Chit Chat

Today's bitchfest

Because we all have lots of real problems and FWPs- and I have a lot of fussiness today- I hereby declare this today's bitchfest post!

My bitchiness of the day:

MIL is fighting her stage 3 cancer and it looks like she's losing. Instead of being by her side and helping with everything, her sons are fighting with each other while their wives take care of her. DH is staying out of it due to years of bad blood with her (he only started speaking to her again when she got sick). I'm frustrated that they're wasting their time being petty instead of spending time with her- I adore the woman as she does me but we all know she'd rather see her kids and grandkids.

We pre-spent my bonus 2 weeks ago and as of last night are cutting back on Christmas because MIL can't live off of her disability checks. There's no way that anyone could live off of such a low sum but she was spending with the assumption that her request for more would be approved. It wasn't. No one else in the family is in the position to offer any financial assistance so we're the bail-out committee. We're now struggling to figure out how to handle things going forward. She asked us not to tell the rest of the family so we're now the cheap assholes who refused to chip in for a few upcoming family things (a niece's quincenera, an uncle's trip to the US, etc.).

My hand is still wrapped in gauze and tape after burning myself making caramel on Wednesday. The blister hurts and is annoying me. Plus, I'm sick of the constant questions about why my hand is bandaged.

Teenaged boys suck. After dropping a ton of money on a new bed for SS, he's decided that he can't part with what he has. He's too big for his twin mattress (which was ancient and causing back problems) so we bought him a new mattress/box spring and are giving him the bed I had in my old apartment. He's now throwing a fit about getting rid of his old set: he kicked a hole in the back of the frame and didn't want us to find out. This is even more problematic because we promised the frame to BIL for his son.

When I moved in with DH, we initially emptied my apartment into a storage locker while we tried to figure out how to fit my stuff into his tiny house. We got most of the important things in but there's still a lot there. We have a truck and a friend lined up to move the rest with us on Saturday. DH's ex has changed her mind about letting us trade weekends with SS (we get him one weekend a month but he lives with us during the week). We're now down a helper because she needs a babysitter for her infant. The rent on the locker increases dramatically 1/1/15 so waiting until the last weekend of the month for SS to help isn't an option.

My gramma is now calling me 2-3x daily to ask when we're having a baby. We've been married less than 2 months and already know that it's unlikely that we're going to be able to have one- not that we're telling anyone this yet. She's 93 with ever-increasing dementia but it's awful. The worst part is that she's talking about how she wants to have her first grandkid. She's got 3 of us, plus one great grand-kid already.

My family exchanges gifts every year. I have no idea what to get my parents. My gramma keeps saying she just wants grandkids so I'm already planning to disappoint her.

Finally, work is so crazy that I'm working 12-14 hours/day right now. Plus, I'll probably have to work several hours this weekend after we finish moving.

I'm done with my bitching, for now. Your turn!
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Re: Today's bitchfest

  • I'm very sorry about your MIL. 

    All of my bitching is really petty. I have to attend a trade show in San Fran next month, and I really want H to come with me. But he's being very non-committal. Just give me a freaking answer already so I can book my flight! 

    I have a pinched nerve in my back. And a headache that's been hanging around for days. 
  • The florist I met with 11 days ago and was supposed to send me a proposal was apparently fired THAT NIGHT but no one there contacted me.  I"m annoyed.

    My FI was up working until almost 4 am and woke me up when he got in bed (on top of when I already woke up at 2) and I'm exhausted now because I couldn't really go back to sleep.

    My grad school class was cancelled for the 3rd time (and while that makes my night easier because I had a blog event directly after work) it's annoying because I paid a lot for the class and I want my money's worth.

    It's cold and I'm cranky.
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  • My FIL threw a temper tantrum on Sunday.  It just was a sucky way to end an otherwise awesome Thanksgiving weekend.

