I'm with Scribe. You know I adore you, CAGiraffe, but if he is missing that much school, some things need to change. I agree with you it is not fair that it is not counted against athletes. I was always very outspoken about that in TX. At my current school, athletic absences are pretty minimal, so it's less of an issue. But it is what it is. I am sure you will not be fined, but do consider making sure he is not missing so much school in the future. Will he get college visit days excused next year as a senior? Here, they get 2.
What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
Now the irony, I had to miss school to go to truancy court. WTF? I'm going here because I missed too much school but in order to go here...I have to miss school...
Well only the morning part of school anyways, we finished early enough I went back for the afternoon.
To answer some questions - my son is 17, which is the minimum age for a private pilot's license. He's been flying since he was 13.
This summer - was busier than normal in that it kept him away from home for so long. He went to Missouri for a college program for a week, then Civil Air Patrol camp for 10 days, then two weeks as a camp counselor at a Boy Scout camp, then a week at another scout camp with his own troop, then 2.5 weeks of band camp. He enjoyed the activities because he's usually with his friends. His school runs August-June, so break is only 8 weeks.
In order to get his pilot's license, he had to fly every day for 9 days straight, during daylight hours. Once the time changed, the only way he would get the hours in was during school. There was no examiner available during the holiday break.
I get that it's a lot of days, and if not for the specific events we attended, I'd have him at school. But I feel like the policy is unreasonable, because those students participating in school events routinely miss as many days or more.
To answer some questions - my son is 17, which is the minimum age for a private pilot's license. He's been flying since he was 13.
This summer - was busier than normal in that it kept him away from home for so long. He went to Missouri for a college program for a week, then Civil Air Patrol camp for 10 days, then two weeks as a camp counselor at a Boy Scout camp, then a week at another scout camp with his own troop, then 2.5 weeks of band camp. He enjoyed the activities because he's usually with his friends. His school runs August-June, so break is only 8 weeks.
In order to get his pilot's license, he had to fly every day for 9 days straight, during daylight hours. Once the time changed, the only way he would get the hours in was during school. There was no examiner available during the holiday break.
I get that it's a lot of days, and if not for the specific events we attended, I'd have him at school. But I feel like the policy is unreasonable, because those students participating in school events routinely miss as many days or more.
I am sorry but attending school is more important that a pilot's license for a 17 year old. Why did he have to get it right now? Why couldnt he wait and take the test this winter break, spring break or over summer?
I still maintain the opinion that is has too much going on for a kid and needs free time. And if his summer break is only 8 weeks that is all the more reason to capitalize on free time.
@AddieCake - I don't know if college visits would be excused next year, but it would be a little late for him. He's applying to the service academies, and their application process starts during his junior year. He needs to secure a nomination from our congresswoman, and she requires the kids to rank their preferences when they apply. How could he know which school was his top pick without visiting? That was the primary reason for the visits this year.
Our school's athletic teams travel a LOT. My son has a friend who runs varsity cross country, and has missed 17 days or partial days this semester. But, he's excused because it's school-sanctioned.
Oh, I get that he needs to go on visits. I have no objection to those days. But they did add to all the other days missed as well, so he maybe shouldn't have missed for some of the less valid reasons. I hate saying less valid b/c I do see that your son is a good kid, good person, and good student, so I don't mean to dismiss his activities or reasons for missing. It's just that no matter how you slice it, it added up to y'all being in this boat now,
What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
I agree that it is ridiculous, especially since partial days count as a day missed. I would have to leave early at least that much when I played softball to get to games. If he is maintaining straight A's, I don't care how much time he missed. I am sure once you explain in court about the absences nothing will happen.
I also don't have a problem with how many activities he has. I had even more activities at that age and I loved them all. It was also done strategically because instead of working, I participated in activities to get scholarships for college. It worked too because I paid for college and law school tuition purely on scholarships thanks to all my activities and high GPA. Good for him for being passionate about things and it will pay off in the future.
To answer some questions - my son is 17, which is the minimum age for a private pilot's license. He's been flying since he was 13.
This summer - was busier than normal in that it kept him away from home for so long. He went to Missouri for a college program for a week, then Civil Air Patrol camp for 10 days, then two weeks as a camp counselor at a Boy Scout camp, then a week at another scout camp with his own troop, then 2.5 weeks of band camp. He enjoyed the activities because he's usually with his friends. His school runs August-June, so break is only 8 weeks.
