Table runners

novella1186 · January 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

badbnagdway said:

I will say this, it is annoying when the BMs only care about what they will be wearing. That is kind of lame. But at the same time, a bride should love her BMs enough to want them to feel happy and pretty.

When we first shopped for BM dresses for my sister's wedding we divided and conquered, each of us trying on the size closest to our own, even though she was the bride and obviously wouldn't be wearing the dress. You would be amazed by how terrible almost every single BM dress looked on my beautiful size 4 sister, whereas about 50% of them looked pretty good on my size 10/12 body. She ended up deciding that with all the body shapes she just would let us pick anything in a certain color, fabric and length from one designer. Out of 10 styles, NOT A SINGLE ONE LOOKED GOOD ON ME. We are not talking a crazy sock monkey style dress, we are talking very basic dresses that for some reason just hit me all the wrong places. I picked the least unflattering one, but my sister said no, and put me in a dress that was still the same color as the other girls but a different fabric and length. It was very flattering and I was very grateful that I got to look nice for her wedding. I am just allowing my girls to pick any purple dress they want. One of them even has a purple dress already.

You just contradicted yourself with the rest of your post.

I don't think it's annoying or lame to care that I look shitty in an overpriced dress that I have to buy and then stand up in front of a ton of people wearing, and then be in a ton of photos in.

It's not like we choose to wear shit we know we look terrible in the rest of the time we go out in public. We don't let our our friends and family dress us the rest of the time we go out, so why does it need to be any different when we are in a wedding?

I don't know when it became the "norm" for brides to pick the attire of their BMs, but I think it's time to change that "norm."

about 200 years ago, when bridesmaids dressed identical to the bride due to superstitious beliefs which, over time, morphed into bridesmaids only dressing identical to each other. So clearly it's time for that tradition to keep changing. It's outdated, superstitious, and silly to insist on bridesmaids wearing the exact same thing, IMO. (Here's a brief explanation via bride.com, although I've read the same general thing from several sources):

Tradition: Having Bridesmaids

While they're invaluable for moral support, throwing awesome bachelorette parties, and helping you get in and out of your dress, bridesmaids used to have a far more serious role in the wedding: protecting the bride from evil spirits. Bridesmaids were originally directed to dress just like the bride, and this, says Blank, was "intended to confuse evil spirits or those who wished to harm the bride." (No matter how much you love them, or how many demons they saved you from, could you imagine taking your bridesmaids along on your very private, very intimate honeymoon? Nineteenth century couples did just that, according to historian Ginger Strand, taking along their whole wedding party on a "bridal tour"!)

levioosa · January 2015

lilacck28 said:

levioosa said:

@velvethelicopters , but as a bridesmaid dress? Lol.

To me, OP's dresses aren't terrible, although I might not look the best in them personally, they're better than the dress that one poster "dared us to defy," that one time. There could definitely be worse options. I really hope OP asked for her girls budget first and is sticking to it, and that she didn't announce it to the whole group at once. I'm not really holding my breath on that one though.

Ditto PPs who have suggested that it might be easier to let the BMs pick their own dress in the right color, length and fabric.

REFRESHER PLEASE! I would love to see / hear about this dare defying paragon!

ETA:
to the OP: I don't love those dresses, mostly because I don't like satin (it shows all the bumps, and I think its hard to find a satin dress that looks elegant/ expensive.) But I'd deal with them if they were within my budget.

That said, picking dresses with bridesmaids IS often difficult. I found it difficult, and I told all my bridesmaids to pick whatever navy short dress they wanted that wasn't satin (two ended up already owning the same one, so then I had to find an as close to matching as possible dress for the third because she wanted to match to begin with.)

But you should remember to put your friendships first, despite the stress of the whole thing. If they will be miserable in these dresses, then have a do over. Tell them they're your ladies, you love them and want them to be happy, and you're willing to find something else.

I don't think I can link without breaking TOS, but it was a shitshow thread about a page back that was about asking someone to be a bridesmaid versus asking them to be a reader. This is the dress the poster dared us to defy.

Not a bad dress, but definitely not for everyone.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

levioosa said:

lilacck28 said:

levioosa said:

@velvethelicopters , but as a bridesmaid dress? Lol.