    Normally, I'd bitch more about it, but I'm pretty numb today.  I found out yesterday afternoon that my brother's gf is miscarrying.  I was at the hospital with them yesterday, and my heart is aching.  I feel so guilty for not liking her before.  
  • I'm sorry you're going through that stuff :( 

    My only major bitching is the same thing I always bitch about-- my dad being an asshole, and I'll just leave it at that because I feel like I post about him pretty much every day. I'm calling a therapist on my lunch break to try and schedule an appointment so I can figure out how to stop being so mad about the shit he says and does. Bleh. 
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  • I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. I wish people didn't put gag orders on others. It makes it hard to be honest and do what you need to do. But it sounds like a messy situation overall.

    I don't have anything good to bitch about, but I did just have an encounter that made me grumble. I hire student tutors at a college and just had a meeting with a student who I'd offered a position to. I really only hire once a semester for the next one, and once the schedule is full, that's it. My budget is very tight and the way training works I really can't bring people in whenever, only in batches.

    So she came in and we're happily chatting away, working on her paperwork, and she said, "Actually, another department might also offer me a job. That's okay right?"

    I told her that HR has made it clear that students can only hold one position on campus at a time. She said, "Oh, in that case maybe I'll work for them for a month, and then if I don't like it I'll just come and work here instead."

    I told her that wasn't the way it worked and from that moment forward she was really wishy washy about whether she wanted to work here or there and said she'd let me know by tomorrow afternoon. I know she wasn't informed properly of the policy by the other department, but it's still like, lady, you're old enough to know you can't just "try out" one job and expect the other job to hold a spot for you. That part really annoyed me.

    I'm sure I'll be over it by lunch but for now I'm both annoyed with her and the other department, which when she said she was offered a job here should have informed her of the policy instead of vaguely saying, "We'll work with your schedule!"
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  • My work environment is getting less and less tolerable.  My coworker's son had a seizure while driving yesterday and rolled his truck.  Luckily he's only banged up and bruised and gets to go home today.  Coworker texted our boss, and the text says it was read, but boss insists she didn't get it and has an attitude that coworker didn't call and leave a message as well on voicemail.  Pretty sure she had other things to worry about, but whatever.  I'm tired of the tension here. 

    Teenagers do suck.  We have a family room with my TV from my house down there.  FSS's room is down there as well, and he's got a TV in his room as well.  He likes my TV better because it's bigger and the huge sectional sofa is down there.  FI was doing homework Sunday, and FSD went downstairs to try to play the Wii - FSS told her to get out, she could play "the fucking Wii" when he was at work.  I was PISSED.  FI has told him before that the WHOLE family room is NOT his, and for sure that TV is NOT his and his alone either!  I made FI interrupt homework to ask him if I should go down there, because I have no problem getting rid of that TV completely if it's going to be a problem.  FI went down there and told him to get his Xbox out of the family room and back into his bedroom and FSS threw a fit because he likes the bigger TV.  Tough shit - it's a shared space and TV.  Ugh. 

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  • So sorry about your MIL. What a frustrating situation.

    I'm beyond grumpy because of all of the weight I put on from the steroids. I started working out (walking) but my body is not used to it anymore, so I'm beyond sore. It takes every ounce of energy I have to do simple things, like dressing myself, showering, or fixing my meals.

    I have also been sick in some form since mid November. DH brought home a cold and it was downhill from there.

    My MIL is not making anything easy for us right now for the holidays. She is a recent cancer survivor, so she knows what I'm going through. Plus, DH and I are living apart because of work and we don't get much time to ourselves. However, she keeps trying to guilt DH into visiting them for Xmas. I do not want to travel nor do I have the energy or patience to be away from home with others. She can't seem to take no for an answer and has started to be WAY too passive aggressive about it. I told DH if it was going to be too much of an issue for her, for him to just go and leave me at home. He just throws his hands up and says he doesn't want anyone mad at him.

    I'm also getting frustrated with moving. I'm not exactly ready to move, but DH is concerned about not having a permanent place to live by February/March. He has been staying with a friend or in a hotel. I get that he is concerned, so we talked about me traveling to do some house hunting in January so we can buy soon after. Sounds great, right? Well, DH is now not sure about keeping our home in AZ. If we don't keep our home in AZ, that changes what we'll buy in TX dramatically. He needs to make up his mind soon. I've been lobbying to keep the house, though I'll be paying the mortgage/utilities in TX. So, it's really up to him- he's paying the AZ mortgage and he is the one who has family in AZ (his kids.)

