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A sleeping question,...

Do you and your significant other go to bed together?

Probably 2-4 days a week, my FI goes to bed a solid 3-4 hours after me.  I'm an early riser so I'm usually in bed around 11 or falling asleep on the couch by then.  If he still has work to do, which is often, he will come kiss me goodnight, snuggle for a minute and then go work until 2 or 3 am.  


Re: A sleeping question,...

  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would say we usually do, it feels weird not to! I used to have the worst sleeping patterns so I like to go to bed when he does to keep me in check, haha. On the weekends I wake up earlier than him though; my body starts to hurt if I'm in bed too long!

    Formerly martha1818


  • We go to bed together *most* of the time. Sometimes he'll stay up to watch a football/baseball/basketball game, since I won't stay up for those, but usually it's together. 

    It's so funny because sometimes he'll be exhausted and want to go to bed and he gets all sad that I want to stay downstairs and watch TV. Like, he is able to let me go to bed by myself but it can't happen the other way around lol. He pouts. 

  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    We go to sleep together almost every night now. When I was still in college I worked as a waitress and part time. So I would get home around 12 and wake up at 4:30. FI would try to wait on me but it didn't always happen.

    We both go to sleep super early, 8:00ish, and wake up at 4:00.

  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    If FI is home then we go to bed at the same time. I require a lot more sleep then he does due to some medical issues so if we didn't put in the conscious effort to find a compromise then we would never go to bed at the same time.

    We used to have the no TV in the bedroom as the bedroom should be for 2 things only. But we've since compromised on that since it means we both go to bed together which is important to me. We usually start getting ready for bed around 9:30, so we are all snuggled up for 10. We get in some quality snuggle time while I drift off and then FI usually reads or watches a show for another hour before he goes to sleep.

    Its worked well for us since I need the early bedtime, and he snores like a freight train, its really helped our relationship. I can get into a deep solid sleep before he starts snoring and I am not woken up from him coming to bed. And I still get some great snuggles in even though I need to go to bed way before him.
  • natswildnatswild The F-f-f-rozen N-n-north (Northern Alberta) member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    we do, but we're so rarely together that we take advantage of any and all time we have together  :-P
    We've figured out that by the end of the year, we'll have spent maybe 2 months together total :'(

  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    H and I always go to bed together because have the same work schedule. Even when we were sleeping in separate rooms (back to pretty much sharing a bed every night with the pup and H not working out in the morning - no 5 am alarm!), we'd go to bed at the same time because of the time we need to wake up in the morning. Plus we love snuggling in bed together. Rarely will one of us stay up later than the other.
  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I usually go to bed first during the week because I get up a bit earlier than he does and prefer to not feel exhausted in the morning, but on the weekends we typically go to bed together. Sometimes he comes and hangs out with me for a few minutes before I fall asleep, but then he gets up again and spends another hour or two with roomie. If our roommate isn't around he usually comes to bed at the same time as me, though - better that than hanging out alone, I guess, for him.

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  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yes, although he stays up later than I do. He works from home and his shift is over at 1am, so he works from his phone (or sometimes my laptop) in bed. 
  • We love snuggling too, just he works late so often and I can't give up on sleep to stay up with him haha.  He always grabs onto me when he gets in bed though and then we snuggle in the morning when we get up.

    It's funny, a few of my friends have the same thing!  All of our men stay up much later than us working!  I do always wake up though when he gets in bed because I"m a super light sleeper

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My DH is ridiculous. He normally goes to bed before me.  That said, he often will not actually fall asleep until I've gone up.   He has been known to yell down asking when I'm going to bed.  

    Now on the rare occasion I go to bed before him (like 1-2 times a month) he follows me right away.  I don't get it and it's kind-of annoying.  We have a TV in the bedroom.  I have very specific TV programs I can fall asleep to. If he is not tired he will channel surf and it drive me crazy.  I'm always like why couldn't you just stay downstairs if you wanted to watch "x"?

    My mom is always up long after my dad has gone to sleep.  Who actually gets to the bedroom first  depends on where my dad has fallen asleep. He is one who falls asleep on the couch long before he gets to the bedroom, if he even gets to the bedroom.

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  • We almost always go to bed together.  For some reason, FI doesn't require as much sleep as I do, so he usually wants to stay up later even though he wakes up earlier, so every now and then I go to bed before him just because I'm totally exhausted.  Usually, though, when I go to bed he comes in with me and watches TV until he falls asleep.  I think this is mostly because if he doesn't come to bed at the same time as me, he has to forcibly remove me from his side of the bed.  I have some sort of magic powers which allow me to take up ALL of the bed by myself when there's no one else in it. 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Typically no.  I go to bed first and watch TV until I fall asleep (around 10 pm).  H tends to stay up and play video games in the family room until about 11 or 12 at night.  On The Walking Dead nights and typically one other night a week we go to bed together to watch a movie or TV show.

  • When we're living under the same roof, we do tend to go to bed together. However, since I have been sick, I have required a lot more sleep, so I have been going to bed before him.


  • It used to really bother me but I get that he has to work a lot more than me due to his job so now we compromise.  At least 3 nights a week he comes to bed with me to make me happy and because I sleep better with him there.  The other nights, if he's not tired, he stays up working and watching bad movies and usually is in bed by 2-2:30.  We dont' keep a TV in the bedroom because I"m such a poor sleeper and it's helped since I moved 4 years ago and got rid of the TV.

