Coffee Service Dilemma

huskypuppy14 · February 2015

marissaskisses said:

I appreciate your input, however not everybody can afford to fit the bill for 100%. I have been to many weddings where I had no problem putting a tip in the tip jar for a bartender, and if people have a problem with putting a $5 bill in the tip jar so they can have FREE drinks all night, then they can stick to the water and soda provided. I am not having a dry wedding simply because some people don't want to tip a bartender. I highly doubt any of my guests would give it a second thought. My question here was not in regards to the bartender and your statements really avoided the question entirely. As I am not even getting married in the state I live in it would be kind of hard to hire "some college kid" that is local there, when I am not.

First of all, you need to pay 100% for your wedding. If you can't afford to, then you don't have it. You're not entitled to have an evening wedding with dinner, alcohol and dancing. It's extremely rude to put any costs onto your guests for your reception. Your party, your money, period.

Second, I don't tip at open bars because the HOST (ie you) should be tipping the bartender. Sounds like there are other posters above who feel the same as me. So no, I will not be putting 5 dollars in the tip jar, because that is your responsibility.

Third, if you put something in your post, people are going to respond to it. That's how the internet works.

Fourth: what ohannabelle said.

FFS, you're making this so fucking difficult.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

marissaskisses said:

So our wedding venue is a beautiful farm in Southern California that doesn't provide any "services". We are opting for a taco station for food however it just dawned on me that we should serve coffee with the cake. This means either making coffee early on (at like 3:30 before the wedding) and leaving it out in hopes that by cake time there is still enough for everyone to have a cup and hoping that it is still hot when we cut cake at around 8 pm, or hiring a vendor JUST FOR COFFEE (which will undoubtedly be expensive). I have sent a request out to a coffee truck to see what they would charge me to set up at the venue. My question is in everyone's opinion would the coffee being out at the venue during the whole reception length be the better option (if you were the guest) or would you rather walk up to a coffee truck where you are either treated to one regular coffee from the bride and groom or have the option to purchase a fancier coffee, such as a mocha? We are not doing a cash bar, however to minimize costs we are allowing him to place a tip jar. I would hate for people to tip him heavily not knowing that they may need money for coffee later on. If I do go with the truck what would be the best way to address this with the guests?? Has anyone had this problem before?? HELP!!!!

You need to provide drinks- coffee, water, pop, etc.- for the entire duration of your reception, or at least the vast majority of it.

You need to hire a caterer that will do this on site. Guests will be uncomfortable and pissed if they can't get a drink when they are thirsty, and your guests should not be paying for these drinks.

If you can't afford to properly host the reception- provide food and drinks to your guests for the duration- then you need to cut costs elsewhere or postpone and have a longer engagement.

arrrghmatey · February 2015

pinkrevenge said:

ShesSoCold said:

pinkrevenge said:

PP's make a great point; if you're already having a bartender, it shouldn't be an arm and a leg for that bartender to provide hot, food-safe, simple coffee. You do not need a barista to pour a cup of black coffee and have some milk and sugar and stir sticks.

I still really question this idea that if you don't have coffee, all your guests are going to fall asleep at the wheel and die in a ditch and it will somehow be all your fault. Unless your family has an extensive history of careening off the road, why would this suddenly be a problem on your wedding day? Is your cake turkey meat flavored with sedative-laced icing? Was your dj going to play lullabys and soothing naptime sounds?

This sounds like my kind of wedding.

I'm already planning the bachelorette party for my sister who isn't engaged; it's just going to be a giant veg-fest. Yoga pants, delivery food of every flavor, pillow forts, Netflix marathons, Buzzfeed quizes, a nail polish station, and maybe some dick-shaped straws for a little humor. No makeup, curling irons, high heels, or sobriety required. Nap as you please.

I read that as "pillow farts."