     







  • I'm sorry, Wanda. Sounds like you have a ton going on.

     

    My bitchfest is about finances (which is ironic because I work in finance). We just had a ton of very unexpected expenses pop up and now we are drowning. I am so embarrassed and there is a very high liklihood that we will have to move in with my mom for a few months to get our feet back under us.

     

    We were just starting to save for a house and now will have to start saving all over again. I cry all the time and this has really put a damper on our TTC timeframe. There is no timeframe anymore because we have to get our finances in order.

     

    I hate being an adult lately and I feel like H and I are fighting a lot. Well, once a month is a lot for us, so there you are.

     

    Stress and bitchiness are at a 100000000%. And on top of that, my assistant has been doing a really shitty job lately and I have her performance review coming up in a few weeks. UGH!

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  • edited December 2014
    I'm going to bitch about Christmas presents and be petty. 

    H family buys gifts for the sake of buying gifts, and everyone gets everyone stuff and I can never think of what to get his fam. Especially since they all tend to usually spend a pretty penny, and after our honeymoon our finances aren't exactly in order to be spending $100+ per family member. 

    This is the last year my family is exchanging gifts. I was going to buy everyone a ticket ($35ish a piece) to a Christmas symphony thing, but they only have single handicapped seats available-so my poor mom would have to sit alone, or I'd pay $125/ticket. Nope. So, basically, unless you are the first person to purchase a handicapped seat at this facility you are shit out of luck and get to sit alone, for super high prices- and this place was JUST RECENTLY BUILT...mehhh. 
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  • I'm sorry. I hope things look up for you soon.


    I have nothing to bitch out today.  After 10 days of house guests the last one left this morning. YAY.   All I need is a helmet and I'm ready to ski this weekend (DH is skiing right now, so jealous).    Work is going good. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I'm really depressed today because I've accepted the fact that my work pants are no longer wear-able. I've gotten too damn fat and have to buy a size bigger. I'm having a hard time justifying buying new pants when I know I could go to the gym and work it off. I'm just worried I won't be able to work it off fast enough with the holidays approaching. Ugh.


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  • I'm really depressed today because I've accepted the fact that my work pants are no longer wear-able. I've gotten too damn fat and have to buy a size bigger. I'm having a hard time justifying buying new pants when I know I could go to the gym and work it off. I'm just worried I won't be able to work it off fast enough with the holidays approaching. Ugh.
    That was my whole reason I wanted to lose weight. My pants stopped fitting and I really, really hate buying pants.
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  • I'm really depressed today because I've accepted the fact that my work pants are no longer wear-able. I've gotten too damn fat and have to buy a size bigger. I'm having a hard time justifying buying new pants when I know I could go to the gym and work it off. I'm just worried I won't be able to work it off fast enough with the holidays approaching. Ugh.
    That was my whole reason I wanted to lose weight. My pants stopped fitting and I really, really hate buying pants.
    I'm buying more leggings when they go on sale Friday because none of my pants and few of my skirts still fit. 

    I keep having dreams about being back in college and then waking up in a panic that my thesis is coming due and I don't even have storyboards done.

    I don't want to go to work. I had yesterday off, but man, I am not looking forward to dealing with customers.

    I feel like I have too much to do and instead of doing stuff I get sucked into unimportant things as I procrastinate. Like, clicking through headlines on I09 and Kotaku instead of cleaning or running errands.
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    Anniversary
  • I have those dreams all the time. Usually I get sent back to high school because of a class they forgot I needed to take, and always in a subject I'm not strong in.
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  • I'm really depressed today because I've accepted the fact that my work pants are no longer wear-able. I've gotten too damn fat and have to buy a size bigger. I'm having a hard time justifying buying new pants when I know I could go to the gym and work it off. I'm just worried I won't be able to work it off fast enough with the holidays approaching. Ugh.
    That was my whole reason I wanted to lose weight. My pants stopped fitting and I really, really hate buying pants.
    Not to turn the whole thread into weight loss stuff, (I'm sorry everybody's having a sucktastic time right now, btw), but my advice:

