New Snowflakes

flutteringinfl · February 2015

amelisha said:

Personally, this stuff makes me crazy because it is NOT YOUR DAY, really. It's a party you're throwing to thank people for watching you get married. It's not a party for you, it's for your guests, if I'm understanding this correctly. So you should be treating them well like you would any other time you throw a party for someone, if I'm getting this right in my head.

Exactly. I mean, it's a significant day for the couple in the sense that something really important is happening in their lives, but that doesn't mean it's okay for them to just do whatever they want without offending friends and family. It'd be like if on my birthday every year I ate all my coworkers' food and then when people complained I whined, "But it's my day!" and then strangers on the internet backed me up by saying, "I don't see what the big deal is. It's just ONE day. If they don't like it too bad!"

A wedding doesn't make you magically immune to the consequences of bad ideas.

drunkenwitch · February 2015

Oh my dear sweet and fluffy lord, I'm finding them now. Good thing I have some popcorn squirrled away in my desk. This is fun!

mikenberger · February 2015

flutteringinfl said:

mikenberger said:

pinkrevenge said:

Be honest with me ladies?

Do modern brides think a wedding is carte blanche to be the most terrible person you can humanly be to your loved ones? Are brides specifically shitting on their guests? They absolutely have to know that what they're doing is terrible, so ....

I have three friends getting married beside myself. I try VERY hard to reach etiquette and exceed etiquette standards. I did away with a gap that I had (didn't even realize it was bad!), upped my food and other little things.

Bride #1- Is not inviting a SO of a mutual friend because she doesn't want to be friends with his friends (the bride). She thinks that this is perfectly acceptable. I've met this woman once and am inviting her and her SO (the mutual friend.) to my wedding. "If she wanted to be friends with us or at least be nice when we meet her, I'd invite her. But she's not. So he can decide if he wants to bring her. I'm not inviting her." She is also planning her own Thurs-Sun OOT bachelorette party. And is PISSED I'm not going (I am in her bridal party). She had a shower 10 months before the wedding. And has kicked out a bridesmaid and chose a dress outside of everybody's budget. She is demanding 5" heels and certain hairstyles as well.

Bride #2 - Wedding is outdoors, burlap, lace, mason jars, cowboy boots. We will all be sitting on bales of hay as well. "The ceremony is short. Everybody will be fine. Or they can stand." Cash bar. "We can't afford alcohol. Sorry we don't make millions like you." (Where in the FUCK are my millions at?? Damnit.)

Bride #3 - Inviting 350 people in a space that fits 280. Enough said.

And every single one of them has uttered the words "It's my day and I'm paying for it. If they don't like it, they can leave."

Ugh. Someone in my month board just pulled the, "If they don't like it, they don't have to come!" card. I don't see how you can argue with that, because technically it's true, but it doesn't make it any less of a crappy thing to do.

Totally.

I tried with Bride #1 "How would you feel if that was you that wasn't invited?" She claimed that she'd be okay with it but then "I wouldn't let him go if I weren't invited. It's that simple."

Bride #2 - "How about some chairs? And we can help you with beer. Just let us know." "No, the hay bales will be fine. I want a rustic outdoor wedding. No chairs. And your beer is... homemade. We would have to have Busch Light or Bud Light. I mean, we really like your beer but I don't know if everybody else would."

IT'S FREE BEER. EVERYBODY LOVES FREE THINGS.

And Bride #3 - "Are you putting a tent or something outside for the extra people? What about chairs?" "Well, we'll have some tables lined up IN THE HALLWAY going into the reception where they can sit. And then maybe some on the patio." The wedding is in October. In the Midwest. It might be snowing.

Then me by the end of all this and realizing I can't help them if they don't help themselves:

thespeshulestsnowflake · February 2015

mikenberger said:

flutteringinfl said:

mikenberger said:

pinkrevenge said:

Be honest with me ladies?

Do modern brides think a wedding is carte blanche to be the most terrible person you can humanly be to your loved ones? Are brides specifically shitting on their guests? They absolutely have to know that what they're doing is terrible, so ....

I have three friends getting married beside myself. I try VERY hard to reach etiquette and exceed etiquette standards. I did away with a gap that I had (didn't even realize it was bad!), upped my food and other little things.

