How to Elope - Please teach me.

wrigleyville · February 2015

All of my teacher friends have their paychecks spread out over 12 months, so they ARE paid during the summer and do not need to work a second job.

Additionally, the reason those teacher friends of mine don't get "vacation time" is because they get multiple days/weeks off during the school year. There's no need for "vacation time" when you get federal holidays, winter break, spring break, and summer break off. As their salary is for the entire year (if they have it spread out), those most certainly are paid vacation days.

Even accounting for all of the "outside of class" work teachers do, and I know it's a LOT, most of my friends still get much, much more time off than I do.

I wanted to be a teacher for many years. I had a double major in Psychology and Education. I did my research and decided teaching wasn't for me, but I was completely familiar with our state's practices as I was not about to go into a profession I was unfamiliar with.

KatWAG · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Nope. Sorry. Teachers are contract workers for ten months out of the year. Their contract does NOT include any vacation time. There are no paid days off. They work for whatever number of days are specified by their contract. No vacation. No flexibility.
Time off? Sure! How would you like to be unemployed for two months of every year? This is why we see our teachers working behind a counter at Sears during the summer months.
You don't know my former profession.

Again, not being paid during summer months might be the standard in Colorado but that is not the case everywhere.

And why should you get paid when you arent working for months at a time?

KatWAG · February 2015

wrigleyville said:

All of my teacher friends have their paychecks spread out over 12 months, so they ARE paid during the summer and do not need to work a second job.

Additionally, the reason those teacher friends of mine don't get "vacation time" is because they get multiple days/weeks off during the school year. There's no need for "vacation time" when you get federal holidays, winter break, spring break, and summer break off. As their salary is for the entire year (if they have it spread out), those most certainly are paid vacation days.

Even accounting for all of the "outside of class" work teachers do, and I know it's a LOT, most of my friends still get much, much more time off than I do.

I wanted to be a teacher for many years. I had a double major in Psychology and Education. I did my research and decided teaching wasn't for me, but I was completely familiar with our state's practices as I was not about to go into a profession I was unfamiliar with.

CMGragain · February 2015

Sorry @PrettyGirlLost, I wasn't thinking of your posts. It was KatWAG's post that got my dander up.

I worked every summer between school years, as did many of my colleagues. I had a regular job in a Des Moines ladies clothing store. I worked the cash register! I didn't have a paid vacation - ever!

Is your University contract for twelve months, or for ten months? It makes a huge difference.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Sorry @PrettyGirlLost, I wasn't thinking of your posts. It was KatWAG's post that got my dander up.

I worked every summer between school years, as did many of my colleagues. I had a regular job in a Des Moines ladies clothing store. I worked the cash register!

Well hopefully, as wrigelyville mentioned, most if not all states now spread teacher salaries out across 12 months so that no one is at a financial disadvantage where they have to work a 2nd job for three months just because they are teachers.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

KatWAG said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

CMGragain said:

PrettyGirlLost said "I'm also confused as to what the DenvER school system has to do with anything since the majority of people work 12 months out of the year and still manage to plan weddings and get married"

Any teacher will explain this to you. People who are employed twelve months out of the year have flexibility with their vacation times. They apply for their vacations, and take them whenever they can schedule them.. They are paid their salary for their vacation time.
Teachers have no vacation time. They are employed ten months out of the year and are laid off two months in summer. They are not paid for those two months. They have some sick days and a couple of personal days, which they usually need. They cannot simply say, "I'm getting married in May, so I won't be teaching for a week." Most teachers get married in the summer.
This year, many Colorado school systems began experimenting with a shorter summer break and short breaks during the school year. Parents here in Grand Junction hate it. We will see what next year's schedule has to offer.
Why does one need vacation days to plan a wedding though?

And then wouldn't you get married and take your honeymoon over the summer? OP was talking about a March 2016 elopement. . . which would be in the middle of the school year, right?

I think its the OP's VIPs who work for the Denver school system, since the OP said she lives in Chicago

Yes. My most important VIPs live in Denver. The person who would be my MOH were I to have a more traditional wedding is a student in the Denver public school system. Because a traditional wedding would be in Chicago, many of my close family would want to make a vacation of it (certainly more than a standard two day weekend), so I'd want to make sure they weren't in school and could make the trip.

CMGragain · February 2015

Just because your ten months salary is divided out over twelve months doesn't mean that you are actually paid for those two months. I always banked the difference, back in the days when banks paid a decent interest rate, so I had money to live on during the summer. I know how to work hard. I never would have made it through college if I didn't.
It burns me when people talk about teacher "vacations". If you aren't being paid for that time, it is not a vacation! See what I mean?
Teachers contract specify the number of days that they will work. No vacations where they are paid while not working. See the difference?

