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Chit Chat
novella1186
member
Spinoff: craziest dating disasters?
in Chit Chat
The OKCupid thread just gave me terrible flashbacks (shudder). I'm so so so thankful and happy that I met a guy as wonderful as FI! We've been together for over two and a half years so I really don't think about my dating life anymore, till that thread reminded me of some horrible experiences (some hilarious, some just flat-out insane). I'm curious, what's your worst dating story?
Here's one of my most insane:
I was visiting a friend at her college and while walking around campus we ran into two guys who started chatting with us. They were really friendly and fun to talk to, and we told them we were on our way to a bar to get a drink. They asked if they could walk us there, so we all went. I'm totally hitting it off with one of the guys (let's call him C) and having a great time, but my friend and I decided we were ready to head home. At this point, C's buddy had ditched him and he apparently didn't have a ride back to where he was staying (he said he was an alumni of the school and was just back for a visit). Well, my friend, who is really not the brightest person, invites him to walk back to her place with us-- which is nearby-- and sleep on her couch. WTF?
At this point I was kind of getting weird vibes from this guy. Not that he was being creepy or inappropriate, but something about him was making me uneasy and I was ready for us to just go our separate ways. We had a drink, we had fun, time to call it a night. Unfortunately C takes my friend up on her offer and comes home with us, at which point I go into friend's room and lock the door (just in case) so we can go to sleep. She insists I go out and talk to C because "he's just sitting alone on the couch and that's awkward." Um... YOU invited him, genius!
I go out to talk to him, and suddenly he starts spilling his guts, telling me his mom committed suicide, his dad was in a mental hospital, on and on, and I had no idea what to even say. Then he takes my hand and puts it inside his shirt on his shoulder, and I feel all these bumps, almost like alligator scales. He tells me they're scars because he likes to cut himself. Holy shit. I politely end the conversation, go back in my friend's room, lock the door, and go to sleep. The next day I pretended to be too hungover to get up until he left because I felt so awkward that I didn't want to talk to him.
He then starts texting me right after he leaves (sadly I had given him my number back when things were still fun) asking for a ride up to my college. I made up a story about having to detour somewhere else and said I couldn't give him a ride. Then I ignored his other texts and hoped he would just leave me alone. The day I get back to my apartment, I get another text from him. He has decided that he and I should commit suicide together. He describes in great detail that he would like me to cut my wrists and "let the blood spill", and he would like to sit there with me and watch me die, (and he even offered to hold me while I bleed out! How sweet!) and then he'll shoot himself once he makes sure I'm really dead. What. The. Fuck.
I told him to never contact me again, and then spent the next few months being terrified that he would show up on my college campus and look for me, but I never saw or heard from him again.
Your turn!
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Re: Spinoff: craziest dating disasters?
I'm the fuck out.
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Wow none of mine are that bad!
I've had crappy boyfriends but I haven't dated a lot.
There is one that I remember. I can't even remember where I met this guy. This was after I dumped my controlling/abusive boyfriend. I was over the relationship for awhile so I didn't have much of a mourning period. So anyways, he comes over and picks me up. Everything is going ok, but he keeps touching me. Like putting his hand on my thigh. While we were driving he got into an accident and the other driver just drove off. He didn't care at all and continue as if nothing had happen. We didn't have much in common and seeing him not be resonsiple was a major turn off. He dropped me off after the movie and I never saw him again.
I know!! I always tell him that's actually the worst date ever for the girl, not him. He jokes that it actually worked out well for him because he got to drink for free for the rest of the night lol. The girl's parents were local so they met her at the hospital, and she said she didn't want FI there there, too, since it was a first date and that would be the most awkward way ever to meet the parents lol.
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1) Met a guy at a bar. I was in my "not very picky" stage and agreed to meet him there again another night. He wasn't my type, but he was cute enough. I showed up to the bar; he immediately looked me square in the face and said, "So are we gonna fuck or not? Cuz if not, you can leave."
WOW. I left, called a friend (male), and went back to the bar just so he'd see I could have a good time without going home with random dudes.
2) Bear with me. I met a guy through a friend. He lived about 30 minutes north of me (big metro area). Since I was still living with my parents, I agreed to meet him at his place, then we'd proceed on our date. I was dieting pretty seriously at the time, but I would eat normally on dates, I just knew what to order.
I rang the doorbell and heard "hold on a minute." After an uncomfortable wait, he opened the door in a towel. HUH? He says, "I am running late, just have a seat on the couch. I'll be ready soon." While he changes in his room, he proceeds to tell me that his toilet had overflowed, thus making him late. Mmk.
He says he wants to take me to this great little restaurant kinda off in the middle of nowhere, fantastic food, friendly with the owners. Ok. So we drive. And drive. And drive. Soon, we are completely on the south side of our area, and he confessed that he didn't know exactly where the place was, had probably passed it, but we can just get food down here. He asks where I'd like to eat. I say anything is fine, but I'd prefer not Applebees. Well, we went to Applebees.
Dinner was uneventful until dessert. He decided he wants a milkshake, asks me what I'd like. I'm dieting, so I politely decline. He insists. No thanks. The waitress comes, he orders both of us a milkshake. I tell her no, I don't want one. He tells her to bring me one. GRR. I finally managed to convince her NOT to bring me one.