Bride #1- Is not inviting a SO of a mutual friend because she doesn't want to be friends with his friends (the bride). She thinks that this is perfectly acceptable. I've met this woman once and am inviting her and her SO (the mutual friend.) to my wedding. "If she wanted to be friends with us or at least be nice when we meet her, I'd invite her. But she's not. So he can decide if he wants to bring her. I'm not inviting her." She is also planning her own Thurs-Sun OOT bachelorette party. And is PISSED I'm not going (I am in her bridal party). She had a shower 10 months before the wedding. And has kicked out a bridesmaid and chose a dress outside of everybody's budget. She is demanding 5" heels and certain hairstyles as well.

Bride #2 - Wedding is outdoors, burlap, lace, mason jars, cowboy boots. We will all be sitting on bales of hay as well. "The ceremony is short. Everybody will be fine. Or they can stand." Cash bar. "We can't afford alcohol. Sorry we don't make millions like you." (Where in the FUCK are my millions at?? Damnit.)

Bride #3 - Inviting 350 people in a space that fits 280. Enough said.

And every single one of them has uttered the words "It's my day and I'm paying for it. If they don't like it, they can leave."

Ugh. Someone in my month board just pulled the, "If they don't like it, they don't have to come!" card. I don't see how you can argue with that, because technically it's true, but it doesn't make it any less of a crappy thing to do.

Totally.

I tried with Bride #1 "How would you feel if that was you that wasn't invited?" She claimed that she'd be okay with it but then "I wouldn't let him go if I weren't invited. It's that simple."

Bride #2 - "How about some chairs? And we can help you with beer. Just let us know." "No, the hay bales will be fine. I want a rustic outdoor wedding. No chairs. And your beer is... homemade. We would have to have Busch Light or Bud Light. I mean, we really like your beer but I don't know if everybody else would."

IT'S FREE BEER. EVERYBODY LOVES FREE THINGS.

And Bride #3 - "Are you putting a tent or something outside for the extra people? What about chairs?" "Well, we'll have some tables lined up IN THE HALLWAY going into the reception where they can sit. And then maybe some on the patio." The wedding is in October. In the Midwest. It might be snowing.

Then me by the end of all this and realizing I can't help them if they don't help themselves:

I don't get how "it's my day" turns into "I can treat my nearest and dearest like crap" and think that there are no reprecussions.

CMGragain · February 2015

Well, my pearls are ready. I'll be clutching them soon.

slothiegal · February 2015

CMGragain said:

Well, my pearls are ready. I'll be clutching them soon.

I think we just assumed they are always clutched.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

mikenberger said:

pinkrevenge said:

Be honest with me ladies?

Do modern brides think a wedding is carte blanche to be the most terrible person you can humanly be to your loved ones? Are brides specifically shitting on their guests? They absolutely have to know that what they're doing is terrible, so ....

I have three friends getting married beside myself. I try VERY hard to reach etiquette and exceed etiquette standards. I did away with a gap that I had (didn't even realize it was bad!), upped my food and other little things.

Bride #1- Is not inviting a SO of a mutual friend because she doesn't want to be friends with his friends (the bride). She thinks that this is perfectly acceptable. I've met this woman once and am inviting her and her SO (the mutual friend.) to my wedding. "If she wanted to be friends with us or at least be nice when we meet her, I'd invite her. But she's not. So he can decide if he wants to bring her. I'm not inviting her." She is also planning her own Thurs-Sun OOT bachelorette party. And is PISSED I'm not going (I am in her bridal party). She had a shower 10 months before the wedding. And has kicked out a bridesmaid and chose a dress outside of everybody's budget. She is demanding 5" heels and certain hairstyles as well.

Bride #2 - Wedding is outdoors, burlap, lace, mason jars, cowboy boots. We will all be sitting on bales of hay as well. "The ceremony is short. Everybody will be fine. Or they can stand." Cash bar. "We can't afford alcohol. Sorry we don't make millions like you." (Where in the FUCK are my millions at?? Damnit.)

Bride #3 - Inviting 350 people in a space that fits 280. Enough said.

