Ceremony and Reception on different days

mikenberger · March 2015

banana468 said:
Am I the only one that would be overwhelmed by this concept?? Let's throw etiquette out the window (clutch your pearls!) for a minute: Do you wear the dress both days? Do you have your hair done for both days? Do you get your makeup done for both days? How about tux rentals? How long would your DH keep the tux? Who wears attire? Do you have a WP? Do they wear their attire two days in a row? What will you wear for your meals you eat on your real wedding day? What if you get white wine on your wedding dress? What if you get crap on your DH's tux shirt? How about the parents? Different outfits for both days? Same for both??

Then the next day, do you get a second photographer for the reception? Do you get a photographer for the wedding day?

Not to mention, what do the guests after the ceremony? Do you walk away and just say, "Dueces! See you tomorrow!"?

Just the thought of it:

And why I said "The thought of it is giving me hives" earlier in the post

KatWAG · March 2015

banana468 said:
Am I the only one that would be overwhelmed by this concept?? Let's throw etiquette out the window (clutch your pearls!) for a minute: Do you wear the dress both days? Do you have your hair done for both days? Do you get your makeup done for both days? How about tux rentals? How long would your DH keep the tux? Who wears attire? Do you have a WP? Do they wear their attire two days in a row? What will you wear for your meals you eat on your real wedding day? What if you get white wine on your wedding dress? What if you get crap on your DH's tux shirt? How about the parents? Different outfits for both days? Same for both??

Then the next day, do you get a second photographer for the reception? Do you get a photographer for the wedding day?

Not to mention, what do the guests after the ceremony? Do you walk away and just say, "Dueces! See you tomorrow!"?

QFP. This sounds a hell of a lot more overwhelming.

OP, why exactly is it overwhelming to have you ceremony and reception on the same day?

MandyMost · March 2015

I picture the ceremony happening, and the bride and groom doing the recessional down the aisle and directly into their cars and driving home to watch TV and heat up some leftovers for dinner. Meanwhile all the guests are like WTF and find a bar/restaurant to go to and party it up and are way too hungover and tired to bother going to a party the next day.

I'm also really interested in the reasoning here. Everyone has to make compromises to find a wedding and reception that works for them. And also, it's important to realize that a wedding reception is not the only party you're ever allowed to throw. If you want to have a big party at any time, go ahead and have it, but don't try to make it a wedding reception unless it is immediately following a wedding ceremony.

lyndausvi · March 2015

Am I the only one that would be overwhelmed by this concept?? Let's throw etiquette out the window (clutch your pearls!) for a minute: Do you wear the dress both days? Do you have your hair done for both days? Do you get your makeup done for both days? How about tux rentals? How long would your DH keep the tux? Who wears attire? Do you have a WP? Do they wear their attire two days in a row? What will you wear for your meals you eat on your real wedding day? What if you get white wine on your wedding dress? What if you get crap on your DH's tux shirt? How about the parents? Different outfits for both days? Same for both??

Then the next day, do you get a second photographer for the reception? Do you get a photographer for the wedding day?

Not to mention, what do the guests after the ceremony? Do you walk away and just say, "Dueces! See you tomorrow!"?

Your logic has no place here !!!

I totally think of having events on 2 different days is far less stressful. Clearly. I mean, a 20-60 min ceremony is soooooo overwhelming.

One has to wonder if having a ceremony and receptions on the same day is that overwhelming how does one get through normal life? I've been threw a lot of overwhelming situations in my life. My wedding day was not one of them. I even had a hurricane with collapsing tents the morning of the wedding. Still not overwhelming.

mikenberger · March 2015

lyndausvi said:
Am I the only one that would be overwhelmed by this concept?? Let's throw etiquette out the window (clutch your pearls!) for a minute: Do you wear the dress both days? Do you have your hair done for both days? Do you get your makeup done for both days? How about tux rentals? How long would your DH keep the tux? Who wears attire? Do you have a WP? Do they wear their attire two days in a row? What will you wear for your meals you eat on your real wedding day? What if you get white wine on your wedding dress? What if you get crap on your DH's tux shirt? How about the parents? Different outfits for both days? Same for both??

