Facebook Wedding Invitation

dcbride86 · November 2014

mrs4everhart said:

Saying one feels that paper invites are "proper" is just that, a feeling, an opinion. An invitation is nothing more than the act of asking another person to join you at a certain place, time, date for XYZ purpose. It's no more or no less an invitation if this information/request is conveyed digitally or on paper. And yes, it's certainly less expensive.

And, as a guest, once this information is conveyed, what do you do with the paper invitation? Unless it's your kid or your own invitation, you leave it on your counter for a while or maybe your coffee table, then when you're tired of moving it around or using it as a coaster, you add it to a landfill.

I'll be honest - I gave in to the wedding industrial complex where invites were concerned. We wasted several hundred dollars on a pretty invitation suite and postage. And I know everyone except our Moms and DH's Grandma have long since tossed them in the trash. Total waste of money and just generated more trash.

I truly believe coming generations, with their tendency to think more about the environment than past generations, will likely move away from a tradition that in all reality really is wasteful and unnecessary, even more so than people currently are.

Companies like E-vite, et al, are growing rapidly for good reason.

I agree with you, that it is an opinion, but I also feel that emails contain a certain amount of informality that can't really be taken away. Maybe I just haven't seen a formal email invitation, but that's how I view them. I think that things like wedding invitations and thank you notes should be sent in the mail because they convey both formality and a personal touch that I just feel an email lacks. But again, that's just me.

I also think invites can be sent on recycled paper or somethng to make them more environmentally friendly, but I do realize that sending them online is far more environmentally friendly than any kind of mail.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

dcbride86 said:

mrs4everhart said:

Saying one feels that paper invites are "proper" is just that, a feeling, an opinion. An invitation is nothing more than the act of asking another person to join you at a certain place, time, date for XYZ purpose. It's no more or no less an invitation if this information/request is conveyed digitally or on paper. And yes, it's certainly less expensive.

And, as a guest, once this information is conveyed, what do you do with the paper invitation? Unless it's your kid or your own invitation, you leave it on your counter for a while or maybe your coffee table, then when you're tired of moving it around or using it as a coaster, you add it to a landfill.

I'll be honest - I gave in to the wedding industrial complex where invites were concerned. We wasted several hundred dollars on a pretty invitation suite and postage. And I know everyone except our Moms and DH's Grandma have long since tossed them in the trash. Total waste of money and just generated more trash.

I truly believe coming generations, with their tendency to think more about the environment than past generations, will likely move away from a tradition that in all reality really is wasteful and unnecessary, even more so than people currently are.

Companies like E-vite, et al, are growing rapidly for good reason.

I agree with you, that it is an opinion, but I also feel that emails contain a certain amount of informality that can't really be taken away. Maybe I just haven't seen a formal email invitation, but that's how I view them. I think that things like wedding invitations and thank you notes should be sent in the mail because they convey both formality and a personal touch that I just feel an email lacks. But again, that's just me.

I also think invites can be sent on recycled paper or somethng to make them more environmentally friendly, but I do realize that sending them online is far more environmentally friendly than any kind of mail.

What about paper that contains seeds? So after you're done with it, you can bury it in the ground and a flower grows.

novella1186 · November 2014

scribe95 said:

Actually she didn't say light appetizers would be served. She said "some food," which still frankly could mean anything. That remains to be seen. Sometimes I just think people want to judge just to be judgey.

Well duh! I once got called skinny and fat on the same day. Just keep being the voice of reason. (Not being sarcastic with that, I think you make some good points)

txbandwife · November 2014

ShesSoCold said:

txbandwife said:

Wow, it's interesting to read the responses above.

I've sent paper invites to close family and friends that are likely to come to our destination wedding.

Being military, I have friends all over the world who would wish me well, today I am putting together a social media invite/announcement just to let people know and give them the option to come if desired. Since we're doing a destination wedding at Christmastime, it's likely to be a small crowd (though the reception can easily be expanded if needed). We're not registered, so I don't think people will interpret as a veiled request for gifts.

