Worried I am going to hate my wedding pictures. Vent.

loveislouder · March 2015

That is a beautiful dress and you look beautiful in it!

julieanne912 · March 2015

chloe97 said:
@KatWAG and @loveislouder, I was going to post the engagement pics, but I realized that FI would kill me if I posted our pics online. Instead here is a pic of me in my wedding dress, so you can see the problem areas that I am self-concious about.

OMG you look great!!

doeydo · March 2015

Am I crazy or did Marilyn not wear a corset or something too?

Anywho, re OP's dress picture: it is a sample, once it comes in in your size and fitted to your body it should be more "flattering". If you are still concerned, you can wear some structured undergarments. Now onto some things I like about your body in the picture (that's what we were doing, right?): you have a nice collar bone area, perfect proportions, a nice shape, good skin, smooth and lovely looking arms, and also boobs.

novella1186 · March 2015

doeydo said:
Am I crazy or did Marilyn not wear a corset or something too?

Anywho, re OP's dress picture: it is a sample, once it comes in in your size and fitted to your body it should be more "flattering". If you are still concerned, you can wear some structured undergarments. Now onto some things I like about your body in the picture (that's what we were doing, right?): you have a nice collar bone area, perfect proportions, a nice shape, good skin, smooth and lovely looking arms, and also boobs.

Yep, major corset.

arrippa · March 2015

chloe97 said:
@KatWAG and @loveislouder, I was going to post the engagement pics, but I realized that FI would kill me if I posted our pics online. Instead here is a pic of me in my wedding dress, so you can see the problem areas that I am self-concious about.

You look great! I love your dress.

plainjane0415 · March 2015

Girl, you're crazy! You look awesome! I love your dress.

NowIAmSyp · March 2015

You look great! Honestly- your fears are unfounded- it's a beautiful dress, and you look great in it.

Great job with the dress selection

Sugargirl1019 · March 2015

Omgsh. I was shocked to see you. In a fabulous way! You look so beautiful in that dress. What a great shape.

Find a sexy white long corset to wear underneath, or spanx that clip to your bra. I wore spanx under mine.

You are going to be so radiantly beautiful on your wedding day, no one is going to notice any physical body "flaws" you think you have.

I had a picture done where DH is in front and I'm standing behind him - and we are angled to the side. It would definitely hide the stomach. Talk to your photographer about your concerns and they can choose better poses for you so that you will LOVE your wedding pictures.

tpwkalyn · March 2015

chloe97 said:
@KatWAG and @loveislouder, I was going to post the engagement pics, but I realized that FI would kill me if I posted our pics online. Instead here is a pic of me in my wedding dress, so you can see the problem areas that I am self-concious about.

Oh my god are you kidding you look FABULOUS! Seriously, I can't get over how phenomenal that dress looks on you. I love it and I love it ON you, holy crap.

I have the same feels as you about my arms. My wedding dress is a ball gown, so I don't really have to worry about it fitting anywhere but my bust (which is pretty big - I had to order a 16), but I'm so self conscious about my arms. I've been trying some arm workouts, but I've kinda come to the conclusion that hey, even if my arms don't get smaller, I'm still gonna look killer in my dress and my FI is gonna be so stoked to see me.

You're going to look stunning and perfect on your wedding day & in your pictures, and your FI will be so pumped to see you in your dress.

plainjane0415 · March 2015

Sugargirl1019 said:
Omgsh. I was shocked to see you. In a fabulous way! You look so beautiful in that dress. What a great shape.

Find a sexy white long corset to wear underneath, or spanx that clip to your bra. I wore spanx under mine.

You are going to be so radiantly beautiful on your wedding day, no one is going to notice any physical body "flaws" you think you have.

I had a picture done where DH is in front and I'm standing behind him - and we are angled to the side. It would definitely hide the stomach. Talk to your photographer about your concerns and they can choose better poses for you so that you will LOVE your wedding pictures.

Not to threadjack, but I just got some spanx over the weekend, and they have the clip to your bra option lol.. how do you attach them to your bra? I couldn't figure it out.

flyingfoxes · March 2015

You are gonna rock that dress - you have an amazing shape.

chloe97 · March 2015

The back is pretty low cut (to just below my bra line when I was wearing a strapless bra). I think I am going to get bra cups put in and am on the search for the right kind of spanx. If anyone has any ideas of good spanx, let me know!

julieanne912 · March 2015

I found that the dresses with built in corsets made my body look AMAZING even though I'm definitely soft around the middle. A few years ago I lost 60+lbs, but I didn't work out so I still remained pretty soft. I've regained about 20 of it, but my dress with the built in corset (it's a narrow A-line dress) makes me look at least 10-15lbs thinner. So maybe talk to your seamstress when the time comes, tell her of your concerns (don't be shy about it, they can work wonders), and she can probably add some things on the inside of the dress to help out whatever you're worried about.

