Creative ways to ask friends to be Bridesmaids

themermaidbride118 · December 2014

@jen4949 I agree. That's why I chose to "cheat" (for lack of a better word). As you mentioned, I feel asking them in a private conversation, individually is the right way to go. There's less pressure for them to say yes and it feels more intimate that way, rather than "hey I want you all there".

IsaL17 · January 2015

I got asked to be a bridesmaid with a little box popping the question and a handmade bracelet.

I think I'm doing the ring pop thingy haha. I'll have only 4 bridesmaids & my MOH, and I know they will think it's cute & fun, and won't say no :P

Jen4948 · January 2015

IsaL17 said:
I got asked to be a bridesmaid with a little box popping the question and a handmade bracelet.
I think I'm doing the ring pop thingy haha. I'll have only 4 bridesmaids & my MOH, and I know they will think it's cute & fun, and won't say no :P

How do you know that? Did you ask them how they'd feel about it? If someone "popped" the bridesmaid question to me I wouldn't think it was cute or love it-regardless of how much I loved the bride. And if I couldn't say yes, having the question "popped" would make me feel even more uncomfortable than I'd normally feel.

And sometimes people have to say no regardless of how "cute" or "fun" the bride thinks "popping the question" is. Don't make it harder for your potential bridesmaids by making an unnecessary over-the-top production out of asking them.

anne2018 · January 2015

I would just call. My daughter has thought "creative" ways of being invited to be a bridesmaid are hokey.

WhatawagSBNy · January 2015

A few years back a friend put a lot of time into planning something special, and all four said No. Kind of hard for them too.
But the date was set for after 1 had surgery and would be in a body cast, another it was a sister's wedding, another was scheduled to take the bar exam, I don't remember fourth reason but legitimate.
All would have accepted on a better date. Friends have lives and other things going on.

Go low key, meet or talk on the phone privately.
You may have thought of several other people before choosing these. You may need to change plans. So do not tell anybody until each says yes in private.

dragonavicious · January 2015

The main thing is to read the crowd. My sisters are my maids of honor and for them I made a little box and put a scroll in it telling them how much they meant to me and how I want them to be my MOH's . (They already knew it was built in but they just needed the formal go ahead).

My friends had no idea (one hadn't had me or my sister in her wedding because she had a big family and the other wasn't married yet) so we went geocaching (which is like a scavenger hunt with GPS) The first place was normal and the second stop was under a street lamp. The boxes had their names, which at first they thought was weird, then they opened it and found a paper asking them to be my bridesmaids. There were tears.

To anyone else that would be weird and awkward, but it made sense to my friends and so it was special.

I think you need to think about personal interests and preferences and tailor it to that. If your friend is really sentimental, they may want you to go all out. If they hate surprises then you might want to sit them down, one on one, and ask them formally. Discuss it. It just depends on who they are.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

dragonavicious said:

The main thing is to read the crowd. My sisters are my maids of honor and for them I made a little box and put a scroll in it telling them how much they meant to me and how I want them to be my MOH's . (They already knew it was built in but they just needed the formal go ahead).

My friends had no idea (one hadn't had me or my sister in her wedding because she had a big family and the other wasn't married yet) so we went geocaching (which is like a scavenger hunt with GPS) The first place was normal and the second stop was under a street lamp. The boxes had their names, which at first they thought was weird, then they opened it and found a paper asking them to be my bridesmaids. There were tears.

To anyone else that would be weird and awkward, but it made sense to my friends and so it was special.

I think you need to think about personal interests and preferences and tailor it to that. If your friend is really sentimental, they may want you to go all out. If they hate surprises then you might want to sit them down, one on one, and ask them formally. Discuss it. It just depends on who they are.

Geocaching?! Nerd! But seriously, I gotta say that FH would get bonus points for giving me my ring via GPS.

Jen4948 · January 2015

dragonavicious said:
The main thing is to read the crowd. My sisters are my maids of honor and for them I made a little box and put a scroll in it telling them how much they meant to me and how I want them to be my MOH's . (They already knew it was built in but they just needed the formal go ahead).

My friends had no idea (one hadn't had me or my sister in her wedding because she had a big family and the other wasn't married yet) so we went geocaching (which is like a scavenger hunt with GPS) The first place was normal and the second stop was under a street lamp. The boxes had their names, which at first they thought was weird, then they opened it and found a paper asking them to be my bridesmaids. There were tears.

To anyone else that would be weird and awkward, but it made sense to my friends and so it was special.

I think you need to think about personal interests and preferences and tailor it to that. If your friend is really sentimental, they may want you to go all out. If they hate surprises then you might want to sit them down, one on one, and ask them formally. Discuss it. It just depends on who they are.

And if they have to say no, being "read in a crowd" is not going to make them appreciate any of this.

Just ask them individually in private. Don't make a big to-do out of it. Don't "tailor it to individual preferences," "pop the question," or any other "cute" crap. All that does is make someone who has to say no feel worse about it.

WhatawagSBNy · January 2015

There is a time for the special gesture not appropriate now, at the time of the rehearsal dinner, or other party close to the wedding, a thank you for being here gift and mention.

amarie688 · February 2015

I ordered wine bottle labels from icustomlabel on Etsy (they have TONS of options), but then the post office messed up the shipping (as in they were an hour away from my house and then went across the country for a few days), and I was too excited to wait any longer so I asked everyone in person anyway, without the wine lol I did give it to them later as a gift because they were personalized but I also knew at that point they would have been just as excited with or without the "proposal gift"

Jen4948 · February 2015

Knottie2189685 said:
I ordered wine bottle labels from icustomlabel on Etsy (they have TONS of options), but then the post office messed up the shipping (as in they were an hour away from my house and then went across the country for a few days), and I was too excited to wait any longer so I asked everyone in person anyway, without the wine lol I did give it to them later as a gift because they were personalized but I also knew at that point they would have been just as excited with or without the "proposal gift"

No, you didn't " know" that-you just assumed it. And you may have made then very uncomfortable by putting them in a position where they couldn't decline if they wanted to or had to without a ton of awkwardness respect ally not not asking each one privately. Even if none of them said so out loud, at least one may have felt that way but kept her mouth shut so as to avoid making you unhappy. You stroked your own ego at their expense with over-the-top theatricality. And you clearly didn't lurk or read this thread all the way through before posting this or you would have known that.

amarie688 · February 2015

@Jen4948 I actually did ask each of them individually, but thanks for the lecture.

Jen4948 · February 2015

@Jen4948 I actually did ask each of them individually, but thanks for the lecture.

I apologize for the lecture, but it's really aimed at lurkers and future brides more than yourself. So, for lurkers and future brides: Just ask your bridesmaids individually, in private, without gifts, "popping the question," or "creativity." You don't know that anyone you ask will be so excited and thrilled to be asked that they'll say yes or appreciate your big gesture. And if they have to say no, it just makes it harder for them when you ask them in a "creative," "clever," "unique," or "original" way.

Creative ways to ask friends to be Bridesmaids

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