To me, OP's dresses aren't terrible, although I might not look the best in them personally, they're better than the dress that one poster "dared us to defy," that one time. There could definitely be worse options. I really hope OP asked for her girls budget first and is sticking to it, and that she didn't announce it to the whole group at once. I'm not really holding my breath on that one though.

Ditto PPs who have suggested that it might be easier to let the BMs pick their own dress in the right color, length and fabric.

REFRESHER PLEASE! I would love to see / hear about this dare defying paragon!

ETA:
to the OP: I don't love those dresses, mostly because I don't like satin (it shows all the bumps, and I think its hard to find a satin dress that looks elegant/ expensive.) But I'd deal with them if they were within my budget.

That said, picking dresses with bridesmaids IS often difficult. I found it difficult, and I told all my bridesmaids to pick whatever navy short dress they wanted that wasn't satin (two ended up already owning the same one, so then I had to find an as close to matching as possible dress for the third because she wanted to match to begin with.)

But you should remember to put your friendships first, despite the stress of the whole thing. If they will be miserable in these dresses, then have a do over. Tell them they're your ladies, you love them and want them to be happy, and you're willing to find something else.

I don't think I can link without breaking TOS, but it was a shitshow thread about a page back that was about asking someone to be a bridesmaid versus asking them to be a reader. This is the dress the poster dared us to defy.

Not a bad dress, but definitely not for everyone.

Yeah, that dress looks good on the model and anyone with model-like proportions. If you have huge boobs, a tummy, a big ass, flabby arms- no way. It's too clingy and has no support.

badbnagdway · January 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

badbnagdway said:

I will say this, it is annoying when the BMs only care about what they will be wearing. That is kind of lame. But at the same time, a bride should love her BMs enough to want them to feel happy and pretty.

When we first shopped for BM dresses for my sister's wedding we divided and conquered, each of us trying on the size closest to our own, even though she was the bride and obviously wouldn't be wearing the dress. You would be amazed by how terrible almost every single BM dress looked on my beautiful size 4 sister, whereas about 50% of them looked pretty good on my size 10/12 body. She ended up deciding that with all the body shapes she just would let us pick anything in a certain color, fabric and length from one designer. Out of 10 styles, NOT A SINGLE ONE LOOKED GOOD ON ME. We are not talking a crazy sock monkey style dress, we are talking very basic dresses that for some reason just hit me all the wrong places. I picked the least unflattering one, but my sister said no, and put me in a dress that was still the same color as the other girls but a different fabric and length. It was very flattering and I was very grateful that I got to look nice for her wedding. I am just allowing my girls to pick any purple dress they want. One of them even has a purple dress already.

You just contradicted yourself with the rest of your post.

I don't think it's annoying or lame to care that I look shitty in an overpriced dress that I have to buy and then stand up in front of a ton of people wearing, and then be in a ton of photos in.

It's not like we choose to wear shit we know we look terrible in the rest of the time we go out in public. We don't let our our friends and family dress us the rest of the time we go out, so why does it need to be any different when we are in a wedding?

I don't know when it became the "norm" for brides to pick the attire of their BMs, but I think it's time to change that "norm."

That first sentence was a caveat to the rest of what I said, maybe that wasn't clear. I was not trying to indicate that people should not care what they wear at all. The thing that came to mind was a story a fellow bride told me. She was trying on bridal gowns with a couple of bridesmaids, mom and grandmother. This was the first and only shop for her, so what happened was not bridal gown trial exhaustion.

Rather than paying any attention to the bride, two of the bridesmaids started shopping for bridesmaids dresses and trying them on. The bride basically got ignored for the rest of her appointment and was very upset about it after the fact. The bride's mom and grandmother got dragged aside by the bms to look at bm dresses. This bride had the problem of, the only thing the bridesmaids cared about, at all, was what they themselves would be wearing. I thought that was pretty rude of the bms. They also apparently harassed her daily over several months over bm dress choice, even though she just said, pick anything in x color and have it be about knee length.

Brides should absolutely take their bms comfort into account, but a good bm should communicate budget and comfort like an adult and not cause extreme anxiety to the bride over the choices either.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

I went back and read that thread. Utter insanity.

