How to Elope - Please teach me.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Considering eloping. What do I need to know? What do I need to do? Do I tell anyone? How does it work?

cgss11 · February 2015

You go get married, then tell people? You could send an announcement I guess.

No parties, showers, receptions, gifts, expected etc.

Not sure what there is to know?

LondonLisa · February 2015

adk19 said:

Considering eloping. What do I need to know? What do I need to do? Do I tell anyone? How does it work?

Eloping is where you and your fi get married just the two of you. Some people do it on holiday in an exotic location, others just go down to the courthouse. Often the couple don't tell anyone until after the fact and then send wedding announcements. If you are inviting your parents or any other guests, that is a private ceremony, not an elopement.

@Jells2dot0 eloped and has really great advice about it.

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

Get married without telling anyone. Pretty simple. You can do it at a local courthouse or a courthouse somewhere else. Google what the marriage licence criteria are, and go get one. Easy peasy.

YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE A "REAL WEDDING" LATER WHERE YOU DRESS UP IN A PRETTY DRESS AND WALK DOWN AN AISLE.

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

You just go to the courthouse (or some destination if you want to do it that way). You'll sign some papers and BOOM you're married.

It's really personal preference if you want to tell people before hand or afterwards. To avoid drama, I'd just tell people after the fact. I'd tell VIPs in person or over the phone and then send wedding announcements to everyone else. Wedding announcements shouldn't have registry info on them. @CMGragain has good wording for this.

princessofgenovia · February 2015

adk19 said:

Considering eloping. What do I need to know? Where you want to get married and the laws regarding getting a marriage license wherever that is. Could be where you currently live, could be some destination, whatever. Pick a place.
What do I need to do? Get a marriage license and a person to marry you. Google the place you want to get married with "how do I get a marriage license" to find all the info you need.
Do I tell anyone? After you're married yes. Before...well you should tell your FI, otherwise keep mum.
How does it work? Basically like any other marriage except there's no reception/guests. Just you, your FI, and whomever is marrying you (and a witness (or 2) if required).

Also: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+to+elope

charcoalandblush · February 2015

One thing to be aware of - most people that I know who have eloped have done it last-minute/quickly. If that is your intention, be sure to check the laws of your particular state. In my state, for example, you can't get married less than 6 days after your marriage license is issued (there is a 5-day waiting period). So to get married on Saturday, you have to apply for your marriage license on Monday. Judges can waive this requirement, but they sometimes may require you to give them a good reason.

Also, when my aunt and uncle got married they had to do some sort of blood test to check for genetic diseases (like Tay Sachs, etc.). This depends on the state that you live in, so be sure to check for those requirements too.

Other than that, you literally just need to get a marriage license and find someone to marry you. When two friends of mine eloped (basically eloped, anyway... I went with them to keep their 1 year old son entertained/off their hands), the marriage license office didn't have someone on site to perform marriages. Instead they gave them a list of officiants who would come to the courthouse to perform ceremonies on short notice. They called a few and got someone maybe 45 minutes later. Then they went an immediately filed the certificate and it was done.

And also, do not have a PPD.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Here's my deal... I had always planned on having an "offbeat" wedding; no aisle, no flowers, lots of beer, great food, good friends and family, outdoor/backyard BBQ-type feel. Whenever I considered having a wedding in secret, I always thought my mom would be hurt. Well, last week my parents were visiting and mom and I started planning my hypothetical wedding (boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, just bought a house, are discussing the tax benefits of marrying, but are not "engaged"). The guest list is going to be a nightmare, mom wants to invite people I'd rather not invite, but mom wants to give us $ because she gave my sister whatever amount and wants it to be fair. Boyfriend always figured I wanted a DW, but I changed my mind about that after the hassle of my sister's DW. During this impromptu planning session with mom, she said we should just go to the courthouse and get married (like she and dad did). So, I guess mom won't be hurt if she's not at my wedding.

