Honeymoon Registries - Anyone else?

MissADS1981 · February 2015

Me and my fiance have been living together for a few years, so a lot of the items that would go on a typical registry we already bought ourselves. I have heard of the idea of doing a honeymoon registry on HoneyFund or Honeymoonwishes

any other brides try these? did it go over well with your guests for your shower?

ctr24 · February 2015

Honeymoon registries are not popular around here because you're basically asking your guests to pay for your vacation, minus the portion that the website keeps. It's viewed as rude and tacky.

Below is a link to a full discussion of what people think of them

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/999491/what-your-guests-really-think-of-your-honeymoon-registry

love0208 · February 2015

@MissADDS1981...My fiance and I have been living together also so we share your dilema!!...I say go with your gut...you know your family better then any of us....I know of someone who did it and their family actually liked it as an option....again if your family is pretty traditional and not open to new ideas, then yea they may take offense....but....what I would do is ask family members who you know have your best interest at heart and will give you their honest opinion....

With my family for example....They are traditional but in certain cases such as this, your happiness and needs overrides that with them.....I know for a fact it would not be a big deal....What we are going to do is register for excursions to do during the honeymoon.....The resort we are staying at has a honeymoon registeration option, so we went that route....The general feeling amongst my family is they love the idea and would be honored to provide us a gift that would result in a lifetime memory during our honeymoon...

Also if you choose to do this, one of the reasons why I didn't like those websites is because they take a % out of every gift....be sure to read the fine print....

Remember this is an opinion like the opinions of the forums above....also remember the registery is an OPTION for guest.....they can just simply decline and get what they feel comfortable to do.

Sometimes when it comes to weddings, people tend to be stuck on tradition and what's right and wrong...when you think about it, if they choose to give you money as a gift and the money is being used for a honeymoon then guess what??? They still payed for your honeymoon......

Again go with your gut...speak to your closest/trustworthy confiders...and don't stress!!!

Good luck!!!

Cookie Pusher · February 2015

My DH and I were together 12.5 years before our wedding. We'd been living together for 11 years. We established a full household (fancy china, crystal, silver, appliances, power tools, etc.), so didn't feel we would have enough to put on a registry so we registered for nothing. No kitchen items, no household goods, no honeymoon, etc. No registry whatsoever.

Wouldn't you know, our guests figured out that we didn't need STUFF and every single gift we got was monetary. Every. Single. One. Your guests are smart - they know that money is always an appropriate gift AND you won't lose a service fee through those honeymoon registry sites take.

Jenn7778 · February 2015

@Cookiepusher I am guessing you meant for your wedding you got monetary gifts but for a bridal shower, the point is to shower the bride with household gifts. It is quite standard to give a cash gift at the wedding in NJ. I have not been to a wedding where anyone actually gave anything but cash ever.

You can call a honeymoon registry or fund whatever you want to to make it sound nice, but in the end you are requesting a cash gift which is just rude. Most of those websites don't even give you what people think they are helping to pay for (romantic dinners, excursions, drinks) but instead take a cut and then cut you a check for the amount you raised. Aunt Betty thinks she just purchased you an excursion to swim with dolphins when in reality she just gave you cash, which i also very deceiving to your guests. It is no better then those brides that set up Go Find Me fundraisers to help defray the cost of the wedding they can't afford in my opinion.

I have owned my own home for 5 years and my FI and I have lived together for 2. We registered for items that we wanted new versions of and are donating the older items as we get engagement gifts. We will do the same when I have my shower in August.

If you do not want to register for household items then don't have a shower, but to ask for cash, even in the shield of a honeyfund is just plain rude. Nobody will say it to your face, but everyone will say it behind your back. Like another poster said, everyone will have a different opinion, but if I were invited to a shower where the only option was contribute to a honeyfund I would not attend.

JoanE2012 · February 2015

Agree with @Jenn7778. If you don't want physical gifts, don't have a shower. At the wedding, in the NJ area, most guests tend to give cash anyway. A honeymoon registry is rude. Not to mention, most have fees.....why would you want to have your guests give you less money? That makes no sense.

