SERIOUS question - help settle a discussion

luckya23 · December 2014

I've only been living with FI for 5 days, but I'm thinking closed is the way to go!

Cookie Pusher · December 2014

Growing up with so many people in our one-bathroom house (seriously, on a good day there was only 5 of us, usually it was 10 or more), the bathroom was the one room in the entire place with a lock on the door. Yes, someone would invariably bang on the door, ask what you're doing and demand to be let in, but it was still the only absolutely private space we had. That has carried over to my adult life. NO ONE COMES IN THE BATHROOM WHEN I'M IN THERE. MINEMINEMINEMINE.

daria24 · December 2014

Closed for everything. When we had cats we would leave the door ajar so they could come use the litter box if we were showering. But even with the shower curtain closed H gets annoyed if I come in to grab something out of the cabinet.

H lived alone for 10+ years and I'm sure he always closed the door even then.

WinstonsGirl · December 2014

We're technically a closed door house, but our enquire door is in front of a bath at and it doesn't always close all the way if gets caught on the mat. And it's always too late for me to close it again (or I'm too lazy), so it's a little open. Bug if I hear DH walk into the bedroom I just yell out "I'm peeing!" And he he knows to stay out. Always fully closed for pooping

ohannabelle · December 2014

I don't care if a family member pees with the door open.

But poop? I find shit so godawful disgusting horrifying that I couldn't deal with that.

Don't want to smell shit, be near shit, talk about shit, or think about anybody's shit.

I avoid public restrooms whenever possible, because poop.

I really could not, ever, in a public restroom. Once, when I was really sick. (2011) Too sick to care.

If I'm in a public restroom and somebody else does, I have to leave immediately or I vomit, which is almost as bad. There are many times I'll open a restroom door, turn around, and leave. Not going in there.

Horrifying.

sophhabobopha · December 2014

Closed for poop. That needs to be a private moment/half hour.

RebeccaB88 · December 2014

Potty time is private time. Alone, door closed, ONLY. Not negotiable.

I can handle sharing the bathroom for almost anything else. Just not active business doing.

Maggie0829 · December 2014

H and I use separate bathrooms, me the guest bathroom, him the master bathroom. Now since I hang out in our bedroom, H will typically close the door. When I am not home he leaves it open (I have seen pictures he has taken of our pup while he was sitting on the toilet). When I need to pee I leave my bathroom door open because it is in the front area of our home while our bedroom/master bathroom is in the back area so I have no fear of H walking by. I also leave the door open when I am home alone because why shut it? Now if I need to poo I shut the door, not really sure why because like I said H won't just meander on by and he rarely is upstairs unless it is to use the bathroom or go to bed.

But like some others have said, potty time is private time. I really have no urge to see my H peeing or pooping or him seeing me do the same. We aren't secretive about it or anything. I mean H will tell me when he is going up to poop because I won't see him for like an hour, but we don't need to witness each others bowel movements.

mikenberger · December 2014

Peeing is not a big deal. But nobody wants to walk into the wall of stank. Nuh huh. No way. I know he poops, I'm fairly certain he knows I've been known to lay one down as well. We don't need to confirm it.

thisismynickname2 · December 2014

I said "other" because toilet-based matters are completely off limits. However, we live in a one-bed, one-bath condo and have the same work schedule. Everything else-- showers, make-up, shaving, hair-drying, teeth-brushing--- we have no choice but to be in the bathroom together if we're going to get anywhere on time.

We even do courtesy flushes to help reduce smell-producing issues and light candles after extended time spent on the toilet.

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

Am I the only one who closes the door when nobody's home? I have this weird fear of someone breaking into the house and seeing me pooping. I need a minute to get my wits about me and pull my pants up before I go all Liam Neeson on an intruder.

And my dogs bother me. Mostly because my dogs bother me.

cupcait927 · December 2014

lolo883 said:

Am I the only one who closes the door when nobody's home? I have this weird fear of someone breaking into the house and seeing me pooping. I need a minute to get my wits about me and pull my pants up before I go all Liam Neeson on an intruder.

And my dogs bother me. Mostly because my dogs bother me.

You're not the only one. The door is closed, regardless of what I'm doing and if I'm alone. Door always closed. H and I have zero desire to share that part of our lives with each other and prefer to keep things private. I'm sure he leaves the door open while no one's home but I can't do it. I also have the dog issue now. If I'm in there, Fred likes to come in and put his paws up on my knees while I'm trying to do my business and just stares me at. No thanks pup - you can wait outside.

arrippa · December 2014

As an introvert with social anxiety, the bathroom is a safe space for me. If I am at a party and starting to get overwhelmed, I would retreat to the bathroom. As a result, even at home, I always close the door (I would open it to let the cat in) for both #1 and #2.

huskypuppy14 · December 2014

lolo883 said:

Am I the only one who closes the door when nobody's home? I have this weird fear of someone breaking into the house and seeing me pooping. I need a minute to get my wits about me and pull my pants up before I go all Liam Neeson on an intruder.