Then the next day, do you get a second photographer for the reception? Do you get a photographer for the wedding day?

Not to mention, what do the guests after the ceremony? Do you walk away and just say, "Dueces! See you tomorrow!"?

Your logic has no place here !!!

I totally think of having events on 2 different days is far less stressful. Clearly. I mean, a 20-60 min ceremony is soooooo overwhelming.

One has to wonder if having a ceremony and receptions on the same day is that overwhelming how does one get through normal life? I've been threw a lot of overwhelming situations in my life. My wedding day was not one of them. I even had a hurricane with collapsing tents the morning of the wedding. Still not overwhelming.

Well it's obvious that you're a superhero. Or a mutant. Or both.

madamerwin · March 2015

We were originally going to have the ceremony and reception on the same day at the same place, but while thinking about it, it didn't seem like as much fun for us and seemed very overwhelming.

I'm confused as to why you think splitting it up over two days will make it any less overwhelming (or any more fun, for that matter)... You're still having a ceremony and reception, you still have to plan both ahead of time. If you are easily overwhelmed, you will just be overwhelmed for two days instead of one.

As a guest, I would most definitely decline the ceremony at least, probably the whole thing on principle.

And to echo PPs, once you invite guests, it's no longer just about you.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2015

lyndausvi said:
Am I the only one that would be overwhelmed by this concept?? Let's throw etiquette out the window (clutch your pearls!) for a minute: Do you wear the dress both days? Do you have your hair done for both days? Do you get your makeup done for both days? How about tux rentals? How long would your DH keep the tux? Who wears attire? Do you have a WP? Do they wear their attire two days in a row? What will you wear for your meals you eat on your real wedding day? What if you get white wine on your wedding dress? What if you get crap on your DH's tux shirt? How about the parents? Different outfits for both days? Same for both??

Then the next day, do you get a second photographer for the reception? Do you get a photographer for the wedding day?

Not to mention, what do the guests after the ceremony? Do you walk away and just say, "Dueces! See you tomorrow!"?

Your logic has no place here !!!

I totally think of having events on 2 different days is far less stressful. Clearly. I mean, a 20-60 min ceremony is soooooo overwhelming.

One has to wonder if having a ceremony and receptions on the same day is that overwhelming how does one get through normal life? I've been threw a lot of overwhelming situations in my life. My wedding day was not one of them. I even had a hurricane with collapsing tents the morning of the wedding. Still not overwhelming.

Yeah, but you are like a superhero.

Pretty sure most lesser brides would have absolutely lost their shit over the fact that a hurricane was ruining their Most Beautiful, Perfect, Special Day

Jells2dot0 · March 2015

Silly me for thinking that just marrying the person I love was the most enjoyable and fun moment in my life!

ETA- for clarity

redoryx · March 2015

YOU GUYS. STOP BEING SO MEAN AND BASHING THE OP'S PLAN. WE DON'T WANT TO OVERWHELM HER.

dcbride86 · March 2015

lyndausvi said:
Am I the only one that would be overwhelmed by this concept?? Let's throw etiquette out the window (clutch your pearls!) for a minute: Do you wear the dress both days? Do you have your hair done for both days? Do you get your makeup done for both days? How about tux rentals? How long would your DH keep the tux? Who wears attire? Do you have a WP? Do they wear their attire two days in a row? What will you wear for your meals you eat on your real wedding day? What if you get white wine on your wedding dress? What if you get crap on your DH's tux shirt? How about the parents? Different outfits for both days? Same for both??

Then the next day, do you get a second photographer for the reception? Do you get a photographer for the wedding day?

Not to mention, what do the guests after the ceremony? Do you walk away and just say, "Dueces! See you tomorrow!"?

Your logic has no place here !!!

I totally think of having events on 2 different days is far less stressful. Clearly. I mean, a 20-60 min ceremony is soooooo overwhelming.