I need another cup of coffee. The fact that it is also the subject matter of this OP is purely coincidental.

marissaskisses · February 2015

Due to low budgets we are not using a traditional caterer, we are using a taco lady who sets up for 2 hours only, they will not serve coffee after food has been served.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

amelisha · February 2015

Please see my previous post, as I believe it solves your "problem."

Rent a banquet coffee urn or two. Buy coffee, cream, and sugar. Get the bartender to turn the thing on before cake time. Ta-da!

ohannabelle · February 2015

marissaskisses said:

Due to low budgets we are not using a traditional caterer, we are using a taco lady who sets up for 2 hours only, they will not serve coffee after food has been served.

And there isn't one single solitary person in the universe aside from the taco lady, who can push a button on a coffee maker?

ohannabelle · February 2015

amelisha said:

Please see my previous post, as I believe it solves your "problem."

Rent a banquet coffee urn or two. Buy coffee, cream, and sugar. Get the bartender to turn the thing on before cake time. Ta-da!

I hear the sound of common sense.

Can it be this simple? Yes, it really is.

levioosa · February 2015

ohannabelle said:

amelisha said:

Please see my previous post, as I believe it solves your "problem."

Rent a banquet coffee urn or two. Buy coffee, cream, and sugar. Get the bartender to turn the thing on before cake time. Ta-da!

I hear the sound of common sense.
Can it be this simple? Yes, it really is.

You're asking too much! The bartender? The push of a button? A $35 coffee urn rental???

There is no place for common sense here!

Dreamergirl8812 · February 2015

Random thought: I think the thing that REALLY bothers me the most about a tip jar at the bar is that typically your 18% service fee (aka gratuity) gets divided up among the staff at the wedding. Why the fuck are bartenders so special that they get more on top of that, and therefore more than the servers, etc.?

That seriously bugs me.

Also, now I want tacos.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2015

marissaskisses said:

Due to low budgets we are not using a traditional caterer, we are using a taco lady who sets up for 2 hours only, they will not serve coffee after food has been served.

What about basic drinks like water and pop? Who is providing that and for how long?

How long is your reception? If it's 5 hours, then you need to provide drinks for 5 hours.

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

You want coffee but it's not in the budget. It's against etiquette to ask guests to pay for it, so that's not an option. Your remaining options are:

1) Adjust the budget and find a way to provide it

2) Don't serve coffee

It's not that hard. JFC.

cakemurderer · February 2015

ohannabelle said:
FFS. You go to a party rental store and pay 25 goddamned dollars and rent a good coffee maker, and you spend maybe 20 bucks for quality coffee, cream, sugar and stupid flavored creamers for people who don't appreciate good coffee, and the bartender or whoever flips the effing switch on ten minutes before cake time.

There. How hard was that? I've done this probably 100 times in my life, and it just isn't that difficult. It's coffee. You can buy a whole pound for ten bucks.

Amen. This was my first thought when I started to read this thread. This is a perfectly viable, easy option. I hope the OP wades through the outrage and ridicule to see the good suggestions in the replies. You're making this more complicated than it needs to be (I have the same tendency so understand), but there are a lot of good ideas in the replies.

OP, have you talked to the bartender to see if he/she is willing to turn a coffee maker on for you shortly before cake time? I hate the idea of having the coffee sitting around already brewed for hours since fresh is best, but that sounds like a good suggestion that you should pursue. That way you could set it all up beforehand and all he/she needs to do is turn it on. At least contact the bartender before dismissing the idea.

Honestly, as a guest, I would completely understand if the couple's on a budget that no coffee is served. It's not a typical expectation of a wedding guests, so no one would bat an eye if none was offered. It's sweet of you to want to provide it to perk your guests up, but if it's not in your budget then it's an easy non-essential item to cut out. I've made many drives late at night, tired as heck, and there are other ways to stay alert and awake. If you're on such a tight budget, definitely skip the coffee truck. Honestly, I would give you the side eye if you were asking guests to tip the bartender but I turn around and there's a coffee truck at least partially paid for by the hosts. I'd seriously question your budgeting choices and would resent the tip jar all the more.

