Average cost for a bridesmaid to be in the wedding.

Maggie0829 · January 2015

The only thing that a person has to pay for to be in a wedding is the dress (and that should be within their budget that you asked them for). Everything else should be up to them as to whether or not they spend their money.

Hair and makeup, shoes, bach part, bridal shower are all optional things and if one does not want to contribute to those things then that is up to them.

If you are requiring hair and makeup then YOU have to pay for it. If you are requiring specific shoes (like hot pink, rhinestone studded stilettos) then YOU have to pay for it.

KatWAG · January 2015

lusciouslaurie9 said:

Is this average, high or low? I'm estimating my girls will be spending about $550-$600 including attire, hair & makeup, bachelorette, and bridal shower. please let me know what you think, this is stressing me out!

I think that is absolutely 100% absurd.

Make- up, hair, bach parties and bridal showers are all optional for bridesmaids.

Dont give them a budget. Go to each person individually and ask what their budget is for the dress. Then whatever the lowest number is, that is the max amount the BM dress can cost.

mikenberger · January 2015

Attire: Based off of you. (Are you going to let them choose a dress that they may already have, give them flexible requirements and let them choose a dress or are you going to secure each budget and go from there?) if you require a certain shoe, you should pay for those.

Hair and makeup: Based off of you. (They can choose whether they want their hair done or not. If you demand it, you must pay for it)

Bachelorette: Totally optional for bridal party to contribute/attend.

Bridal Shower: Totally optional for the bridal party to contribute/attend.

So from the looks of it: Maybe $50 for the dress. And that's it. (And $50 is what I would probably spend. You may have a bridesmaid that is going to pay less than that. Or more.)

flantastic · January 2015

lusciouslaurie9 said:

Is this average, high or low? I'm estimating my girls will be spending about $550-$600 including attire, hair & makeup, bachelorette, and bridal shower. please let me know what you think, this is stressing me out!

What about travel costs? That gets factored in too.

Unless they offered to host a bachelorette and bridal shower, they shouldn't have to pay for those. No one else should be planning things and then telling the girls their "share." If they did offer to host, the cost is of their choosing and on them.

They also can't be required to get hair and makeup done unless you're paying for it, so if that cost is too much for them, they can opt out.

ETA Did you ask each of them their budget, privately, before shopping for the dress? Because they should have given you a number they can handle, in which case it's okay to shop within the price range of the lowest budget, and that shouldn't stress you either.

lam424 · January 2015

They were only obligated to pay for dress and shoes which was $250 together. The rest is all optional.. that is the total if they choose to do everything.. they aren't obligated to at all.

flantastic · January 2015

You can't require shoes either. If you do, you have to pay for them. Did you ask for a budget for the dress? Because you needed to.

If they choose to do everything, then they have chosen that cost. Just don't guilt trip them into planning something they can't afford, or coming if they can't afford it.

mikenberger · January 2015

lam424 said:

They were only obligated to pay for dress and shoes which was $250 together. The rest is all optional.. that is the total if they choose to do everything.. they aren't obligated to at all.

Obligated? Is that a poor choice of words or did you choose everything and make them pay for it?

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

lam424 said:

Is this average, high or low? I'm estimating my girls will be spending about $550-$600 including attire, hair & makeup, bachelorette, and bridal shower. please let me know what you think, this is stressing me out!

Woah!

Why are you spending your friends' money?

1st, you don't just go out and pick a dress for your BMs. You need to speak to each one privately and ask her how much she is comfortable spending on a dress. Then you look for dresses that fall at or below the lowest price you were given. The dres is the only attire the BMs are responsible for paying for.

Shoes and jewelry- let them wear what they already own, or else you need to pay for it.

Hair and makeup- let them do their own. If they choose to have their hair and make up professionally done, that's fine. But if you are going to require it then you need to pay for it.

Bridal Shower and Bachlorette party- those parties are gifts that someone offers to host for you- you can't expect or demand them. Anyone can throw those for you, it doesn't have to be a BM, and their costs are up to those who choose to host them.

KatWAG · January 2015

lam424 said:

They were only obligated to pay for dress and shoes which was $250 together. The rest is all optional.. that is the total if they choose to do everything.. they aren't obligated to at all.

Your original post didnt sound optional. And you owe your BMs money for the shoes you had them buy.

levioosa · January 2015

They are only "obligated" to purchase the dress and show up on time, sober, and in good spirits on the day of the wedding. You should ask them for their budget privately and keep that in mind when choosing a dress. Or just let them purchase a dress within certain parameters (color, length, fabric).

If you require certain shoes, jewelry, makeup and hairstyle, then you must pay for those. If you aren't requiring them, but would like your girls to know that the service is available if they wish to partake in it (with the cost), then they can let you know if they would like to get it done or not.

Anyone can throw you a bridal shower or bachelorette, but it is definitely not required. Your BP is also not required to help you plan or DIY anything. Those things are for you and your FI to do.

Treat your friends like the honored guests they are meant to be as members of your BP.