    I did the whole putting off buying larger clothing thing for literally years (like 10!) as I continued to increase in size regularly. The result - I was never comfortable. My clothes were always ill fighting and uncomfortably tight. I was very insecure because I never loved the way I looked. Last December, I finally bit the bullet. I went to a plus sized store (for the first time in my life) and LOVED THE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE! I felt so more comfortable shopping in a plus sized store than I ever have in a regular size store. I found a lot of really cute stuff (this is the time of year to do it cheaply, too!), and felt much much better. I gained a lot of confidence, and people around me began commenting on how fantastic I looked, all because I was wearing the right size clothing. I bought these properly fitting clothes at the same time that I began Weight Watchers and started losing weight. The clothes started to become too big, which gave me more confidence because I was seeing the positive results of my hard work. I was still able to wear the larger clothing for a few months, so it was money well spent. I have found a couple of other friends who are in the weight loss process, so we trade our clothing around depending on who is in what size at the moment, and that has helped. So my advice is this: Suck it up. Buy the clothing that fits properly. Don't hold out thinking "Well if I just..." because it still takes time to lose enough weight to get into a smaller size.You will feel much better about every aspect of your life if you are wearing clothes that fit you well.
  • DH didn't get to the second round of interviews for a Skype interview he had last week. He knows the market for our field is ridiculously competitive right now, but he's still bummed and scrambling for what to do next year after he graduates. And it's in a city where we really would have wanted to live. Nothing's come of the several other apps he's put in for either :(

    Also, I just brought my friend to the hospital for an angiogram, which is a 25 minute drive between his house and the hospital, not to mention a 25 minute drive between my house and his. I'd thought it was just going to be a morning/early afternoon thing, but he just sprung on me this morning that he needs to stay with someone overnight for observation, and will need to be with someone for the rest of the day. We will have to change our dinner plans since there's not enough for three with what we were planning. Our house is a complete mess, so he'll have to be ok with that, not to mention it's quite small, more like an apartment. And then I have to bring him to his house early tomorrow morning as well, but I'm tempted to ask if he'd be ok with calling a cab for that. I feel bad because he has no one else who can do it, but...dude, you couldn't have given me some notice so we could prepare?? Or, at least packed your change of clothes the night before so I wouldn't have to drive you alllll the way back up to your house in lunchtime traffic?

    So yeah. Petty stuff, but whiny nonetheless :P Thoughts and prayers to you and your MIL!
  • So sorry about your MIL. What a frustrating situation.

    I'm beyond grumpy because of all of the weight I put on from the steroids. I started working out (walking) but my body is not used to it anymore, so I'm beyond sore. It takes every ounce of energy I have to do simple things, like dressing myself, showering, or fixing my meals.

    I have also been sick in some form since mid November. DH brought home a cold and it was downhill from there.

    My MIL is not making anything easy for us right now for the holidays. She is a recent cancer survivor, so she knows what I'm going through. Plus, DH and I are living apart because of work and we don't get much time to ourselves. However, she keeps trying to guilt DH into visiting them for Xmas. I do not want to travel nor do I have the energy or patience to be away from home with others. She can't seem to take no for an answer and has started to be WAY too passive aggressive about it. I told DH if it was going to be too much of an issue for her, for him to just go and leave me at home. He just throws his hands up and says he doesn't want anyone mad at him.

    I'm also getting frustrated with moving. I'm not exactly ready to move, but DH is concerned about not having a permanent place to live by February/March. He has been staying with a friend or in a hotel. I get that he is concerned, so we talked about me traveling to do some house hunting in January so we can buy soon after. Sounds great, right? Well, DH is now not sure about keeping our home in AZ. If we don't keep our home in AZ, that changes what we'll buy in TX dramatically. He needs to make up his mind soon. I've been lobbying to keep the house, though I'll be paying the mortgage/utilities in TX. So, it's really up to him- he's paying the AZ mortgage and he is the one who has family in AZ (his kids.)

