDs aren't required.

     

    Thanks!

    You put XP at the start of your thread title. It stands for "cross posted".
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No it would not be considered b-listing.  However, anyone who received a STD, even if they say that they cannot make it, must receive an invitation.  So you run the risk of "replacing" those that said they couldn't make it when they got the STD having their plans change and then being able to make it to your wedding after all.  So just make sure you can pay for and fit 100% of your guest list at your venue.

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    That's not b-listing. 
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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Thanks everyone!  While it does *pain* me, I guess I have to admit that FI was right here :)

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  • tcnobletcnoble member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    We had this happen - 90% of our guests are OOT and when we sent STDs we received many verbal declines. So my FILs promptly wanted to replace these guests - we are at our maximum, and I had to explain that although these people are adamant they won't come, they still have to receive an invite and until I have an RSVP card back that says "no", they could still potentially change their minds. Because we are at our maximum, we can't replace anyone, but as PPs have said, your situation sounds like you would be okay with replacing these declines as long as you could accommodate everyone.
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