Went to a wedding this weekend.. photos are banned!

Ndelible · January 2015

If you are attending an event and asked not post photos, I think it is a request to follow. Social media is the difference. In the old days, it took time to develop the photos; now, not so much. Their event, their desires.

And, its not all about the pro pics. People paying more attention to their phones instead of the occasion...

I mean, when you are at work functions and they request phones off, no pictures.... do you still do it???

banana468 · January 2015

Ndelible said:
If you are attending an event and asked not post photos, I think it is a request to follow. Social media is the difference. In the old days, it took time to develop the photos; now, not so much. Their event, their desires.

And, its not all about the pro pics. People paying more attention to their phones instead of the occasion...

I mean, when you are at work functions and they request phones off, no pictures.... do you still do it???

Are you going to pay me to attend your wedding? Because I comply with my employer's requests as I depend on a weekly paycheck. Often, there can be sensitive information that should not be shared which is why an employer bans cell phone cameras. (DH's job is an excellent example since it's a government contractor and you're not allowed to have a cellphone with a working camera on the grounds) . There's nothing that special at your wedding that I can't snap a shot of my BIL shaking his tail feather to All About That Bass.

slothiegal · January 2015

People taking pictures at my wedding and posting them fell under the category of "things I give zero fucks about".

(Ha, H just walked over here and read this thread. His response? "Welcome to two thousand fucking fifteen.")

trulymarvelous · January 2015

@slothiegal this is totally where I stand on this, hahah.

Also just to clarify, the bride was 100% okay with pictures being taken of anything and everyone there. She is asking us to not post anything, even if it's just a silly selfie of FI and me after a few glasses of wine, until she get's her professional photos uploaded.

And also, while I think it is silly and inappropriate to ask, I am still refraining from uploading them. I've shared a couple in a private email with FI mother and mine, but have kept it off FB.

My questions was really to see if I was justified in feeling a little irked I couldn't share pictures fun evening we had at her wedding with my friends and family.

I still say I'd be going nuts waiting to see ANY pictures from our wedding until our photographer gave them to us.

wrigleyville · January 2015

Ndelible said:

If you are attending an event and asked not post photos, I think it is a request to follow. Social media is the difference. In the old days, it took time to develop the photos; now, not so much. Their event, their desires.

And, its not all about the pro pics. People paying more attention to their phones instead of the occasion...

I mean, when you are at work functions and they request phones off, no pictures.... do you still do it???

If I have my phone in my hand at a wedding, it's because I'm using it as a camera. I'm not "paying attention to my phone instead of the occasion". If I'm taking a picture, that means I'm paying CLOSE attention, as I'm focusing (literally) on the wedding party, bride and groom, etc.

If I had a camera in my hand instead of a phone, would you make the same accusation?

I always turn my phone to "silent" and never, ever play with it during a wedding. It is used as a camera only. The thing is, people love to assume I'm screwing around simply because I'm holding a phone in my hand. It's like they can't put two and two together and figure out it's a camera at that point.

thisismynickname2 · January 2015

trulymarvelous said:

Also just to clarify, the bride was 100% okay with pictures being taken of anything and everyone there. She is asking us to not post anything, even if it's just a silly selfie of FI and me after a few glasses of wine, until she get's her professional photos uploaded.

My questions was really to see if I was justified in feeling a little irked I couldn't share pictures fun evening we had at her wedding with my friends and family.

wrigleyville said:
If I have my phone in my hand at a wedding, it's because I'm using it as a camera. I'm not "paying attention to my phone instead of the occasion". If I'm taking a picture, that means I'm paying CLOSE attention, as I'm focusing (literally) on the wedding party, bride and groom, etc.

If I had a camera in my hand instead of a phone, would you make the same accusation?

I always turn my phone to "silent" and never, ever play with it during a wedding. It is used as a camera only. The thing is, people love to assume I'm screwing around simply because I'm holding a phone in my hand. It's like they can't put two and two together and figure out it's a camera at that point.

