Do you ever think about...

jenna8984 · February 2015

...how other people's decisions have a direct effect on YOUR life? We like to think that we are in charge of our own destiny but if you really stop and think about how many choices other people have made that trickle to you. I'll give some examples in my life and then you can share some of yours!

5 years ago, I was sick of living in AZ and wanted to be back on the East Coast. I flew to DC for a job interview. That person's decision to not hire me changed the course of my life. (never would have moved back to MA/ met my husband)

5 years ago, my best friend flew to AZ for a job interview. She did not get the job. If she had, I probably would have stayed in AZ with her and never met my husband.

2 years ago, woman down the street didn't properly secure her asshole dog. He attacked me while on my run. Besides the emotional trauma, my body wouldn't have these physical scars.

novella1186 · February 2015

Oh man that would be awful to get attacked by a dog

I think of stuff like that sometimes too. Like one night my friend was at a bar with one of her guy friends from college, and randomly decided to text me and tell me I should meet this guy friend of hers. Now I'm marrying him. If that thought hadn't occurred to her, and she had never decided to introduce us to each other, obviously I would never have met him at all. Makes me wonder who I would have ended up with, or if I'd still be single, or if I would have married someone who wasn't really right for me and it wouldn't have lasted... Who knows.

cupcait927 · February 2015

I know that if I hadn't moved in with my old roommate, I would've never met H. We had gone to high school together but had no mutual friends (that I knew of), no mutual interests and worked in different industries. We lived in the same town but most likely would've never run into each other. I was single, living with my roommate and she ended up being the one to help us find each other. I don't think it would've happened without her. I had no idea she even knew him until he randomly came up in conversation one day when her sister was over.

NowIAmSyp · February 2015

My co-worker had a small get together, even though she was having some work done at her house. She invited me over, and her worker that was tiling the bathroom floor is now my FI (he does masonry part-time).

Had she not decided to have people over because of the work being done, or had my FI decided he didn't really want to work on a Friday night, we never would have met...

pinkcow13 · February 2015

My dream school was Syracuse University. I had the grades to get into the University (At the time I think it was like a B+ to A- average), but I wanted to go into journalism. Against my better judgement, I applied to their journalism school which required higher SAT scores, and I believe an A- to A GPA. I didn't get in, and went to the school I graduated from with the intentions of transferring. Had I gotten into Syracuse, I definitely would not have met FI. And chances are I'd be a lot deeper in the hole with my student loans.

If my parents had not decided to move when I was 8, and enroll me in the school across the street from us, then I would not have met my best friend. I can't imagine going through my life and everything in it from the age of 8 until now, without her as my best friend.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

My life would definitely be totally didn't if I didn't meet FI... wouldn't have a house, dog, awesome son, etc. FI got a last minute invite to go to a bachelor party in Nashville, and almost didn't go. I was there for a bachelorette party that same weekend and our groups met up at a bar!

I decided to text him the following day, and the rest is history

FiancB · February 2015

I had this friend for years that was a dwarf. We went to the same college but lived in separate dorms. She got assigned a dorm on an upper floor and she got it changed since she officially is disabled and it would've been difficult for her to go up and down stairs all the time. She then didn't like her roommate, but liked someone else who also didn't like their roommate, so they did a switcharoo.

If it weren't for those circumstances, I wouldn't have met with my ex fiance of 5 years who was in the room next to them. And I mean, I hate the guy now but there's no denying that had a huge impact on my life. If she weren't a dwarf and hadn't felt the need to move, or decided to suck it up, or had liked her first roommate, or had been put in a different dorm all together I wouldn't have met him.

Likewise I met H in a small town in northern MN. He didn't want to live there; he was raised in the twin cities but couldn't get his first teaching job there so he radiated out and ended up there. I didn't want to be there; there'd been an internship in KY I'd desperately wanted but didn't get, so I took one in northern MN and then met him.

If either of us got the jobs we wanted we wouldn't have met.

cupcait927 · February 2015

pinkcow13 said:

My dream school was Syracuse University. I had the grades to get into the University (At the time I think it was like a B+ to A- average), but I wanted to go into journalism. Against my better judgement, I applied to their journalism school which required higher SAT scores, and I believe an A- to A GPA. I didn't get in, and went to the school I graduated from with the intentions of transferring. Had I gotten into Syracuse, I definitely would not have met FI. And chances are I'd be a lot deeper in the hole with my student loans.

If my parents had not decided to move when I was 8, and enroll me in the school across the street from us, then I would not have met my best friend. I can't imagine going through my life and everything in it from the age of 8 until now, without her as my best friend.