And my dogs bother me. Mostly because my dogs bother me.

Before we had our dog, if my husband wasn't home I might pee with the door open once in awhile. But now with the dog that needs to follow me everywhere it always has to be closed.

Poop always closed no matter what.

l9i · December 2014

We're mostly open. Typically if one of us is using the bathroom the other is not just standing there watching. But if H or I happen to walk past the other or needs to get ready as well in the bathroom (one bathroom house), no big deal. Doors get shut sometimes for poop, not really sure why sometimes yes and sometimes no... I suppose we're just odd people. However, if I do leave the door open I expect H not to come by. I yell at him if he dares try to look at me or have a conversation while I'm pooping. He doesn't see the big deal, but nope. I'm not making eye contact and having a conversation during that time, it can wait.

Along the same lines. I have no shame in public pooping or using a public bathroom in general as long as it isn't completely gross. I know lots of people find that odd. I'm not going to sit in agony, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

I'm sure this will change once kids come along.

photokitty · December 2014

I always shut the door, I had a thing about never going to the bathroom in front of my BFs prior to DH. DH came with a dog and said dog will not let me pee alone. I have found it's easier to let him open the door rather than me locking it and him scratching the wood.

We also only have one bathroom, so if I have to pee while he is shaving then so be it.

DH usually shuts the door - bc his dog will let him pee alone - WTF? *sigh*

thisismynickname2 · December 2014

l9i said:
I'm sure this will change once kids come along.

Oh my goodness. In retrospect, I feel so bad for the way I behaved as a child. It's like I never needed anything from my mom unless she was in the bathroom with the door closed. I feel like I owe her a giant apology for pestering her during the times when privacy would have been most appreciated. For all the years of knocking on the door asking, "Mom, where's the xyz?? Mom, can I have abc?"... I'm sorry.

princessleia22 · December 2014

Always closed for pooping... no exceptions. That just doesn't need to be seen. And, like others said, that is a highly toxic zone with DH is in there.

For peeing, door is usually left open, but even that can depend. DH always leaves it open when peeing. We never do it with the other person actually in the room with us. And I feel uncomfortable if he has a clear view of me... like I feel like I'm being watched, even if I'm not. If he's in the other room or something, I usually just leave it open to pee.

hellosweetie1015 · December 2014

When I was a teenager/up until March, we only had one bathroom. There were six people in the house, counting parents. Two boys and four girls. The boys were the only ones to ever get private time in the bathroom. The girls: One's doing her makeup, one's drying her hair, one's using the bathroom, and one's in the shower. All at once. I didn't have the option of locking the door, partly because it didn't really "lock" so much as "fail to turn but push it and it'll open anyway", and partly because if you locked everyone out of the bathroom, it made everyone (including you) late and it was your own damn fault if you got detention for it.

I will never, ever allow that. Even if I have to build a fucking bathroom schedule to allow people private bathroom time, or put up an outhouse, or fucking buy chamber pots or something and stick in closets for emergencies, the bathroom will be a place that is fucking PRIVATE. It is the single most hated thing that ever occurred throughout my childhood.

Wegl13 · December 2014

Bahahaha, I have exactly the opposite reaction when it comes to dogs and the bathroom.... This wasn't the case until I got Naughty Dog in 2011. Naughty Dog likes to find things to tear or get into. Naughty Dog knows that you can't find her and punish her when you have your pants down. Naughty Dog climbs on the kitchen table when you go to the bathroom for 3 minutes. So Naughty Dog has a new command.

"Bathroom Buddy."

That's right. When I say "bathroom buddy!" my dog knows to follow me into the bathroom and get pets while I do my business. It's either that, the crate, or have my house destroyed in five minutes flat.

ShesSoCold · December 2014

H and I both leave the doors open to pee and we have no problem peeing in front of each other. Our bathroom is a jack & jill type (which is annoying since it's the only bathroom and is between the only two bedrooms) and H always closes both doors to poop since the stench is so terrible. Sometimes I close one or both doors but a lot of the time I don't. I just tell him I'm pooping if I hear him coming towards the bathroom.

PrettyGirlLost · December 2014

We usually respect each other's space, and we have 2 bathrooms now so it's awesome, but overall I don't care about DH being in the bathroom while I'm showering, peeing, etc. And he doesn't really care either.

rnsoon · December 2014

Starting to feel like a freak with all you door-closers!

Number 1 in front of each other all the time. Number 2 he peeks in on me sometimes, just because I squeal and am like get out, but it's just habit and he thinks it's funny.

He likes me to talk to him while he's going Number 2 at home, lol. I don't know if it's intentional, but he somehow always starts up a conversation. Inevitably, he always has to go in whatever store we are in, and he usually ends up texting me while I wait the year and a half it takes, lol.