After dinner, we're supposed to go to a movie, but he asks if we can stop by Target first. Strange, but ok. We go in, he gets a plunger. Ya know, to fix his toilet. Hands me the plunger and tells me to hold on to it, he has to use the restroom.
I stood in Target for over 30 minutes. No exaggeration. I messaged him, and he finally comes to find me. He then proceeds to tell me, in detail, what the toilet looked like when he was done with it. And of course, that had been the cause behind the backed up toilet at his place, too.
We did not go to a movie after that.
1) Friends set her up with a friend of theirs who was a cop in the next town over. The entire night he was showing her pictures of all of his guns that he carried around in his wallet like they were pictures of his kids.
2) She was set up with a guy we went to high school with by his mom calling her mom to coordinate date and time and place (this was 10 years after we graduated). The date was in mid December and was going to be at his parents house and they would all play board games together. She went along with it because his mom said he was just super shy, which my friend remember being true in school. He was nice and cute, she liked playing board games, and figured if a double date with his folks made him more comfortable to start OK. It was weird, but could be worse.
She got there and it wasn't just his parents. Their date was also grandma's 90th bday party with the family, so grandma was there along with the date's siblings, their spouses and their kids. She was on the couch next to her date, who barely spoke to her. Everyone else was talking to her, especially his mom, and going on about her date's best attributes.
Finally after cake and stuff for grandma, everyone crowded around the table to play some board games. Christmas music was playing in the background, and the song with the lyrics "Christmas bells are ringing" came on. His mom started singing along with the song, except she substituted "WEDDING bells are ringing" at that part and then giggled about it how she mixed up the lyrics. My friend said she very firmly told her it was CHRISTMAS bells, not wedding bells.
The evening finally wound down, with her date barely having spoken two words the entire night (probably because he couldn't get a word in with how much his mom talked). My friend commented about how good the white chocolate popcorn they had been munching was, and the mom started in about how her date had some at his place, he should take my friend back to his place for more popcorn, why don't the two love birds go back to his place for popcorn now, etc.
She escaped eventually and went home after he mumbled he would call her. He did in fact call her a few days later and apologized for his mom and offered to take her out again. She politely declined. He is now married, and our guess is that he didn't let his mom anywhere near that girl until after the wedding.
I'll be honest, I couldn't decide if I was going to do a lot of "pre-screening" before dates or just go on the dates and see where things led.
So the first guy I went on a date with in over 6 years was AWFUL (no pre-screening, just 1-2 messages to set up a time and location). I noticed he was rushing me through our dinner. He tried to order for me, didn't even ask me if I wanted an appetizer, just said no when the waiter asked us if we wanted one (NBD, I didn't, but still) and it was just weird.
Time comes to pay and I ask if I can pick up any of the tab, leave a tip, whatever. Guy says no, hands the waiter the folder and then my date looks at me and says, "now you have to have sex with me." I waited thinking there was some really bad punch line, but he was COMPLETELY serious.
I thought shit like that only happens in movies and TV. I try to make a joke out of it and politely say no at the same time, but he keeps pushing and pushing and pushing. We took separate cars and I was freaking out because he was following me to mine in the parking lot and I thought I wouldn't get away. When I finally started jogging he stopped and I managed to get to my car.
He texted me as I was driving away and said that if I wasn't prepared to fuck that I shouldn't be on a dating site. Well, this is a dating site, not a hook up site, so-o.... yeah, worst first date ever to get back into the dating saddle with. I cried on my way home but decided he was a douche and I felt better a few hours later.
I have absolutely no problem with stay at home wives either. My mother stayed at home with us kids and didn't go back to work after we were school aged. She put in so much effort at home and my father always appreciated everything she did.
I show up to Starbucks and find out he has a very severe case of cerebral palsy. Can't drive himself (he took a bus to our meeting location), can't cook his own meals (eats take out or grocery store pre-made deli counter food), etc.
So I'm sitting there and a part of me is understanding of why he chose not to mention this before hand, even though I mentioned to him during our pre-date chats that I like to exercise and I'd like to do more outdoorsy things with the people I date... Because I'm sure a lot of people just don't give him the time of day. So I'm trying to be attentive and to see if we have anything in common, because hey, you never know.
That's when he mentions he runs an online radio talk show for people with disabilities, and the point of the show is to encourage people with disabilities so they feel they can do anything and don't have to be ashamed of their disabilities. So I ask him as nicely as I can why he didn't mention his to me before we went on a date and he literally had no answer. He just looked up from his drink and stared at me. After a full minute or so, I told him I didn't think we had much in common and I wished him luck finding someone.
For me, the disability, in that moment, wasn't what was off putting. It was that he HID it from me, and then went on and on about his radio show that was all about supporting and encouraging people with disabilities to be themselves and not ashamed of their disabilities. Considering my douchy ex had just spent about 3 years lying to me about and concealing from me REALLY big things, I didn't think I could handle that and booked it- it felt like a concealment.
I look back now and realize that he probably had his reasons for not telling me, and who am I to judge- maybe he just wasn't comfortable with his disability himself, or had burned a lot of times, or the radio show was part of something he was doing to help him GET to that place of personal acceptance.
But I felt like he purposely hid it and when he couldn't give me ANY kind of answer about why, I knew I just couldn't be with that after all the BS with my ex.