I know that we, as brides, cannot/shouldn't dictate how our bridesmaids wear their hair, and I did not intend to. However, does this rule extend to a headpiece? One of my BM's emailed me that she was going to wear a piece of crochet lace in her hair as part of her hairstyle. My wedding is navy and gold, and the BMs dresses are a boatneck, very preppy style (think Kate Spade), and my wedding dress is satin, and there's no lace at all at any of the wedding. I responded with a question about whether she thinks it would match the dresses and she responded with "Why do I need to match your wedding?"
Am I allowed to tell her that the lace thing is a no-go? Or at the very least that everybody should do it or nobody? They are all wearing the same dress, have the same jewelry (I bought them jewelry as part of their gift), can do their own makeup/pick out their own (gold) shoes, and I'm paying for all of the hair. I think it would look odd with the dresses and would look strange to have one BM (not the MOH) with a headpiece and the rest? I feel like I should compromise here but I'm not sure how to approach it.