Re: CLOSED

• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015

  Knottie56690751 said:

  To all my already married brides, what was your worst experience with trying to wrangle together your bridal party??

  My wedding is set for January 2016 and I currently have 6 bridesmaids. This is where the nightmare begins.

  First I originally only wanted 4, but then 1 (my cousin) threw a fit because she wanted to be a bridesmaid and of course my mother has been pressuring me to make her one. The other bridesmaid lives all the way in Texas but swear she can just order her dress on line and show up. I've been putting up with this because my mom keeps pressuring me to do so, but now I'm getting a little ticked off. My MOH is my closest friend so she has been a great open ear to me but the other 5 are driving me up the wall. They don't seem to be taking everything seriously to the point where they don't answer my texts concerning scheduling a date for a initial fitting.

  We don't have any clue what their dress sizes are, what their budget should be or what even will look good on everyone. Most of their excuses (except for my MOH) is that they are busy. My wedding is 12 months off and I'm already fed up.

  
  

  Your best bet for your bridesmaids: "I want you to wear (insert color), (insert length), (insert offensive fabric you don't want them to wear/fabric you want them to wear) and (optional: designer)" That'll take away all your trouble on that. It's on them to order them and have them ready by the wedding. If they don't, they've removed themselves from the party and that's a-okay. 

  
  

  And sometimes, people are just busy. I know I'm a busy person. Despite whatever my reply count is on on TK.

  
  

  
  

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• flantastic member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  Knottie56690751 said:

  To all my already married brides, what was your worst experience with trying to wrangle together your bridal party??

  My wedding is set for January 2016 and I currently have 6 bridesmaids. This is where the nightmare begins.

  First I originally only wanted 4, but then 1 (my cousin) threw a fit because she wanted to be a bridesmaid and of course my mother has been pressuring me to make her one. The other bridesmaid lives all the way in Texas but swear she can just order her dress on line and show up. I've been putting up with this because my mom keeps pressuring me to do so, but now I'm getting a little ticked off. My MOH is my closest friend so she has been a great open ear to me but the other 5 are driving me up the wall. They don't seem to be taking everything seriously to the point where they don't answer my texts concerning scheduling a date for a initial fitting.

  We don't have any clue what their dress sizes are, what their budget should be or what even will look good on everyone. Most of their excuses (except for my MOH) is that they are busy. My wedding is 12 months off and I'm already fed up.

  
  

  Calm down.

  They don't all need to go shopping/fitting together. I wouldn't take those texts seriously either, at 12 months out. Ask the girls individually what their budget is, and search within the lowest of the girls' budgets.

  I gave my girls a fabric and a length from one designer and told them to pick what would look best. They ordered their own dresses and it was easy - I have no idea what their sizes are, then or now. See attached picture. If you want a close-to-matching bridal party, I think this is a good strategy - they all looked and felt great. Finding one dress which looks good on 6 girls will likely be impossible.

  I didn't see anything in your post that would justify you feeling like they're "driving you up the wall."
  

  Laura and Kevin married-Wedding Party-0023.jpg 1.6M

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• levioosa member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  
  

  Knottie56690751 said:

  To all my already married brides, what was your worst experience with trying to wrangle together your bridal party??

  My wedding is set for January 2016 and I currently have 6 bridesmaids. This is where the nightmare begins.

  First I originally only wanted 4, but then 1 (my cousin) threw a fit because she wanted to be a bridesmaid and of course my mother has been pressuring me to make her one. The other bridesmaid lives all the way in Texas but swear she can just order her dress on line and show up. I've been putting up with this because my mom keeps pressuring me to do so, but now I'm getting a little ticked off. My MOH is my closest friend so she has been a great open ear to me but the other 5 are driving me up the wall. They don't seem to be taking everything seriously to the point where they don't answer my texts concerning scheduling a date for a initial fitting.

  We don't have any clue what their dress sizes are, what their budget should be or what even will look good on everyone. Most of their excuses (except for my MOH) is that they are busy. My wedding is 12 months off and I'm already fed up.

  
  

  Woah.  Why are you asking them to buy dresses so early? 
  
  Just give them the designer, fabric, and color, and let them figure it out and order for themselves.  Sometimes it's just not possible to have everyone together for a fitting, and they do all have busy lives.  Also, your girls know which styles will look good on them. I love drop waist dresses, but I look terrible in them, so I never buy them.  No matter how cute they look, I'll pick the cut that I know will flatter me.  Your girls will do the same. 
  