And uh yeah, I hate my arms too. One is bigger than the other and has a 7" long scar from a surgery. We all have the stuff we hate, thankfully well built wedding dresses and tailoring helps out all of those issues

julieanne912 · March 2015

Funny, The Knot just posted this article on Facebook a few minutes ago https://www.theknot.com/content/how-to-look-10-pounds-thinner-for-your-wedding-day/?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=mar2015&utm_campaign=beauty-fashion

[Deleted User] · March 2015

Um girl, your bod is killer! I can tell why you picked that dress, it really defines your waist and is definitely a good shape for you! I agree some shapewear might make you feel more pulled together than your day to day underwear. Try to find some before your first fitting!

But seriously, you look beautiful!

bethsmiles · March 2015

chloe97 said:
@KatWAG and @loveislouder, I was going to post the engagement pics, but I realized that FI would kill me if I posted our pics online. Instead here is a pic of me in my wedding dress, so you can see the problem areas that I am self-concious about.

Girl, you seriously look fabulous! If that's a bad picture taken by your mom, you have nothing to worry about when you are getting professional pictures taken on your wedding day!

Dreamergirl8812 · March 2015

You look beautiful in that pic! I'm envious of your curves. I always wanted that hourglass shape, especially in a wedding dress.

As for your working out, congratulations on sticking with a fitness routine for 6 months. Even if you haven't gotten the results you want yet, it is commendable that you have worked so hard. That in itself deserves a round of applause.

You need to feel comfortable telling your seamstress your insecurities and what parts of the dress you want altered to flatter your body. That is her job. I was insecure about my fitting appointments so I went alone. I was really comfortable alone and made a point to be honest with her about what I thought and what I wanted. Think of you seamstress as you would your doctor. You would never hide your sexual history from your gyno, because she's there to help, not to judge. And she has probably seen everything.

Seriously though, you look beautiful. The only things you really need are an experienced therapist and a good seamstress.

**Pet peeve alert: a woman who strength trains 3x/week should gain about 1-2 pounds a month (muscle). A woman losing weight through nutrition should lose about 1-2 pounds a week (fat). So the whole "muscle ways more than fat" thing is misguided.**

lovegood90 · March 2015

You look amazing in that dress! Honestly, if you're feeling insecure (you totally shouldn't but hey, we all do) then slap on some shape wear for an extra kick of confidence. Works for me!

climbingsingle · March 2015

You look fantastic in that dress. Seriously. You have nothing to be self conscious about!!

lavenderfields13 · March 2015

OP, I don't post here too often but I am posting just to tell you how amazing you look in your dress! I know we all have something we don't love about our bodies and we're hardest on ourselves but seriously, you look gorgeous.

KatWAG · March 2015

novella1186 said:

chloe97 said:
@KatWAG and @loveislouder, I was going to post the engagement pics, but I realized that FI would kill me if I posted our pics online. Instead here is a pic of me in my wedding dress, so you can see the problem areas that I am self-concious about.
Dude. Seriously? You are freakin gorgeous! See, those are the curves I was talking about, that I'm so jealous of. GORGEOUS!

I also meant to say earlier that I commend you for working out so hard. I'm supposed to do cardio because heart disease runs in my family, and I usually only do about 20 minutes twice a week, if that. You sound like a total badass to me. A gorgeous, curvy badass.

@chloe97. Stop it. Novella is right. Those are curves and amazing curves at that!! You should be strutting your shit down the aisle!!

But if you are truly worried about your middle, throw on a part of spanx and call it a day.

ETA: just read the other post, and this is a prime example of why i love TK.

KatWAG · March 2015

plainjane0415 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:
Omgsh. I was shocked to see you. In a fabulous way! You look so beautiful in that dress. What a great shape.

Find a sexy white long corset to wear underneath, or spanx that clip to your bra. I wore spanx under mine.

You are going to be so radiantly beautiful on your wedding day, no one is going to notice any physical body "flaws" you think you have.

I had a picture done where DH is in front and I'm standing behind him - and we are angled to the side. It would definitely hide the stomach. Talk to your photographer about your concerns and they can choose better poses for you so that you will LOVE your wedding pictures.

Not to threadjack, but I just got some spanx over the weekend, and they have the clip to your bra option lol.. how do you attach them to your bra? I couldn't figure it out.

