Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Chit Chat
TK newsletter "Who Pays for What?"
I saw the subject line "Who Should pay for what for your wedding?" in my inbox and knew TK would have something outdated and, in my opinion, incorrect:
Ceremony
- Bride and family pay for church or synagogue, sexton, organist, etc.
- Groom and family pay for marriage license and officiant's fee.
Clothes
- Bride and family pay for bride's dress, veil, accessories, and trousseau (read: lingerie and honeymoon clothes).
- Groom and family pay for groom's outfit.
- All attendants pay for their own clothing (including shoes).
Flowers
- Bride and family pay for arrangements for church (including huppah if a Jewish wedding ceremony) and reception, plus bouquets and corsages for bridesmaids and flower girls.
- Groom and family pay for bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, boutonnieres for men, and corsages for mothers and grandmothers.
Honeymoon
- Groom and family pay for complete honeymoon. WHAT.
Photography
- Bride and family pay for all wedding photos and video.
Prewedding Parties
- Bride or groom's family plans and hosts engagement party; if there is more than one, bride's family hosts the first one.
- Groom's family plans and hosts the rehearsal dinner.
- Bride plans and hosts bridesmaids' luncheon.
- Groom hosts and plans bachelors' dinner.
- Maid of honor and bridesmaids host shower.
- Best man and ushers host bachelor party.
- Friends may throw additional engagement parties or showers.
Reception
- Bride and family pay for all professional services, including food, drink, decorations, and music.
Rings
- Bride and/or her family pay for groom's ring. I kind of lol'd at this one too. "Mom I know you're already footing the bill for pretty much everything but can I have a little extra to buy my fiance's wedding band?"
- Groom and/or his family pay for both of the bride's rings.
Stationery
- Bride and family pay for invitations, announcements, and wedding programs.
Transportation
- Bride and family pay for wedding transportation of bridal party to and from ceremony and reception.
Here is a link to the article: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-budget/articles/wedding-budget-who-pays-for-what.aspx. In TK's defense, there is a little introduction that says this is the "traditional" way to split costs, and in this day and age, usually the B&G are helping out with costs. But how many people reading this article actually read that blurb... and I cringe thinking about how many people are printing out this article and showing it to their family. "Look mom, even the Knot says you have to pay for the whole reception." "Hey, fiance... when you get a chance, just tell your parents that I would love to go to Italy for two weeks for our honeymoon mmmkay?" I get annoyed with newsletters like this especially because they end up floating around on pinterest and people think this is the only way to plan and pay for a wedding.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: TK newsletter "Who Pays for What?"
...So what you're saying is that my FI's family basically owe us a honeymoon, right? They're required to pay for any honeymoon we choose? Nice!
Seriously, who believes this stuff anymore? I actually never knew that the groom and/or his family were supposed to pay for the honeymoon, but that's just insane. That's a VACATION!
<a href="
'>http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Free Wedding Vows">
If anyone saw my, TK is not actually has inclusive as they say, rant on the gay wedding board (and also here), this is what the fuck I was talking about. I mean we agree this is all bullshit if you're same sex relationship, straight relationship, poly relationship, whatever the fuck. Plan to pay your own way be grateful if someone offers to help. But every fucking thing TK writes is all from the hetero perspective. But they're SOOO inclusive! So long as you don't actually know what the word inclusive means.
I'm the fuck out.
I worked in a small office with two women (not gay), who knew through business contacts a gay couple that were getting married (commitment ceremony technically b/c gay marriage wasn't legal in our state a few years ago).
And they kept asking each other, "which is the groom? Is it the one who wears pants?" Finally I said, "they're BOTH brides because they're both WOMEN. Neither is "the man" in the relationship, because they are both women."
Why is this so hard to understand?
BTW, wearing a strap on doesn't mean "you're the man," either; right? It means you were the one who used / weilded the sex toy. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
ETF: words
Somehow they didn't see fit to do the same with mine. I demand a re-do.
I'm the fuck out.
My cousin is 24 and just got engaged. The bride's parents said they wanted a 300 person wedding with all their friends, so they are footing 95% of the bill.
My cousin demanded that my aunt pay for the open bar because it was the only thing not covered by the bride's parents. My aunt laughed in his face and said it's never going to happen. It like never even crossed his mind that the two of them might have to pay a dime towards this event. Fucking ridiculous.
So I was also going to do gown this *very sarcastic* road and ask "What?? One of you isn't the "man" in the relationship? Isn't that how gay people do it? Because it's inconceivable that two men or two women in a homosexual relationship, who are already, by definition, not "conforming to gender norms as determined by society" wouldn't assign themselves gender normative titles and appropriate associated roles.
But then I laughed so hard at the term "wielded the sex toy" that I couldn't formulate the well-spoken, intelligent and progressive thinking sarcastic comment. Because I was imagining wielding a 4 foot long dildo in battle.