To OP it really depends on the culture - at my last duty station I hung out with a significantly younger crowd and they used facebook event invites for EVERYTHING (even weddings). It irritated me at first, but eventually I saw how much easier it was to plan things. Now that I'm back to dealing with folks who some don't even text, I miss the ease of online planning.

How many people is this? Are you able to host if they all come?

It's a fair amount and, yes, I can afford to host if they come. And, while I doubt they would, if they spent the money to fly out there at Christmastime then the least I could do is feed them. We are feeding people reception dinner and bon voyage brunch two days later when we actually take off.

OP, sorry for the threadjack... are you still there?

OnionBreath · December 2014

An update: we were "uninvited" to this today.

We were "maybes" until Sunday when we changed it to accepting, because we hadn't made a decision and the RSVP date was yesterday.

They told us we changed our minds too late, that all of the "slots" were filled.

Now, what I really wonder is how many people that said "yes" in November, are actually going to go.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

While I find it tacky, I don't think I would decline strictly for the sheer fact they sent the invite on Facebook. However, it would make me think that I was B-List after finding out that paper invitations were sent and the close proximity of receiving the invite to the to actual ceremony date.

I see your update and think you might have dodged a bullet. They should have been prepared to host everyone they invited.

MadHops21 · December 2014

Damn! I wanted you to go and report. I would go because a wedding is a wedding and I've only been to 2. Free food and alcohol and dancing is enough for me. I'm easy like that.

mikenberger · December 2014

OnionBreath said:
An update: we were "uninvited" to this today.

We were "maybes" until Sunday when we changed it to accepting, because we hadn't made a decision and the RSVP date was yesterday.

They told us we changed our minds too late, that all of the "slots" were filled.

Now, what I really wonder is how many people that said "yes" in November, are actually going to go.

"Slots were filled'... Yup. That'd be b-listing. Sorry

that's no fun.

fwtx5815 · December 2014

OnionBreath said:
An update: we were "uninvited" to this today.

We were "maybes" until Sunday when we changed it to accepting, because we hadn't made a decision and the RSVP date was yesterday.

They told us we changed our minds too late, that all of the "slots" were filled.

Now, what I really wonder is how many people that said "yes" in November, are actually going to go.

After reading the other PPs comments I tried to reserve judgment about this couple/their level of hosting, but fuck if this doesn't sound more like a college mixer

OnionBreath · December 2014

I am no longer questioning my original judgement.

U can definitely judge me for secretly hoping no one shows up.

indianaalum · December 2014

OnionBreath said:

I facebook messaged her and asked if my fiane was invited and she said 'Of course, the more the merrier!". I asked if there was a meal, or if we should eat before. She said there will be "some" food, and 'light" alcohol.

So I'm guessing appetizers and spiked punch maybe.

I found out from one of her bridesmaids that there WERE paper invites sent to people who don't have facebook and a few others to save money. I don't think I was blisted I just think think this is bizarre. How willthey plan food?

My mom asked me if I would get this person a gift if I wasn't attneding the wendding. I said no.

She said that I shouldn't go then. I don't really get that logic or what gift giving has to do with it.

I think we might just go and leave if we get hungry or if it's no fun. I wonder how many people are thinking about it like I am that were invited.

I actually kinda get her logic. If it is someone you are close to, you would want to give a gift no matter what because they mean that much to you..a best friend , for example. One of my best friends couldnt attend my wedding because her brother was getting married. She sent a giftt. Did she have to? No, of course not, but she wanted to make sure I knew how much she cared since she could not be there.

If you don't automatically think that way and/ or "dread wasting money on a gift for the wedding (barring any financial crisis, of course) ", then perhaps they aren't that close to you...if you aren't too close to the person, why bother going to their wedding if you think it will be a shit storm.

Make sense?

