So we got an invite in the mail...

tcnoble · December 2014

For a wedding on Valentines day. FIs first response is "why do people assume everyone else would love to go to their wedding on valentines day just because they think it's so romantic??" High five FI.

And then it says "Formal Attire. Casual Affair." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????

fwtx5815 · December 2014

"We want it to feel and look really fancy but we aren't willing to make the effort or spend the money to have a truly formal event" probably didn't fit so they had to go with the short version

jacques27 · December 2014

tcnoble said:

For a wedding on Valentines day. FIs first response is "why do people assume everyone else would love to go to their wedding on valentines day just because they think it's so romantic??" High five FI.

And then it says "Formal Attire. Casual Affair." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????

It means you are respectfully declining to attend this sh*t-show and spending the evening with your FI at any place that isn't that wedding.

I don't understand why people think it's a) ok to dictate attire to begin with, and b) that it's ok to require guests to dress formally to match your "vision" when you aren't willing to properly host that vision.

mikenberger · December 2014

So my parents got married on Valentines Day. Then divorced 14 years later. Which meant Valentines Day no longer existed in my life

its been super handy for FI haha

ETA: casual/formal are contradictory. No matter how you jazz it.

climbingsingle · December 2014

I think this calls for a tuxedo t-shirt. It's casual and formal all at the same time.

tcnoble · December 2014

The weird thing is their invitation suite is super nice. I would've actually thought it was going to be a fairly formal event. Until I read that line.

mikenberger · December 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:
I think this calls for a tuxedo t-shirt. It's casual and formal all at the same time.

Mullets. Mullets everywhere.

tcnoble · December 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I think this calls for a tuxedo t-shirt. It's casual and formal all at the same time.

I like to picture my Jesus in a tuxedo t shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.

climbingsingle · December 2014

tcnoble said:
show previous quotes

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I think this calls for a tuxedo t-shirt. It's casual and formal all at the same time.

I like to picture my Jesus in a tuxedo t shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.

Exactly! (Love that movie)

IrishPirate60 · December 2014

One of my brothers got married in a tuxedo t-shirt. I've seen the pictures--I didn't get an invitation.

loveislouder · December 2014

I don't understand why people have weddings on "special" days like Valentines Day. I got invited to a wedding on Christmas once... like no thank you.

misshart00 · December 2014

I actually don't have a problem with the valentines wedding. It's a Saturday that may have been the only day that worked.

apromise22 · December 2014

misshart00 said:

I actually don't have a problem with the valentines wedding. It's a Saturday that may have been the only day that worked.

Agreed. February 14, 2015 is in fact a Saturday. Valentine's Day isn't exactly Christmas or some day you spend with extended family (or have to travel)--it's a day you spend with your S.O., who presumably is also invited to this wedding. I'd feel a bit cheesy having a wedding on Valentine's day, but who cares?

MegEn1 · December 2014

I don't think I can talk. We're getting married Columbus Day weekend.

climbingsingle · December 2014

I personally love going to weddings, so I'd actually be happy to attend one on Valentine's Day.

pinkcow13 · December 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I personally love going to weddings, so I'd actually be happy to attend one on Valentine's Day.

Same here. Plus, I am not a fan of Valentine's Day in general. What would annoy me though, is that ridicuous blurb.

AddieCake · December 2014

Yeah, I don't get the disgruntledness with a Valentine's Day wedding. Big deal.

Obsoleteforce · December 2014

I'm getting married on Flag Day!! LOL Although I didn't know it was flag day until half-way through the planning. Hope it doesn't conflict with any of the guests schedules. hahahaha

[Deleted User] · December 2014

MegEn1 said:

I don't think I can talk. We're getting married Columbus Day weekend.

We got married the same weekend. It worked in our advantage as several guests were teachers and had a long weekend to travel to our wedding (local for us, but in a popular vacation destination area).

huskypuppy14 · December 2014

Obsoleteforce said:

I'm getting married on Flag Day!! LOL Although I didn't know it was flag day until half-way through the planning. Hope it doesn't conflict with any of the guests schedules. hahahaha

I got married on flag day! It was also the day before Father's day. Our fathers didn't have a problem with the day, so that's all that mattered to us.

huskypuppy14 · December 2014

There are so many freaking holidays, that's it's unreasonable to expect someone to avoid all holiday/holiday weekends. I think as long as it's not Christmas or Thanksgiving, I don't care. If I can't go, I can't go. It's not rude to have it on holiday, as long as your VIPs are fine with it.