In order to get his pilot's license, he had to fly every day for 9 days straight, during daylight hours. Once the time changed, the only way he would get the hours in was during school. There was no examiner available during the holiday break.
I get that it's a lot of days, and if not for the specific events we attended, I'd have him at school. But I feel like the policy is unreasonable, because those students participating in school events routinely miss as many days or more.
I am sorry but attending school is more important that a pilot's license for a 17 year old. Why did he have to get it right now? Why couldnt he wait and take the test this winter break, spring break or over summer?
I still maintain the opinion that is has too much going on for a kid and needs free time. And if his summer break is only 8 weeks that is all the more reason to capitalize on free time.
If he keeps his grades up, what exactly is he missing? I'm curious, not argumentative. Also, one detail about his school schedule - he's on a block schedule, so he hasn't missed 9 days of any given class, because they don't attend all of their classes every day. Even when he missed two days in a row, it was only one day of each class.
And why is attending school important for my kid, but not the athletes at his school? If he had chosen football instead of flying, the school wouldn't have anything to say about it. The hypocrisy bothers me.
Oh, I get that he needs to go on visits. I have no objection to those days. But they did add to all the other days missed as well, so he maybe shouldn't have missed for some of the less valid reasons. I hate saying less valid b/c I do see that your son is a good kid, good person, and good student, so I don't mean to dismiss his activities or reasons for missing. It's just that no matter how you slice it, it added up to y'all being in this boat now,
It should have been three days for the college visits, ended up being five due to weather. The other four days were for flying, but he only missed one entire day - the others are partial, and he missed band/study hall two days, and jazz band the other two. I really do believe education is important, and certainly wouldn't want him to fall behind.
Mostly I'm annoyed that there aren't any special rules for students pursuing outside interests. I guess that makes my son (or me?) a speshul snowflake. I know when I was in high school, I had a similar number of activities that kept me out of school for a lot of days, but it was never an issue because my grades were there. My son is passionate about everything he does, and the last thing I'd want to do is take it away from him, especially when he's demonstrated he can handle it.
Oh, I get that he needs to go on visits. I have no objection to those days. But they did add to all the other days missed as well, so he maybe shouldn't have missed for some of the less valid reasons. I hate saying less valid b/c I do see that your son is a good kid, good person, and good student, so I don't mean to dismiss his activities or reasons for missing. It's just that no matter how you slice it, it added up to y'all being in this boat now,
It should have been three days for the college visits, ended up being five due to weather. The other four days were for flying, but he only missed one entire day - the others are partial, and he missed band/study hall two days, and jazz band the other two. I really do believe education is important, and certainly wouldn't want him to fall behind.
Mostly I'm annoyed that there aren't any special rules for students pursuing outside interests. I guess that makes my son (or me?) a speshul snowflake. I know when I was in high school, I had a similar number of activities that kept me out of school for a lot of days, but it was never an issue because my grades were there. My son is passionate about everything he does, and the last thing I'd want to do is take it away from him, especially when he's demonstrated he can handle it.
So, your son is different because he is so gifted, and the rules don't apply to him? Way to teach responsibility, Mom.
Yes...and no. The rules shouldn't be different for him specifically. But how come some kids can miss school for their gifts (athletics, forensics, drama, etc) and he can't? Arguably he has a better chance of a career as a pilot than the school quarterback has in the NFL.
So, your son is different because he is so gifted, and the rules don't apply to him? Way to teach responsibility, Mom.
Yes...and no. The rules shouldn't be different for him specifically. But how come some kids can miss school for their gifts (athletics, forensics, drama, etc) and he can't? Arguably he has a better chance of a career as a pilot than the school quarterback has in the NFL.
Those activities are school sponsored. Yours was not.
So, your son is different because he is so gifted, and the rules don't apply to him? Way to teach responsibility, Mom.
Yes...and no. The rules shouldn't be different for him specifically. But how come some kids can miss school for their gifts (athletics, forensics, drama, etc) and he can't? Arguably he has a better chance of a career as a pilot than the school quarterback has in the NFL.
Those activities are school sponsored. Yours was not.
So, why does the school support some activities and not others? My son will have to compete with those kids to even be admitted into college, much less pay for it (since athletic scholarships far outnumber flying scholarships).