But if you had gone to Syracuse for journalism there's a very good chance you could've met me! I had a lot of friends in the Newhouse school, including a couple that specifically were in the journalism program

abl13 · February 2015

In college I was interviewing for internships and was rejected by all of my top choices. I ended up having to interview with a company I wasn't interested in working for because they required working a lot of overtime. They were the only ones that brought me in for an office interview and my H was one of my interviewers. They made me an offer and we started dating 3 years later. If I had gotten an offer from one of my top choices I would never have met him.

sarahufl · February 2015

I can trace meeting H to a decision I made way back my junior year of college, in 2003. I decided to apply my college orientation staff for the summer. It was a super intense application process and I was chosen (yay!). It was there that I met my best friend.

She moved to New York after we graduated, and a couple years later, bored in my hometown, I followed her. For a few years, we were inseparable but then she decided to move back home. I was sort of at a loss- she was my primary friend in New York and I wasn't sure how I would manage without her. Right before she left, I met another girl at a dinner party (oddly enough, she was a random co-worker of my friend who was co-hosting the party and they didn't even know each other that well). Since BFF was moving back to Florida, I decided I needed to be more aggressive about making new friends, so I started hanging out with the girl I met at the dinner party.

A few weeks later, she had a Facebook status about joining her bowling team and I figured why the hell not? I needed friends and something to do over the winter. Well, guess who was on that bowling team? My future husband.

Funny how things work out.

pinkcow13 · February 2015

cupcait927 said:

pinkcow13 said:

My dream school was Syracuse University. I had the grades to get into the University (At the time I think it was like a B+ to A- average), but I wanted to go into journalism. Against my better judgement, I applied to their journalism school which required higher SAT scores, and I believe an A- to A GPA. I didn't get in, and went to the school I graduated from with the intentions of transferring. Had I gotten into Syracuse, I definitely would not have met FI. And chances are I'd be a lot deeper in the hole with my student loans.

If my parents had not decided to move when I was 8, and enroll me in the school across the street from us, then I would not have met my best friend. I can't imagine going through my life and everything in it from the age of 8 until now, without her as my best friend.

But if you had gone to Syracuse for journalism there's a very good chance you could've met me! I had a lot of friends in the Newhouse school, including a couple that specifically were in the journalism program

Yes, the Newhouse school! Broke my heart, that damn school. Who knows, we could have been BFF's right now!

beethery · February 2015

If I had not moved back to new england pursuing a shitty co-dependent relationship with an alcoholic, I would never have broken it off with him and gotten together with FI.

maeday2 · February 2015

All the time.

One of my favorite movies is Crash. It really connects how deeply other people's actions can impact your life.

My grandmother was the crown jewel of our family. Matriarch and life of the party in every way. I grew up near her, but moved 800 miles away later on in life. My cousin scheduled her wedding for May 28, 2005 so I was in town that week. I spent a wonderful day with my grandmother on the 24th. She was killed by a drunk driver on the 25th.

Had there not been a wedding to go to, I wouldn't have those awesome memories of that wonderful day we spent together.

morewineplease · February 2015

I have never though about it as someone else’s decisions affecting my life but I do think about how things would be different if I had done something different.

If we had picked a different apartment when moving to a new state we would not have been friends with anyone we are friends with now in this place.

If we had not have moved here I might never had started running, and would never have run a ½ marathon.

Clearly each of these also depended on the decisions of others too. Like the landlord at the place we choose got back to us before the other place so we are here. I was offered the Job down here as we moved.

NowIamMrsKlein · February 2015

If my FI had never been previously engaged I never would have met him!

Couggal12 · February 2015

I think about that a lot of times. If I hadn't gone to the college where I am now and my parents and family didn't move out of state, I would have never met DH.

stefuhknee · February 2015

I wonder these things often...

If I hadn't transferred from the SUNY I was going to, to the CUNY I graduated from, I'd never have pledged the sorority I'm in or made the friends and connections I've made. I'd definitely have higher student loans too, eek.

If my best friend hadn't told me that her friend was friends with my SO on MySpace (we all went to JHS together) then I never would have sent him a friend request and he never would have asked me out and we wouldn't be here 8 years later.

And more recently if my sister wouldn't have waited until 430pm to pick up my dad from the airport when he was landing at that time and caught a flat then I wouldn't have had to leave work at 530 to drive out of my way to the airport, wander around for over an hr looking for my dad who had already caught a cab home because his phone was broken and he thought we had forgotten about him.

afox007 · February 2015

There was a large chain of events leading to me meeting FI. If I hadn't been tired of commuting an hour a day I would never have left a stable job to work for a small business by my house, which means I wouldn't have been unemployed when they went under, and wouldn't have been so desperate for a job that I took a crappy call center job.

I hated that job so I was applying for anything and everything I found. Even though I thought I was way under qualified I applied for the job where I eventually met FI.

kmbay84 · February 2015

I think about this often too.