Sooooo, Hawaii is expensive, but I want to go there at least once in my life. Why not spend the money we would have spent on a big blowout party on taking a nice week in Hawaii just the two of us? We like taking vacations to sunny places in the middle of Chicago winters. So what about March? What about March 8, 2016? Both our parents have March anniversaries. Our first date was on the 8th of one month, he first told me loved me on the 8th of another month, we signed our first apartment lease together on the the 8th of another month. It would give us a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer. And I'd like a year to allow us both to lose some weight as a wedding (and wearing a swimsuit in March) may just be the incentive I need to finally get on the ball with fitness.

Who do I send announcements to? Everyone I would have invited to a bigger wedding? Just my VIPs? Who would expect a call instead? If I tell people ahead of time is it still an elopement, or must elopements be secret?

beachyone15 · February 2015

Do people usually wait a year to elope???

lovegood90 · February 2015

adk19 said:

Here's my deal... I had always planned on having an "offbeat" wedding; no aisle, no flowers, lots of beer, great food, good friends and family, outdoor/backyard BBQ-type feel. Whenever I considered having a wedding in secret, I always thought my mom would be hurt. Well, last week my parents were visiting and mom and I started planning my hypothetical wedding (boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, just bought a house, are discussing the tax benefits of marrying, but are not "engaged"). The guest list is going to be a nightmare, mom wants to invite people I'd rather not invite, but mom wants to give us $ because she gave my sister whatever amount and wants it to be fair. Boyfriend always figured I wanted a DW, but I changed my mind about that after the hassle of my sister's DW. During this impromptu planning session with mom, she said we should just go to the courthouse and get married (like she and dad did). So, I guess mom won't be hurt if she's not at my wedding.

Sooooo, Hawaii is expensive, but I want to go there at least once in my life. Why not spend the money we would have spent on a big blowout party on taking a nice week in Hawaii just the two of us? We like taking vacations to sunny places in the middle of Chicago winters. So what about March? What about March 8, 2016? Both our parents have March anniversaries. Our first date was on the 8th of one month, he first told me loved me on the 8th of another month, we signed our first apartment lease together on the the 8th of another month. It would give us a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer. And I'd like a year to allow us both to lose some weight as a wedding (and wearing a swimsuit in March) may just be the incentive I need to finally get on the ball with fitness.

Who do I send announcements to? Everyone I would have invited to a bigger wedding? Just my VIPs? Who would expect a call instead? If I tell people ahead of time is it still an elopement, or must elopements be secret?

If you tell people ahead of time it's not an elopement but a private wedding. I personally would only send announcements to my VIPs, but it's up to you.

ETA: Do you truly want to elope? If so, that's totally fine. I'm just asking because it sounds like a big part of the reason is to avoid the stress of your mom controlling the guest list. If you actually want to celebrate with family/friends but not the stress of your mom, then you can just decline her money and throw something that you/your Fi can afford. That way you get full control of the guest list.

ohannabelle · February 2015

Yep. Hawaii sounds like a dream elopement.

How to elope? Specifically, elope means running away, in secret, to get married. So if you share your plans with friends and family, you're not so much eloping as just getting married in Hawaii.

Either way, do it, come back, send announcements to anybody you'd like to know.

Done.

And agreed with lovegood90, make sure that this is genuinely how you want to be married, and that you aren't giving up something you want to avoid conflict, because this only happens once, and you don't want regrets.

KatWAG · February 2015

Do you need a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer?

