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Fuming right now.

13

Re: Fuming right now.

  • I am so sorry you are going through this! *hugs*  You don't sound like a mess, you are just going through a crappy situation!  I agree with the other ladies that boundaries, however hard they might be, might be a good idea.  I would also not respond to her messages as it seems like no matter what you say, she isn't happy.  It's like you can't win.  Such bullcrap drama.

    I am sorry this exists in your life!  If you ever need to talk, I'm here. :)

    novella1186
  • kmbay84 said:

    I am so sorry you are going through this! *hugs*  You don't sound like a mess, you are just going through a crappy situation!  I agree with the other ladies that boundaries, however hard they might be, might be a good idea.  I would also not respond to her messages as it seems like no matter what you say, she isn't happy.  It's like you can't win.  Such bullcrap drama.

    I am sorry this exists in your life!  If you ever need to talk, I'm here. :)

    Thank you! That is very nice of you :) 
    image
  • I just got an e-mail from my mom. No message. It was only an attachment of the receipt from the bakery for our wedding order. For some background: My parents insist on paying for dessert, so they chose the bakery and added a ton of expensive shit to the order. Then got pissed about how much it cost. Um.. ok. 

    My mom ALREADY mailed me a copy of the receipt so I could keep it in my file. This was weeks ago. Now out of the blue, right after we have a big fight, she e-mails me the same receipt. What kind of manipulative bullshit is this? 

    I believe one of her motives must be: 
    1. To get my attention and act like everything is fine so I'll talk to her 
    2. To rub it in my face that she and my dad have contributed something to the wedding 
    3. To make some other kind of passive aggressive statement

    I'm so annoyed. I didn't reply and I'm not going to. But wtf? I'm tempted to just call the bakery and cancel the whole order, and then order something that I can afford to pay for myself, but I know that's gonna start a whole big shitstorm of drama that I do not want to deal with. 
    image
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Feel free to have your texts and calls forwarded to my cell phone, and I'll be happy to respond to them on your behalf ;-)

    I am thinking of starting a call center business that helps people deal with the BSC people in their lives.
    I would totally come work for you there.

    We'd have booze in the break room right? I can tell people off really well when fueled by alcohol.
    novella1186PrettyGirlLostKauris[Deleted User]
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    MagicInk said:
    Feel free to have your texts and calls forwarded to my cell phone, and I'll be happy to respond to them on your behalf ;-)

    I am thinking of starting a call center business that helps people deal with the BSC people in their lives.
    I would totally come work for you there.

    We'd have booze in the break room right? I can tell people off really well when fueled by alcohol.
    It'd be part of the job requirement to be at least a sheet-and-a-half blowing in the wind when you deal with these MFs.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    novella1186PrettyGirlLostlevioosa
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm sorry that your mother keeps doing this.

    The only thing you can do when someone refuses to respect boundaries is to pull the plug on them completely. That may be what you need to do to get peace in your life. Change your phone number or drop texting capabilities for the time being and make sure there are no additional ways she can communicate with you. You'll also have to make clear to the rest of the world that you won't deal with anyone she recruits as her messenger on this.

    It's extreme, but so is her behavior towards you.
    novella1186PrettyGirlLost
  • Wow, that does sound like some manipulative passive aggressive crap.  Passive aggressive manipulation is horrible and one of my major pet peeves.  I agree with just ignoring it.

    Could I join too @PrettyGirlLost?  I do not usually tell people off as I am too diplomatic.  In fact, I don't think I ever have.  With alcohol I do get more boisterous though!  I could let out my frustration by going outside of my comfort zone and just not giving a crap and telling people off!  It could be fun! I have always wanted to do that, but have been too intimidated to do so.  Well, move over intimidation, loudmouth is coming to town!

    PrettyGirlLost
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
     
    MagicInk said:
    Feel free to have your texts and calls forwarded to my cell phone, and I'll be happy to respond to them on your behalf ;-)

    I am thinking of starting a call center business that helps people deal with the BSC people in their lives.
    I would totally come work for you there.