If I never would have gotten a job at a veterinary clinic and worked for the a hole veterinarian for five years (stupid on my part), then I never would have met one of my best friends about nine years ago. I never could have gotten through the rest of my life without her. She has always been a system of support when I was going through silly drama with my other friends and always seems to have just GOTTEN me, which I feel like another friend just did not. She was always my nonjudgmental shoulder to cry on and seemed to know just what to say to lift up my spirits. Before my FI came along, she was definitely my rock. She still is my rock. There is a reason why I asked her to be a maid of honor.

Also, if I didn't happen to be at her apartment one time and showing her my online dating profile, my FI's picture might not have popped up. I read it over and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. I was debating whether to message him or not, and upon her encouragement, I did. Lo and behold we are now getting married.

jenna8984 · February 2015

Thought of another....my best friend was born in CA and lived in a very sketchy area during the mid 80's when the gangs were really bad. She came home from school one day at 9 years old and asked her mom which gang they belonged to. Her mom said fuck this, and packed a few suitcases and told my friend and her siblings that they were going "on vacation" to the aunt's house in Massachusetts. When they got here, my friend's mom said hey guess what, we are not going back, we live here now. If her mom hadn't had the courage to do that on her own and take 3 kids out of a bad situation, I wouldn't have my best friend.

bethsmiles · February 2015

I do think about this sometimes. I always thought if SO and I hadn't picked the same college and the same dorm we wouldn't even know each other. But we recently found out that my dad's college roommate/best friend from that time became very good friends with SO's parents after my parents moved away from Colorado. It's a crazy connection, but maybe we would've met another way.

For the most part I think I'm where I am because of choices I made, not the decisions/actions of others. However, I do think I'd be a very different person if my parents had not decided to live in Idaho. Growing up in an extremely religious town where you aren't that religion is a defining experience for sure.

flyingfoxes · February 2015

Yep. If the Army hadn't decided to station my FI in KS, we would never have crossed paths. I kinda look forward to the new connections I'll make in KY when we move this summer.

thisismynickname2 · February 2015

These are so interesting to read!

I was debating between music and journalism for a college major. I was such a little overachiever with so many clubs and stuff, I couldn't prepare for an audition to the music school. Went with journalism instead. My life would be crazy different if I'd done music.

I got laid off in January 2008 with a few months notice, but immediately found a job to begin February. Other people waited it out for the severance bonus. Well, at the new job, you don't qualify for a promotion unless you've been in your role 6 months at minimum. At exactly six months after starting, a position opened up, which I earned, which set me on the professional path I'm on today. Plus, I got turned down for other promotions twice, which thank God- I ended up with an even better promotion later on.

Finally, I was dating a guy I'd met online and he dumped me out of the blue after about 3 months of dating. I was devastated and frustrated with the singles scene and immediately put myself back on the online market. After 10 days on Match I met my now-husband. Sure glad I got dumped!

hellosweetie1015 · February 2015

If FI hadn't ended things with his ex-FI and eventually gotten on OKCupid, I would have never ever met him. Our circles didn't even touch; we had small circles based largely on our jobs. I had one mutual friend with him on Facebook, who was not a person I spent time with regularly, AND she only knew him from when he was in our college band 6 years prior.

If my BFF hadn't gotten her groups mixed up at freshman orientation, I would have never met her. She came in late and pretty much struck up with me quick.

If my mom had done what my dad wanted her to when she found out she was pregnant 22 years ago, I probably wouldn't have either of my baby sisters.

redheadbride15 · February 2015

WARNING - this post contains exceptionally nerdy content. Read at your own risk.

FI and I were just discussing something very related to this at the dinner table last night after reading an article on a man named Hugh Everett, a theoretical physicist who coined the "many-worlds interpretation" in the 1950s. In short, this theory, which is based off the laws of quantum mechanics, holds that there are an infinite number of universes, each one derived from the outcome of a set of possible choices at each given point of time. In other words, there is a world for every possible combination of outcomes from many divergent points in space and time. There's a nice Wikipedia article on it here.

Everything that happens is in part a consequence of the preceding series of events. There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Our lives could very easily have gone in a totally different direction.

Yes, this was a typical dinner conversation for us. *facepalm*

hellosweetie1015 · February 2015

redheadbride15 said:
WARNING - this post contains exceptionally nerdy content. Read at your own risk.

FI and I were just discussing something very related to this at the dinner table last night after reading an article on a man named Hugh Everett, a theoretical physicist who coined the "many-worlds interpretation" in the 1950s. In short, this theory, which is based off the laws of quantum mechanics, holds that there are an infinite number of universes, each one derived from the outcome of a set of possible choices at each given point of time. In other words, there is a world for every possible combination of outcomes from many divergent points in space and time. There's a nice Wikipedia article on it here.