We also leave the door open for the dogs.

Maybe we are just freaks. Shrug.

l9i · December 2014

rnsoon said:

Starting to feel like a freak with all you door-closers! Number 1 in front of each other all the time. Number 2 he peeks in on me sometimes, just because I squeal and am like get out, but it's just habit and he thinks it's funny. He likes me to talk to him while he's going Number 2 at home, lol. I don't know if it's intentional, but he somehow always starts up a conversation. Inevitably, he always has to go in whatever store we are in, and he usually ends up texting me while I wait the year and a half it takes, lol. We also leave the door open for the dogs. Maybe we are just freaks. Shrug.

This is me. My parents used to joke when I was younger that they knew where every bathroom was in any location we traveled because inevitably I'd have to go to the bathroom. Usually because I didn't listen and go before we left.... I was that child. But yeah, If I have to go #2 my H texts me constantly "Did you fall in?" etc etc... he finds it funny.

AddieCake · December 2014

I'm curious to know how and if this "settled" your discussion, OP.

okulew29 · December 2014

This is an odd one. I will at times, but not with him like in bed and use the en-suite. However when one of us is in the shower, the other has no issue using the toilet of same said bathroom.

rnsoon · December 2014

l9i said:

rnsoon said:

Starting to feel like a freak with all you door-closers!

Number 1 in front of each other all the time. Number 2 he peeks in on me sometimes, just because I squeal and am like get out, but it's just habit and he thinks it's funny.

He likes me to talk to him while he's going Number 2 at home, lol. I don't know if it's intentional, but he somehow always starts up a conversation. Inevitably, he always has to go in whatever store we are in, and he usually ends up texting me while I wait the year and a half it takes, lol.

We also leave the door open for the dogs.

Maybe we are just freaks. Shrug.

This is me. My parents used to joke when I was younger that they knew where every bathroom was in any location we traveled because inevitably I'd have to go to the bathroom. Usually because I didn't listen and go before we left.... I was that child. But yeah, If I have to go #2 my H texts me constantly "Did you fall in?" etc etc... he finds it funny.

BF's text usually go something like "pooping", as if I didn't already know, then something like "omg something died in here", and then I just end up laughing at him. Lol.

That's funny you're the same way as him

ETA: Also in the camp of the curious as to how and if this helped the OP, lol.

anjemon · December 2014

lolo883 said:

Am I the only one who closes the door when nobody's home? I have this weird fear of someone breaking into the house and seeing me pooping. I need a minute to get my wits about me and pull my pants up before I go all Liam Neeson on an intruder.

And my dogs bother me. Mostly because my dogs bother me.

Okay, not breaking into the house. But my Grandparent's house has a bathroom just down the hall from the front door. They live in a smaller town and their driveway is long so you need to intend to get to their house to be at the front door. My Grandma has this horrifying/funny story about one time she didn't shut the bathroom door. The front door was open with just the glass inner door closed. And a salesman came to the door. Neither one was prepared to see the other and it was apparently very embarrassing.

But that's what I think of when I leave the door open.

ashley8918 · December 2014

I can't remember if I already answer this or not, and i'm too lazy to go back and look.

Anyway. I pretty much NEVER close the door unless I have to change a tampon (because ain't nobody want to accidentally see that shit). FI usually closes it when he poops (do adults seriously refer to bathroom activities as #1 and #2?), for smell reasons.

We are a 1 bathroom household, and just generally dont care if the other sees us using the bathroom. It's just not a big deal.

mrscaty · December 2014

AddieCake said:

I'm curious to know how and if this "settled" your discussion, OP.

rnsoon said:

rnsoon said:

Starting to feel like a freak with all you door-closers! Number 1 in front of each other all the time. Number 2 he peeks in on me sometimes, just because I squeal and am like get out, but it's just habit and he thinks it's funny. He likes me to talk to him while he's going Number 2 at home, lol. I don't know if it's intentional, but he somehow always starts up a conversation. Inevitably, he always has to go in whatever store we are in, and he usually ends up texting me while I wait the year and a half it takes, lol. We also leave the door open for the dogs. Maybe we are just freaks. Shrug.

This is me. My parents used to joke when I was younger that they knew where every bathroom was in any location we traveled because inevitably I'd have to go to the bathroom. Usually because I didn't listen and go before we left.... I was that child. But yeah, If I have to go #2 my H texts me constantly "Did you fall in?" etc etc... he finds it funny.
BF's text usually go something like "pooping", as if I didn't already know, then something like "omg something died in here", and then I just end up laughing at him. Lol. That's funny you're the same way as him ETA: Also in the camp of the curious as to how and if this helped the OP, lol.

So I have now discovered that DH was right, apparently we are the weird ones, keeping the door open all the time. This really has been informative - I guess it's just that I thought everyone did like we did....now what others seemingly normal things am I doing that aren't so much?!?!?!?!

The world may never know...

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