I'm also in the camp of those who wouldn't come prepared with cash to tip the bartender. I carry only the essentials in my clutch and, while I would feel guilty, the bartender wouldn't be getting a tip from me. Definitely something to consider when you get to the end of the night. An additional tip might be in order from you.

madamerwin · February 2015

pinkrevenge said:

ShesSoCold said:

pinkrevenge said:

PP's make a great point; if you're already having a bartender, it shouldn't be an arm and a leg for that bartender to provide hot, food-safe, simple coffee. You do not need a barista to pour a cup of black coffee and have some milk and sugar and stir sticks.

I still really question this idea that if you don't have coffee, all your guests are going to fall asleep at the wheel and die in a ditch and it will somehow be all your fault. Unless your family has an extensive history of careening off the road, why would this suddenly be a problem on your wedding day? Is your cake turkey meat flavored with sedative-laced icing? Was your dj going to play lullabys and soothing naptime sounds?

This sounds like my kind of wedding.

I'm already planning the bachelorette party for my sister who isn't engaged; it's just going to be a giant veg-fest. Yoga pants, delivery food of every flavor, pillow forts, Netflix marathons, Buzzfeed quizes, a nail polish station, and maybe some dick-shaped straws for a little humor. No makeup, curling irons, high heels, or sobriety required. Nap as you please.

That sounds like my kind of bachelorette party!

lyndausvi · February 2015

I've worked a lot of weddings in my life time. The amount of coffee consumed is such a small amount it really doesn't need this much time and thought put into it.

Here is a 42 cup urn on Amazon for $40.

You can buy coffee for next to nothing. After the party you can even sell the urn and re-coup some of the money. Have your bartender make the coffee. Bartenders man the beverage station. Coffee is a beverage.

You are making this WAY too complicated. If you can't afford to pay for the tip for your bartender, you have no business trucking in a coffee truck. I'm willing to bet they will have a minuium and that will be more than a few cups of regular coffee you are willing to pay for.

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

Damn OP, who lit the fuse on your tampon this morning?

This is not a damn crisis, and nobody here as said anything worthy of the hostility you've been tossing at them.

ashley8918 · February 2015

I feel like i'm in the twilight zone. WHY CANT THE BARTENDER PUSH THE BUTTON ON THE COFFEE THINGIE?

Couggal12 · February 2015

Having coffee is seriously worrying you this much? Why don't you just not serve it? I know, crazy idea.

Also, it's a really shitty thing to pass the cost of tipping onto your guests.

ShesSoCold · February 2015

lolo883 said:

Damn OP, who lit the fuse on your tampon this morning?

This is not a damn crisis, and nobody here as said anything worthy of the hostility you've been tossing at them.

It's A DILEMMA. Can't you read?!

amelisha · February 2015

ShesSoCold said:

lolo883 said:

Damn OP, who lit the fuse on your tampon this morning?

This is not a damn crisis, and nobody here as said anything worthy of the hostility you've been tossing at them.

It's A DILEMMA. Can't you read?!

But when life hands you lemons, you really should be making dilemmanade. Not coffee. Duh.

DaniBites · February 2015

amelisha said:

ShesSoCold said:

lolo883 said:

Damn OP, who lit the fuse on your tampon this morning?

This is not a damn crisis, and nobody here as said anything worthy of the hostility you've been tossing at them.

It's A DILEMMA. Can't you read?!

But when life hands you lemons, you really should be making dilemmanade. Not coffee. Duh.

No, you should be making infused fucking waters with fancy dispensers instead of renting a coffee urn, right OP?

Knottie67053264 · February 2015

Oh hell, just have an ATM put in somewhere.

Knottie67053264 · February 2015

Oh hell, just have an ATM put in somewhere.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

[Deleted User] · February 2015

madamerwin · February 2015

pinkrevenge said:

Seriously, are you having a stress stroke? We're trying to get you from point A to point B and you're careening off to point Q and point Banana. I don't even know where your head is anymore.