Second bolded: SERIOUSLY. Amen. Preach.

First bolded: This logic is stupid. Just stupid! Nothing can be distributed on social media until after professional pictures have been first? Why? Everyone has to know that in was Pinterest Perfect before the lesser guests sully the waters with less-than-perfect pictures?

Tell this person that you know some Knotties who have been screwed out of their professional wedding photos and her request is ridiculous. If worse came to worse, she's going to be damn thankful for the fun photos of her and her guests shared on social media.

ChemFanatic25 · January 2015

The part of the divots being covered by grass is what made me cringe the most. Ugh, just thinking about it sends shivers up my spine. I am a very clumsy person and can barely walk in heels so I'd be trotting along in ballet flats. I'd still twist an ankle! Oh, ugh, just the thought of popping my ankle at an event like that - whew, not enough words, OP. I feel for you on that one.

The photos, eh, I love taking photos of my BF and I. If I take a photo of just us at the wedding and none of the main components are in the picture I'll probably post it. I've never had a friend request that though so I don't think I have anything to worry about anyways.

pinkcow13 · January 2015

I really don't understand why people make such a big deal about pictures being taken, or posted, etc. (I think a professional photographer would know how to handle guests that get in the way, etc).

Personally, I know not to get in the way of the photographer if I want to take pics of the B&G, I know to take my flash off, and I know not to post the pics during the party. If anyone does that at my wedding, you know what? I won't give a rats ass. Because honestly, most people on my friends social media accounts also won't give a rats ass about my wedding. I'm not Kate Middleton here. I'm looking forward to seeing all the pics my friends post, and if they decide to post them before I walk down the aisle *GASP* I will still be able to get married! At the end of the day, all that matters is that I will finally be married, not that some people posted pics on social media.

OP, it is beyond ridiculous that guests were asked to not even post pics of themselves. And by the time the couple gets their professional pics, why would you even want to post their wedding pics months later?

princessofgenovia · January 2015

I don't give a shit if someone wants to live tweet my wedding. Just don't come shoving your camera into my face when I'm getting ready/saying my vows/eating. That's just rude anytime and also get a camera with zoom damn it.

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

If people don't want pictures tagged on social media, then set your privacy settings accordingly on FB. I wasn't super thrilled about some of the wedding photos people posed from our wedding - I have my eyes closed, or its unflattering. So I just rejected the tag. Sure its still floating around out there, but who gives a shit? I'm not Heidi Klum, so I doubt anyone cares.

plainjane0415 · January 2015

FSIL will be videotaping our wedding with her fancy camera. We asked her to, because FI is good at editing photos/videos and we just didn't see paying the crazy money for a videographer when FI could do it himself. We will have the footage the next day, along with any other photos the family may want to take.

This is something I really could care less about, and honestly I would rather have pics soon after than having to wait months for my pro pics to come back.

ETA: We are providing a tripod and setting the camera up prior to the ceremony so that FSIL just has to turn the camera on and stop it once the ceremony is over. It may be a little unconventional, but we are having a 12 person immediate family ceremony, so we thought it would be ok.

apromise22 · January 2015

I promise I'm not trying to throw shade, but when people make posts like this, with so many specifics about the wedding and their own identity (that she's the FSIL of the bride), aren't they nervous that the bride might find the post?

plainjane0415 · January 2015

apromise22 said:

I promise I'm not trying to throw shade, but when people make posts like this, with so many specifics about the wedding and their own identity (that she's the FSIL of the bride), aren't they nervous that the bride might find the post?

Posts like what? If you're referring to my post, I use acronyms because I respect the privacy of my family members? Most of the people on these forums don't post their names, or their families names, because of privacy reasons. I'm the bride in my posts' situation, and to be frank, I really don't care who finds out that I posted what I did here.

photokitty · January 2015

trulymarvelous said:

@slothiegal this is totally where I stand on this, hahah.