OnionBreath · December 2014

indianaalum said:

OnionBreath said:

I facebook messaged her and asked if my fiane was invited and she said 'Of course, the more the merrier!". I asked if there was a meal, or if we should eat before. She said there will be "some" food, and 'light" alcohol.

So I'm guessing appetizers and spiked punch maybe.

I found out from one of her bridesmaids that there WERE paper invites sent to people who don't have facebook and a few others to save money. I don't think I was blisted I just think think this is bizarre. How willthey plan food?

My mom asked me if I would get this person a gift if I wasn't attneding the wendding. I said no.

She said that I shouldn't go then. I don't really get that logic or what gift giving has to do with it.

I think we might just go and leave if we get hungry or if it's no fun. I wonder how many people are thinking about it like I am that were invited.

I actually kinda get her logic. If it is someone you are close to, you would want to give a gift no matter what because they mean that much to you..a best friend , for example. One of my best friends couldnt attend my wedding because her brother was getting married. She sent a giftt. Did she have to? No, of course not, but she wanted to make sure I knew how much she cared since she could not be there.

If you don't automatically think that way and/ or "dread wasting money on a gift for the wedding (barring any financial crisis, of course) ", then perhaps they aren't that close to you...if you aren't too close to the person, why bother going to their wedding if you think it will be a shit storm.

Make sense?

Not really. I don't dread "wasting"money on getting these people a gift. I don't see where you got that idea from. It simply would not have occurred to me to get them one if I was not invited to the wedding.

That doesn't mean we don't enjoy their company enough to enjoy being part of their wedding day and bring a gift as is customary.

In light of everything that's happened, they definitely aren't getting a gift though.

hyechica81 · December 2014

tacky tacky tacky. we sent out invites in the mail hand addressed all of them our church ceremony was at 5:00 it ended at 615 ish our reception started at 7 we put reception to follow we also did a plated sitdown dinner so our guest had a choice of 3 meat options and one veg option

slothiegal · December 2014

hyechica81 said:
tacky tacky tacky. we sent out invites in the mail hand addressed all of them our church ceremony was at 5:00 it ended at 615 ish our reception started at 7 we put reception to follow we also did a plated sitdown dinner so our guest had a choice of 3 meat options and one veg option

Is there a reason you never use capitalization or punctuation? It makes my head throb.

Viczaesar · December 2014

slothiegal said:

tacky tacky tacky. we sent out invites in the mail hand addressed all of them our church ceremony was at 5:00 it ended at 615 ish our reception started at 7 we put reception to follow we also did a plated sitdown dinner so our guest had a choice of 3 meat options and one veg option
Is there a reason you never use capitalization or punctuation? It makes my head throb.

Sadly, she never responds to questions or comments about this either. But I feel your pain.

MadHops21 · December 2014

Viczaesar said:

slothiegal said:

tacky tacky tacky. we sent out invites in the mail hand addressed all of them our church ceremony was at 5:00 it ended at 615 ish our reception started at 7 we put reception to follow we also did a plated sitdown dinner so our guest had a choice of 3 meat options and one veg option
Is there a reason you never use capitalization or punctuation? It makes my head throb.

Sadly, she never responds to questions or comments about this either. But I feel your pain.

I've always wondered this about that account. It's painful to read.

SP29 · December 2014

I think a FB invite to a wedding is tacky, but I wouldn't decline just because of that.

However, because of how casual the invite was, I would have no issue asking, "Hey, is my husband invited? Is there going to be a meal?" etc.

I also very much believe the invitation dictates the formality of the event, so if someone is sending me a FB invite then I'm assuming a backyard wedding or something at a family members house- which is cool! Just saying that I think there is a reason why weddings (at least if they are more formal) should have a paper invitation.

My other qualm with the FB invite is the lack of information. On our invites we had listed "Cocktails at 4pm and dinner to follow" (or something like that). Which isn't required, but I think information like that helps.

As for saving trees, there are many sites where you can send e-vites that would be more formal and more informative and I think would be much better than FB.

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