Also, that dress? Looks great on the model but me with huge boobs and flabby arms? NOPE.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

badbnagdway said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

badbnagdway said:

I will say this, it is annoying when the BMs only care about what they will be wearing. That is kind of lame. But at the same time, a bride should love her BMs enough to want them to feel happy and pretty.

When we first shopped for BM dresses for my sister's wedding we divided and conquered, each of us trying on the size closest to our own, even though she was the bride and obviously wouldn't be wearing the dress. You would be amazed by how terrible almost every single BM dress looked on my beautiful size 4 sister, whereas about 50% of them looked pretty good on my size 10/12 body. She ended up deciding that with all the body shapes she just would let us pick anything in a certain color, fabric and length from one designer. Out of 10 styles, NOT A SINGLE ONE LOOKED GOOD ON ME. We are not talking a crazy sock monkey style dress, we are talking very basic dresses that for some reason just hit me all the wrong places. I picked the least unflattering one, but my sister said no, and put me in a dress that was still the same color as the other girls but a different fabric and length. It was very flattering and I was very grateful that I got to look nice for her wedding. I am just allowing my girls to pick any purple dress they want. One of them even has a purple dress already.

You just contradicted yourself with the rest of your post.

I don't think it's annoying or lame to care that I look shitty in an overpriced dress that I have to buy and then stand up in front of a ton of people wearing, and then be in a ton of photos in.

It's not like we choose to wear shit we know we look terrible in the rest of the time we go out in public. We don't let our our friends and family dress us the rest of the time we go out, so why does it need to be any different when we are in a wedding?

I don't know when it became the "norm" for brides to pick the attire of their BMs, but I think it's time to change that "norm."

That first sentence was a caveat to the rest of what I said, maybe that wasn't clear. I was not trying to indicate that people should not care what they wear at all. The thing that came to mind was a story a fellow bride told me. She was trying on bridal gowns with a couple of bridesmaids, mom and grandmother. This was the first and only shop for her, so what happened was not bridal gown trial exhaustion.

Rather than paying any attention to the bride, two of the bridesmaids started shopping for bridesmaids dresses and trying them on. The bride basically got ignored for the rest of her appointment and was very upset about it after the fact. The bride's mom and grandmother got dragged aside by the bms to look at bm dresses. This bride had the problem of, the only thing the bridesmaids cared about, at all, was what they themselves would be wearing. I thought that was pretty rude of the bms. They also apparently harassed her daily over several months over bm dress choice, even though she just said, pick anything in x color and have it be about knee length.

Brides should absolutely take their bms comfort into account, but a good bm should communicate budget and comfort like an adult and not cause extreme anxiety to the bride over the choices either.

Ah, gotcha. Ok, makes more sense now!

climbingsingle · January 2015

I don't think I can link without breaking TOS, but it was a shitshow thread about a page back that was about asking someone to be a bridesmaid versus asking them to be a reader. This is the dress the poster dared us to defy.

Not a bad dress, but definitely not for everyone.

Where do my boobs go in this dress? Out the sides?

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

climbingwife said:

I don't think I can link without breaking TOS, but it was a shitshow thread about a page back that was about asking someone to be a bridesmaid versus asking them to be a reader. This is the dress the poster dared us to defy.

Not a bad dress, but definitely not for everyone.

Where do my boobs go in this dress? Out the sides?

Mine would be hanging out near my belly button since I'd have to go without a bra...

lilacck28 · January 2015

oh em gee I can not wait to read that thread now....

yogadevil · January 2015

OP how many bridesmaids do you have? Ive found that any negativity (whether from the BM's or the bride herself) catches like wildfire the larger the wedding party is.

Ive been in 8 weddings, and they are equally split between fun experiences and downright nightmares. Dress shopping for BM dresses is NEVER a joyful experience. Neither is being forced to pay for a dress you wouldn't pick on your own. Yes, its done out of love and friendship for the bride, but I ended up with a closet full of dresses that the bride swore up and down that we'd be able to wear again. Yikes. And my body is super easy to fit! Its all culminated to now, where I refuse to subject my friends to being a bridesmaid now matter how much they love me and say they're ok with it.