I am in Chicago right now. Sitting in about 20 inches of snow. So this March 2015 sounds much better.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

lovegood90 said:

adk19 said:

Here's my deal... I had always planned on having an "offbeat" wedding; no aisle, no flowers, lots of beer, great food, good friends and family, outdoor/backyard BBQ-type feel. Whenever I considered having a wedding in secret, I always thought my mom would be hurt. Well, last week my parents were visiting and mom and I started planning my hypothetical wedding (boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, just bought a house, are discussing the tax benefits of marrying, but are not "engaged"). The guest list is going to be a nightmare, mom wants to invite people I'd rather not invite, but mom wants to give us $ because she gave my sister whatever amount and wants it to be fair. Boyfriend always figured I wanted a DW, but I changed my mind about that after the hassle of my sister's DW. During this impromptu planning session with mom, she said we should just go to the courthouse and get married (like she and dad did). So, I guess mom won't be hurt if she's not at my wedding.

Sooooo, Hawaii is expensive, but I want to go there at least once in my life. Why not spend the money we would have spent on a big blowout party on taking a nice week in Hawaii just the two of us? We like taking vacations to sunny places in the middle of Chicago winters. So what about March? What about March 8, 2016? Both our parents have March anniversaries. Our first date was on the 8th of one month, he first told me loved me on the 8th of another month, we signed our first apartment lease together on the the 8th of another month. It would give us a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer. And I'd like a year to allow us both to lose some weight as a wedding (and wearing a swimsuit in March) may just be the incentive I need to finally get on the ball with fitness.

Who do I send announcements to? Everyone I would have invited to a bigger wedding? Just my VIPs? Who would expect a call instead? If I tell people ahead of time is it still an elopement, or must elopements be secret?

If you tell people ahead of time it's not an elopement but a private wedding. I personally would only send announcements to my VIPs, but it's up to you.
ETA: Do you truly want to elope? If so, that's totally fine. I'm just asking because it sounds like a big part of the reason is to avoid the stress of your mom controlling the guest list. If you actually want to celebrate with family/friends but not the stress of your mom, then you can just decline her money and throw something that you/your Fi can afford. That way you get full control of the guest list.

I don't know if I truly want to elope. I think it would be easier, that's for sure. I keep wanting to plan around Chicago weather, the Denver public school calendar, and the fertility schedules of family members who keep having babies. And I'm cheap. I chose a house over an engagement ring. Planning a vacation for a year from now and getting married while there seems to be the best use of our money. We can host smaller backyard BBQs over the next few summers to see all our friends, the big blowout thing doesn't seem as important.

lovegood90 · February 2015

adk19 said:

lovegood90 said:

adk19 said:

Here's my deal... I had always planned on having an "offbeat" wedding; no aisle, no flowers, lots of beer, great food, good friends and family, outdoor/backyard BBQ-type feel. Whenever I considered having a wedding in secret, I always thought my mom would be hurt. Well, last week my parents were visiting and mom and I started planning my hypothetical wedding (boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, just bought a house, are discussing the tax benefits of marrying, but are not "engaged"). The guest list is going to be a nightmare, mom wants to invite people I'd rather not invite, but mom wants to give us $ because she gave my sister whatever amount and wants it to be fair. Boyfriend always figured I wanted a DW, but I changed my mind about that after the hassle of my sister's DW. During this impromptu planning session with mom, she said we should just go to the courthouse and get married (like she and dad did). So, I guess mom won't be hurt if she's not at my wedding.

Sooooo, Hawaii is expensive, but I want to go there at least once in my life. Why not spend the money we would have spent on a big blowout party on taking a nice week in Hawaii just the two of us? We like taking vacations to sunny places in the middle of Chicago winters. So what about March? What about March 8, 2016? Both our parents have March anniversaries. Our first date was on the 8th of one month, he first told me loved me on the 8th of another month, we signed our first apartment lease together on the the 8th of another month. It would give us a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer. And I'd like a year to allow us both to lose some weight as a wedding (and wearing a swimsuit in March) may just be the incentive I need to finally get on the ball with fitness.

Who do I send announcements to? Everyone I would have invited to a bigger wedding? Just my VIPs? Who would expect a call instead? If I tell people ahead of time is it still an elopement, or must elopements be secret?