For the record, I was living on my own for over a decade, as was DH.....and we lived together for a short time before getting married.....yet we still managed to have a complete registry. We did lots of upgrades.....new towels, new sheets, new baking pans.....threw out all my plasticware and got nice Pyrex, better steak knives, etc. It's not hard. And if you truly have every thing you need and don't need upgrades, skip the shower!

amt6 · February 2015

@MissADS1981 - My fiancé and I just set up a honeymoon registry through Honeyfund. We know that some people will find it tacky, but for those that do, they do not have to participate. We have been living together for 6 years and love to travel, so it seemed like the perfect alternative to me. We did set up a registry for updated household items through Bed, Bath & Beyond, so we figured people that want to go the traditional route will have that option as well. In the introduction, we put a long explanation of why we chose a honeymoon registry (I can send you a link if you'd like to see)! As for the fees, Honeyfund has the lowest fees and figured people would be more amenable to paying a Paypal fee than a fee to the company.

I think it is a personal decision and don't let anyone make you feel wrong for making it!

MissADS1981 · February 2015

The moms of course want to do the shower, I personally didn't want one but there hasn't been a wedding in our family in awhile so they are very excited. I may just do one registry and put some updated items we need and leave the rest for people to purchase whatever they want.

glad to get some good feedback. i have a mix of traditional and non. thanks everyone.

JoanE2012 · February 2015

amt6 said:

@MissADS1981 - My fiancé and I just set up a honeymoon registry through Honeyfund. We know that some people will find it tacky, but for those that do, they do not have to participate. We have been living together for 6 years and love to travel, so it seemed like the perfect alternative to me. We did set up a registry for updated household items through Bed, Bath & Beyond, so we figured people that want to go the traditional route will have that option as well. In the introduction, we put a long explanation of why we chose a honeymoon registry (I can send you a link if you'd like to see)! As for the fees, Honeyfund has the lowest fees and figured people would be more amenable to paying a Paypal fee than a fee to the company.
I think it is a personal decision and don't let anyone make you feel wrong for making it!

Ummm, whatever happened to plain old cash or a check? I cannot fathom for the life of me why anyone would want to have part of their gift taken by any company.

We got 95% of gifts in the form of money....either cash or check. Your guests are not that stupid (I hope!)....have a little faith in them!

PS - We are world travelers, and we paid for our own honeymoon. (Heck, we could've brought the cash from the wedding if we really needed it!). It's rude and stupid to set up a registry with a company that is going to take a cut of your gift.

JoanE2012 · February 2015

MissADS1981 said:

The moms of course want to do the shower, I personally didn't want one but there hasn't been a wedding in our family in awhile so they are very excited. I may just do one registry and put some updated items we need and leave the rest for people to purchase whatever they want.

glad to get some good feedback. i have a mix of traditional and non. thanks everyone.

It sounds like you're making a good choice. Honeymoon registries are not non-traditional....they're just a new way for companies to try and make money. They'll push anything, no matter how rude, to make a buck. It's sad to see couple's falling for these. They think if they don't do a honeymoon registry that the guest is going to be stumped and not know how to put cash in an envelope or write out a check. Don't pay these fees to the companies, it's just not a smart move. Good luck and happy planning!

MissADS1981 · February 2015

thanks everyone

JCbride2015 · February 2015

amt6 said:

@MissADS1981 - My fiancé and I just set up a honeymoon registry through Honeyfund. We know that some people will find it tacky, but for those that do, they do not have to participate. We have been living together for 6 years and love to travel, so it seemed like the perfect alternative to me. We did set up a registry for updated household items through Bed, Bath & Beyond, so we figured people that want to go the traditional route will have that option as well. In the introduction, we put a long explanation of why we chose a honeymoon registry (I can send you a link if you'd like to see)! As for the fees, Honeyfund has the lowest fees and figured people would be more amenable to paying a Paypal fee than a fee to the company.
I think it is a personal decision and don't let anyone make you feel wrong for making it!

