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How would you know your FI isn't the "one"?

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Re: How would you know your FI isn't the "one"?

  • yogapantsyogapants member
    250 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    RebeccaB88 said:
    Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this:  I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing.  I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.
    @RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right.  I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives 
    I don't understand the connection between going to a strip club and teaching children? He's not going to be teaching theM to strip. Going to a strip club isn't inherently evil.
    I know we have some ex-strippers on here. That's cool. Let's avoid stripper-bashing. But the OP absolutely does not need to hear right now that what her guy is doing is acceptable behavior. She doesn't need to hear reasons that maybe he isn't really that bad. This is a guy who has been physically violent toward her. She needs to leave. Now.
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    SUPER late to this one.

    OP, good for you, starting over at any age is tough.

    Serious questions: Do you have an exit plan?  Do you have a safe place to stay? Do you have some money saved up to help you transition?

    We have some crazy smart women on TK who can help you find some resourcesif need be.

     

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    RebeccaB88 said:
    Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this:  I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing.  I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.
    @RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right.  I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives 
    I don't understand the connection between going to a strip club and teaching children? He's not going to be teaching theM to strip. Going to a strip club isn't inherently evil.
    I know we have some ex-strippers on here. That's cool. Let's avoid stripper-bashing. But the OP absolutely does not need to hear right now that what her guy is doing is acceptable behavior. She doesn't need to hear reasons that maybe he isn't really that bad. This is a guy who has been physically violent toward her. She needs to leave. Now.
    Re read everything that I have said to her. I highlighted all of the red flags.

    ETA: Boxes.  And pointing out a fact is certainly not equivalent to saying her FI isn't really a bad guy. 

    He's a dick.  She needs an exit plan and she needs to leave him and be safe.  We all are saying the same thing.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • blabla89blabla89 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    RebeccaB88 said:
    Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this:  I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing.  I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.
    @RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right.  I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives 
    I don't understand the connection between going to a strip club and teaching children? He's not going to be teaching theM to strip. Going to a strip club isn't inherently evil.
    No, but if they previously were in agreement that going to a strip club was not acceptable within the bounds of their relationship or their beliefs, then it's understandable that OP feels that it's a violation.
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  • teamc2016teamc2016 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    RebeccaB88 said:
    Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this:  I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing.  I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.
    @RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right.  I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives 
    I don't understand the connection between going to a strip club and teaching children? He's not going to be teaching theM to strip. Going to a strip club isn't inherently evil.
    I know we have some ex-strippers on here. That's cool. Let's avoid stripper-bashing. But the OP absolutely does not need to hear right now that what her guy is doing is acceptable behavior. She doesn't need to hear reasons that maybe he isn't really that bad. This is a guy who has been physically violent toward her. She needs to leave. Now.
    Re read everything that I have said to her. I highlighted all of the red flags.

    ETA: Boxes.  And pointing out a fact is certainly not equivalent to saying her FI isn't really a bad guy. 

    He's a dick.  She needs an exit plan and she needs to leave him and be safe.  We all are saying the same thing.
    I'm not saying anything about the strippers.  It was more the lies, the sneaking around, and all the other bull crap.  Nothing against the women and no I don't think he's going to "teach the kids to strip" smh.  I was totally upset about it.  Sorry for even brining it up, just needed to vent.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    beethery said:
    He could be going to the damn walmart, the big issue is LYING about it.
    Exactly.


    teamc2016 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    RebeccaB88 said:
    Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this:  I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing.  I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.
    @RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right.  I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives 
    I don't understand the connection between going to a strip club and teaching children? He's not going to be teaching theM to strip. Going to a strip club isn't inherently evil.
    I know we have some ex-strippers on here. That's cool. Let's avoid stripper-bashing. But the OP absolutely does not need to hear right now that what her guy is doing is acceptable behavior. She doesn't need to hear reasons that maybe he isn't really that bad. This is a guy who has been physically violent toward her. She needs to leave. Now.
    Re read everything that I have said to her. I highlighted all of the red flags.

    ETA: Boxes.  And pointing out a fact is certainly not equivalent to saying her FI isn't really a bad guy. 

    He's a dick.  She needs an exit plan and she needs to leave him and be safe.  We all are saying the same thing.
    I'm not saying anything about the strippers.  It was more the lies, the sneaking around, and all the other bull crap.  Nothing against the women and no I don't think he's going to "teach the kids to strip" smh.  I was totally upset about it.  Sorry for even brining it up, just needed to vent.
    Don't be sorry at all.  I was just trying to understand what the exact issue was.

    How are you feeling today?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    PrettyGirlLost said:
    beethery said:
    He could be going to the damn walmart, the big issue is LYING about it.
    Exactly.


    teamc2016 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    RebeccaB88 said:
    Have to agree with all the previous posts, and just add this:  I guarantee that going to the strip club wasn't a 'crazy' thing.  I'd bet my next paycheck that he's a regular there.
    @RebeccaB88 you're absolutely right.  I took a few hours to plan and clear my head, and found out he went again tonight.....and he has to teach children in the morning... #ICANT If I were a cussing woman this post would be filled with expletives 
    I don't understand the connection between going to a strip club and teaching children? He's not going to be teaching theM to strip. Going to a strip club isn't inherently evil.
    I know we have some ex-strippers on here. That's cool. Let's avoid stripper-bashing. But the OP absolutely does not need to hear right now that what her guy is doing is acceptable behavior. She doesn't need to hear reasons that maybe he isn't really that bad. This is a guy who has been physically violent toward her. She needs to leave. Now.
    Re read everything that I have said to her. I highlighted all of the red flags.

    ETA: Boxes.  And pointing out a fact is certainly not equivalent to saying her FI isn't really a bad guy. 

    He's a dick.  She needs an exit plan and she needs to leave him and be safe.  We all are saying the same thing.
    I'm not saying anything about the strippers.  It was more the lies, the sneaking around, and all the other bull crap.  Nothing against the women and no I don't think he's going to "teach the kids to strip" smh.  I was totally upset about it.  Sorry for even brining it up, just needed to vent.
    Don't be sorry at all.  I was just trying to understand what the exact issue was.

    How are you feeling today?
    I didn't see it as stripper bashing.  I saw it more as breaking boundaries and trust and a disgusted response to the duplicity behind it. 

    Ditto PGL, OP, how are you today? I can't remember if you mentioned this or not, but do you live with your FI?


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