If you tell people ahead of time it's not an elopement but a private wedding. I personally would only send announcements to my VIPs, but it's up to you.
ETA: Do you truly want to elope? If so, that's totally fine. I'm just asking because it sounds like a big part of the reason is to avoid the stress of your mom controlling the guest list. If you actually want to celebrate with family/friends but not the stress of your mom, then you can just decline her money and throw something that you/your Fi can afford. That way you get full control of the guest list.

I don't know if I truly want to elope. I think it would be easier, that's for sure. I keep wanting to plan around Chicago weather, the Denver public school calendar, and the fertility schedules of family members who keep having babies. And I'm cheap. I chose a house over an engagement ring. Planning a vacation for a year from now and getting married while there seems to be the best use of our money. We can host smaller backyard BBQs over the next few summers to see all our friends, the big blowout thing doesn't seem as important.

That makes sense. If you think you want to have some kind of celebration like a backyard thing, why not have a small backyard ceremony/reception that you and your Fi can afford, then go to Hawaii on honeymoon? Just another option!

[Deleted User] · February 2015

lovegood90 said:

adk19 said:

lovegood90 said:

adk19 said:

Here's my deal... I had always planned on having an "offbeat" wedding; no aisle, no flowers, lots of beer, great food, good friends and family, outdoor/backyard BBQ-type feel. Whenever I considered having a wedding in secret, I always thought my mom would be hurt. Well, last week my parents were visiting and mom and I started planning my hypothetical wedding (boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, just bought a house, are discussing the tax benefits of marrying, but are not "engaged"). The guest list is going to be a nightmare, mom wants to invite people I'd rather not invite, but mom wants to give us $ because she gave my sister whatever amount and wants it to be fair. Boyfriend always figured I wanted a DW, but I changed my mind about that after the hassle of my sister's DW. During this impromptu planning session with mom, she said we should just go to the courthouse and get married (like she and dad did). So, I guess mom won't be hurt if she's not at my wedding.

Sooooo, Hawaii is expensive, but I want to go there at least once in my life. Why not spend the money we would have spent on a big blowout party on taking a nice week in Hawaii just the two of us? We like taking vacations to sunny places in the middle of Chicago winters. So what about March? What about March 8, 2016? Both our parents have March anniversaries. Our first date was on the 8th of one month, he first told me loved me on the 8th of another month, we signed our first apartment lease together on the the 8th of another month. It would give us a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer. And I'd like a year to allow us both to lose some weight as a wedding (and wearing a swimsuit in March) may just be the incentive I need to finally get on the ball with fitness.

Who do I send announcements to? Everyone I would have invited to a bigger wedding? Just my VIPs? Who would expect a call instead? If I tell people ahead of time is it still an elopement, or must elopements be secret?

If you tell people ahead of time it's not an elopement but a private wedding. I personally would only send announcements to my VIPs, but it's up to you.
ETA: Do you truly want to elope? If so, that's totally fine. I'm just asking because it sounds like a big part of the reason is to avoid the stress of your mom controlling the guest list. If you actually want to celebrate with family/friends but not the stress of your mom, then you can just decline her money and throw something that you/your Fi can afford. That way you get full control of the guest list.

I don't know if I truly want to elope. I think it would be easier, that's for sure. I keep wanting to plan around Chicago weather, the Denver public school calendar, and the fertility schedules of family members who keep having babies. And I'm cheap. I chose a house over an engagement ring. Planning a vacation for a year from now and getting married while there seems to be the best use of our money. We can host smaller backyard BBQs over the next few summers to see all our friends, the big blowout thing doesn't seem as important.

That makes sense. If you think you want to have some kind of celebration like a backyard thing, why not have a small backyard ceremony/reception that you and your Fi can afford, then go to Hawaii on honeymoon? Just another option!

Can't really have a "small" backyard ceremony/reception if I expect people to come in to Chicago from Denver, D.C., Minneapolis, Los Angeles, and Rio de Janeiro. These are the cities where my VIPs live.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

KatWAG said:

Do you need a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer?

