I am a long time lurker on this board and I really feel like sharing my story here will be beneficial for brides in the planning stages.
I am no longer speaking to a friend from college all because of how terrible she was while planning her wedding
Here are the things she did that ruined our friendship as well as her friendships with a lot of other people. Maybe this can be a cautionary tale.
1) Invites- A year before the wedding she sent out a group email asking who would be interested in coming to her wedding. She says she did this because she needed head counts to give her vendors (which makes no sense, but hey...ok) She did not call us to see if the email addresses she had for us were current and so I missed the email and didnt reply. I called her after I heard about the email through some mutual friends. She then informed me that since I missed the email I would not be able to attend her wedding because she was on a tight budget and was basically doing a "first come, first serve" guest list and since I didnt respond to the email fast enough I was off the invite list.
Although I was sad and confused by this I still tried to be a good friend and told her that she could B-list me and if a spot became open for whatever reason that I would love to fill in and be there on her special day. I also found out that she "took back" invitations from some of our friends that had replied to her email because she needed to make room for aunts, cousins, and "more important people"
2) "Bridal" shower- She decided that she would invite all the people who she couldnt afford to have at her wedding to her shower. I informed her that this was really bad etiquette and felt gift grabby. Her answer to that was "You should just be happy that I am letting you celebrate with me in some way and if you were a real friend you would just be supportive and understanding that I'm on a tight budget. I was hurt my this but still considered going until I checked the invitation and realized that the shower is AFTER the wedding. She wont be a bride at her "bridal shower" she will be a wife. Apparently she didnt have time on her schedule to do the shower before the wedding so she's doing it afterwards
I am just shocked and disgusted by the way my "friend" has treated me throughout this wedding "planning" process and I have decided that I dont need "friends" like this. I could excuse her lack of etiquette and just say she didnt know any better but the way she just made me feel so unimportant and her "it's my day I can do what I want" attitude has just made me not even want to remain in this friendship any longer.