    We'd have booze in the break room right? I can tell people off really well when fueled by alcohol.
    OMG yes!  I was going to try and head-hunt @beethery and a few others, too.

    I was thinking of having a fully stocked bar and chocolate fountain in the break room :-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    beetherynovella1186VulgarGirl
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    kmbay84 said:

    Wow, that does sound like some manipulative passive aggressive crap.  Passive aggressive manipulation is horrible and one of my major pet peeves.  I agree with just ignoring it.

    Could I join too @PrettyGirlLost?  I do not usually tell people off as I am too diplomatic.  In fact, I don't think I ever have.  With alcohol I do get more boisterous though!  I could let out my frustration by going outside of my comfort zone and just not giving a crap and telling people off!  It could be fun! I have always wanted to do that, but have been too intimidated to do so.  Well, move over intimidation, loudmouth is coming to town!

    Hired!

    Now we just need a company name and some investment capitalists. . . .and booze!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • kmbay84 said:

    Wow, that does sound like some manipulative passive aggressive crap.  Passive aggressive manipulation is horrible and one of my major pet peeves.  I agree with just ignoring it.

    Could I join too @PrettyGirlLost?  I do not usually tell people off as I am too diplomatic.  In fact, I don't think I ever have.  With alcohol I do get more boisterous though!  I could let out my frustration by going outside of my comfort zone and just not giving a crap and telling people off!  It could be fun! I have always wanted to do that, but have been too intimidated to do so.  Well, move over intimidation, loudmouth is coming to town!

    Hired!

    Now we just need a company name and some investment capitalists. . . .and booze!
    I would love to be a backer. I'll bring several cases of vodka and whiskey. 
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    Looks like I'm gonna have to wear shorts to work all the time.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    novella1186VulgarGirlesstee33
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    I don't have any tattoos.  =(


    image
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    As a co-owner this one doesn't apply to me ;-)

    Every phone call ends with "Thanks, and eat a bag of dicks!"

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    beetherynovella1186slothiegalashley8918
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    As a co-owner this one doesn't apply to me ;-)

    Every phone call ends with "Thanks, and eat a bag of dicks!"
    My calls are going to end with, "Go shit yourself!"
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    novella1186OliveOilsMomesstee33ashley8918
  • levioosa said:
    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    I don't have any tattoos.  =(
    We'll draw one on you :) 
    image
    beethery
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    levioosa said:
    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    I don't have any tattoos.  =(
    We'll draw one on you :) 
    If it's going to look like the penises we used to draw on dirty cars when we were kids, I'll go get a temp off Etsy :-P

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    novella1186
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    levioosa said:
    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    I don't have any tattoos.  =(
    We'll draw one on you :) 
    I'm game. 

    Since we're drawing hypothetical tattoos let's make it a dragon that curls up my arm and shoulder and then breathes fire across my neck and collar bone.

    It's to represent that any bullshit will burn in my hellfire of snarkiness. 


    image
    PrettyGirlLostesstee33novella1186
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    Can I work there too? I have tattoos, I drink, I say fuck a lot...I also have this gif:

    image

     

     


    Hmm maybe we should do an informal interview?

    How would you handle this situation:  It's the morning of my wedding, I'm getting my hair done,  and FMIL calls me. . . from her car. . . on her smartphone with GPS. . .  on the way to the reception venue for her make up appointment to ask me what the venue address is.  This is after I have already sent out a detailed email to the VIPS and WP that lists all important addresses and links to Google Maps directions.

    I hand you the phone. . . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @PrettyGirlLost

    "Are you talking on your phone while driving? That is super unsafe. Once you find a safe place to pull over you can call back, but before you do PGL sent you the address in an email, it has links to the directions. Try using that first, again, once you pull over. If you can't do that, find someone else to call. But first pull over!" click.