I think when it comes down to it the absences will be consider valid. But when you do activities outside of school you put yourself in the position of explaining yourself to higher ups. I don't think they are picking on your son for having outside activities, but yes he, but he did miss a lot of school. And on paper missing 2 days of school due to weather and another 3 days for flying is going to put up a few flags. I don't care who you are. If they didn't question them then every parent will make up excuses to keep their kids out of school.
Go to court, plea your case. I think you will win.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
I missed a whole month of school straight when I was sick once. We never had to go to court. Is being ill automatically excused? I did have my schoolwork brought home by a teachers assistant or school somebody and I finished with all of it, although I was allowed some leeway with deadlines. I hope that the court thing goes well for you and your son, OP.
I do feel that the hypocrisy of the athletes missing with no penalty is unfair.
And I guess that's my real complaint. Athletes are really only an example, because there are lots of groups who regularly miss at his school. But it's hard to convince me that his absences are significant when they fully support other kids' absences. And some of those kids don't have nearly the grades my son does.
I had to appear for my son after he was hospitalized for a week. It wasn't personal. They just had to satisfy their rules. No big deal.
My point is that the rules are not flexible for different people, just because they think they are doing something educationally valuable. I know parents that have written fake excuses so their kids could go to Disney World or go on a cruise.
Your school system is doing the right thing by questioning your sons excessive absences. I am 100% behind them!
Also, OP, keep in mind that there are probably lots of families or kids that will make up excuses for absences. I get the feeling that everyone is just doing their job. Hopefully your reasons will be valid in the eyes of the court. And if they aren't, then you know things will need to change moving forward.
I missed a whole month of school straight when I was sick once. We never had to go to court. Is being ill automatically excused? I did have my schoolwork brought home by a teachers assistant or school somebody and I finished with all of it, although I was allowed some leeway with deadlines. I hope that the court thing goes well for you and your son, OP.
Illness is excused for 5 days each year. After that, it requires a doctor's note or is unexcused.
When I was in school if you had to miss a class for an extracurricular activity, you had to get that teacher for that class to sign off on you missing it. If for some reason that teacher wouldn't sing off, you were SOL. Sometimes the teacher for the extracurricular would go to your regular teacher to see if there way anyway you could be allowed to miss, but most of the time it was a valid reason. Like there was a test, you had low grades in the class, something along those lines.
I did have one teacher for my government class who would not sign off for me to miss anything for choir or drama because those were "pointless activities", but she'd let her student government kids leave class to go get Starbucks all the time. My choir teacher finally got the princible involved because it was specifically just us choir/drama kids. She'd sign my slip for DECA activities or volleyball games, but never for choir/drama.
Also, OP, keep in mind that there are probably lots of families or kids that will make up excuses for absences. I get the feeling that everyone is just doing their job. Hopefully your reasons will be valid in the eyes of the court. And if they aren't, then you know things will need to change moving forward.
I'm hopeful it all works out. At least most of his absences next semester are band-related and therefore excused. But I still think it's pretty inane some activities are cleared and others aren't.
OP, I am put off by your references to your sons academic achievements. While this is admirable, it does not make him special as far as the rules are concerned.
My children were taken out of public school and sent to a public "Talented and Gifted" program. (I HATE that label!) They did well academically, but socially, the school was horrible. Every parent (except me) bragged about their gifted little darlings. Why? ALL those kids were gifted or they wouldn't have been in that school in the first place. Many of those students had the attitude that the rules didn't apply to them because they were smart, gifted, talented, etc.
I never told my kids they were smart. They didn't know it until about 7th grade, after they were taken out of that school due to a move. I was sickened by the competitive nature of the parents in the PTA. When my daughter won the Science Fair competition, I got lots of snarky comments, like "Oh, you must have helped her!" (I didn't. Maybe that is why she won?)
Most of the kids from that school did well in college, but many had serious social issues. It can be hard to be told how smart and gifted you are, and then find out that there are a lot of other people who are even more gifted than you are.
Please be careful with your son. He needs to learn that the rules are for everybody.
Also, OP, keep in mind that there are probably lots of families or kids that will make up excuses for absences. I get the feeling that everyone is just doing their job. Hopefully your reasons will be valid in the eyes of the court. And if they aren't, then you know things will need to change moving forward.
I'm hopeful it all works out. At least most of his absences next semester are band-related and therefore excused. But I still think it's pretty inane some activities are cleared and others aren't.
It's not that his activities aren't cleared. They simply aren't flagged as such because they aren't school-sanctioned. All the committee sees are numbers. Go to the hearing and explain why he missed class. Chances are, they'll rule in your favor.
