Wedding Etiquette Forum

Table runners

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Re: Table runners

  • It all started when we went dress shopping. I started trying on dresses, and of course, a few of them liked and the others disliked. Typical. I tried not to let their opinions decipher which dress I would choose. Once I found the dress (which happened the same day.. lucked out!) I had the maids try on their dresses. They were allowed to pick from eight, yes, EIGHT different styles and immediately they all started bitching "I HATE THIS DRESS" "THESE ARE ALL UGLY" "I LOOK TERRIBLE IN THIS". My head started spinning, with a smile on my face of course. After about 10 minutes of hell, most of them "settled" for some (poor things) and one of my maids was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed. I said "why aren't you trying on dresses?" she said "They're all ugly. you pick for me." Umm…. O FUCKING KAY. Did I get the most self centered bridesmaids in the world, or are they all like this? holy crap man! 

    Yet, here I am, planning a wedding while also participating in a friends wedding in march, where I had to buy a dress that is, lightly put, not particularly flattering and a pair of $150 cowgirl boots. Did I complain? F NO. Because that isn't my wedding! IT IS HERS.


    rant over. 
    You should change your user name. 



  • It all started when we went dress shopping. I started trying on dresses, and of course, a few of them liked and the others disliked. Typical. I tried not to let their opinions decipher which dress I would choose. Once I found the dress (which happened the same day.. lucked out!) I had the maids try on their dresses. They were allowed to pick from eight, yes, EIGHT different styles and immediately they all started bitching "I HATE THIS DRESS" "THESE ARE ALL UGLY" "I LOOK TERRIBLE IN THIS". My head started spinning, with a smile on my face of course. After about 10 minutes of hell, most of them "settled" for some (poor things) and one of my maids was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed. I said "why aren't you trying on dresses?" she said "They're all ugly. you pick for me." Umm…. O FUCKING KAY. Did I get the most self centered bridesmaids in the world, or are they all like this? holy crap man! 


    Yet, here I am, planning a wedding while also participating in a friends wedding in march, where I had to buy a dress that is, lightly put, not particularly flattering and a pair of $150 cowgirl boots. Did I complain? F NO. Because that isn't my wedding! IT IS HERS.


    rant over. 
    Hell no to buying cowboy boots. Hell to the no. We've all got bridesmaid dress horror stories. It's all the fun of being a bridesmaid. As long as you're shopping in their budget (you did ask, right?" They can't really do much complaining outside of moral objections (IE: "my titty is gonna fall out! Jesus won't like that!").

    Have fun! Mine were the same way and I paid for the dresses.

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  • My ladies are radically different in build. I said pick a color that goes with blush. They opted for navy. I said pick anything short, chiffon or floaty is my vote to fit wedding, but their call. They all found chiffon knee length dresses in navy. I said yay! Then paid for dresses.

    Are they wearing different dresses? That's the only way it worked for me.
  • Did you ask them their budget?  Did you ask what they were interested in?

    Yes, this is your day, but have a little respect for the feelings of your bridesmaids.  Clearly the majority are not happy.  
  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Well they could have been more tactful about it! What kind of dresses did you pick out that nobody could find a decent one out of 8???? Can you show us some pictures?

    I also think that you should not expect them to be gushing over the dresses either. Bridesmaid dresses usually aren't that interesting, they are usually kinda plain and not really that exciting. I have been a bridesmaid 4 times and I have never really LOVED the dress, even when I pick it out. They are just kinda boring.

    Obviously you need to give the girls some sort of guidance if you care what they wear, but in the end they are purchasing and wearing the dresses. Don't you want them to be happy with how they look?

    For example, I hate all things strapless. I have huge tits and I really don't want to deal with them. One of the weddings I was in demanded strapless for all girls, and I never had a worst night. I felt horrible in my dress. I tried not to let it put a damper on the day, because I didn't want to make the bride sad. I think she noticed how unhappy a couple of us were. I wish I had spoken up about hating strapless, but I didn't to upset the bride. I would have done it with more tact, though. 


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  • Is there a way to change a username without creating a whole new account?
  • I'm dying to see pictures of these 8 hideous dresses...so please share!

    @mikenberger -- All 4 of my bridesmaids are rather large on top and your comment above made me think of this.. While shopping for dresses for my wedding we started using the term "Jesus-approved cleavage".  It stuck.