[Deleted User] · February 2015

KatWAG said:

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

Do you need a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer?

I am in Chicago right now. Sitting in about 20 inches of snow. So this March 2015 sounds much better.
No, I need a year to save the money to pay for the Hawaiian vacation. We bought a house in September, still haven't bought the furniture we want to furnish it, already have home improvement projects scheduled. I'm trying to be responsible with my money.
I thought you said your mom was going to give you the same amount of money she gave your sister. And that you were putting that towards Hawaii. Are you using that money for somethign else?

My mom paid for the Booze Cruise we went on two nights before my sister's wedding. They got their own event to host. It cost somewhere between $3-5K. Mom says she'll give me that for my wedding. I tried to tell her that, no, she gets to plan the rehearsal dinner or something, not just hand me a check (because I know that she who pays gets a say and I don't want to give her much of a say on the guest list and other things that I care greatly about.)

Viczaesar · February 2015

Most of the teachers I know who work a second job in the summer do it because they need the additional annual income. Taking a 10 month paycheck and making each month's paycheck smaller so you get it over 12 payments instead of 10 doesn't change the actual amount being made.

All K-12 teachers I know, whether or not they're working a second job, work a lot in the summer, unpaid. There is tons of ongoing training and required graduate level courses, among other things.

KatWAG · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Just because your ten months salary is divided out over twelve months doesn't mean that you are actually paid for those two months. I always banked the difference, back in the days when banks paid a decent interest rate, so I had money to live on during the summer. I know how to work hard. I never would have made it through college if I didn't.
It burns me when people talk about teacher "vacations". If you aren't being paid for that time, it is not a vacation! See what I mean?
Teachers contract specify the number of days that they will work. No vacations where they are paid while not working. See the difference?

You are getting stuck on semantics. Call it a break, time off, a vacation, a holiday, whatever. It doesnt matter. Its time away from work.

You dont have to set an alarm, get up before 7am, put on work clothes, commute, deal with a boss, etc.

Every teacher I have even met/ or know personally considers it a vacation.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

Do you need a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer?

I am in Chicago right now. Sitting in about 20 inches of snow. So this March 2015 sounds much better.
No, I need a year to save the money to pay for the Hawaiian vacation. We bought a house in September, still haven't bought the furniture we want to furnish it, already have home improvement projects scheduled. I'm trying to be responsible with my money.

I thought you said your mom was going to give you the same amount of money she gave your sister. And that you were putting that towards Hawaii. Are you using that money for somethign else?

My mom paid for the Booze Cruise we went on two nights before my sister's wedding. They got their own event to host. It cost somewhere between $3-5K. Mom says she'll give me that for my wedding. I tried to tell her that, no, she gets to plan the rehearsal dinner or something, not just hand me a check (because I know that she who pays gets a say and I don't want to give her much of a say on the guest list and other things that I care greatly about.)

So politely decline her money, and practice saying No nicely but firmly.

CMGragain · February 2015

Just wait until they all get home from school!

Ladies, I have stuff to do. If you haven't taught school, you won't get it. This has frustrated teachers for years!

"You dont have to set an alarm, get up before 7am, put on work clothes, commute, deal with a boss, etc."

Ha! You try being unemployed for two months. See how you like it!

KatWAG · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Just wait until they all get home from school!

Ladies, I have stuff to do. If you haven't taught school, you won't get it. This has frustrated teachers for years!

"You dont have to set an alarm, get up before 7am, put on work clothes, commute, deal with a boss, etc."

Ha! You try being unemployed for two months. See how you like it!

But you were unemployed.

And havent you ever heard the term "funemployment?"

KatWAG · February 2015

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

Do you need a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer?

I am in Chicago right now. Sitting in about 20 inches of snow. So this March 2015 sounds much better.
No, I need a year to save the money to pay for the Hawaiian vacation. We bought a house in September, still haven't bought the furniture we want to furnish it, already have home improvement projects scheduled. I'm trying to be responsible with my money.
I thought you said your mom was going to give you the same amount of money she gave your sister. And that you were putting that towards Hawaii. Are you using that money for somethign else?
My mom paid for the Booze Cruise we went on two nights before my sister's wedding. They got their own event to host. It cost somewhere between $3-5K. Mom says she'll give me that for my wedding. I tried to tell her that, no, she gets to plan the rehearsal dinner or something, not just hand me a check (because I know that she who pays gets a say and I don't want to give her much of a say on the guest list and other things that I care greatly about.)