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

My BMs paid for nothing other than their hotel rooms since they chose to stay at the hotel the night before the wedding. I purchased their dresses and let them have free reign to do whatever they wanted for shoes, hair, makeup, nails, etc. There were no pre-wedding parties or anything of the sort. All I cared about was them standing next to me on my wedding day.

jenna8984 · January 2015

lam424 said:

They were only obligated to pay for dress and shoes which was $250 together. The rest is all optional.. that is the total if they choose to do everything.. they aren't obligated to at all.

So how do you know that "if they chose to do everything" it will cost $600? How do you have any idea what the hypothetical bachelorette party and shower cost? That should not be itemized and billed out- whoever decides to host it for you takes care of the cost. If someone decides to host it for you in their house with a platter of sandwiches then it will be little to no cost for other girls....not sure why you think they would need to spent hundreds of dollars to be involved.

lam424 · January 2015

no, not at all. they picked the dress which was 226$ and I picked the shoes which were only $21. And i'm only estimating what they'll spend on the bachelorette $150 (which they also picked out) which is optional. The hair and makeup would be $100 which is optional. And my mother asked for them to chip in for the bridal shower $50 each, which again is totally optional. So IF THEY CHOOSE to do everything it would be a total of $547

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

lam424 said:

no, not at all. they picked the dress which was 226$ and I picked the shoes which were only $21. And i'm only estimating what they'll spend on the bachelorette $150 (which they also picked out) which is optional. The hair and makeup would be $100 which is optional. And my mother asked for them to chip in for the bridal shower $50 each, which again is totally optional. So IF THEY CHOOSE to do everything it would be a total of $547

So why is this stressing you out, then?

If everything is optional, then why do you care what they may or may not choose to spend? I'm confused.

floridabride44 · January 2015

lam424 said:

no, not at all. they picked the dress which was 226$ and I picked the shoes which were only $21. And i'm only estimating what they'll spend on the bachelorette $150 (which they also picked out) which is optional. The hair and makeup would be $100 which is optional. And my mother asked for them to chip in for the bridal shower $50 each, which again is totally optional. So IF THEY CHOOSE to do everything it would be a total of $547

jenna8984 · January 2015

lam424 said:

no, not at all. they picked the dress which was 226$ and I picked the shoes which were only $21. And i'm only estimating what they'll spend on the bachelorette $150 (which they also picked out) which is optional. The hair and makeup would be $100 which is optional. And my mother asked for them to chip in for the bridal shower $50 each, which again is totally optional. So IF THEY CHOOSE to do everything it would be a total of $547

Can they still attend if they don't chip in? This was total inappropriate for your mother to do. She should have hosted the whole thing OR co-hosted it with the bridemaids who wished to co-host it. You don't get to just be the host and then bill it out that's not ok.

But to answer your original quesion, yes, that would be too much personally for me. I would not attend a bachelorette that cost that much, I would not wish to pay that much for hair & makeup. I think the most I've ever spent being a bridesmaid was $350.

KatWAG · January 2015

lam424 said:

no, not at all. they picked the dress which was 226$ and I picked the shoes which were only $21. And i'm only estimating what they'll spend on the bachelorette $150 (which they also picked out) which is optional. The hair and makeup would be $100 which is optional. And my mother asked for them to chip in for the bridal shower $50 each, which again is totally optional. So IF THEY CHOOSE to do everything it would be a total of $547

So I guess I dont see the point of this thread. If you asked the BMs their budget; and they are okay with a $226 dress. And they know everything else is optional and you arent pressuring them IN ANY WAY to participate in the extra actitivites, then what are you asking?

Are you asking if that is a lot of money to be a BM? I guess the answer is, it depends on too many factors.

Was that helpful?

lyndausvi · January 2015

I think it's funny you are trying to estimate how much people are going to pay for your parties.

Some BM don't pay much more than a dress.

Others have dresses, alterations, shoes, underwear (sometimes you don't have the right bra for the dress), hair, makeup, mani/pedi, showers, b-parties, gifts, transportation, hotels and other travel expenses.

I had 2 BMs who hosted the shower, the other 2 didn't. The same 2 who hosted the shower had their hair and makeup done (which I paid). The other 2 are professional hair and makeup stylist and did it themselves, they may or may not have bought special make-up for the weddings (i.e eye shadow, nail polish, etc). So even within the same WP I could not tell you what the average of what they spend.

Basically, I think it's silly to try and figure this out.

lovesclimbing · January 2015

Ditto all the PPs.

Personally, I think that is waaaaaay high.

For the two weddings I've been in, I've averaged spending about $80 including all the things you listed (dress, shoes, hair, makeup, parties and showers.) That's because in one wedding I only bought shoes and for the other wedding I literally paid for nothing except a few inexpensive decorations for the bachelorette party and some food for the bachelorette and shower.