I agree with the do-over idea, maybe sit down with just a couple of the bridesmaids, apologize for everything not going as smoothly as you would've hoped, and ask if they have suggestions how to move forward. I kind of liked the dresses you chose, however those dresses are for specific body types and would be super uncomfy if they didn't fit right.

amelisha · January 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

climbingwife said:

I don't think I can link without breaking TOS, but it was a shitshow thread about a page back that was about asking someone to be a bridesmaid versus asking them to be a reader. This is the dress the poster dared us to defy.

Not a bad dress, but definitely not for everyone.

Where do my boobs go in this dress? Out the sides?

Mine would be hanging out near my belly button since I'd have to go without a bra...

Mine would try to make a break for it out the hole in the middle! So many options here, people.

Jessie42613 · January 2015

Going back a little bit here, but I can't get into that cotton/sateen fabric that OP picked. Has no one noticed that you turn into a wrinkled mess after sitting down for 30 seconds? Blech. Give me a chiffon or a jersey any day over that ish.

novella1186 · January 2015

Jessie42613 said:

Going back a little bit here, but I can't get into that cotton/sateen fabric that OP picked. Has no one noticed that you turn into a wrinkled mess after sitting down for 30 seconds? Blech. Give me a chiffon or a jersey any day over that ish.

My thoughts exactly. Total mess. And wrinkles are not cute no matter how great your body is.

velvethelicopters · January 2015

Jessie42613 said:
Going back a little bit here, but I can't get into that cotton/sateen fabric that OP picked. Has no one noticed that you turn into a wrinkled mess after sitting down for 30 seconds? Blech. Give me a chiffon or a jersey any day over that ish.

It's silk per OP. But yup, the fabric looks like the same as what I've stuffed my ass in for friends, and end the night a wrinkled mess.

redoryx · January 2015

OMG I actually wore the second of the OP's dresses in that color (or one very similiar) in a wedding. LOLOL

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

velvethelicopters said:

Jessie42613 said:
Going back a little bit here, but I can't get into that cotton/sateen fabric that OP picked. Has no one noticed that you turn into a wrinkled mess after sitting down for 30 seconds? Blech. Give me a chiffon or a jersey any day over that ish.
It's silk per OP. But yup, the fabric looks like the same as what I've stuffed my ass in for friends, and end the night a wrinkled mess.

Its silk and its $75? Yea I don't think so. Unless its super crappy quality and low grade silk.

velvethelicopters · January 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

velvethelicopters said:

Jessie42613 said:
Going back a little bit here, but I can't get into that cotton/sateen fabric that OP picked. Has no one noticed that you turn into a wrinkled mess after sitting down for 30 seconds? Blech. Give me a chiffon or a jersey any day over that ish.
It's silk per OP. But yup, the fabric looks like the same as what I've stuffed my ass in for friends, and end the night a wrinkled mess.
Its silk and its $75? Yea I don't think so. Unless its super crappy quality and low grade silk.

Hey, OP said silk. Maybe she'd been drinking already so dress shopping wasn't BO-RING! I stand by my vote it's typical cheap bridal fabric that will wrinkle like sin.

snarkymaid · January 2015

southernbelle0915 said:

Going back a little bit here, but I can't get into that cotton/sateen fabric that OP picked. Has no one noticed that you turn into a wrinkled mess after sitting down for 30 seconds? Blech. Give me a chiffon or a jersey any day over that ish.
It's silk per OP. But yup, the fabric looks like the same as what I've stuffed my ass in for friends, and end the night a wrinkled mess.
Its silk and its $75? Yea I don't think so. Unless its super crappy quality and low grade silk.

It's from DB, if that helps explain the price..

mikenberger · January 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

climbingwife said:

I don't think I can link without breaking TOS, but it was a shitshow thread about a page back that was about asking someone to be a bridesmaid versus asking them to be a reader. This is the dress the poster dared us to defy.

Not a bad dress, but definitely not for everyone.

Where do my boobs go in this dress? Out the sides?

Mine would be hanging out near my belly button since I'd have to go without a bra...

Yup. I'd just tuck mine into that drawstring and call it a day.

WhatawagSBNy · January 2015

There is a lot of low grade silk out there. Lots of people assume silk means quality.