  • levioosa said:
    After seeing your other post I think their attitude might be reflecting yours. Or maybe you are all selfish and bratty and sticking together.  Birds of a feather, and all that.  Who knows?

    Did you ask them for a budget first?  Are you asking for a dress over budget?  Is the dress actually ugly?  Just some things to think about.  
    This was my initial thought too. 

    Maybe just give the bridesmiads a color palette and then let them pick their own dress. Or get drunk so you can have more fun. 
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  • Did you ask your BMs their budget before having them try on and pick a dress?


    It all started when we went dress shopping. I started trying on dresses, and of course, a few of them liked and the others disliked. Typical. I tried not to let their opinions decipher which dress I would choose. Once I found the dress (which happened the same day.. lucked out!) I had the maids try on their dresses. They were allowed to pick from eight, yes, EIGHT different styles and immediately they all started bitching "I HATE THIS DRESS" "THESE ARE ALL UGLY" "I LOOK TERRIBLE IN THIS". My head started spinning, with a smile on my face of course. After about 10 minutes of hell, most of them "settled" for some (poor things) and one of my maids was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed. I said "why aren't you trying on dresses?" she said "They're all ugly. you pick for me." Umm…. O FUCKING KAY. Did I get the most self centered bridesmaids in the world, or are they all like this? holy crap man! 

    Yet, here I am, planning a wedding while also participating in a friends wedding in march, where I had to buy a dress that is, lightly put, not particularly flattering and a pair of $150 cowgirl boots. Did I complain? F NO. Because that isn't my wedding! IT IS HERS.


    rant over. 
    And I don't really get why you needed to add the bolded.  So your BMs didn't all agree, oh the fuck well.  Unless they all dress exactly the same then them having differing opinions about your dress is pretty normal.

    And to the last bolded.  Just because it is X's wedding does not mean that you have to spend money you are not comfortable with.  Same goes for your wedding.  Just because it is your wedding does not mean that your BMs have to shut up, buy a dress that they hate and possibly out of their price range just because it is YOUR day.  These are supposed to be your nearest and dearest so start treating them like they are.

  • I need to see these dresses.
    Me too.  If every girl hated each of the 8 dresses I now need to see what theses dresses look like.

  • I also vote to see these dresses.
  • I would agree the BMs should have shown more tact and the one sitting there with her arms crossed sounds immature.
    No, not all BM groups are like that. 

    I recently went shopping for dresses and there are 7 maids. The bride was open to having two different types. All of us tried on three or four and stood around and commented on what was flattering on each other. If something didn't look good, we either didn't say anything at all or just said, "No, this doesn't look right on me."
    We actually all agreed on two different dresses and were ready to buy, yet we haven't purchased them because the bride really wants strapless. Not one of us wants strapless. We'll see how this turns out. 

    By the way your post reads, it seems they tried on dresses after you tried on dresses. Is that right? That sounds like a very long and stressful day. I might attribute the bitchiness to low blood sugar. 
    ________________________________


  •  
    1st, I'd never, ever, ever in a million years even for my sister or best friend buy cowboy boots.  I hate them and I'd never wear them again, so no way in hell I'd buy them for a wedding.  I don't care who the bride is.  That's great that you chose to do it, but don't expect other people to happily waste money on attire that they don't like.

    Here's a thought- why not give your bridal party a color or color scheme and a dress length and let them choose any dress that fits those criteria?  That way they can find a dress they suits their body type, style and taste, and they will actually like the dress they are buying.

    I had 10 BMs in my wedding.  They were all different heights and sizes, and they all had very different stylistic tastes.  There is no way in hell I could have picked a single dress that would be flattering on each one, and though htey would have grinned and beared it, I love my friends and family and I didn't want them to be stuck wearing a dress they felt terrible in.

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    I know the pic is small, but you can get the gist of it.  I think everyone looked great!

    I love that!

    OP, why don't you just give them a specific colour and style and they can choose their own dresses? Did you check that the dress choices were within their budgets? If not, maybe there's another reason they don't like the dresses.