  • Eh, some night we do and some nights we don't. I'd say it's probably a 50/50 split. Every Wednesday we don't. I love Criminal Minds and Stalker - so most Wednesday's me and our rescue pup go in the bedroom and watch them to fall asleep while DH stays in the living room with our Pug watching the shows he wants to watch. During the last month of wedding planning I was doing a lot of crafting so I'd take the living room and he'd take our bedroom. Now that the weddings over and he's switched jobs (he has to get up earlier) we almost fight over who gets our bedroom!
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It depends ;)

    I work from home and DH is usually out the door by 6:30, so I stay up a bit later than he does.  But I'm usually in bed with him goofing around on my iPad.  When we are visiting my parents, it's common for him to still get up before me and enjoy coffee with my parents.
  • I usually go to sleep before FI. He usually stays up working later way into the night. He always comes in for a snuggle and a hug though before I fall asleep.
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  • We pretty much always go to bed together. I am a night owl and he is a morning person so we compromised on a time that let's him get enough sleep. Cuddling in bed usually relaxes me enough that I can go to sleep. If I am still not sleepy, I play on my phone in bed until I get tired enough to fall asleep.

    It is important to both of us that we go to bed at the same time. That is good quality time we spend together cuddling and talking. Plus there is always time for other things if we feel like it. I heard my friends complain too much about how their partners stay up 4 hours later than them and how they rarely did anything in the bedroom other than sleep because of it. That is not the life I want for DH and me.
  • All I do in my bedroom is sleep, snuggle and have sex.  I have other rooms for other things.  :)  

    I like hearing all the different ways people make it work!  

  • Unless one of us is dog tired, we basically go to bed together. I always let him shower/use the bathroom first, so he crawls into bed first. But usually he plays games on his phone or reads until I crawl into bed. It's pointless for me to try to go to bed before him, I'll just toss and turn until he finally gets in.
  • daria24 said:
    Unless one of us is dog tired, we basically go to bed together. I always let him shower/use the bathroom first, so he crawls into bed first. But usually he plays games on his phone or reads until I crawl into bed. It's pointless for me to try to go to bed before him, I'll just toss and turn until he finally gets in.
    I definitely had to train myself to go to bed without him once I got used to him always being there, now I can fall asleep but I usually wake up at 2:30 if he isn't in bed yet.  When we go to bed together, I always brush up first though because he takes FOREVER for some reason getting ready for bed haha

  • We almost always go to bed at the same time. I get up earlier / first on the weekdays.  On the weekends I'll wake up when FI does to get ready for his job, but sometimes I'll just lay there for a bit or get up and start tidying our apartment.

    The one time I went to bed early was when FI had to stay later than close at his job because of inventory.  I heard him come in and then I was back asleep; fortunately I hadn't been drifted off for too long since I can be a super grump if I'm woken up before I'm ready to wake up.
  • On the weekends, I'll usually get up at like 8, get out of bed, paint my nails, catch up on Scandal, order bagels and then go get back in bed with him to wake him up

  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    It was important for us to find a way to go to bed at the same time despite our different sleep schedules because of being in a long distance relationship for so long. If our relationship had started out differently then maybe our sleep arrangement would be different, and heck maybe one day we will do it differently too. But after a year and a half of only seeing each other 5 days a month if we were lucky it is very important to me to go to bed at the same time.

    Being in bed alone just kinda reminds me of 'the old days' as silly as that is and I have a hard time falling asleep. I sleep like crap when he is out of town for work!
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I do recall one night where I could not sleep.  I was wide awake until 3 am.  I took my iPad and went to the couch in the living room to make sure i didn't wake up my husband.  About 30 minutes later, he came out of the room and we both screamed since we scared each other.  Apparently he couldn't sleep, either, and came out to the living room so he wouldn't wake me up (he didn't realize that I was no longer in bed).
  • We usually go to bed together. We moved into our house a little over 5 months ago and our patterns are starting to change, though. When we lived in an apartment, if he stayed up later than me, noises and lights would keep me awake (crappy insulation). Now, our bedroom is on the 2nd floor, and I can't see or hear him at all. Frequently, we will go upstairs at the same time and snuggle or talk for awhile. Then he will go back downstairs for TV or gaming, while I get the bed to myself for a couple hours. I'm a light sleeper, so I almost always wake up when he comes up. I think he's learned that avoiding my crankiness from being woken up is worth him being extra quiet on those nights. I also have a no TV in bed rule, although I will read or play on my phone in bed. 
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    H and I go to bed together every night. He does work from 12am-8am, so he will wake up around 11pm to get ready. We usually go to bed around 9, so we get at least a couple of hours of cuddle time in before he leaves and our furbabies take his place.
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    We are on the exact same sleep schedule. So we go to bed at 9-10 together and we use the same alarm to get up together at 6:15. He works on Saturdays and since my body is used to waking at that time, I just get up with him and start on the housework. Sunday, again our bodies wake up by 7 because that's their trained schedule so we get up and go grocery shopping first thing before the lines.

    It's kind of nice because even when we go on vacation, we get up at 6:30 together and start the day. I know that must sound like hell to some people but I just can't get my body to sleep later even when I stay up late, I've always been a wide awake morning person.



  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    We rarely go bed together.  I usually start getting ready for bed around 10:00 and if either/both of us are in the mood for sex DH will come upstairs with me.  We will cuddle for awhile and then he will get dressed and go back downstairs and watch tv or whatever he wants to do.  He usually comes to bed around midnight.
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  • No. We work opposite schedules. I go to bed around 11 or so and he comes home a couple hours later. Sometimes, I'll wait up, but even then, I'll go to bed as soon as he comes home and he'll want to sit up and read the news, get dinner, maybe shower before coming to bed. On the weekend we do, but most days we don't.

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