And every single one of them has uttered the words "It's my day and I'm paying for it. If they don't like it, they can leave."

Please tell me that you aren't going to go to these shitshows? Or if you are, you will live blog them for us.

You aren't going to get 5" heels if you don't typically already wear them, right?

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

Wow, there are some gems on New Jersey, that is for sure. I'm sorry for those of you who are from NJ. . . you are getting a bad rap ;-)

CMGragain · February 2015

slothiegal said:

CMGragain said:

Well, my pearls are ready. I'll be clutching them soon.

I think we just assumed they are always clutched.

Ha,ha! Only for PPDs, tiered receptions, and tuxedos in the daytime!

Chipmunk415 · February 2015

CMGragain said:

slothiegal said:

CMGragain said:

Well, my pearls are ready. I'll be clutching them soon.

I think we just assumed they are always clutched.

Ha,ha! Only for PPDs, tiered receptions, and tuxedos in the daytime!

Ftr, DH wore a tux for our morning wedding ceremony. He was so excited to have a tux and looked absolutely smashing :-D

Jells2dot0 · February 2015

If someone wants to pull the "it's MY SPESHUL day" shit, they need to do what I did and elope. My DH and I got married where we wanted, wore what we wanted, said our vows when we wanted, ate what we wanted when we wanted, and no one could complain because no one knew.

Problem solved.

huskypuppy14 · February 2015

amelisha said:

Personally, this stuff makes me crazy because it is NOT YOUR DAY, really. It's a party you're throwing to thank people for watching you get married. It's not a party for you, it's for your guests, if I'm understanding this correctly. So you should be treating them well like you would any other time you throw a party for someone, if I'm getting this right in my head.

Right!

It's your wedding day, and you choose everything, but you also need to take your guests into consideration. Don't people want their guests to say, 'wow I really loved Bride and Groom's wedding, they were great hosts', not 'ugh look at all the things Bride and Groom did wrong'.

I'm really happy that people had a great time at my wedding. Everyone raved about the food and drinks. One friend even told me, I really liked that your reception started immediately after your ceremony.

See, people do notice these things. They may not tell you to your face that your wedding sucked, but they will talk about you behind your back.

My mom said the only thing she would change about my wedding is the flowers. (I had to find a new florist within 2 months of my wedding because my original one went out of business). If the worst thing at my wedding was the flowers, I'll call that a win.

Cookie Pusher · February 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Wow, there are some gems on New Jersey, that is for sure. I'm sorry for those of you who are from NJ. . . you are getting a bad rap ;-)

Seriously, I have no idea how we can be 100% behind fully hosted bars and giving cash as wedding gifts (without a registry to tell us to do so - we just don't really do boxed gifts for weddings) can also be 100% behind multi-hour gaps. I'm scared that now honeyfunds are starting to rear their ugly heads in our state!

plainjane0415 · February 2015

Jells2dot0 said:

If someone wants to pull the "it's MY SPESHUL day" shit, they need to do what I did and elope. My DH and I got married where we wanted, wore what we wanted, said our vows when we wanted, ate what we wanted when we wanted, and no one could complain because no one knew.

Problem solved.

Yea but see, then they wouldn't be able to control their guests and boss everyone around. Where's the fun if they can't do that?! I mean it's their wedding, and everyone should treat them like royalty.

Jells2dot0 · February 2015

plainjane0415 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

If someone wants to pull the "it's MY SPESHUL day" shit, they need to do what I did and elope. My DH and I got married where we wanted, wore what we wanted, said our vows when we wanted, ate what we wanted when we wanted, and no one could complain because no one knew.

Problem solved.

Yea but see, then they wouldn't be able to control their guests and boss everyone around. Where's the fun if they can't do that?! I mean it's their wedding, and everyone should treat them like royalty.

That and apparently it's not real until your vows are said in public in front of people. I guess saying them in front of the judge or celebrant doesn't count.

KatieinBkln · February 2015

Jells2dot0 said:

plainjane0415 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

If someone wants to pull the "it's MY SPESHUL day" shit, they need to do what I did and elope. My DH and I got married where we wanted, wore what we wanted, said our vows when we wanted, ate what we wanted when we wanted, and no one could complain because no one knew.