    Also, if your username is your real first and last name, you should probably change it for privacy/safety.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • I have another idea as to why your BMs were so bitchy and irritable.  Maybe they were bored because you didn't supply them any alcohol at this appointment.  I mean, apparently if a wedding is BO-RING without alcohol then obviously anything wedding related would be BO-RING as well.
    Most of the bridal shops in my town forbid food and drink on the premises.  I guess they don't want you to spill something on a gown and ruin it?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited January 2015
    I have another idea as to why your BMs were so bitchy and irritable.  Maybe they were bored because you didn't supply them any alcohol at this appointment.  I mean, apparently if a wedding is BO-RING without alcohol then obviously anything wedding related would be BO-RING as well.
    Most of the bridal shops in my town forbid food and drink on the premises.  I guess they don't want you to spill something on a gown and ruin it?
    I have been to a few that have had wine/champagne but no food which could lead to some interesting appointments.

    But my post was in reference to something else OP has said, which makes me realize that I think she and her BMs are just snotty.

  • Maybe the alcohol plus no food is to get you to buy extras when you have the happy buzz on.
  • Wedding=BO-RING and alcohol is required

    Bridesmaid Dress Shopping=Time of your life

    Sarcasm.  Obviously.

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  • Maybe the alcohol plus no food is to get you to buy extras when you have the happy buzz on.
    This is an excellent point!  And probably 100% true.

  • It all started when we went dress shopping. I started trying on dresses, and of course, a few of them liked and the others disliked. Typical. I tried not to let their opinions decipher which dress I would choose. Once I found the dress (which happened the same day.. lucked out!) I had the maids try on their dresses. They were allowed to pick from eight, sooo did they have any input on these 8 dresses they were "allowed" to choose from?yes, EIGHT different styles and immediately they all started bitching "I HATE THIS DRESS" "THESE ARE ALL UGLY" "I LOOK TERRIBLE IN THIS". My head started spinning, with a smile on my face of course. After about 10 minutes of hell, most of them "settled" for some (poor things) That is a bitchy, condescending thing to say and one of my maids was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed. I said "why aren't you trying on dresses?" she said "They're all ugly. you pick for me." Umm…. O FUCKING KAY. Did I get the most self centered bridesmaids in the world, or are they all like this? holy crap man! After reading your response on the dry wedding thread, I am wondering if they didn't get the most self centered bride in the world.

    Yet, here I am, planning a wedding while also participating in a friends wedding in march, where I had to buy a dress that is, lightly put, not particularly flattering and a pair of $150 cowgirl boots.  This is where you should have had the backbone to say "hell no" to the boots.  Just because someone is getting married doesn't mean she gets to ride rough shod over her bridemaids budget and opinions. Did I complain? F NO.  this was your mistake, and one your bridesmaids didn't choose to make. Because that isn't my wedding! IT IS HERS.


    rant over. Based on your attitude about dry weddings and that you have the most self centered friends ever, I'll bet this isn't your last rant.
    Something to think about here:  If you are wearing something you really hate and you don't feel attractive and well put together, it shows on your face and when someone takes your pictures.  It isn't because you intentionally decided to look like a grump in the picture. it is because you are very self conscious and feel ugly.  Now.....think about these 8 dresses your girls hate and how your pics are going to turn out.

    Did you seriously pick out 8 dresses without their input?  If so, that was a big mistake.  Don't be like your bridezilla friend with her cowgirl boots.  The minute you got those reactions from your girls you should have backed the truck up.

    Now, I know that a BM's only responsibilities is to show up sober, in the correct dress, and smile for pictures - but if you feel ugly, it is gonna show.  And....if you have to shell out some decent money for a dress you are never going to wear again, at least you should like it the one time you  have to wear it.

    Have you seen the Progresso soup commercial where the BM is asked if she loves her dress and she is wearing something hideous?  Her response is "I love my sister?????"  Think about that.
  • I have another idea as to why your BMs were so bitchy and irritable.  Maybe they were bored because you didn't supply them any alcohol at this appointment.  I mean, apparently if a wedding is BO-RING without alcohol then obviously anything wedding related would be BO-RING as well.
    I came over here to post this same thing. You did it and now I don't have to! 
  • They probably don't want to be there in the first place, OP.  The least you can do is not pick ugly dresses...

    Glad you got the liquor covered though!

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  • Is this our first Snowflake in the impending Christmas engagement blizzard?
    She has everything planned out, according to her website. So it appears not quite yet.
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