  Take a deep breath.  You're completely focused on the wedding right now.  Focus on friendships first. 
  
  All your bridal party is required to do is show up on time the day of the wedding, sober, and in good spirits.  They aren't required to help you do any crafts or plan any parties.  You also didn't have to ask your cousin when she threw a temper tantrum, but that ship has sailed and now you can't unask her.
  
  Edit: To include quoted text.
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  January 2015

  My BMs were scattered across 3 states. We never got together to go BM dress shopping and did everything online. Only my MOH (my sister) went wedding dress shopping with me because she was home from Thanksgiving. And the wedding went off without a hitch - no problems at all.

  
  

  All you need to do for BM dresses is ask each of them privately how much they can spend on a BM dress. Then look online for stuff you like within that budget (keep in mind shipping and alteration costs). Since you have 6 girls, I'd find a manufacturer that has multiple options in the same color, length, fabric and tell them to get one of the styles available. 
  

  
  

  Also, most people don't even have their bridal party picked at this point. Usually it's closer to 6-10 months out. So none of this needs to be decided NOW NOW NOW. That's probably why they're not responding - they're annoyed with your ridiculous sense of urgency. I would be, too. Where's the fire? 

  
  

  Who is the knottie who says "don't borrow trouble?" @ohannabelle? But yea, that.

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  Knottie56690751 said:

  To all my already married brides, what was your worst experience with trying to wrangle together your bridal party??  I didn't wrangle anyone.  There was nothing that we all needed to do together until the day of the wedding.
  

  My wedding is set for January 2016 and I currently have 6 bridesmaids. This is where the nightmare begins.  I had 10 BMs and only one issue, which I will mention later.
  

  First I originally only wanted 4, but then 1 (my cousin) threw a fit because she wanted to be a bridesmaid and of course my mother has been pressuring me to make her one. The other bridesmaid lives all the way in Texas but swear she can just order her dress on line and show up. I've been putting up with this because my mom keeps pressuring me to do so, but now I'm getting a little ticked off. My MOH is my closest friend so she has been a great open ear to me but the other 5 are driving me up the wall. They don't seem to be taking everything seriously to the point where they don't answer my texts concerning scheduling a date for a initial fitting.  You don't need to schedule anything for them.  They are adults, let them schedule their fittings for themselves.  They also don't need to go together or with you to be fitted.  AND there shouldn't be any fittings nor dress orders placed until later this year.  If you are ordering from a chain store- David's Bridal, Alfred Angelo- you don't need to order dresses until about 3 months out at the earliest.  If you are ordering through a private salon, then you don't need to place orders until about 5 months out.
  

  We don't have any clue what their dress sizes are, what their budget should be or what even will look good on everyone. Most of their excuses (except for my MOH) is that they are busy. My wedding is 12 months off and I'm already fed up.

  
  

  Here's the easiest solution, the one I employed for my own wedding- Pick a color or color palette and a dress length, and then tell your BMs to buy any dress that fits those criteria.  Then forget about it.
  
  
  This worked out really well for me, except with my two sisters who gave me a heart attack because they acted like they hadn't gotten dresses right up until the wedding. .. when in fact they actually had dresses made and didn't tell me ><
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• AuroraRose41 member

  

  January 2015

  Knottie56690751 said:

  To all my already married brides, what was your worst experience with trying to wrangle together your bridal party??

  My wedding is set for January 2016 and I currently have 6 bridesmaids. This is where the nightmare begins.

  First I originally only wanted 4, but then 1 (my cousin) threw a fit because she wanted to be a bridesmaid and of course my mother has been pressuring me to make her one. The other bridesmaid lives all the way in Texas but swear she can just order her dress on line and show up. I've been putting up with this because my mom keeps pressuring me to do so, but now I'm getting a little ticked off. My MOH is my closest friend so she has been a great open ear to me but the other 5 are driving me up the wall. They don't seem to be taking everything seriously to the point where they don't answer my texts concerning scheduling a date for a initial fitting.

  We don't have any clue what their dress sizes are, what their budget should be or what even will look good on everyone. Most of their excuses (except for my MOH) is that they are busy. My wedding is 12 months off and I'm already fed up.

  
  

  First bolded: She's right. I live across the freaking country from the girls that will be my bridesmaids and they all live in different states up and down the East Coast. There is no rule that you need to be there or they even need to be together to try them on. Plus, they are adults and can figure out what will look good on them. 

  
  

  Second bolded: you should have asked each one privately what their budget is, and then find a dress (or designer) in the lowest budget given. 