I might have missed this part but will your mom not give you the money if you plan to elope? ie spend it on a trip to Hawaii?

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Just wait until they all get home from school!

Ladies, I have stuff to do. If you haven't taught school, you won't get it. This has frustrated teachers for years!

"You dont have to set an alarm, get up before 7am, put on work clothes, commute, deal with a boss, etc."

Ha! You try being unemployed for two months. See how you like it!

I don't know why I'm piling on. Maybe because I'm kinda bored.

I'm going to use my best friend as an example. She is a teacher and makes $65k a year. Her payments are spread out year round. In this area, $65k is a nice middle class income. Even if she chose to spread her payments over 9-10 months instead of 12, she'd just budget so that she didn't blow all her money and be hurting for cash over the summer. That's just plain logic.

This woman goes on a trip on her winter break, on her spring break, and has spent an entire month traipsing around this country on "vacation" for her summer break. When she's not on some break (be it a federal holiday, a break, or whatever), she's easily working 12 hour days.

..... And she's planning her wedding for when the school year ends in May.

So.

She loves being "unemployed" and has plenty of money to sustain her and her wanderlust. I'm sure she'd attend someone's wedding on any weekend or "break" she gets.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

thisismynickname said:

CMGragain said:

Just wait until they all get home from school!

Ladies, I have stuff to do. If you haven't taught school, you won't get it. This has frustrated teachers for years!

"You dont have to set an alarm, get up before 7am, put on work clothes, commute, deal with a boss, etc."

Ha! You try being unemployed for two months. See how you like it!

I don't know why I'm piling on. Maybe because I'm kinda bored.

I'm going to use my best friend as an example. She is a teacher and makes $65k a year. Her payments are spread out year round. In this area, $65k is a nice middle class income. Even if she chose to spread her payments over 9-10 months instead of 12, she'd just budget so that she didn't blow all her money and be hurting for cash over the summer. That's just plain logic.

This woman goes on a trip on her winter break, on her spring break, and has spent an entire month traipsing around this country on "vacation" for her summer break. When she's not on some break (be it a federal holiday, a break, or whatever), she's easily working 12 hour days.

..... And she's planning her wedding for when the school year ends in May.

So.

She loves being "unemployed" and has plenty of money to sustain her and her wanderlust. I'm sure she'd attend someone's wedding on any weekend or "break" she gets.

Yeah the teachers in my area make 20k- 50k more a year than I do, and we live in a low cost of living area, which is probably why they aren't working a 2nd job 3 months out of the year. I have no idea if their salaries are spread out over 12 months, I'd have to ask.

The converse is that teaching in this area is so lucrative and sought after that it's like nigh impossible to get a teaching position. . .well a high paying public school position. And it's been that way for decades. You have to get on waiting lists to even get a sub spot, then sub within the school district for 500 years and pray a teacher dies and everyone on the waiting list for that position before you also dies.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

KatWAG said:

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

adk19 said:

KatWAG said:

Do you need a year to plan a Hawaiian vacation and book a photographer?

I am in Chicago right now. Sitting in about 20 inches of snow. So this March 2015 sounds much better.
No, I need a year to save the money to pay for the Hawaiian vacation. We bought a house in September, still haven't bought the furniture we want to furnish it, already have home improvement projects scheduled. I'm trying to be responsible with my money.
I thought you said your mom was going to give you the same amount of money she gave your sister. And that you were putting that towards Hawaii. Are you using that money for somethign else?
My mom paid for the Booze Cruise we went on two nights before my sister's wedding. They got their own event to host. It cost somewhere between $3-5K. Mom says she'll give me that for my wedding. I tried to tell her that, no, she gets to plan the rehearsal dinner or something, not just hand me a check (because I know that she who pays gets a say and I don't want to give her much of a say on the guest list and other things that I care greatly about.)
I might have missed this part but will your mom not give you the money if you plan to elope? ie spend it on a trip to Hawaii?

No idea. It's entirely possible that if we went to the courthouse tomorrow and told her we were married, that she'd write us a check for $3-5K to spend however we wanted. Or it's possible that because we didn't need money for the wedding or allow her and dad to host a shindig, she'd just keep it for herself. Either way would be fine. I honestly don't think she should promise us money she's not sure she has. They retired a year ago and are new to the fixed income budget. And don't we always tell brides not to count on the money until it's in the bank account? I can't count on my mom either giving me money for my wedding, for the rehearsal/welcome dinner, or for me to take on a Hawaiian vacation.