The same thing happens for kids who are in the hospital for two weeks or sick with mono for three weeks. The absences require a doctor's note, which is perfectly acceptable.
This is like having a job: if you miss ten days of work due to a business trip, you are "excused" because it's company-sanctioned. If you miss ten days due to illness, you'd better have a doctor's note.
Also, OP, keep in mind that there are probably lots of families or kids that will make up excuses for absences. I get the feeling that everyone is just doing their job. Hopefully your reasons will be valid in the eyes of the court. And if they aren't, then you know things will need to change moving forward.
I'm hopeful it all works out. At least most of his absences next semester are band-related and therefore excused. But I still think it's pretty inane some activities are cleared and others aren't.
The line seems to be fairly clear-school sponsored=excused. Not school sponsored=unexcused. While your son's activities may be beneficial to his future schooling/career, the government has to draw a clear line in the sand, otherwise it gets complicated (and promotes favoritism) for the school to approve certain non-school activities but not others.
I find it odd that the school doesn't allow for a certain number of days for college visits. My high school had such an accommodation-I think you could miss 3 days for those visits junior and senior year. You just had to notify the school ahead of time that you would be absent, and I believe the Admissions office had to sign a piece of paper verifying your visit.
Also, OP, keep in mind that there are probably lots of families or kids that will make up excuses for absences. I get the feeling that everyone is just doing their job. Hopefully your reasons will be valid in the eyes of the court. And if they aren't, then you know things will need to change moving forward.
I'm hopeful it all works out. At least most of his absences next semester are band-related and therefore excused. But I still think it's pretty inane some activities are cleared and others aren't.
Your son was out or partly out of school 9 days. 4-5 days of which were to visit schools. 2 of those were because of weather. Hardly an activity if you ask me. 3 of which were for flying. Which is not your standard activity for a 17 year old.
They are not picking on you. They are asking you to explain what happened. I'm sure with your son's academic record he will be fine. But these rules are not put into place to pick on you. It's to keep those parents who say they are going to look at schools but go skiing instead.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
OP, I am put off by your references to your sons academic achievements. While this is admirable, it does not make him special as far as the rules are concerned.
My children were taken out of public school and sent to a public "Talented and Gifted" program. (I HATE that label!) They did well academically, but socially, the school was horrible. Every parent (except me) bragged about their gifted little darlings. Why? ALL those kids were gifted or they wouldn't have been in that school in the first place. Many of those students had the attitude that the rules didn't apply to them because they were smart, gifted, talented, etc.
I never told my kids they were smart. They didn't know it until about 7th grade, after they were taken out of that school due to a move. I was sickened by the competitive nature of the parents in the PTA. When my daughter won the Science Fair competition, I got lots of snarky comments, like "Oh, you must have helped her!" (I didn't. Maybe that is why she won?)
Most of the kids from that school did well in college, but many had serious social issues. It can be hard to be told how smart and gifted you are, and then find out that there are a lot of other people who are even more gifted than you are.
Please be careful with your son. He needs to learn that the rules are for everybody.
I understand what you're saying. To be fair, I don't really consider my son to be especially gifted - he works really hard for his achievements. My point regarding the grades is that his grades wouldn't benefit from additional time sitting in a classroom, whereas some of the kids missing school for "excused" activities could use the class time to improve their grades.
I don't know of any school that says "if your GPA is over a certain average you can miss as much school as you want". It doesn't work that way.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
I'm also unaware of athletes missing tons of days. I think that is overstated. My daughter is in high school and has never missed a day for any extracurricular. I mean maybe if you are in a state championship maybe but I don't understand or accept this generality. She has been on a few field trips with classes but not extracurricular.
I was an athlete in high school and rarely missed - maybe the last half hour on a game day? But at my son's school, the athletes miss a lot. The entire football team missed a Friday so they could travel to a game being played 5 hours away in San Diego. The girls' basketball team was in a tournament 3 school days last week. I looked at the school bulletin today, and four athletic teams are excused at 10AM. Maybe it's because we're rural, but the athletes spend a lot of time on the road.
Re: NWR. Vent - Parenting
To answer some questions - my son is 17, which is the minimum age for a private pilot's license. He's been flying since he was 13.
This summer - was busier than normal in that it kept him away from home for so long. He went to Missouri for a college program for a week, then Civil Air Patrol camp for 10 days, then two weeks as a camp counselor at a Boy Scout camp, then a week at another scout camp with his own troop, then 2.5 weeks of band camp. He enjoyed the activities because he's usually with his friends. His school runs August-June, so break is only 8 weeks.