  
  

  Third bolded: they probably are! Your wedding is not their priority right now, and no one will be as excited for it as you are. 

  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  January 2015

  "Closed"?
  
  Nice try!
  
  
  
  Why "close" the thread and not respond to any of the great advice you received?  Lemme guess. . . you didn't get the validation you were seeking?
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2015

  

  
  

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• flantastic member

  

  January 2015

  "Closed"

  lol sure

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• levioosa member

  

  January 2015

  "Closed"
  
  
  Totally saw it coming.  Her poor friends. 
  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report3 Reply
• plainjane0415 member

  

  January 2015

  Another one bites the dust.

  
  

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• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  PrettyGirlLost said:

  "Closed"?
  
  Nice try!
  
  
  
  Why "close" the thread and not respond to any of the great advice you received?  Lemme guess. . . you didn't get the validation you were seeking?
  

  yep, I only came here cuz it said "closed." I'm a little disappointed, though. It was kind of dull. 

  
  

  ETA: This is how I picture the SS that run off from such mild responses: 

  
  

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  January 2015

  I just want to keep this one alive because of the giant Closed sign.

  
  

  Story time... So, apparently when my uncle was little, he really really really liked the ice cream shop in town.  In order to not have to stop there every time they passed by, or find a route that wouldn't take them past the ice cream shop, they taught the little tyke that O.P.E.N spells 'Closed'.  It's a running gag in our family that when we don't want to stop somewhere that "o.p.e.n spells closed."

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• climbingsingle member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  Hey, this thread says closed. How come I still can post in here?

  
  

  Report8 Reply
• levioosa member

  

  January 2015

  adk19 said:

  I just want to keep this one alive because of the giant Closed sign.

  
  

  Story time... So, apparently when my uncle was little, he really really really liked the ice cream shop in town.  In order to not have to stop there every time they passed by, or find a route that wouldn't take them past the ice cream shop, they taught the little tyke that O.P.E.N spells 'Closed'.  It's a running gag in our family that when we don't want to stop somewhere that "o.p.e.n spells closed."

  Reminds me of my teacher in high school who wanted to teach his future children that blue was red and red was blue. 
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015

  levioosa said:

  adk19 said:

  I just want to keep this one alive because of the giant Closed sign.

  
  

  Story time... So, apparently when my uncle was little, he really really really liked the ice cream shop in town.  In order to not have to stop there every time they passed by, or find a route that wouldn't take them past the ice cream shop, they taught the little tyke that O.P.E.N spells 'Closed'.  It's a running gag in our family that when we don't want to stop somewhere that "o.p.e.n spells closed."

  Reminds me of my teacher in high school who wanted to teach his future children that blue was red and red was blue. 
  

  It's just like the parents that teach their kids that McDonalds is food

  

  Report2 Reply
• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  January 2015

  @Knottie56690751 - it's bad internet etiquette to delete your post. And you were quoted so everyone can still see what you said. Writing "CLOSED" is basically a bat signal for drama, so it'll bring people to this thread versus steer them away. 

  
  

  
  

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• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015

  GUYS. CAN'T YOU SEE THIS IS CLOSED!?!? YOU'RE SO MEAN AND UNSUPPORTIVE!!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  January 2015

  levioosa said:

  adk19 said:

  I just want to keep this one alive because of the giant Closed sign.

  
  

  Story time... So, apparently when my uncle was little, he really really really liked the ice cream shop in town.  In order to not have to stop there every time they passed by, or find a route that wouldn't take them past the ice cream shop, they taught the little tyke that O.P.E.N spells 'Closed'.  It's a running gag in our family that when we don't want to stop somewhere that "o.p.e.n spells closed."

  Reminds me of my teacher in high school who wanted to teach his future children that blue was red and red was blue. 
  

  Yep.  Back in the day my cousin said that he wanted to name his first son Joe but spell it B.O.B.  First day of school, "Is Bob Smith here?"  "It's pronounced Joe."  "But it's spelled B.O.B."  "Yes, but it's pronounced Joe."  Cousin got married a couple years back.  I made sure to mention this story to his wife.

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• mikenberger member

  

  January 2015

  Haha her profile page on here:

  
  

  Knottie56690751 · member

  I've learned my lesson on asking others for advice, especially then they don't know the situation -____-

  
  

  
  

  We just don't understand her situation.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Report15 Reply
• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015

  Wow. No one even said anything mean. Or even very blunt. Jesus. How does she make it through life? 