This is a very honest question, albeit with some natural snark. Why would you consciously do something that you know a significant portion of your guests will find rude? You understand, as you are doing this, that you are making your guests uncomfortable because you are asking them for money. Why would you do that?

amt6 · February 2015

@JcBride2015 - Because it is only one option that they can choose to decline. I did not say that a significant portion of them would find it rude; I said that some would - Mostly the older guests that are not familiar with the concept of honeymoon registries. My younger guests have indicated that they love the idea and would much rather treat us to a romantic dinner than new stemware. For the older guests that are uncomfortable with the concept, we have also set up a traditional registry at BB&B.

In my opinion, I am not asking them for money; I am asking for them to contribute to our honeymoon. If they view it otherwise, they are not forced to participate, just as they are not forced to purchase anything off of a traditional registry. I honestly do not see a difference between asking them to contribute to our honeymoon and contribute to our home with the purchase of a blender.

njbride2015 · February 2015

I don't think it's a big deal. You register for stuff (to your point about the blender), why not register for experiences? People will do what they want to do anyway - they will buy you stuff (either you registered for or did not), they will buy you an experience (or a gift certificate to your travel agent) or they will give you cash - or maybe nothing. You can't plan your wedding based on what you think everyone else will think or react - plan it for what you want. Anyone that has lived in NJ for 5 minutes understands how weddings in NJ work - I don't think you are going to seriously offend any of your guests. PS - I've recently read about gift card registries too - anything is game in this day and age. Try not to stress too much - good luck!

Cookie Pusher · February 2015

dinamarienj said:

I don't think it's a big deal. You register for stuff (to your point about the blender), why not register for experiences? People will do what they want to do anyway - they will buy you stuff (either you registered for or did not), they will buy you an experience (or a gift certificate to your travel agent) or they will give you cash - or maybe nothing. You can't plan your wedding based on what you think everyone else will think or react - plan it for what you want. Anyone that has lived in NJ for 5 minutes understands how weddings in NJ work - I don't think you are going to seriously offend any of your guests. PS - I've recently read about gift card registries too - anything is game in this day and age. Try not to stress too much - good luck!

I've lived in NJ for over 30 years and I know that asking for money is rude. I also know that cash is the typical wedding gift (this goes as far back as my parents' wedding in 1992, they got NO physical gifts even with a registry), so there's no reason to let a website take a percentage of your gifts when you could get the entire amount otherwise.

amt6 · February 2015

dinamarienj said:

I don't think it's a big deal. You register for stuff (to your point about the blender), why not register for experiences? People will do what they want to do anyway - they will buy you stuff (either you registered for or did not), they will buy you an experience (or a gift certificate to your travel agent) or they will give you cash - or maybe nothing. You can't plan your wedding based on what you think everyone else will think or react - plan it for what you want. Anyone that has lived in NJ for 5 minutes understands how weddings in NJ work - I don't think you are going to seriously offend any of your guests. PS - I've recently read about gift card registries too - anything is game in this day and age. Try not to stress too much - good luck!

Exactly this.

njbride2015 · February 2015

Cookie Pusher said:

dinamarienj said:

I don't think it's a big deal. You register for stuff (to your point about the blender), why not register for experiences? People will do what they want to do anyway - they will buy you stuff (either you registered for or did not), they will buy you an experience (or a gift certificate to your travel agent) or they will give you cash - or maybe nothing. You can't plan your wedding based on what you think everyone else will think or react - plan it for what you want. Anyone that has lived in NJ for 5 minutes understands how weddings in NJ work - I don't think you are going to seriously offend any of your guests. PS - I've recently read about gift card registries too - anything is game in this day and age. Try not to stress too much - good luck!

I've lived in NJ for over 30 years and I know that asking for money is rude. I also know that cash is the typical wedding gift (this goes as far back as my parents' wedding in 1992, they got NO physical gifts even with a registry), so there's no reason to let a website take a percentage of your gifts when you could get the entire amount otherwise.