Jells2dot0 · February 2015

So, I was tagged in this post but I can't figure out WTF is going on.

We eloped. We planned our wedding over the course of about a year without telling anyone. We took that long because I planned a DW in Australia and booked early to ensure I had the space I wanted the resort I chose, as it only has 6 rooms. We didn't send announcements when we got back because it was a second marriage for both and didn't feel like anyone would really care (that and we were together for 6 years, engaged for two before we actually married.) We had no parties before or after, received no gifts, and quite frankly, made absolutely NO BIG DEAL over any of it. We told our families, they were happy and understood our decision, and everyone moved on from there.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Jells2dot0 said:

So, I was tagged in this post but I can't figure out WTF is going on.
We eloped. We planned our wedding over the course of about a year without telling anyone. We took that long because I planned a DW in Australia and booked early to ensure I had the space I wanted the resort I chose, as it only has 6 rooms. We didn't send announcements when we got back because it was a second marriage for both and didn't feel like anyone would really care (that and we were together for 6 years, engaged for two before we actually married.) We had no parties before or after, received no gifts, and quite frankly, made absolutely NO BIG DEAL over any of it. We told our families, they were happy and understood our decision, and everyone moved on from there.

Cool! Thanks! Good to know that you can both elope and take a year to plan it. If we elope, it will be next March. If we have a bigger party-type wedding at home it will be next June or July. So, either way I don't really feel the need to do any planning or make any firm decisions for a few months. Though I think I will do things like get my grandmother's earrings professionally cleaned so they are shiny and I can wear them whenever I eventually get married, I'll buy or make a very specific charm I'd like as a remembrance of my grampa, and I'll continue compiling addresses for either invitations or marriage announcements (and Christmas cards).

Jells2dot0 · February 2015

adk19 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

So, I was tagged in this post but I can't figure out WTF is going on.
We eloped. We planned our wedding over the course of about a year without telling anyone. We took that long because I planned a DW in Australia and booked early to ensure I had the space I wanted the resort I chose, as it only has 6 rooms. We didn't send announcements when we got back because it was a second marriage for both and didn't feel like anyone would really care (that and we were together for 6 years, engaged for two before we actually married.) We had no parties before or after, received no gifts, and quite frankly, made absolutely NO BIG DEAL over any of it. We told our families, they were happy and understood our decision, and everyone moved on from there.

Cool! Thanks! Good to know that you can both elope and take a year to plan it. If we elope, it will be next March. If we have a bigger party-type wedding at home it will be next June or July. So, either way I don't really feel the need to do any planning or make any firm decisions for a few months. Though I think I will do things like get my grandmother's earrings professionally cleaned so they are shiny and I can wear them whenever I eventually get married, I'll buy or make a very specific charm I'd like as a remembrance of my grampa, and I'll continue compiling addresses for either invitations or marriage announcements (and Christmas cards).

I booked everything a year out and then basically just sat and waited. Then around 6 months before the wedding, I sent the wedding planner some info (type of flowers I wanted, type of cake, décor- they had a checklist to fill out) and I also worked with my celebrant on our ceremony. Then it was more waiting. I had my dress custom made, so that took a few months, but it was just a few fitting appts here and there.

flbride2015 · February 2015

adk19 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

So, I was tagged in this post but I can't figure out WTF is going on.
We eloped. We planned our wedding over the course of about a year without telling anyone. We took that long because I planned a DW in Australia and booked early to ensure I had the space I wanted the resort I chose, as it only has 6 rooms. We didn't send announcements when we got back because it was a second marriage for both and didn't feel like anyone would really care (that and we were together for 6 years, engaged for two before we actually married.) We had no parties before or after, received no gifts, and quite frankly, made absolutely NO BIG DEAL over any of it. We told our families, they were happy and understood our decision, and everyone moved on from there.

Cool! Thanks! Good to know that you can both elope and take a year to plan it. If we elope, it will be next March. If we have a bigger party-type wedding at home it will be next June or July. So, either way I don't really feel the need to do any planning or make any firm decisions for a few months. Though I think I will do things like get my grandmother's earrings professionally cleaned so they are shiny and I can wear them whenever I eventually get married, I'll buy or make a very specific charm I'd like as a remembrance of my grampa, and I'll continue compiling addresses for either invitations or marriage announcements (and Christmas cards).

I live in Hawaii! If you decide to plan an elopment orprivate wedding or DW, check out Waimea Valley: http://www.waimeavalley.net/index.php/events-and-functions It's beautiful there!