    Upon her of course calling back

    "I'm quiet sure you know someone else who knows the address, the bride is busy, call someone else"

    Then we stop answering the phone. We can't tell your FMIL to go fuck herself. You have to put up with her forever. But we can redirect her to someone anyone else for the love of fuck you got fucking invitation plan the fuck ahead.

    Yes people called us for addresses day of. Yes they annoyed me. Because I had to keep looking up the address. I know how to get there, I do not know the address. That's why I put in in the goddamn invitation.
    PrettyGirlLostnovella1186
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    MagicInk said:

    @PrettyGirlLost


    "Are you talking on your phone while driving? That is super unsafe. Once you find a safe place to pull over you can call back, but before you do PGL sent you the address in an email, it has links to the directions. Try using that first, again, once you pull over. If you can't do that, find someone else to call. But first pull over!" click.

    Upon her of course calling back

    "I'm quiet sure you know someone else who knows the address, the bride is busy, call someone else"

    Then we stop answering the phone. We can't tell your FMIL to go fuck herself. You have to put up with her forever. But we can redirect her to someone anyone else for the love of fuck you got fucking invitation plan the fuck ahead.

    Yes people called us for addresses day of. Yes they annoyed me. Because I had to keep looking up the address. I know how to get there, I do not know the address. That's why I put in in the goddamn invitation.
    AMEN!!

    I also had ppl calling me the week of asking me what time check in was at our reception venue- it's a bed and bteakfast- and if the hotel took checks or just credit cards.

    Um, I don't work for the hotel. . .I'm just the bride who is trying to finish up last minute shit.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    VulgarGirlnovella1186
  • ovella1186 said:

    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    Well, I don't have any tattoos but I do have Joan red hair and a huge collection of three inch "do not fucking cross me I will cut you" heels.  That work?

    PrettyGirlLostnovella1186
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    ovella1186 said:

    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    Well, I don't have any tattoos but I do have Joan red hair and a huge collection of three inch "do not fucking cross me I will cut you" heels.  That work?
    Can I borrow some sometimes? I'll let you borrow some of mine...
    PrettyGirlLostnovella1186
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    ovella1186 said:

    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    Well, I don't have any tattoos but I do have Joan red hair and a huge collection of three inch "do not fucking cross me I will cut you" heels.  That work?
    We need to see pics first ;-)

    Your 5 favs!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    novella1186
  • ovella1186 said:

    PrettyGirlLost and Beethery Fuck Off Foundation, Inc. 

    Company regulations: 
    You must be under the influence of alcohol 
    You must have a visible tattoo (that one's for me)
    You must be bitch-tastic 
    You must be liberal with the F-bombs 
    You must tell it like it is 
    You must show no mercy 
    Well, I don't have any tattoos but I do have Joan red hair and a huge collection of three inch "do not fucking cross me I will cut you" heels.  That work?
    We need to see pics first ;-)

    Your 5 favs!
    Only 5??!! I'll try to narrow it down.  It will have to wait until I get home from work. 

    novella1186
  • buttercup1958buttercup1958 Blue Smokey Mountains
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    novella1186  Trust me, I know how you feel. My family has called me cold, heartless, I lack love and passion for my family. I will also have a hard life if I don't change who I am as a person. This all came from me sitting down while they tried on things, refusing to be a part of their racist conversations, lacking excitement for seeing a football stadium, and not feeling comfortable with being shoved.

    I've been going to therapy and it has helped me a lot to talk about these things. Their words don't affect me because I know they aren't true. If this happened when I was 16, I would still be crying about it. Just because you refuse to let them control you doesn't mean you don't love them. I think that is a important thing to remember. Do I love my family? Yes but they are emotionally draining and I have learned a long time ago that I can only handle them in small doses. Please PM if you want to talk about this or anything else!

    image
    novella1186esstee33
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