I like you.

Kahlyla · February 2015

pinkrevenge said:

How outside parties view you right now:

You: I'm serving cake and thought I should have coffee, but I'm on a tight budget. Should I rent a coffee truck and only partially host it and expect my guests to cover the gratuity, or have coffee that sits in a thing and just turns to murky shit?

PP's: You should do neither of those things. Coffee is not necessary, so save that money and cover the gratuity, or find somewhere else, like flowers and decor, to trim your budget and cover the full costs of that truck. Or get a keurig and k-cups and then take that keurig home, or just rent a carafe and push the button when it's time to serve coffee.

You; YOU GUYS CLEARLY HAVE MUSH FOR BRAINS I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY AND I WON'T BUY A STUPID COFFEE MAKER OR PROPERLY HOST MY GUESTS, FUCK YOU THE TACO LADY CAN'T BE EXPEXTED TO PUSH A BUTTON AND NEITHER CAN THE BARTENDER THOUGH I HAVE YET TO EXPLAIN WHY AND I HATE YOU RICH SNOBS YOU SUCK IF I DON'T SERVE COFFEE ALL MY GUESTS WILL FALL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL AND DIE and did I mention I deicided to buy multiple fancy water-infusing drink dispensers and all the stuff to infuse the water?

PPs: that makes no sense. 1. no one is going to die if they don't get coffee 2. you don't need coffee, if you're that worried, don't serve it at all 3. if you rent the truck you MUST cover the truck, but I would question how you can have a whole rented truck and not cover the tip for your bartender 4. why can't the bartender provide coffee or push the button? 5. Why can't you trim the budget from somewhere else? We didn't say you HAD to magically have more money, just that your money can be spent better elsewhere 6. WTF fancy waters in multiple flavors? THIS is what we're talking about when we say spend your money elsewhere! Coffee carafe rental and accessories would be WAY cheaper than a bunch of infused waters.

You: I'm not made of money!

Seriously, are you having a stress stroke? We're trying to get you from point A to point B and you're careening off to point Q and point Banana. I don't even know where your head is anymore.

Oh wait, I know what you want to hear!

Yes. Only half-host something. Have a bunch of goofy waters and a coffee truck with only 1 plain cup of coffee per person and demand your guests pay for all the tip (LOL good luck with that, you didn't have plans for monetary gifts, did you?) and do whatever your heart desires because you are RIGHT and we are WRONG.

Quoting for awesomeness and because I am DYING and fucking love you right now.

theartistformerlyknownas · February 2015

@pinkrevenge‌ I was giggling through that whole thing but fucking lost it at Point Banana.

hyechica81 · February 2015

omg really i was on a very very tight budget for my wedding and i managed to cut corners and pull it off. granted i got married in a church and had a banquet venue reception. i went with less expensive flowers which happened to be my favorite flowers. my venue offered an add on package that included dj cake and centerpieces for 895. If i went with an outside dj my cost would have been around 1500 cake around 300 and centerpeices at least 150-200 if not more. we really wanted good food and drinks for our guest so we spent a little more on that.

you were given great ideas in terms of the coffee and you didnt like it. infused water id probably not drink it unless it was lemon water, i only drink water and i am not huge on flavored water. why not offer just one infused water. and i dont drink coffee so if you were serving me cake id want water to wash it down

can you work something out with the coffee truck to offer like one signature coffee and a regular or decaf coffee.?

and if you cant afford to tip him then dont do coffee at all

you guest should not have to open any pockets at your wedding for anything

the wedding is hosted by you to thank your guest for coming and celebrating your life together and husband and wife

sarahufl · February 2015

My only suggestion is to also get bottles of Bailey's for the coffee station. Ours were quite popular.

Oh, and I should add- I rented urns and bought coffee/tea/sweeteners/milk AND the Baileys AND rented mugs for less than $200.

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