I am in Chicago right now. Sitting in about 20 inches of snow. So this March 2015 sounds much better.

No, I need a year to save the money to pay for the Hawaiian vacation. We bought a house in September, still haven't bought the furniture we want to furnish it, already have home improvement projects scheduled. I'm trying to be responsible with my money.

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

adk19 said:

lovegood90 said:

adk19 said:

Here's my deal... I had always planned on having an "offbeat" wedding; no aisle, no flowers, lots of beer, great food, good friends and family, outdoor/backyard BBQ-type feel. Whenever I considered having a wedding in secret, I always thought my mom would be hurt. Well, last week my parents were visiting and mom and I started planning my hypothetical wedding (boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, just bought a house, are discussing the tax benefits of marrying, but are not "engaged"). The guest list is going to be a nightmare, mom wants to invite people I'd rather not invite, but mom wants to give us $ because she gave my sister whatever amount and wants it to be fair. Boyfriend always figured I wanted a DW, but I changed my mind about that after the hassle of my sister's DW. During this impromptu planning session with mom, she said we should just go to the courthouse and get married (like she and dad did). So, I guess mom won't be hurt if she's not at my wedding.

Sooooo, Hawaii is expensive, but I want to go there at least once in my life. Why not spend the money we would have spent on a big blowout party on taking a nice week in Hawaii just the two of us? We like taking vacations to sunny places in the middle of Chicago winters. So what about March? What about March 8, 2016? Both our parents have March anniversaries. Our first date was on the 8th of one month, he first told me loved me on the 8th of another month, we signed our first apartment lease together on the the 8th of another month. It would give us a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer. And I'd like a year to allow us both to lose some weight as a wedding (and wearing a swimsuit in March) may just be the incentive I need to finally get on the ball with fitness.

Who do I send announcements to? Everyone I would have invited to a bigger wedding? Just my VIPs? Who would expect a call instead? If I tell people ahead of time is it still an elopement, or must elopements be secret?

If you tell people ahead of time it's not an elopement but a private wedding. I personally would only send announcements to my VIPs, but it's up to you.
ETA: Do you truly want to elope? If so, that's totally fine. I'm just asking because it sounds like a big part of the reason is to avoid the stress of your mom controlling the guest list. If you actually want to celebrate with family/friends but not the stress of your mom, then you can just decline her money and throw something that you/your Fi can afford. That way you get full control of the guest list.

I don't know if I truly want to elope. I think it would be easier, that's for sure. I keep wanting to plan around Chicago weather, the Denver public school calendar, and the fertility schedules of family members who keep having babies. And I'm logical cheap. I chose a house over an engagement ring. Planning a vacation for a year from now and getting married while there seems to be the best use of our money. We can host smaller backyard BBQs over the next few summers to see all our friends, the big blowout thing doesn't seem as important.

Fixed that for you ;-)

Eh, if I were you, I'd just go to the courthouse now and get er done. Plan the vacation in Hawaii anyway. That way, in the year that you're planning your Hawaii vacation, people can't pile on asking to come along or trying to guilt you out of your choice to have a private wedding.

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

adk19 said:
I don't know if I truly want to elope. I think it would be easier, that's for sure. I keep wanting to plan around Chicago weather, the Denver public school calendar, and the fertility schedules of family members who keep having babies. And I'm cheap. I chose a house over an engagement ring. Planning a vacation for a year from now and getting married while there seems to be the best use of our money. We can host smaller backyard BBQs over the next few summers to see all our friends, the big blowout thing doesn't seem as important.

It's a lot to juggle and consider. That's for sure. But you literally cannot plan around everyone else. Eventually, you just have to pick a date and a location and communicate it. If they can come, they'll come. If they can't, they won't. That's how all weddings are - some people make it, some people don't.

If I were you, I would plan to get married while on vacation. I would probably make it a DW and invite your VIPs.