@plainjane0415 I am not sure all spanx are the same but my spanx come with another bra strap type thingy (similar to what comes with a strapless bras) So it hooks to the underside of your spanx, then you loop it over the side of bra, kind of under you armpit, and then hook the strap back into the same place.

So it doesn't exactly attach to your bra so much as loop over your bra so that your spanx are less likely to slip down. Keep in mind this doesn't really work if you are wearing a strapless bra because that could slip down also.

kaitlynmichelle · March 2015

You look amazing! Truly.

You'll love your photos. I was anxious about how I looked in my dress and that my arms aren't toned. I'm going to share my favourite wedding photo with you. Do I dislike my arm in it since it was pushed against my side? Yes. Do I hate my photos as a result? Hell no! You'll be so radiant and full of excitement that day, so THAT should be the focus of your photos. I can get nit picky with a lot of my pictures for my curves, but seeing how happy we were that day makes me forget about my trouble areas.

P.s. I love your dress.

flbride2015 · March 2015

chloe97 said:
I am 20-30 lbs heavier than my FI. It's not that I am that much overweight- it's just that he is a petite man. I love him dearly,he is the BEST person I know, but I HATE how we look in pictures next to each other. I look massive. Throughout our relationship, I have solved for this by taking selfies where only our faces/upper body shows. I really really have tried really hard to not let it bother me, but over the course of our relationship, I have gained 10-15 lbs. Last September, before we even got engaged, I went to work trying to lose the weight and I am 5 lbs away from where I was before I met him. Great, right? Well I still have 20 to go until I can honestly say that I way the same or less than him (he is 2 inches taller than me) and reach what would the high end of the normal BMI chart. I work out 4-5 times a week (I do Crossfit, run, do pilates) and I track my calories, but every week I weigh myself, I take my measurements, and I am just not getting there as fast as I need to to reach my goal. It's just been such a slow process. 10 lbs and 1 inch in each measurement category in 6 months is nothing to brag about.

It occurred to me today because I've had so little progress and that I am now less than 6 month away from my wedding, that I may not get to my goal and that I may hate how my wedding pictures look because of this. I am just so discouraged. We did our engagement pictures in January, and I spent a day crying over them when we got them back. We ended up (of course) only using the pictures that were close up head shots. I eventually consoled myself with the fact that these could be see as my "before weight loss pictures". Now that I am 2 months further in the process and still barely seeing results, I am deathly afraid that I am going to HATE my wedding pictures. I am envisioning our parents so excited and me crying myself to sleep over them. I should note that FI parents are also tiny- his mom and sister share their size 2 wardrobe. I come in at a 10-12.

I'm just so frustrated!

I could have written this post. My fiance is almost a foot taller than me and only about 30 lbs heavier. I look short and round next to his tall and slim self. I've been working out for a couple of months now and I've barely been able to drop 4lbs. We're like those cartoon couples.

As someone else mentioned though, have you seen a doctor? I recently went to a functional medicine doctor and had a bunch of tests done to make sure my inability to lose weight is just because I'm eating the wrong things or not exercising right versus an actual medical condition. I should find out sometime next week.

Regardless, you look great in your dress! But I understand how you feel.

chloe97 · March 2015

I am going in 2 weeks for a physical and will tell her my concerns. I hate going to the doctor and being talked to about my weight (which happens every time I go). It's like they do not believe that I am actually working on it. I've had my thyroid tested before and it's come up fine. The only thing that it could be is PCOS because I do have some symptons, but what I have read is that PCOS makes you hungrier because of insulin resistance, not that you burn fewer calories. If the calories are going in and coming out, I should be losing weight.

KatieinBkln · March 2015

chloe97 said:
I am going in 2 weeks for a physical and will tell her my concerns. I hate going to the doctor and being talked to about my weight (which happens every time I go). It's like they do not believe that I am actually working on it. I've had my thyroid tested before and it's come up fine. The only thing that it could be is PCOS because I do have some symptons, but what I have read is that PCOS makes you hungrier because of insulin resistance, not that you burn fewer calories. If the calories are going in and coming out, I should be losing weight.

You look wonderful! I am not just saying that (no one here is).

Honestly, I am a little shocked to hear that docs have been on you about your weight/that you're at the top of the BMI. Really and truly, in that picture you look like a healthy, athletic person. Remember that having lots of muscle can sometimes bump up a person's BMI, and remember, too, that a doctor who makes you uncomfortable is not a doctor you have to see. There are plenty of docs out there who will help you achieve your goals without shaming you. Find one you can feel comfortable talking to!