Also just to clarify, the bride was 100% okay with pictures being taken of anything and everyone there. She is asking us to not post anything, even if it's just a silly selfie of FI and me after a few glasses of wine, until she get's her professional photos uploaded.

And also, while I think it is silly and inappropriate to ask, I am still refraining from uploading them. I've shared a couple in a private email with FI mother and mine, but have kept it off FB.

My questions was really to see if I was justified in feeling a little irked I couldn't share pictures fun evening we had at her wedding with my friends and family.

I still say I'd be going nuts waiting to see ANY pictures from our wedding until our photographer gave them to us.

I would have stopped at a gas station on the way to the reception just to take a selfie of DH and I and posted it immediately. It's not at her wedding

Not posting selfies it is dumbest thing I've ever heard of...lock down your tagging security before your wedding if you don't want anyone to see an accidental double chin or you want to AW before anyone else can yo everyone who wasn't invited...

badbnagdway · January 2015

WhatawagSBNy said:

But when in a private home for the wedding or reception or after party, I hate people who think they can sneak around with a camera phone and take pictures all over the home, then post them on any site or social media , especially for the purpose of making insulting comments. Guest was invited to the public parts of the home, only, and the hundred friends on Facebook were not invited at all.

I mean, what you are describing is a whole other thing. I guess I would hope that people I would invite to an intimate event at my house would not take pictures and post them for the purpose of mocking me. That is clearly not appropriate or acceptable.

It is also not appropriate to dictate your guests behavior or what they can and cannot do with their own photos.

As to the OP, it was inconsiderate to expect guests to go hiking to get to the ceremony site. At one outdoor wedding I went to, you had to ride a gondola up a mountain to get to the ceremony. The situation was less extreme than what OP is describing, but the b&g at least did provide flip flops for guests in case anyone wanted more comfortable footwear for getting on and off the gondola.

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

Seeing as how my photographer took a cell phone picture of her camera screen of a GREAT shot of DH and I being introduced at the reception (both of us use the picture as our computer backgrounds and got it blown up and hung it in our apartment) then posted it on Facebook immediately, I think it's safe to say I couldn't care less about people posting pictures on social media.

I did have to actually have to speak to several people who posted pictures of our STDates (with our rather unique names and wedding information) on social media to remove them, but pictures of the wedding itself? Post away!

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

MobKaz said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

You might, a hundred people might. But if someone asks you not to at their wedding, request from the host of this private affair, will you then respect their wishes? That is the question of etiquette here. Will you be deliberately disrespectful of the people who care enough to invite you to share their milestone ceremony?

Their request was disrespectful. It is not up to this couple to dictate what I choose to do with my photos. I do not need to be told not to post pictures of the B & G. I always wait to follow the lead of what I see on the page of the B & G. But do not tell me what I can post regarding pictures of myself, friends, or family from an event. That is not within the purview of the couple.

This.

And if people are so worried about their Google Footprint and who has access to their photos and info on FB and social media, then it's the responsibility of those people to control their own privacy settings. It's very easy to set up your FB account so that no one can search for your profile, only friends can see your photos and posts- not even friends of friends, no one can tag you or post anything to your timeline w/o your permission, etc.

That wedding sounded like a pretty big clusterfark up until the reception- off roading for 20 miles to the ceremony site, no shade provided, making guests wait in the heat and sun because the couple was late, the no photo's announcement. Big eye rolls all around from me.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

Ndelible said:

If you are attending an event and asked not post photos, I think it is a request to follow. Social media is the difference. In the old days, it took time to develop the photos; now, not so much. Their event, their desires.

And, its not all about the pro pics. People paying more attention to their phones instead of the occasion...

I mean, when you are at work functions and they request phones off, no pictures.... do you still do it???

This is a strawman argument. No one is ever "fully present" and giving the wedding ceremony their undivided attention the entire time. No one.

People day dream, women snark on other women's clothing, people look around at the scenery, all regardless of whether or not they are snapping a brief photo.