Since it sounds like you'll be inviting a small group, just take everyone out to dinner as your reception. If you're in Hawaii, maybe you could find a way to do a luau reception - that'd be pretty cool.

rcher912 · February 2015

OP, your head is in the right place.

If you throw out the words "elopement" and "DW" and "private wedding", it sounds like you have a lovely, meaningful, fun Hawaiian trip coming up next year.

Since March 8 2016 is good for you, I'd honestly just take a few months (or more), and sit on this for awhile. Don't tell anyone just yet IRL, but stew on whether or not you really want to elope or just have a very small, private DW.

But yeah, throw out the terms for a few months and see how you and FI feel about it.

KatWAG · February 2015

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

Do you need a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer?

I am in Chicago right now. Sitting in about 20 inches of snow. So this March 2015 sounds much better.
No, I need a year to save the money to pay for the Hawaiian vacation. We bought a house in September, still haven't bought the furniture we want to furnish it, already have home improvement projects scheduled. I'm trying to be responsible with my money.

I thought you said your mom was going to give you the same amount of money she gave your sister. And that you were putting that towards Hawaii. Are you using that money for somethign else?

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

Honestly you don't really sound like you know what you want.

You should want to get married for much more than just tax benefits. And if you want certain people to attend, but fear the "big wedding" because of your mother then you refuse her financial contributions, you learn how to say no to her and set and enforce boundaries, and then you plan the wedding that you and your FI both want on your own timeline.

If you are in no rush to get married, and it doesn't seem that you are, then you can have a year or two year or three year engagement and save money towards the wedding you both want.

But you shouldn't plan an elopement for next year for the sole purpose to avoid conflict.

There's no reason why you can't have a backyard wedding and invite all those VIPs, if that's what you really want to do. And don't plan your wedding around anyone else. People arent going to plan their lives around your wedding- they will keep having babies etc.

I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married.

MandyMost · February 2015

If you decide to get married in Hawaii in March, 2016 then you can do it one of three ways:

1. Tell everyone you feel like telling that you're engaged, and you're getting married in Hawaii, but it's a private ceremony and no guests are invited. You don't get to have any pre-wedding parties (showers, engagement parties, etc.) because you can't invite anyone to anything wedding-related who's not invited to the wedding, and you'll have 0 guests. After you get back from Hawaii, I'd send announcements to at least your VIPs, but probably a larger group of friends/family as well. Just stating you got married.

2. Don't tell anyone you're engaged, and then go to Hawaii and get married. When you get back, you send the same announcements that you would have sent above. Really, the only difference is that here you keep it a secret, above you tell people. There are pros and cons to each.

3. Decide to make it a destination wedding, and invite your VIPs to come. Perhaps the money your parents are planning to give you will cover airfare for the guests you want to be there (just your parents? parents and siblings?). You send invites before the wedding as per usual, and you can still send wedding announcements after it's over if you so choose.

CMGragain · February 2015

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them.. They are paid their salary for their vacation time.
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them.. They are paid their salary for their vacation time.
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.

Why does one need vacation days to plan a wedding though?

And then wouldn't you get married and take your honeymoon over the summer? OP was talking about a March 2016 elopement. . . which would be in the middle of the school year, right?

KatWAG · February 2015

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them..
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.

-----

Teachers get plenty of vacation time. They get summer off, plus spring break and winter break and most federal holiday. Some school systems also get a fall break.

Also, every school system is different. Not all school systems pay their teachers for 10 months and then get laid off for two months.

I work in corporate america and get 22 paid days off, which is a ton of time off. And yes, I can take those day when I want (pending manager approval) but that is still less than half the time that time get in the summer alone.

CMGragain · February 2015

Nope. Sorry. Teachers are contract workers for ten months out of the year. Their contract does NOT include any vacation time. There are no paid days off. They work for whatever number of days are specified by their contract. No vacation. No flexibility.
Time off? Sure! How would you like to be unemployed for two months of every year? This is why we see our teachers working behind a counter at Sears during the summer months.
You don't know my former profession.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

KatWAG said:

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them..
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.