  

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• flantastic member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  
  

  mikenberger said:

  Haha her profile page on here:

  
  

  Knottie56690751 · member

  I've learned my lesson on asking others for advice, especially then they don't know the situation -____-

  
  

  
  

  We just don't understand her situation.

  
  

  Oh Lord. That's why I said,

  I didn't see anything in your post that would justify you feeling like they're "driving you up the wall."

  Is there mitigating info? Share it! Although somehow I'd guess it's not quite as dramatic as OP thinks it is...
  

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• levioosa member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  flantastic said:

  
  

  mikenberger said:

  Haha her profile page on here:

  
  

  Knottie56690751 · member

  I've learned my lesson on asking others for advice, especially then they don't know the situation -____-

  
  

  
  

  We just don't understand her situation.

  
  

  Oh Lord. That's why I said,

  I didn't see anything in your post that would justify you feeling like they're "driving you up the wall."

  
  

  BUT THERE WAS A SITUATION.
  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report2 Reply
• novella1186 member

  

  January 2015

  flantastic said:

  
  

  mikenberger said:

  Haha her profile page on here:

  
  

  Knottie56690751 · member

  I've learned my lesson on asking others for advice, especially then they don't know the situation -____-

  
  

  
  

  We just don't understand her situation.

  
  

  Oh Lord. That's why I said,

  I didn't see anything in your post that would justify you feeling like they're "driving you up the wall."

  Is there mitigating info? Share it! Although somehow I'd guess it's not quite as dramatic as OP thinks it is...
  

  I had a college roommate who would scream and cry at the drop of a hat. I once asked her if it was ok for me to put her clothes in the dryer so I could throw mine in the washer. She looked at me for a minute with a blank stare, then literally started screaming, flung the front door wide open, ran outside, and raced down the sidewalk crying. Then she sat down in the middle of the sidewalk and called her mom, sobbing the entire time. I'm not fucking kidding. It was always like this with her, every day, no matter what. 

  
  

  I wonder if the OP is my college roommate.... 

  

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  January 2015

  Came for the bat signal.

  
  

  
  

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• flantastic member

  

  January 2015

  lolo883 said:

  Came for the bat signal.

  
  

  
  

  A friend (my MOH, actually) and I were just talking on Tuesday about how crazy it would sound to folks a few decades ago if you told them, "There'll be a device that you'll carry with you everywhere, and I'll always be able to reach you on it, and if I contact you and you don't respond within a couple hours, I'll start to worry (or get angry)."
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  January 2015

  novella1186 said:

  flantastic said:

  
  

  mikenberger said:

  Haha her profile page on here:

  
  

  Knottie56690751 · member

  I've learned my lesson on asking others for advice, especially then they don't know the situation -____-

  
  

  
  

  We just don't understand her situation.

  
  

  Oh Lord. That's why I said,

  I didn't see anything in your post that would justify you feeling like they're "driving you up the wall."

  Is there mitigating info? Share it! Although somehow I'd guess it's not quite as dramatic as OP thinks it is...
  

  I had a college roommate who would scream and cry at the drop of a hat. I once asked her if it was ok for me to put her clothes in the dryer so I could throw mine in the washer. She looked at me for a minute with a blank stare, then literally started screaming, flung the front door wide open, ran outside, and raced down the sidewalk crying. Then she sat down in the middle of the sidewalk and called her mom, sobbing the entire time. I'm not fucking kidding. It was always like this with her, every day, no matter what. 

  
  

  I wonder if the OP is my college roommate.... 

  I was once friends with a girl like this as well. She overreacted about everything. Literally threw tantrums if she didn't get her way. I eventually stopped hanging out with her (after she slept with two of my ex-boyfriends). But we are friends on FB, and she's getting married soon. I've often wondered how she's been handling the wedding planning. 

  
  

  Here's a funny story about this girl. For her 18th birthday, another friend and I were throwing her a birthday party at her house (June, and she had a pool. Bonus). Friend and I were decorating with streamers. Crazy girl got into a fight with her mom, and pulled down all the streamers while screaming and crying. It was horrfiying and funny at the same time. 

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  January 2015

  Came for the bat signal.

  
  

  And since rodeo season is soon here in Houston, I thought the OP wanted to do this to her Bridal Party:

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• ShesSoCold mod

  

  January 2015

  The DD was how long ago and STILL NO PUPPIES?

  
  

  WTF guys?!

  
  

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• AuroraRose41 member

  

  January 2015

  ShesSoCold said:

  The DD was how long ago and STILL NO PUPPIES?

  
  

  WTF guys?!

  Here you go! 

  
  

  
  

  
  

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