It's a matter of opinion - no one I know thinks a honeymoon registry is an ask for money - they think it's a brilliant idea. Then at least they know their gift is going toward something concrete (instead of a blender). It's her choice - if it works better for her to have a honeymoon registry despite the fees - then that's what she should do. If she doesn't register at all - some might see that ommission as an ask for money and think she's being rude. She can't make everyone happy - so she might as well do what's best for her and her FI.

JCbride2015 · February 2015

amt6 said:

@JcBride2015 - Because it is only one option that they can choose to decline. I did not say that a significant portion of them would find it rude; I said that some would - Mostly the older guests that are not familiar with the concept of honeymoon registries. My younger guests have indicated that they love the idea and would much rather treat us to a romantic dinner than new stemware. For the older guests that are uncomfortable with the concept, we have also set up a traditional registry at BB&B.

In my opinion, I am not asking them for money; I am asking for them to contribute to our honeymoon. If they view it otherwise, they are not forced to participate, just as they are not forced to purchase anything off of a traditional registry. I honestly do not see a difference between asking them to contribute to our honeymoon and contribute to our home with the purchase of a blender.

But if you know that any guests will (rightly) be offended.... isn't that significant? Or old people just don't matter?

I'm 27 and am offended when I see HM registries. I would never say to to the couple's face, no, because I have manners. But I think it's really rude to treat your guests like ATMs.

JCbride2015 · February 2015

On a more general note: there is a difference between giving money (which is the norm in NJ) and asking for money (which is rude everywhere).

I always, always give cash as a wedding gift and a physical gift at showers. But I still think it's rude to have a HM registry. Those registries are misleading, take fees, and rub in your guests' face that you want money. Rude rude rude. The majority of people I've discussed this with (not just on TK, in real life in NJ too) feel the same way, but they are nice people who don't want to hurt the couple's feelings, so they don't say anything.

If you just don't register and don't have a HM registry, I promise you will receive cash and checks. Why risk offending some guests and then on top of that, have a fee taken from the gifts you do receive? All for the convenience of getting one lump sum?

amt6 · February 2015

I think it is time to agree to disagree. While some of my guests may be off put by the concept of a honeymoon registry, I don't think that any of them would be offended by the notion, demographic aside. Those that are, can choose not to give cash, a gift from our traditional registry, or nothing at all. If we tried to please everyone with an opinion at our wedding, my fiancé and I would never get what we want.

JCbride2015 · February 2015

amt6 said:

I think it is time to agree to disagree. While some of my guests may be off put by the concept of a honeymoon registry, I don't think that any of them would be offended by the notion, demographic aside. Those that are, can choose not to give cash, a gift from our traditional registry, or nothing at all. If we tried to please everyone with an opinion at our wedding, my fiancé and I would never get what we want.

Please read what you just wrote. Really.

Jenn7778 · February 2015

You can rationalize it however you want to, and you can continue to make yourself sound entitled, but in the end it will be your guests that will be offended and you seem to be ok with that. I for 1 would not be ok offending the people that are taking the time to travel and the money out of their pockets to attend my wedding and/or my shower.

You can also spin HM registries as getting you an experience, but that is not what you get. What you get is a check for the total amount people THOUGHT they were putting towards a dinner or excursion minus 5% that goes to honeyfund...so not only are you offending your guests but you are are also deceiving them.

If you are ok with that have at it...but don't be surprised when people talk behind your back about how rude it is or just decline the invitation all together.

JoanE2012 · February 2015

amt6 said:

I think it is time to agree to disagree. While some of my guests may be off put by the concept of a honeymoon registry, I don't think that any of them would be offended by the notion, demographic aside. Those that are, can choose not to give cash, a gift from our traditional registry, or nothing at all. If we tried to please everyone with an opinion at our wedding, my fiancé and I would never get what we want.

You said in your earlier post, "As for the fees, Honeyfund has the lowest fees and figured people would be more amenable to paying a Paypal fee than a fee to the company."