There are also a million other places that would be gorgeous to get married at but that's one of my favorites. If I didn't care about all our family and friends coming to our wedding I wouldhave gotten married out here (our family is all on the mainland).

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

Just wait until they all get home from school!

Ladies, I have stuff to do. If you haven't taught school, you won't get it. This has frustrated teachers for years!

"You dont have to set an alarm, get up before 7am, put on work clothes, commute, deal with a boss, etc."

Ha! You try being unemployed for two months. See how you like it!

****************

I'm sorry to further threadjack @adk19‌...

But seriously? No one is holding a gun to people's heads and forcing them to be teachers. They CHOOSE the profession. And if they have a good head on their shoulders, they consider the pay, lifestyle and schedule before they choose it. None of those things are secret before you choose the career and/or accept the job.

The job comes with a salary (LINK). Which is about $56K. The median income of US households (HOUSEHOLDS, not just individuals), is about $53K (LINK). So on average, teachers are making more than the average US household. If someone can't budget their salary over 1 year and has to get a different job over the summer, that's their own prerogative.

"But teachers work so many more hours...." They do? (LINK)

Don't like having 180 school days a year with summer break, winter break, spring break, fall break, mid-winter break, federal holidays, long weekends, snow days, vacation time (yes, my teacher friends have vacation and sick days), etc.? You'd rather have 260 business days with 2 or 3 weeks PTO to use for sick time and vacation? THEN CHOOSE A DIFFERENT CAREER.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Apparently FH told the guys he has lunch with that he's getting married on March 8, 2016 in Hawaii. So, I guess I'm ringless yet engaged and having a private wedding in Hawaii in a year. Woohoo!

ashley8918 · February 2015

FUCKING EYEROLL at "You don't know my former profession".

ashley8918 · February 2015

adk19 said:

Apparently FH told the guys he has lunch with that he's getting married on March 8, 2016 in Hawaii. So, I guess I'm ringless yet engaged and having a private wedding in Hawaii in a year. Woohoo!

You don't need a ring to be engaged...

ashley8918 · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Just wait until they all get home from school!

Ladies, I have stuff to do. If you haven't taught school, you won't get it. This has frustrated teachers for years!

"You dont have to set an alarm, get up before 7am, put on work clothes, commute, deal with a boss, etc."

Ha! You try being unemployed for two months. See how you like it!

Well? Where is this angry mob of teachers?

ETA

SP29 · February 2015

adk19 said:

Apparently FH told the guys he has lunch with that he's getting married on March 8, 2016 in Hawaii. So, I guess I'm ringless yet engaged and having a private wedding in Hawaii in a year. Woohoo!

Well, that's a good way to decide. How did that comment make you feel? Were you annoyed he said it, or excited for the day? If the later, I think a private wedding in Hawaii on March 8 is for you

You could always decide later to invite some of your VIPs. Remember, even if you have guests doesn't mean you need to have a wedding party, your dad walk you down the aisle, a first dance, cake cutting, etc.. (unless you would like those things). As long as everyone has a chair to sit in and you thank your guests for coming to your ceremony (such as go out for dinner), you are good!

[Deleted User] · February 2015

SP29 said:

adk19 said:

Apparently FH told the guys he has lunch with that he's getting married on March 8, 2016 in Hawaii. So, I guess I'm ringless yet engaged and having a private wedding in Hawaii in a year. Woohoo!

Well, that's a good way to decide. How did that comment make you feel? Were you annoyed he said it, or excited for the day? If the later, I think a private wedding in Hawaii on March 8 is for you

You could always decide later to invite some of your VIPs. Remember, even if you have guests doesn't mean you need to have a wedding party, your dad walk you down the aisle, a first dance, cake cutting, etc.. (unless you would like those things). As long as everyone has a chair to sit in and you thank your guests for coming to your ceremony (such as go out for dinner), you are good!

I'm still not sure he wasn't joking. But it totally excited me. I've already been on the March 2016 board!

slothiegal · February 2015

ashley8918 said:

FUCKING EYEROLL at "You don't know my former profession".

ETA I also love the irony in the fact that if I know ANY Knottie's former profession, it's this poster's. Because in less than the year I've been here, I've already gotten the history lesson at least three or four times.

ashley8918 · February 2015

slothiegal said:

ashley8918 said:

FUCKING EYEROLL at "You don't know my former profession".

ETA I also love the irony in the fact that if I know ANY Knottie's former profession, it's this poster's. Because in less than the year I've been here, I've already gotten the history lesson at least three or four times.

...but let me tell you my entire fucking life story.

How to Elope - Please teach me.

Re: How to Elope - Please teach me.

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