One has to wonder if having a ceremony and receptions on the same day is that overwhelming how does one get through normal life? I've been threw a lot of overwhelming situations in my life. My wedding day was not one of them. I even had a hurricane with collapsing tents the morning of the wedding. Still not overwhelming.

Shut up. How were you NOT overwhelmed by that? I think OP is ridiculous for thinking a ceremony + reception is that overwhelming, but you are legit superwoman.

lyndausvi · March 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

lyndausvi said:

Yeah, but you are like a superhero.

Pretty sure most lesser brides would have absolutely lost their shit over the fact that a hurricane was ruining their Most Beautiful, Perfect, Special Day

Not a super hero. Just knows you can't control everything. Weather is not one of those things. It's silly to get all your panties in a wad over something you or anyone else for that matter, can't control.

I'm very much a go with the flow type person. Shit happens. I do not see the point in wasting energy on that kind of stuff. I made sure I had a good backup plan long before and the day went on.

Story time - I was working on a boat in St John. This cute couple just got married in this cute church. The reception was taking their 40-something guests to a sunset sail to another island for dinner and then sail back under the stars.

We just set sail and turn the corner towards Jost Van Dyke when we saw the wall. A wall of torrential rain. A few minutes later we could not even see the bow of the boat (boat was 50 feet long). Everyone was wet. The bride looked like she walked in front of a fire hydrate.

Due to the conditions we turned the boat around. They decided to just make the trip the next day . Most of the guests were still around. They decided to hit up a local bar instead and invite us to met them.

We took the boat back to the mooring and met them. The bar owners took such good care of them. They were eating, laughing, dancing. They had an amazing "reception" with their guests and some random people who were at the bar.

The next day we took them to the original place.

I always said I would be that bride (well couple). The couple that can go with the flow.. The ones who can find joy and happiness in a not so ideal situation. She/they could have cried. But they didn't. They had fun. In turn the other guests had fun.

When I found out the storm was coming I did shed a small tear. It was 4 days out when I realized Then I went to who gives a shit mode. If we are happy, our guests will be happen. We were and they were.

Both us and they couple of above have one hell of a story to tell. 6 years later our guests still talk about how the best wedding they went to was in a hurricane.

Am I disappointed I didn't get my beach wedding? Yes. Do I think my wedding was ruined by the storm? Hell no.

yogadevil · March 2015

I can empathize a little, I was too overwhelmed to plan a huge shindig with 150 guests, so FI and I took our budget and were able to go all out for our ceremony and intimate reception for ourselves and 15 guests. Problem solved.

I think logistically trying to have this 24 gap is going to be more stressful in the long run, and you may get a heck of lot more declines for your event. Plan something you're comfortable with while hosting your guests properly, it doesn't have to be overwhelming unless you make it so.

If people think even a 3 hour gap is rude, imagine what they'll say for a 24 hour gap.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

I don't understand this at all. Maybe I'm missing something but if it's too overwhelming to have a wedding ceremony and a reception on the same day, ELOPE.

SP29 · March 2015

Yes- rude and inconsiderate.

You will require your guests an extra day of travel, extra hotel night, having to get dressed up twice, potentially find a babysitter for two days in a row, plus take up their whole weekend. That is not appropriate.

I agree with banana- I think two days would be MORE stressful and expensive. Paying twice for hair and make up, photographer for 2 days, your bridal party, tux rental... eek!!

Besides, the reception is the thank you to your guests. EVEN IF you did this, you would still need some sort of reception (like cake and punch) after the ceremony, AND the reception the next day would not be your wedding reception. No "first" traditions.

If you are too overwhelmed by the ceremony and reception you're thinking of, then you need to simplify it. The only thing that matters is that you and FI show up for the ceremony with the officiant and witnesses. Then you host your guests at the reception. No one really cares about flowers, centerpieces, decor, etc. so as long as everyone has a seat and your guests get fed and don't have to open their wallets, they'll be happy.

If you could explain what is stressing you out, you might find your get more help than posters telling you "no, that's rude". But as you haven't explained much of anything, there isn't anything posters can help with (before someone says, "you guys are being so mean!").