I'm still curious.....don't you think your guests would prefer to pay NO fee? Don't you think they're capable of writing a check or putting cash in an envelope?

njbride2015 · February 2015

Hi all - if you want a no fee way to do it - some travel agents do gift certificates so your crew can get you a gift certificate to the travel agent you use to book your honeymoon - just a thought! Good luck!

amt6 · February 2015

JCbride2015 said:

amt6 said:

I think it is time to agree to disagree. While some of my guests may be off put by the concept of a honeymoon registry, I don't think that any of them would be offended by the notion, demographic aside. Those that are, can choose not to give cash, a gift from our traditional registry, or nothing at all. If we tried to please everyone with an opinion at our wedding, my fiancé and I would never get what we want.

Please read what you just wrote. Really.

I am simply referring to any opinions my fiancé and I have throughout the wedding planning process, not the gifts we may or may not receive. Taken out of context, I understand your gripe, but try to understand the subject of a post before jumping to conclusions.

Jenn7778 said:

You can rationalize it however you want to, and you can continue to make yourself sound entitled, but in the end it will be your guests that will be offended and you seem to be ok with that. I for 1 would not be ok offending the people that are taking the time to travel and the money out of their pockets to attend my wedding and/or my shower. You can also spin HM registries as getting you an experience, but that is not what you get. What you get is a check for the total amount people THOUGHT they were putting towards a dinner or excursion minus 5% that goes to honeyfund...so not only are you offending your guests but you are are also deceiving them. If you are ok with that have at it...but don't be surprised when people talk behind your back about how rude it is or just decline the invitation all together.

I am not rationalizing or justifying anything. I am responding the original posters request for opinions. This is mine. You have yours. We clearly disagree. I am not going to stoop so low as to call another bride entitled or deceptive based on those opinions. Quite frankly, I think name calling and finger pointing has no place on these boards where brides come to ask for suggestions and opinions of fellow brides.

If my guests are SO offended by the notion of contributing to experiences on our honeymoon , they are more than welcome to express that concern to me or fiancé directly, which I know each and every one of my guests would not hesitate to do. Further, there is nothing forcing them to give a gift, let alone one off of my honeymoon registry. The choice is theirs and I am sure they are capable of making a decision. There is no doubt in my mind that you are overanalyzing and overdramatizing the situation. I will be sure to let you know if a guest declines a wedding or shower invitation because of an offensive registry. I guarantee it will not happen. And by the way, good luck avoiding people talking behind your back throughout this process. Everyone has opinions, whether or not they say them to your face.

JoanE2012 said:

amt6 said:

I think it is time to agree to disagree. While some of my guests may be off put by the concept of a honeymoon registry, I don't think that any of them would be offended by the notion, demographic aside. Those that are, can choose not to give cash, a gift from our traditional registry, or nothing at all. If we tried to please everyone with an opinion at our wedding, my fiancé and I would never get what we want.

You said in your earlier post, "As for the fees, Honeyfund has the lowest fees and figured people would be more amenable to paying a Paypal fee than a fee to the company."

I'm still curious.....don't you think your guests would prefer to pay NO fee? Don't you think they're capable of writing a check or putting cash in an envelope?

Our guests are given the option of doing just that - putting cash in an envelope. There is no requirement to contribute to our honeymoon, contribute via Honeyfund, or to pay through Paypal. They can look at the registry and place a check in an envelope without fees the same way they can look at the registry and decide to accept the fees through paypal or decide not to contribute at all. Again, the choice is theirs and they can make an informed decision.

JoanE2012 · February 2015

amt6 said:

JCbride2015 said:

amt6 said:

I think it is time to agree to disagree. While some of my guests may be off put by the concept of a honeymoon registry, I don't think that any of them would be offended by the notion, demographic aside. Those that are, can choose not to give cash, a gift from our traditional registry, or nothing at all. If we tried to please everyone with an opinion at our wedding, my fiancé and I would never get what we want.

Please read what you just wrote. Really.

I am simply referring to any opinions my fiancé and I have throughout the wedding planning process, not the gifts we may or may not receive. Taken out of context, I understand your gripe, but try to understand the subject of a post before jumping to conclusions.