Like I said above, I got married on Father's day weekend (and flag day). It was the day the worked for the best for us, our venue, and our VIPs. I don't think anyone didn't come to our wedding because it was that weekend.

I've been to a wedding on Mother's day, Memorial day weekend, Yom Kippur (these people were not Jewish though), St Patricks day weekend, none of these days bothered me.

holyguacamole79 · December 2014

We got married on Groundhog Day.

redheadbride15 · December 2014

I'm getting married on my mother's birthday. It was the best day our venue had available and I almost didn't book it because I was worried about the conflict. But then I called my mother and asked her what she thought and she was DELIGHTED! "This means I get to skip a birthday and be one year younger! Wonderful!"

Anyway, I don't mind weddings on holidays. Except maybe Christmas or Thanksgiving.

But the casual/formal thing is just... confusing and not well-thought-out.

charlieyankee03 · December 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

show previous quotes

Obsoleteforce said:

I'm getting married on Flag Day!! LOL Although I didn't know it was flag day until half-way through the planning. Hope it doesn't conflict with any of the guests schedules. hahahaha

I got married on flag day! It was also the day before Father's day. Our fathers didn't have a problem with the day, so that's all that mattered to us.

We're getting married on June 20th, which is the day before Father's Day in 2015. I didn't realize this until about a month ago. I also just found out it's my younger cousin's high school graduation day. He and his parents will be missed, but if we changed our date to work with everyone's schedule then we'd never get married.

I'd also have no problem attending a wedding on Valentine's Day. Unless it was the special snowflake wedding I attended this past Valentine's Day. Ceremony was in downtown Philly during a snowstorm, reception was SIX HOURS LATER in our hometown 30 minutes away. And that was just the beginning.

Fairyjen1 · December 2014

A wedding on Valentine's day would not bother me. We got married on Columbus day. We didn't realize that's what it was when we booked, it was just the date that worked for us. We did have a very small wedding, however. (under 20 guests)

adettma32 · December 2014

This made me check the national day calendar to see which "holiday" I may be interrupting with our July 25, 2015 wedding. Looks like we are getting married on national hot fudge day, national merry-go-round day, national culinarian's day, national threading the needle day (?), and national dance day. Can't complain about hot fudge and dancing! ;-)

http://nationaldaycalendar.com/calendar-at-a-glance/

wrigleyville · December 2014

We never do anything for V-day since we find it so ridiculous and commercialized, so I wouldn't mind going to a wedding. I like weddings.

Plus, if it were super cheesy with lots of V-day stuff - Cupids, hearts, red/pink decor, etc. - I'd get some entertainment out of it.

kmmssg · December 2014

Obsoleteforce said:

I'm getting married on Flag Day!! LOL Although I didn't know it was flag day until half-way through the planning. Hope it doesn't conflict with any of the guests schedules. hahahaha

My DD got married last Flag Day. But then again, what would you expect? I am retired Army, her husband is a Senior NCO in the Army....of COURSE they were married on the Army's birthday!!!

I am also friends with a dual Army couple whose son was born on Flag Day. They also took the "of COURSE he was born on the Army's birthday! What would you expect?" Have fun!

tcnoble · December 2014

Yeah to be clear I don't have a huge issue with it being on Valentines Day. It only struck me because friends of ours that were invited had spoken to the bride/groom who explicitly stated "isn't it sooo cute our wedding is on Valentines Day?!" No, I don't find it cuter than any other wedding on any other day.

The formal/casual note is what threw me off. I still don't get it.

ETA sadly we aren't attending due to finances so I can't inform you all what "Formal Attire. Casual Affair." really means.

badbnagdway · December 2014

I would be willing to attend a V-Day wedding. Reservations are hard to come by on V-Day and it's hard to decide what to do. There is something slightly ballsy about it though, like, it wouldn't bother me but some people do really go all out for V-Day. Plus, now your anniversary is on V-Day, so extra pressure every year.

I agree attire should be tuxedo shirts and mullets. A mullet is business in the front, party in the back.

MandyMost · December 2014

Valentine's Day is barely a holiday, so no issue there. It's much better than having a wedding over a 3-day weekend, in my opinion.

That Formal Attire/Casual Affair line is ridiculous. I can only imagine that these people don't understand that a formal affair doesn't mean a snooty, stuffy party. Which I interpret to mean that they are not very sophisticated, to be honest. Formal can still be a raging party. Or, as others have mentioned, it's going to be cash bar and cheap food and a bad DJ, and the people will just be dressed up...while waiting in line for crappy bathrooms.

So we got an invite in the mail...

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