Problem solved.

Yea but see, then they wouldn't be able to control their guests and boss everyone around. Where's the fun if they can't do that?! I mean it's their wedding, and everyone should treat them like royalty.

That and apparently it's not real until your vows are said in public in front of people. I guess saying them in front of the judge or celebrant doesn't count.

You'd better get started planning your re-do!

ohmrs2014 · February 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Wow, there are some gems on New Jersey, that is for sure. I'm sorry for those of you who are from NJ. . . you are getting a bad rap ;-)

That's alright. At least some of us are trying to set them straight.

ohmrs2014 · February 2015

Now there is a thread about donations instead of favors. Oh, NJ.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

ohmrs2014 said:

Now there is a thread about donations instead of favors. Oh, NJ.

God, it's so bad in there...also fascinating to see how things are spread regionally.

And by fascinating, I mean terrifying.

Inkdancer · February 2015

plainjane0415 said:

Let's not forget how BOOORING a dry wedding is.

Yep. My dry wedding with its mac'n'cheese bar and three flavors of cake was a total snoozefest. Don't know why all those people were on the dance floor... it was so boring!

drunkenwitch · February 2015

The entitlement it burns BUUUURRRRRRNNNSSSS!

ohmrs2014 · February 2015

With of these new snowflakes, I feel its talking to a brick wall.

mikenberger · February 2015

ohmrs2014 said:

With of these new snowflakes, I feel its talking to a brick wall.

A very thick. Dull. Brick wall.

thespeshulestsnowflake · February 2015

mikenberger said:

ohmrs2014 said:

With of these new snowflakes, I feel its talking to a brick wall.

A very thick. Dull. Brick wall.

Who love to talk in circles. 4 pages of circles.

novella1186 · February 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

mikenberger said:

ohmrs2014 said:

With of these new snowflakes, I feel its talking to a brick wall.

A very thick. Dull. Brick wall.

Who love to talk in circles. 4 pages of circles.

But... OK... I get it, but that question you all just answered 60 times? Can I ask the same question? Cuz I know you said to stop but does that mean... I should not stop?

levioosa · February 2015

novella1186 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

mikenberger said:

ohmrs2014 said:

With of these new snowflakes, I feel its talking to a brick wall.

A very thick. Dull. Brick wall.

Who love to talk in circles. 4 pages of circles.

But... OK... I get it, but that question you all just answered 60 times? Can I ask the same question? Cuz I know you said to stop but does that mean... I should not stop?

So....I should continue to listen to what others are saying, right? I mean, I'm hearing it all second hand....but that's where the real info is at, right?

climbingsingle · February 2015

levioosa said:

novella1186 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

mikenberger said:

ohmrs2014 said:

With of these new snowflakes, I feel its talking to a brick wall.

A very thick. Dull. Brick wall.

Who love to talk in circles. 4 pages of circles.

But... OK... I get it, but that question you all just answered 60 times? Can I ask the same question? Cuz I know you said to stop but does that mean... I should not stop?

So....I should continue to listen to what others are saying, right? I mean, I'm hearing it all second hand....but that's where the real info is at, right?

But what about people from just Texas? Can I please hear from them?

mikenberger · February 2015

levioosa said:

novella1186 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

mikenberger said:

ohmrs2014 said:

With of these new snowflakes, I feel its talking to a brick wall.

A very thick. Dull. Brick wall.

Who love to talk in circles. 4 pages of circles.

But... OK... I get it, but that question you all just answered 60 times? Can I ask the same question? Cuz I know you said to stop but does that mean... I should not stop?

So....I should continue to listen to what others are saying, right? I mean, I'm hearing it all second hand....but that's where the real info is at, right?

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

Bwahahahahaha I was coming over here to Vague-book about that exact thread @novella1186 @mikenberger @Et Al.

plainjane0415 · February 2015

Inkdancer said:

plainjane0415 said:

Let's not forget how BOOORING a dry wedding is.

Yep. My dry wedding with its mac'n'cheese bar and three flavors of cake was a total snoozefest. Don't know why all those people were on the dance floor... it was so boring!

God, mac and cheese and cake? That sounds awful.

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