I've been to like 30 weddings. They are all pretty much the same format- bridal party enters, bride walks down aisle, bride and groom stand at altar, officiant leads ceremony- blah blah blah, marriage is a big fucking deal, vows, kissing, husband and wife! Everyone processes out.

I don't need to be paying attention to every.single.word to know and appreciate what's going on.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

trulymarvelous said:

@slothiegal this is totally where I stand on this, hahah.

Also just to clarify, the bride was 100% okay with pictures being taken of anything and everyone there. She is asking us to not post anything, even if it's just a silly selfie of FI and me after a few glasses of wine, until she get's her professional photos uploaded. Then she's going to be waiting a long ass freaking time- and make you all wait. It's going to be at least 30-90 days before she gets her photos, depending on what is in her contract. It's ridiculous to tell you that you can't post photos of yourselves. She needs to get over herself. People's excitemnet over weddings fade shortly after the wedding is over.

And also, while I think it is silly and inappropriate to ask, I am still refraining from uploading them. I've shared a couple in a private email with FI mother and mine, but have kept it off FB.

My questions was really to see if I was justified in feeling a little irked I couldn't share pictures fun evening we had at her wedding with my friends and family.

I still say I'd be going nuts waiting to see ANY pictures from our wedding until our photographer gave them to us.

luckysnorkel · January 2015

PrettyGirlLost said: Ndelible said: If you are attending an event and asked not post photos, I think it is a request to follow. Social media is the difference. In the old days, it took time to develop the photos; now, not so much. Their event, their desires.
And, its not all about the pro pics. People paying more attention to their phones instead of the occasion...
I mean, when you are at work functions and they request phones off, no pictures.... do you still do it??? This is a strawman argument. No one is ever "fully present" and giving the wedding ceremony their undivided attention the entire time. No one.

People day dream, women snark on other women's clothing, people look around at the scenery, all regardless of whether or not they are snapping a brief photo.

I've been to like 30 weddings. They are all pretty much the same format- bridal party enters, bride walks down aisle, bride and groom stand at altar, officiant leads ceremony- blah blah blah, marriage is a big fucking deal, vows, kissing, husband and wife! Everyone processes out.

I don't need to be paying attention to every.single.word to know and appreciate what's going on.

--------------------------------------------------------------(EDIT - I swear there were boxes when I posted this) The bolded is so true. There are a couple pics from my ceremony that show my mom looking behind her at all our guests. Should I have chided her for not being "fully present" at her only daughter's wedding? No, because it's human fucking nature! Hell, I don't even think I was fully present for 100% of my ceremony!

PrettyGirlLost · January 2015

luckysnorkel said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Ndelible said:

If you are attending an event and asked not post photos, I think it is a request to follow. Social media is the difference. In the old days, it took time to develop the photos; now, not so much. Their event, their desires.

And, its not all about the pro pics. People paying more attention to their phones instead of the occasion...

I mean, when you are at work functions and they request phones off, no pictures.... do you still do it???

This is a strawman argument. No one is ever "fully present" and giving the wedding ceremony their undivided attention the entire time. No one.

People day dream, women snark on other women's clothing, people look around at the scenery, all regardless of whether or not they are snapping a brief photo.

I've been to like 30 weddings. They are all pretty much the same format- bridal party enters, bride walks down aisle, bride and groom stand at altar, officiant leads ceremony- blah blah blah, marriage is a big fucking deal, vows, kissing, husband and wife! Everyone processes out.

I don't need to be paying attention to every.single.word to know and appreciate what's going on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

(EDIT - I swear there were boxes when I posted this)

The bolded is so true. There are a couple pics from my ceremony that show my mom looking behind her at all our guests. Should I have chided her for not being "fully present" at her only daughter's wedding? No, because it's human fucking nature! Hell, I don't even think I was fully present for 100% of my ceremony! I know I wasn't. I was looking at he artwork around the altar, trying not to pass out because kneeling for the full ceremony was super uncomfortable and my back was already bothering me that day, etc.