-----

Teachers get plenty of vacation time. They get summer off, plus spring break and winter break and most federal holiday. Some school systems also get a fall break.

Also, every school system is different. Not all school systems pay their teachers for 10 months and then get laid off for two months.

I work in corporate america and get 22 paid days off, which is a ton of time off. And yes, I can take those day when I want (pending manager approval) but that is still less than half the time that time get in the summer alone.

This has always been my opinion, as well.

And for the record I have a "cushy" academic, university position that now gives me 20 PTO days, 2 personal days, paid sick days, most Federal holidays off, and the week between Christmas and New Years off. So my confusion had nothing to do with hating on teachers because they are teachers.

I just didn't understand what the OP was getting at. . .and still don't.

CMGragain · February 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them.. They are paid their salary for their vacation time.
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.

Why does one need vacation days to plan a wedding though?

And then wouldn't you get married and take your honeymoon over the summer? OP was talking about a March 2016 elopement. . . which would be in the middle of the school year, right?

Planning a wedding can be done at any time. Teachers do this all the time. But, getting married and going on your honeymoon?
Like I said earlier, Colorado has messed around with the traditional school schedule this year. The new schedule for next year has not yet been announced. It is possible that there would be a spring break in March where the OP could elope and have her honeymoon, but we won't know for about another month.
I predict that this thread will explode when the teachers get home tonight and read this. Sorry, OP!

KatWAG · February 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them.. They are paid their salary for their vacation time.
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.
Why does one need vacation days to plan a wedding though?

And then wouldn't you get married and take your honeymoon over the summer? OP was talking about a March 2016 elopement. . . which would be in the middle of the school year, right?

I think its the OP's VIPs who work for the Denver school system, since the OP said she lives in Chicago

CMGragain · February 2015

OK. I missed that.

Back to the original topic, OP, an elopement is a couple who wants to get married, an officiant, a license and witnesses. No guests. Nobody knows in advance.
You send formal marriage announcements to everybody you know AFTER the ceremony. Do not expect gifts. No reception. Easy!

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them.. They are paid their salary for their vacation time.
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.

Why does one need vacation days to plan a wedding though?

And then wouldn't you get married and take your honeymoon over the summer? OP was talking about a March 2016 elopement. . . which would be in the middle of the school year, right?

Planning a wedding can be done at any time. Teachers do this all the time. But, getting married and going on your honeymoon?
Like I said earlier, Colorado has messed around with the traditional school schedule this year. The new schedule for next year has not yet been announced. It is possible that there would be a spring break in March where the OP could elope and have her honeymoon Which is why I said I was confused about the OP's comment. If this is the case, I hope she clarifies, but that would make sense. KatWag's comment also makes sense. but we won't know for about another month.
I predict that this thread will explode when the teachers get home tonight and read this. Sorry, OP!

There's no reason for the teachers to get all butthurt and make the thread explode. I was asking a question for clarification. Like I said above, I wasn't bashing teachers, I just didn't understand the relevance of the comment.

CMGragain said:

Nope. Sorry. Teachers are contract workers for ten months out of the year. Their contract does NOT include any vacation time. There are no paid days off. They work for whatever number of days are specified by their contract. No vacation. No flexibility.
Time off? Sure! How would you like to be unemployed for two three months of every year? I wouldn't, which is why I'm not in a field that does that. However I am in a field where my job is at the whim of obtaining grant money, so it's not like I have job security. This is why we see our teachers working behind a counter at Sears during the summer months. I have never, ever known any teachers who work a 2nd job over the summer. If people do, I can understand why, but none of the teachers that I had as a child and none of the people I personally know who teach work over the summer.
You don't know my former profession.

How to Elope - Please teach me.

Re: How to Elope - Please teach me.

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