Jenn7778 said:

You can rationalize it however you want to, and you can continue to make yourself sound entitled, but in the end it will be your guests that will be offended and you seem to be ok with that. I for 1 would not be ok offending the people that are taking the time to travel and the money out of their pockets to attend my wedding and/or my shower. You can also spin HM registries as getting you an experience, but that is not what you get. What you get is a check for the total amount people THOUGHT they were putting towards a dinner or excursion minus 5% that goes to honeyfund...so not only are you offending your guests but you are are also deceiving them. If you are ok with that have at it...but don't be surprised when people talk behind your back about how rude it is or just decline the invitation all together.

I am not rationalizing or justifying anything. I am responding the original posters request for opinions. This is mine. You have yours. We clearly disagree. I am not going to stoop so low as to call another bride entitled or deceptive based on those opinions. Quite frankly, I think name calling and finger pointing has no place on these boards where brides come to ask for suggestions and opinions of fellow brides.

If my guests are SO offended by the notion of contributing to experiences on our honeymoon , they are more than welcome to express that concern to me or fiancé directly, which I know each and every one of my guests would not hesitate to do. Further, there is nothing forcing them to give a gift, let alone one off of my honeymoon registry. The choice is theirs and I am sure they are capable of making a decision. There is no doubt in my mind that you are overanalyzing and overdramatizing the situation. I will be sure to let you know if a guest declines a wedding or shower invitation because of an offensive registry. I guarantee it will not happen. And by the way, good luck avoiding people talking behind your back throughout this process. Everyone has opinions, whether or not they say them to your face.

JoanE2012 said:

amt6 said:

I think it is time to agree to disagree. While some of my guests may be off put by the concept of a honeymoon registry, I don't think that any of them would be offended by the notion, demographic aside. Those that are, can choose not to give cash, a gift from our traditional registry, or nothing at all. If we tried to please everyone with an opinion at our wedding, my fiancé and I would never get what we want.

You said in your earlier post, "As for the fees, Honeyfund has the lowest fees and figured people would be more amenable to paying a Paypal fee than a fee to the company."

I'm still curious.....don't you think your guests would prefer to pay NO fee? Don't you think they're capable of writing a check or putting cash in an envelope?

Our guests are given the option of doing just that - putting cash in an envelope. There is no requirement to contribute to our honeymoon, contribute via Honeyfund, or to pay through Paypal. They can look at the registry and place a check in an envelope without fees the same way they can look at the registry and decide to accept the fees through paypal or decide not to contribute at all. Again, the choice is theirs and they can make an informed decision.

It still boggles my mind that anyone would want to put an option out there that is considered rude by many people (most probably won't tell you that though!) when there is an alternative, non-rude, common sense way to give a monetary gift.

I remember the really awesome weddings.....and I remember the ones that were rude or weren't properly hosted. I certainly wouldn't want my wedding to be remembered in a negative light, even if it was by just a couple people. Those stories are retold and never forgotten!

Knottie88299842 · February 2015

In all of the discussions I've seen on this topic, this was one with at least some nice commentary directly towards the inquiry. I know this topic gets very touchy!!!

I, too, saw that those sites take a percentage off of what's gifted so that takes away from it. I would see if the resort or hotel has their own registry. The idea of a lifetime of memories is one that I would personally support if it's what would make you happy!

Do what makes YOU happy. Times are changing and while there are many traditionalists out there, there are also many who have an open mind. At the end of the day we won't all get everything we registered for. I think the idea is fun, even though we are doing the traditional registry ourselves.

Best of luck to you!!

ohmrs2014 · February 2015

Just because times are changing doesn't make it any less rude. Its very rude to ask your guests for gifts. It is not a requirement for a guest to bring/give you a gift for the wedding or even the bridal shower.

If you don't register, guests will either purchase something for you that they think you need or they will more than likely give you a monetary gift. But specifially asking for something, especially when some of their money is taken for fees, is just downright rude.

