So my sister just contacted me asking that it just be me and my dog that join our family for Christmas. She does not want my SO to join us. She said that he made rude comments to her and her SO when they were over. To be honest, I know my SO and I know my sister and I am actually very offended by her request.
I love my sister but she is an extremely abrasive person. It is why I can only handle her in small doses. If your opinion does not align with hers whatsoever, like it has to be absolutely on par with hers (no differences) she will call you an ignorant fool to your face and not let you defend yourself. Also, my sister can be extremely rude. Her defense that she says it is like it is and people will have to deal. My SO is more than likely responded in kind because he can also be stubborn but he is willing to listen to what you say. (He also can get sarcastic but it is nowhere near what my sister is like.) The thing is, my sister is allowed to say whatever she wants but if anyone speaks "out against her" she will not have any of that and will not listen to them and gets very snippy.
She said that I had told her "shhh" because of his views differing from hers (which btw she is guessing because she doesn't know his views). I know that if I told her "shhh" it was because I was feeling bolder while being drunk and just wanted her to be quiet. She constantly talks about her stances and you can never get a word in edgewise and she puts herself on a pedestal and I just get really tired of listening to it. Also, just so everyone knows. My mom is gay. My SO's views align with mine which are, "don't care if you're gay, straight, trans, etc. You deserve to be with who you want to be with as long as you are happy."
I know it sounds biased but I'm not happy about what she said. My beliefs actually align very well with his and I support him in what he says. She said he was insensitive when I was drinking but I did not see it that way at all. I really got out of hand and he is the one who stopped me from feeding my dog cheetos (and I absolutely do not like feeding my dog human food).
Now I cannot tell her that I actually think that she is a very abrasive, rude, and insensitive person or tell her I don't like how she treats people in general because she will get very angry at me and yell at me and insult me (and it really cuts deep when she does) so I don't know what to say. I'm going to stand by my SO. I know how my sister is and I don't agree with her at all.
I want to say something along the lines of "If my SO is not invited, then I will not be joining you for Christmas" but I don't want her yelling at me, calling me a hypocrite, and choosing my SO over my family. I also can't tell her how I really feel because then she will also insult me on top of that and probably never talk to me again. What should I say?