In order to get his pilot's license, he had to fly every day for 9 days straight, during daylight hours. Once the time changed, the only way he would get the hours in was during school. There was no examiner available during the holiday break.
I get that it's a lot of days, and if not for the specific events we attended, I'd have him at school. But I feel like the policy is unreasonable, because those students participating in school events routinely miss as many days or more.I am sorry but attending school is more important that a pilot's license for a 17 year old. Why did he have to get it right now? Why couldnt he wait and take the test this winter break, spring break or over summer?
I still maintain the opinion that is has too much going on for a kid and needs free time. And if his summer break is only 8 weeks that is all the more reason to capitalize on free time.
@AddieCake - I don't know if college visits would be excused next year, but it would be a little late for him. He's applying to the service academies, and their application process starts during his junior year. He needs to secure a nomination from our congresswoman, and she requires the kids to rank their preferences when they apply. How could he know which school was his top pick without visiting? That was the primary reason for the visits this year.
Our school's athletic teams travel a LOT. My son has a friend who runs varsity cross country, and has missed 17 days or partial days this semester. But, he's excused because it's school-sanctioned.
I also don't have a problem with how many activities he has. I had even more activities at that age and I loved them all. It was also done strategically because instead of working, I participated in activities to get scholarships for college. It worked too because I paid for college and law school tuition purely on scholarships thanks to all my activities and high GPA. Good for him for being passionate about things and it will pay off in the future.
If he keeps his grades up, what exactly is he missing? I'm curious, not argumentative. Also, one detail about his school schedule - he's on a block schedule, so he hasn't missed 9 days of any given class, because they don't attend all of their classes every day. Even when he missed two days in a row, it was only one day of each class.
And why is attending school important for my kid, but not the athletes at his school? If he had chosen football instead of flying, the school wouldn't have anything to say about it. The hypocrisy bothers me.
It should have been three days for the college visits, ended up being five due to weather. The other four days were for flying, but he only missed one entire day - the others are partial, and he missed band/study hall two days, and jazz band the other two. I really do believe education is important, and certainly wouldn't want him to fall behind.
Mostly I'm annoyed that there aren't any special rules for students pursuing outside interests. I guess that makes my son (or me?) a speshul snowflake. I know when I was in high school, I had a similar number of activities that kept me out of school for a lot of days, but it was never an issue because my grades were there. My son is passionate about everything he does, and the last thing I'd want to do is take it away from him, especially when he's demonstrated he can handle it.
So, why does the school support some activities and not others? My son will have to compete with those kids to even be admitted into college, much less pay for it (since athletic scholarships far outnumber flying scholarships).
My point is that the rules are not flexible for different people, just because they think they are doing something educationally valuable. I know parents that have written fake excuses so their kids could go to Disney World or go on a cruise.
Your school system is doing the right thing by questioning your sons excessive absences. I am 100% behind them!
My children were taken out of public school and sent to a public "Talented and Gifted" program. (I HATE that label!) They did well academically, but socially, the school was horrible. Every parent (except me) bragged about their gifted little darlings. Why? ALL those kids were gifted or they wouldn't have been in that school in the first place. Many of those students had the attitude that the rules didn't apply to them because they were smart, gifted, talented, etc.
I never told my kids they were smart. They didn't know it until about 7th grade, after they were taken out of that school due to a move. I was sickened by the competitive nature of the parents in the PTA. When my daughter won the Science Fair competition, I got lots of snarky comments, like "Oh, you must have helped her!" (I didn't. Maybe that is why she won?)
Most of the kids from that school did well in college, but many had serious social issues. It can be hard to be told how smart and gifted you are, and then find out that there are a lot of other people who are even more gifted than you are.
Please be careful with your son. He needs to learn that the rules are for everybody.
It's not that his activities aren't cleared. They simply aren't flagged as such because they aren't school-sanctioned. All the committee sees are numbers. Go to the hearing and explain why he missed class. Chances are, they'll rule in your favor.
The same thing happens for kids who are in the hospital for two weeks or sick with mono for three weeks. The absences require a doctor's note, which is perfectly acceptable.
This is like having a job: if you miss ten days of work due to a business trip, you are "excused" because it's company-sanctioned. If you miss ten days due to illness, you'd better have a doctor's note.