Ditto others' recommendations to see a therapist and cut down a little on something else--because really really, your size is not the problem here--even if you were bigger, it would not be the problem, but my point is that your anxiety over this is much, much larger than your belly is. If Crossfit was making you happy and flooding you with endorphins and blah blah blah, I wouldn't encourage you to nix it. But if that's the thing that's preventing you from being happy because you can't fit in therapy? Cut it.

NowIamMrsKlein · March 2015

Hot damn! That dress looks amazing on you!

bethsmiles · March 2015

chloe97 said:
I am going in 2 weeks for a physical and will tell her my concerns. I hate going to the doctor and being talked to about my weight (which happens every time I go). It's like they do not believe that I am actually working on it. I've had my thyroid tested before and it's come up fine. The only thing that it could be is PCOS because I do have some symptons, but what I have read is that PCOS makes you hungrier because of insulin resistance, not that you burn fewer calories. If the calories are going in and coming out, I should be losing weight.

I seriously suggest looking for a new doctor. You should be able to find someone who can talk to you about your weight without it being something you hate and who actually listens to you. Advocating for yourself and your health is so important. Doctors are not gods, they aren't right all the time.

aliwis000 · March 2015

Thank you for posting this. Please do not take that to mean I am glad you feel worried. I just mean to say you are not alone. I am about your size and that is up about 20 pounds or so from when I met my FI. When we met I was the thinnest I had ever been. I was running everyday and being healthy. I will skip over the life long weight issues and how I have constantly gone up and down for the last 15 years.

So needless to say, even though I am probably 30 pounds or so less than the highest I have ever been, I am still the biggest my FI has ever seen me. He has never ever said anything about my weight other than to tell me he loves me no matter my weight if I bring it up. I know it is true, I just cannot help but feel bad. He started dating this pretty kick ass chick, how was he supposed to know he fell for a closet fat girl?

He is naturally a smaller guy, it is just how he was made. His hips are ridiculously thin and if I go up behind him and wrap my arms around him in front of a mirror you can see my hips sticking out farther than his. That is a pretty crappy feeling.

I am doing my best to knock some of the weight off before our September wedding but with engagement photos 2 weeks away I am still worried.

Sorry I went on so long. I think my point was you are not alone and you are going to look beautiful. Part of what is helping me is thinking about the fact that my hair and make up will be professionally done for my photos.

Good luck!

wrigleyville · March 2015

chloe97 said:
I am going in 2 weeks for a physical and will tell her my concerns. I hate going to the doctor and being talked to about my weight (which happens every time I go). It's like they do not believe that I am actually working on it. I've had my thyroid tested before and it's come up fine. The only thing that it could be is PCOS because I do have some symptons, but what I have read is that PCOS makes you hungrier because of insulin resistance, not that you burn fewer calories. If the calories are going in and coming out, I should be losing weight.

This isn't quite correct. I have PCOS, so I can explain it a bit better.

PCOS can cause insulin resistance, which means your body isn't processing carbohydrates and sugar efficiently. Instead of your pancreas/insulin doing its job, the glucose is going straight to your liver and getting processed as fat.

When you eat, your body releases insulin to deal with the glucose. Since the glucose goes to the liver instead, now you have all this insulin floating around. Your body thinks it didn't eat and creates more hunger. You eat more, you release more insulin, cycle repeats.

Women with PCOS have to eat like a diabetic (less glucose = less hunger = less fat from the liver). They don't process carbohydrates for energy as well as most people. It's recommended you eat a certain percentage of carbs per day AND get at least thirty minutes of exercise per day (to help utilize those carbs). My doctor also put me on Metformin.

Even with a low-ish-carb diet, exercise, and medicine, I still struggle to lose/maintain weight. If I lose four pounds in a month, that's a lot. It took me two years to lose sixty pounds. If I don't watch what I eat for a few weeks, I will gain 10-15 pounds back (not just bloat... actual weight... my jeans won't fit), and then it takes me another 3-4 months to drop that weight.

Ask your doctor to do a fasting glucose test (NOT a glucose tolerance test; they are different). You'll go in after fasting all night, have blood drawn, go eat a list of foods they give you, and then go back exactly two hours later for another blood draw. My insulin, after 14 hours of fasting, was higher than a normal person's insulin levels after eating a meal. I cried and cried when my doctor told me that's why I had been struggling with my weight for so many years and that it wasn't completely my fault; I just didn't know how to eat, and I needed medication.

Sorry this is long, but I really wanted to make sure you knew more about it. I was told I had PCOS when I was 19, but nobody treated me for it (correctly) until I was 33, so I'm passionate about making sure women are informed.

Worried I am going to hate my wedding pictures. Vent.

Re: Worried I am going to hate my wedding pictures. Vent.

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