There is high grade finely woven and processed cotton and crappy low grade cotton canvas. Any silk satin dress selling for a hundred dollars is not the stuff of princesses.

lc07 · January 2015

Can someone please explain to me why it's okay to dictate what your honored guests wear to the wedding?

I know we advocate for shopping within their budgets and taking their likes and dislikes into consideration (to a degree) but wouldn't it be awesome to just wear whatever you damn well please as an attendant? Just like a "regular" wedding guest does? Just like a regular wedding guest, attendants' attire does not impact annnyytthinnggg close to important.

thesilverbride · January 2015

Thanks to those who gave me constructive criticism! It is actually satin, pardon my mistake. And I have 9 bridesmaids.. yep. 9. I guess they were feeding off each other energy and eventually everything has worked itself out. The two strapped dress looks incredible on the curvier girls and my 00 girls look absolutely stunning in the off shoulder and strapless ones. I think sometimes bridesmaids forget how stressful a wedding can be for the bride and how you just want something like giving them plenty of options to be simpler.. but I'm slowly learning that nothing in wedding planning is very simplistic!

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

kristy1801 said:

Thanks to those who gave me constructive criticism! It is actually satin, pardon my mistake. And I have 9 bridesmaids.. yep. 9. I guess they were feeding off each other energy and eventually everything has worked itself out. The two strapped dress looks incredible on the curvier girls and my 00 girls look absolutely stunning in the off shoulder and strapless ones. I think sometimes bridesmaids forget how stressful a wedding can be for the bride and how you just want something like giving them plenty of options to be simpler.. but I'm slowly learning that nothing in wedding planning is very simplistic!

It's as simple and as stress- free as you make it! Just keep telling yourself that as you plan.

sarahufl · January 2015

That fabric also shows sweat.

lovegood90 · January 2015

sarahufl said:

That fabric also shows sweat.

And panty lines!! Not cute..

velvethelicopters · January 2015

If some like one dress and some like another dress - done. Same color, same length.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

Well if you go shopping with them again for dresses my recommendation is find a resturant that has booze near by. Feed & booze the girls up first. I'm not saying get them drunk, but a drink or two may help lighten the mood. At the very least, feed BM are happier BM. When my I get hungry I get short tempered & cranky, my husband calls it angry wife & makes sure to get me food fast. Then take them to a store that has a large variety of dresses in different budgets (make sure they have 2-3 dresses that fit the lowest budget you have been given) and tell the girls, you can pick whatever you want in this color from this designer in this length. Or even, anything that's purple (color example). Or just tell them the color, and length and let them go shopping on their own or offer to go with them if they want company & leave it up to them.

xx802xx · January 2015

I'm doing the bridesmaid dress shopping thing now and my girls seem easy compared to yours! BUT...like we did with my sister's wedding before and we're doing with mine, a snack and drink or 2 right before to lighten the mood. Plus...I take a picture of the bridesmaids standing together in each of the dresses we've made as an option so that they can actually see themselves in the dress later on...not just their first impression walking out of the dressing room before they've even seen themselves in the mirror.

We haven't picked out dresses yet, but at least no childish fits about every dress they try on. Most of my bridesmaids have cheerfully said (whether actually true or not, we'll see) "It's your day and I'm happy to support you in whatever you pick for me to wear." I want each one to feel pretty and love to wear the dress(es) chosen in the end...but they also understand that it is my wedding and I might have certain ideas on colors and styles too. We're listening to each others opinions and even trying on dresses we didn't consider before to get visuals and real opinions once we see it (and I've been happily surprised with a dress or two suggested).

But Drinks and snack before...YES

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

lovegood90 said:

sarahufl said:

That fabric also shows sweat.

And panty lines!! Not cute..

Yeah, but that shouldn't even be a concern in this day and age with the types of panties specifically designed not to leave a panty line in the 1st place.

lovegood90 · January 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

lovegood90 said:

sarahufl said:

That fabric also shows sweat.

And panty lines!! Not cute..

Yeah, but that shouldn't even be a concern in this day and age with the types of panties specifically designed not to leave a panty line in the 1st place.

This is true! I swear by my spanx for events like these..even if it makes me feel like I have a diaper on.

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