Cookie Pusher · January 2015

I definitely wasn't fully present - I had about 2 bottles of wine in me!

rcher912 · January 2015

I'm sorry, but I'm allowed to take a picture of myself, and I'm allowed to say where I am on my social media accounts. (Some people have been saying selfies are OK, but saying anything/posting about the wedding is not)

Does this mean I can't post a selfie and tag myself and my FI with "Having a great time and X and Y's wedding!"

I definitely get not taking pics or posting during the ceremony. But come on, no posting until professional pics are back?? I'd lose anything I did take that day by then!

princessofgenovia · January 2015

WhatawagSBNy said:

But when in a private home for the wedding or reception or after party, I hate people who think they can sneak around with a camera phone and take pictures all over the home, then post them on any site or social media , especially for the purpose of making insulting comments.

You are friends with some very terrible people.

I've hosted several parties and been to plenty as well. No one has ever snuck around taking photos with the sole purpose of mocking them later. My friends are better people then that.

luckysnorkel · January 2015

Yeah, I gotta say I don't get the reasoning behind making guests wait to post photos until pro pics are received. Even if I didn't lose them/forget about them/whatever by then, I'm definitely not gonna want to post my crappy cell phone pics once all the nice shots are on social media!

princessofgenovia · January 2015

I gotta be real. I find wedding ceremonies kind of dull. I went to one wedding with a friend and she kept whispering to me "They need mics I can't hear what they're saying". Really? You need to hear?

Ok it goes like this: Do you promise to not fuck around, and try to love this person and stick it out come hell or high water? Yeah? Ok good. You, same stuff, you in? Awesome, kiss each other.

I'm usually day dreaming and wondering how close to the end we are. I don't expect anyone to be fully present at my wedding. Just physically sit there and that's more then enough for me.

slothiegal · January 2015

princessofgenovia said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

But when in a private home for the wedding or reception or after party, I hate people who think they can sneak around with a camera phone and take pictures all over the home, then post them on any site or social media , especially for the purpose of making insulting comments.

You are friends with some very terrible people.

I've hosted several parties and been to plenty as well. No one has ever snuck around taking photos with the sole purpose of mocking them later. My friends are better people then that.

Dude, seriously. Stop inviting these people into your home, if this is a (bizarre) real thing.

lyndausvi · January 2015

I never post pictures on social media without peoples permission. I don't also take pictures of people or their homes, or kids for that matter, without permission either.

It's a self-imposed rule that I think is respectful to other people. Weddings or otherwise. It's just what I do.

99% of the pictures I take never end up on social media either.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

Wait, I have to be the idiot and ask--are you not supposed to put pictures of B&G on social media during the wedding? Obviously I would never do so before the ceremony, but after? During the reception? If that is against etiquette, I have to admit to making that mistake. Good thing the B&G didn't mind. I can see how some people might want to keep that shit on lock now that I know a bit more (aka have read this thread.)

As a guest, I love looking through social media posts during/after the event. I think it is fun to see how other people captured the moments. I also think it is seriously controlling to say people can't post pictures of themselves -- re: OP. It just seems a bit anal. Though, obviously I might not be the best advisor in that category.

OP -- I thought you were going to say someone stepped in cow/horse poo. As a horse owner, I almost burst out laughing, because that doesn't bother me on the daily, but if I was dressed for a wedding I would LOSE my mind (then laugh about it later, hopefully.)

trulymarvelous · January 2015

apromise22 said:

I promise I'm not trying to throw shade, but when people make posts like this, with so many specifics about the wedding and their own identity (that she's the FSIL of the bride), aren't they nervous that the bride might find the post?

Yes, it did make me a littler nervous and I hope she doesn't read it. But I am also fairly certain she is not a knottie (We're in a country where it's just not as popular as it is in the states, and also doesn't really like being on the computer) and won't know about the post.

Went to a wedding this weekend.. photos are banned!

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