Everything that happens is in part a consequence of the preceding series of events. There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Our lives could very easily have gone in a totally different direction.

Yes, this was a typical dinner conversation for us. *facepalm*

Could be worse.

I just tried to convince FI that our surprise snow day would be best spent binge watching the Harry Potter movies. He was... less than impressed.

levioosa · February 2015

hellosweetie1015 said:

WARNING - this post contains exceptionally nerdy content. Read at your own risk.

FI and I were just discussing something very related to this at the dinner table last night after reading an article on a man named Hugh Everett, a theoretical physicist who coined the "many-worlds interpretation" in the 1950s. In short, this theory, which is based off the laws of quantum mechanics, holds that there are an infinite number of universes, each one derived from the outcome of a set of possible choices at each given point of time. In other words, there is a world for every possible combination of outcomes from many divergent points in space and time. There's a nice Wikipedia article on it here.

Everything that happens is in part a consequence of the preceding series of events. There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Our lives could very easily have gone in a totally different direction.

Yes, this was a typical dinner conversation for us. *facepalm*
Could be worse. I just tried to convince FI that our surprise snow day would be best spent binge watching the Harry Potter movies. He was... less than impressed.

There is literally no better way to spend a snow day than watching Harry Potter. Except maybe by breaking it up with sex and mac and cheese.

flutteringinfl · February 2015

If I hadn't decided to sneak out of work to try to get those tickets, and if I hadn't arrived almost exactly when I did, I wouldn't have met FI. It is pretty weird to think about.

littlemushroom · February 2015

redheadbride15 said:
WARNING - this post contains exceptionally nerdy content. Read at your own risk.

FI and I were just discussing something very related to this at the dinner table last night after reading an article on a man named Hugh Everett, a theoretical physicist who coined the "many-worlds interpretation" in the 1950s. In short, this theory, which is based off the laws of quantum mechanics, holds that there are an infinite number of universes, each one derived from the outcome of a set of possible choices at each given point of time. In other words, there is a world for every possible combination of outcomes from many divergent points in space and time. There's a nice Wikipedia article on it here.

Everything that happens is in part a consequence of the preceding series of events. There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Our lives could very easily have gone in a totally different direction.

Yes, this was a typical dinner conversation for us. *facepalm*

Have you guys watched the movie Coherence? If not, you totally should, especially if that is typical dinner conversation.

redheadbride15 · February 2015

levioosa said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

WARNING - this post contains exceptionally nerdy content. Read at your own risk.

FI and I were just discussing something very related to this at the dinner table last night after reading an article on a man named Hugh Everett, a theoretical physicist who coined the "many-worlds interpretation" in the 1950s. In short, this theory, which is based off the laws of quantum mechanics, holds that there are an infinite number of universes, each one derived from the outcome of a set of possible choices at each given point of time. In other words, there is a world for every possible combination of outcomes from many divergent points in space and time. There's a nice Wikipedia article on it here.

Everything that happens is in part a consequence of the preceding series of events. There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Our lives could very easily have gone in a totally different direction.

Yes, this was a typical dinner conversation for us. *facepalm*
Could be worse. I just tried to convince FI that our surprise snow day would be best spent binge watching the Harry Potter movies. He was... less than impressed.

There is literally no better way to spend a snow day than watching Harry Potter. Except maybe by breaking it up with sex and mac and cheese.

I second this. A snow day Harry Potter marathon sounds AWE.SOME! Sex and mac and cheese are pretty good too.

And by the way, also along the many worlds interpretation - imagine this:
There may be other worlds out there in which you never met your FI/DH, you are engaged/married to another man, you are single, you are dead, you never existed in the first place, human beings never existed in the first place, life on earth never happened, the solar system or Milky Way was never formed... etc.

GoldenPenguin · February 2015

I LOVE these!!

I always think about if I had gone to state school instead of private school, and how I wouldn't have student loans. But if I hadn't gone to the college I went to, I more than likely wouldn't have found the profession I'm in today. I wouldn't be living where I am today, and I wouldn't have had the connection that brought FI & I together (we both went to the same college, where we knew a lot of the same people, but weren't friends).

I think about how many jobs I applied for & interviewed for in Boston & back home over the years, and where I would be in life if I had gotten any one of those. Especially the one that put me 45 minutes away from my hometown, but also living in the same town where my horrible ex-bf and his now-wife live.

I also think about if I hadn't dated that ex-bf, and he didn't tell me he wanted to marry me, how I probably never would have come onto TK, and wouldn't have met some of my very best friends, including one of my bridesmaids!

Do you ever think about...

Re: Do you ever think about...

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