    Yeah, if you've been sick and you're immune system is also still recovering from treatment, you reaaaally should not be travelling for the holidays. Not to mention the stress from the move. Tell DH to nut up and firmly explain to his mom that this year you're (both) staying put to prioritize your health.
  • I feel like I have 28753 things to still do for my wedding which is 3 months away and yet I have no idea where to start or I can't start on most of it. 


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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    OP, sorry about everything you are dealing with.  I signed on to join this bitchfest.


    I don't post much anymore, due to craziness with my new job and friends. I haven't had a night at home in forever (which is fine by me! I love being busy). But I'm on today because my grandpa died last night and I'm "working" from home. I'm supposed to be, but I can't focus.  My grandma (from other half of my family) died two months ago and now my grandpa died. 

    And I'm bummed. And I have to miss a bunch of things I was excited for to go the funeral. I wouldn't miss his funeral for the world, but am bummed I am missing my soccer playoffs, two Christmas parties, rescheduling a pseudo-bachelorette party.  And while work is giving me the time off, I feel bad for missing, because I'm taking 2.5 weeks off over Christmas for the holiday, my wedding, and my honeymoon.

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  • I'm sorry for your loss, @pinkshorts27. I've missed you but I'm bummed this is the reason you're back today!

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  • I'm really depressed today because I've accepted the fact that my work pants are no longer wear-able. I've gotten too damn fat and have to buy a size bigger. I'm having a hard time justifying buying new pants when I know I could go to the gym and work it off. I'm just worried I won't be able to work it off fast enough with the holidays approaching. Ugh.
    That was my whole reason I wanted to lose weight. My pants stopped fitting and I really, really hate buying pants.
    Not to turn the whole thread into weight loss stuff, (I'm sorry everybody's having a sucktastic time right now, btw), but my advice:

    I did the whole putting off buying larger clothing thing for literally years (like 10!) as I continued to increase in size regularly. The result - I was never comfortable. My clothes were always ill fighting and uncomfortably tight. I was very insecure because I never loved the way I looked. Last December, I finally bit the bullet. I went to a plus sized store (for the first time in my life) and LOVED THE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE! I felt so more comfortable shopping in a plus sized store than I ever have in a regular size store. I found a lot of really cute stuff (this is the time of year to do it cheaply, too!), and felt much much better. I gained a lot of confidence, and people around me began commenting on how fantastic I looked, all because I was wearing the right size clothing. I bought these properly fitting clothes at the same time that I began Weight Watchers and started losing weight. The clothes started to become too big, which gave me more confidence because I was seeing the positive results of my hard work. I was still able to wear the larger clothing for a few months, so it was money well spent. I have found a couple of other friends who are in the weight loss process, so we trade our clothing around depending on who is in what size at the moment, and that has helped. So my advice is this: Suck it up. Buy the clothing that fits properly. Don't hold out thinking "Well if I just..." because it still takes time to lose enough weight to get into a smaller size.You will feel much better about every aspect of your life if you are wearing clothes that fit you well.
    I know, you're right. There is honestly nothing worse than feeling this uncomfortable!


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  • I'm sorry for your loss, @pinkshorts27. I've missed you but I'm bummed this is the reason you're back today!

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    @lolo883  Thanks girl. I appreciate it. I will return after this weekend with a happy post (with engagement pictures!), I promise!

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  • I'm really depressed today because I've accepted the fact that my work pants are no longer wear-able. I've gotten too damn fat and have to buy a size bigger. I'm having a hard time justifying buying new pants when I know I could go to the gym and work it off. I'm just worried I won't be able to work it off fast enough with the holidays approaching. Ugh.
    That was my whole reason I wanted to lose weight. My pants stopped fitting and I really, really hate buying pants.
    Not to turn the whole thread into weight loss stuff, (I'm sorry everybody's having a sucktastic time right now, btw), but my advice:

