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Wedding Etiquette Forum
jrich29
member
Courthouse wedding Etiquette
One of our friends have decided not to have a wedding and to just get married at the courthouse. Which is perfectly fine! However she keeps sending us a link to donate money to their honeymoon because they don't want any presents ONLY money.
My fiance is annoyed by this he says no wedding no gift.
What is the proper way to handle a situation like this?
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Re: Courthouse wedding Etiquette
The courthouse day is their wedding. It's a wedding. You're just not invited.
I wouldn't send a gift either, but I'd do that if I was invited to the wedding and they asked for cash gifts. What they're doing is rather rude and entitled.
I'm with your FI. I'd be so annoyed at their rudeness that I wouldn't feel like giving them a gift at all.
ETA: And your friend is having a wedding. Courthouse weddings are weddings.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Honeyfunds and/or asking specifically for cash is always rude.
Sending links to people asking for presents is always super rude.
Though sending links, asking for money, from people who aren't even invited might be even ruder!
It is never appropriate to ask for gifts, even if you're having a large wedding.
It's never appropriate to try to dictate the type of gift someone gives you.
It's definitely never appropriate to constantly send out solicitations for presents.
Your friend is being really tacky.
A gift is NEVER required, even if you are invited to the wedding. So you never must give one. And in this case, because you weren't even invited, you shouldn't even feel compelled.
If you want to give her a card or a gift, go ahead, but you are in NO way obligated to, and if I were you, I'd be totally turned off by her behavior and really not want to give one.
As far as how to handle it, I definitely wouldn't give them a gift. How incredibly rude of them to not only demand a gift, but also to dictate the way they want it!
Retaliate with a link to the E Board here.
ETA: I don't know if the above is etiquette approved, but it's what I would be tempted to do.
In this situation, I'd probably send an empty card.
I would delete the links & just send a congratulations card with nothing in it.
Typically people give gifts when they are invited to the ceremony/reception. Since you have not been invited don't feel obligated to give them a gift. If you choose to give them a gift despite not being invited, that is your call, but your friend is rude to send out that link to anyone that isn't invited. If someone were to ask her, we would like to get you a gift, where are you registered, then she can provide that link. Depending on how close of a friend we are, I would probably give them a gift card to a local resturant just to spite them...lol