Knottie88299842 · February 2015

LOL the responses on these posts always make me laugh. You can't make everyone happy. Mind you, I have zero intentions of doing a honeymoon registry. I just feel like I have to come to the defense of the brides who want to do this.

There are a TON of boards on this same topic where brides get badgered with the "It's rude" comment.

Everyone has the option of not doing it. SOMEONE will have SOMETHING to say about your wedding... she registered for outrageously expensive gits How Rude!... i can't believe she DIDN'T register for Fine China... her dress was hideous... the venue was sub-par.... the cake was ugly... the food wasn't great... the servers were too slow... the wedding came off as cheap... they had TOO much food... I can't believe they got that food truck after the wedding.... the DJ didn't play enough of a variety of music... I can't believe they had the nerve to include a honeymoon registry... I can't believe they're getting married on a Friday / Sunday / Thursday , how inconsiderate of their guests work schedules....

We know many of you think it's rude. But if the bride is clearly set on doing what she is doing, and that is creating a honeymoon registry, "LIVE AND LET LIVE". Be glad you're not one of the guests invited and don't have to worry about it.

Commenting on a board where a bride is asking for for an opinion on something and going on a tangent attacking her character can be considered downright rude.

JCbride2015 · February 2015

Knottie88299842 said:

LOL the responses on these posts always make me laugh. You can't make everyone happy. Mind you, I have zero intentions of doing a honeymoon registry. I just feel like I have to come to the defense of the brides who want to do this.

There are a TON of boards on this same topic where brides get badgered with the "It's rude" comment.

Everyone has the option of not doing it. SOMEONE will have SOMETHING to say about your wedding... she registered for outrageously expensive gits How Rude!... i can't believe she DIDN'T register for Fine China... her dress was hideous... the venue was sub-par.... the cake was ugly... the food wasn't great... the servers were too slow... the wedding came off as cheap... they had TOO much food... I can't believe they got that food truck after the wedding.... the DJ didn't play enough of a variety of music... I can't believe they had the nerve to include a honeymoon registry... I can't believe they're getting married on a Friday / Sunday / Thursday , how inconsiderate of their guests work schedules....

We know many of you think it's rude. But if the bride is clearly set on doing what she is doing, and that is creating a honeymoon registry, "LIVE AND LET LIVE". Be glad you're not one of the guests invited and don't have to worry about it.

Commenting on a board where a bride is asking for for an opinion on something and going on a tangent attacking her character can be considered downright rude.

Nobody was attacking anybody. I think you need to learn the difference between attacking and just not blowing smoke up someone's ass.

She asked for opinions. The overwhelming majority of posters on TK will not give opinions on something that is objectively, factually, 100% against etiquette. We will tell somebody if what they are proposing to do is rude, and why, in the hopes they may change their mind. It's like if you asked me what the best way was to stab your Fi: should you use a chef's knife or a butcher knife? I'd say neither, you shouldn't stab him! Obviously that's a funny example but it's the same principle.

In fact, OP was not set at all on having a Honeyfund. She asked what people think of it. What we think is that it is rude and she should not have one. We answered her question in a straightforward, honest manner. There was no attacking.

Knottie88299842 · February 2015

@JCbride2015 You've responded 5 times already to a topic that clearly gets you riled up. And your first response was not to the original poster... it was at @amt6 who had already said that her and her FI had set up a HR with an explanation behind it. I'm pretty sure she wasn't asking for your opinion. She was responding to the OP. So your continuous comments on her character for her personal decision was somewhat "Rude rude rude." It's so easy to sit behind a computer screen and badger a bride in a digital forum than it is to tell your friend or relative that you think they're rude. That doesn't makes you much better of a person, especially when you keep drilling the point in such a snarky tone (your word not mine). But you want to talk about having manners...

You did not respond to the OP. You were far more than straightforward. But to say there was no attacking is questionable.

Anyhow, I'm not here on TK to badger/bicker with you or anyone else.

Honeymoon Registries - Anyone else?

Re: Honeymoon Registries - Anyone else?

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