For the upcoming wedding in which I am MOH, I expect to spend about $500-$600, but that's because I have to pay for air fare which will be about $400-$500 of that.

lam424 · January 2015

Because I have a couple bridesmaids that want to attend to everything and think it's all too much. they know its optional but they don't want to miss anything or feel left out if they choose not to. I don't want them to feel left out by any means. and that's what stresses me out, is making someone else feel bad or left out. and of course I want them to all be included they're my bm's I love them!

lam424 · January 2015

i can pay for their shoes no problem, but they all offered to do so on their own cause they were only 21$ so i let them.

KatWAG · January 2015

lam424 said:

Because I have a couple bridesmaids that want to attend to everything and think it's all too much. they know its optional but they don't want to miss anything or feel left out if they choose not to. I don't want them to feel left out by any means. and that's what stresses me out, is making someone else feel bad or left out. and of course I want them to all be included they're my bm's I love them!

If they think its too much then it is too much.

I doubt your BMs feel like anything is optional when your mother is asking them for money.

lam424 · January 2015

i just wanted to know what the average bridesmaid spends being in a wedding, including the dress, shoes, bachelorette, bridal shower, hair & makeup. If the bridesmaid decides to partake in everything that is.

annathy03 · January 2015

Yeah if you didn't ask them their budget for the dress you might consider paying them back for more than just the shoes...

I didn't really want to ask my BMs for a dress budget, so I bought their dresses. I know not everyone can do that, but anyone can say "blue dress, floor length" and let their BMs decide their own budget.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

lam424 said:
Because I have a couple bridesmaids that want to attend to everything and think it's all too much. they know its optional but they don't want to miss anything or feel left out if they choose not to. I don't want them to feel left out by any means. and that's what stresses me out, is making someone else feel bad or left out. and of course I want them to all be included they're my bm's I love them!

I agree with them, I think it's too high. Did you ask them for their dress budgets before picking that dress?

So if they don't pay for the shower that your mother is invoicing them for they can't attend? How do you know A. If they are going to offer to plan a Bach party for you and B. What that Bach party wI'll entail let alone C. The cost? They can spend as much or as little on the bach party as they choose to.

That's the thing they need to understand, the shower and wedding costs are totally up to them. They shouldn't feel obligated to shell out money if they can't afford to.

ShesSoCold · January 2015

The last time I was a BM, I spent $118 on the dress. That was it. I didn't help with the shower and attended as a guest. I don't believe the bride had a bachelorette.

My sister was my MOH (no other BMs) and she bought a dress on clearance for $35. She and my mom did generously throw me a shower, but I don't know what it cost. I also did not have a bachelorette party.

novella1186 · January 2015

KatWAG said:

lam424 said:

Because I have a couple bridesmaids that want to attend to everything and think it's all too much. they know its optional but they don't want to miss anything or feel left out if they choose not to. I don't want them to feel left out by any means. and that's what stresses me out, is making someone else feel bad or left out. and of course I want them to all be included they're my bm's I love them!

If they think its too much then it is too much.

I doubt your BMs feel like anything is optional when your mother is asking them for money.

This. This thread is blowing my mind. One of my BMs spent $50 on her dress. She got to choose her shoes, and I'm paying for hair and make-up but not requiring it. Another one of my BMs is wearing a dress and shoes she already owns. So for one of them, the total cost of my wedding will be $50. For the other it will be $0. The other girls haven't chosen their dresses yet, and only two of them are able to make it to my bachelorette party so that will cost them whatever they've planned of their own free will. My aunt is hosting my shower and it will cost the BMs nothing.

There is no standard average cost but $600 is fucking nuts.

lyndausvi · January 2015

I would say my average is in the 4 figure range. But I was in a lot of OOT weddings. And I know of at least one wedding that I spent less because I was not in a good financial position at the time.

Average don't mean anything if the individual can't afford everything. If they can't, they can't.

I know you said they picked up the $226 dress (which is expensive in my mind). But did they really pick out or was it a group situation and someone was afraid to speak up and just yes to be a "team player?"

lam424 · January 2015

wow i really love how everyone jumps down my throat. i did ask them, we all went to the shop together, they picked out the dresses themselves. and we were all together shopping for the shoes, that they offered to pay for. they are obviously welcome to my bridal shower!!!! my mother just wanted to know if they could chip in. she is traditional and feels the bridesmaids should pay for the shower on their own, which i know is totally out of their budgets so i told her absolutely not.

lovesclimbing · January 2015

lam424 said:
i just wanted to know what the average bridesmaid spends being in a wedding, including the dress, shoes, bachelorette, bridal shower, hair & makeup. If the bridesmaid decides to partake in everything that is.

I told you. At the weddings I've been in so far, I've averaged about $80-$85 for all of the things you mention - dress, shoes, bachelorette, showers, hair, makeup. At the upcoming wedding, if I take out the airfare, I think my average will go up a little to $95-$100 because, although I'm not paying for the dress, I will be spending money for alterations.

Average cost for a bridesmaid to be in the wedding.

Re: Average cost for a bridesmaid to be in the wedding.

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