Do you give them a gift anyway?
Our officiant and his wife are good friends of mine. He's the pastor of the church I attended in college and I visit with his wife regularly. He said that he doesn't want any payment or gift, since we're friends, and his family would be attending our wedding even if he weren't officiating. Still, we've budgeted to pay the officiant and since he's a friend, we wouldn't feel right about not giving him anything as a thank you. Giving cash seems a little gauche, but we were thinking of sending a thank you note after the wedding with a gift certificate for dinner at a very nice restaurant. Does this sound okay, or should we take him at his word and not give anything? What's the proper etiquette for this situation?