    I did the whole putting off buying larger clothing thing for literally years (like 10!) as I continued to increase in size regularly. The result - I was never comfortable. My clothes were always ill fighting and uncomfortably tight. I was very insecure because I never loved the way I looked. Last December, I finally bit the bullet. I went to a plus sized store (for the first time in my life) and LOVED THE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE! I felt so more comfortable shopping in a plus sized store than I ever have in a regular size store. I found a lot of really cute stuff (this is the time of year to do it cheaply, too!), and felt much much better. I gained a lot of confidence, and people around me began commenting on how fantastic I looked, all because I was wearing the right size clothing. I bought these properly fitting clothes at the same time that I began Weight Watchers and started losing weight. The clothes started to become too big, which gave me more confidence because I was seeing the positive results of my hard work. I was still able to wear the larger clothing for a few months, so it was money well spent. I have found a couple of other friends who are in the weight loss process, so we trade our clothing around depending on who is in what size at the moment, and that has helped. So my advice is this: Suck it up. Buy the clothing that fits properly. Don't hold out thinking "Well if I just..." because it still takes time to lose enough weight to get into a smaller size.You will feel much better about every aspect of your life if you are wearing clothes that fit you well.

    You are right.  I've been putting off buying pants because I don't want to buy bigger pants.  I need bigger pants, I'm very pear-shaped and hate accentuating my lower half, but the pants I have current are snug in my thighs and hips, which I hate.  I will buy pants this weekend.  Thanks for the kick in the pants!  :D 
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  • I'm sorry for your loss, @pinkshorts27.  T & Ps with you
  • edited December 2014
    I'm feeling kind of bitchy over stupid small petty things today.

    It's FI's work Christmas party on Thursday. I've been looking forward to it all month because we really don't have much of a social life since we moved to this city. I had a dress picked out and was looking forward to FI getting all spiffy.

    FI's company has also recently secured a new client that involves a flight that leaves Wednesday afternoon, overnights in another city and then does a city to city hop and returns home around 9pm Thursday. They had a new guy start this week who offered to do the flight this week so that FI could attend Christmas party (As new guy's been here 1 day, he was super nice and didn't think it would be fair for FI to miss out).

    And here's the bitchiness. Turns out new guy doesn't meet the clients safety requirements for Pilot-in-Command time. (A Captain has to have a certain amount of hours in an airplane to meet safety requirements, this varies client to client). So this new guys basically useless. Because he cant fly. Because he doesnt have the hours. Like why send him up here when he cant fly for the clients we have?

    So now FI has to do the flight. So we will miss the Christmas Party. And Wednesdays are our normal night for Date night. So we will miss that too. 

    I am one unimpressed little ginger kid.
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  • I am still unemployed.

    My mom is also unemployed. She says the weight of both of us not having a job is making her depressed, and wants to talk to me about how I can find a job.

    Except that I barely have a voice because I am so sick. Yet she keeps asking me a million questions on the phone until my voice entirely goes out, and still wants to talk when I am having to stage whisper everything. (And then she complains that she can't hear me.)

    Fuck all this I am going to make a hot toddy and pass out on the couch.
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  • I realized in the middle of the night last night that I have an eight am lab I have to be at on Saturday on the weekend SO has a trip planned for us.  So now I have to decide to miss a class or cancel the trip.  One of my labs gets dropped, and so far I've had 100% on all of them, so if last week's is still 100% I'll probably be skipping it.  


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  • I just want to hug you, Wanda. Lots going on. :(

    Of course, if you ask my boss, he'll tell you I'm a plague-bearer and to stay well, well away. I have a cough. No fever, no other symptoms, just a cough. It is my standard weather-change cough. It occurs when the weather warms up in the spring - comorbid with my seasonal allergies - and when it cools down in the winter - sans the seasonal allergies as a good explanation. It has done this ev.uh.ry year since 2009 when I had pneumonia.

    I understand that he's concerned. He has a new grandbaby on the way, due in about a month, and he's going to be around it when it's all eensie weensie and new and defenseless. However, I do think he ought to get that I do know what my body is doing, I know exactly what it is, and I know it is NOT. CONTAGIOUS. as I have this cough twice a year every year. If I had insurance, I'd go to the doctor just to shut him up, but my new insurance won't kick in until January, and I can't afford an uninsured office visit just to be given a steroid shot and a prescription for codeinated cough syrup that I won't fill.

    Also we had a client send us 200 text messages out of order and I spent the morning putting them back in order. I had strings of paper spread across our waiting room for about half of my 8-hour day.
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