LD1970 · March 2015

lyndausvi said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lyndausvi said:

Yeah, but you are like a superhero.

Pretty sure most lesser brides would have absolutely lost their shit over the fact that a hurricane was ruining their Most Beautiful, Perfect, Special Day

Not a super hero. Just knows you can't control everything. Weather is not one of those things. It's silly to get all your panties in a wad over something you or anyone else for that matter, can't control.

I'm very much a go with the flow type person. Shit happens. I do not see the point in wasting energy on that kind of stuff. I made sure I had a good backup plan long before and the day went on.

Story time - I was working on a boat in St John. This cute couple just got married in this cute church. The reception was taking their 40-something guests to a sunset sail to another island for dinner and then sail back under the stars.

We just set sail and turn the corner towards Jost Van Dyke when we saw the wall. A wall of torrential rain. A few minutes later we could not even see the bow of the boat (boat was 50 feet long). Everyone was wet. The bride looked like she walked in front of a fire hydrate.

Due to the conditions we turned the boat around. They decided to just make the trip the next day . Most of the guests were still around. They decided to hit up a local bar instead and invite us to met them.

We took the boat back to the mooring and met them. The bar owners took such good care of them. They were eating, laughing, dancing. They had an amazing "reception" with their guests and some random people who were at the bar.

The next day we took them to the original place.

I always said I would be that bride (well couple). The couple that can go with the flow.. The ones who can find joy and happiness in a not so ideal situation. She/they could have cried. But they didn't. They had fun. In turn the other guests had fun.

When I found out the storm was coming I did shed a small tear. It was 4 days out when I realized Then I went to who gives a shit mode. If we are happy, our guests will be happen. We were and they were.

Both us and they couple of above have one hell of a story to tell. 6 years later our guests still talk about how the best wedding they went to was in a hurricane.

Am I disappointed I didn't get my beach wedding? Yes. Do I think my wedding was ruined by the storm? Hell no.

I don't care what you say, I'm with the superhero school of thought.

I didn't freak out when one bridesmaid's dress hadn't been shipped to her 2 weeks before the wedding, because she said she was taking care of it.

I didn't freak out when another bridesmaid's dress didn't fit anymore a week before the wedding, and suggested ways to troubleshoot (which worked).

I didn't freak out when some of the flowers I wanted in my bouquets & arrangements wouldn't be available and we had to change them 3x - including a week before the wedding.

I didn't freak out when H & I realized we wouldn't have the money to buy favors or the killer bunny slippers I wanted.

I didn't freak out when my mom called me from the venue on the morning of my 11:30 a.m. wedding to tell me that the venue was trying to force my florist to set up the chuppah outdoors in 55 degree weather, when they had express instructions that if the temp was below 65, the wedding was to be indoors (though I did tell the venue in no uncertain terms that they'd better get the indoor room ready & let the florist in because I was not going to make my guests be cold).

I didn't freak out that it *was* 55 degrees and I couldn't have the outdoor wedding I'd hoped for.

I didn't freak out when my incredibly rude friends showed up with their uninvited and un-RSVPed-for kid to my child-free wedding.

I didn't freak out when the DJ accidentally played the wrong version of my recessional song (thereby including the lyrics "life's a piece of shit, when you look at it." Whoops.

But a hurricane? Yeah, a hurricane would have freaked me out.

Cookie Pusher · March 2015

LD1970 said:

lyndausvi said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lyndausvi said:

Yeah, but you are like a superhero.

Pretty sure most lesser brides would have absolutely lost their shit over the fact that a hurricane was ruining their Most Beautiful, Perfect, Special Day
Not a super hero. Just knows you can't control everything. Weather is not one of those things. It's silly to get all your panties in a wad over something you or anyone else for that matter, can't control.

I'm very much a go with the flow type person. Shit happens. I do not see the point in wasting energy on that kind of stuff. I made sure I had a good backup plan long before and the day went on.

Story time - I was working on a boat in St John. This cute couple just got married in this cute church. The reception was taking their 40-something guests to a sunset sail to another island for dinner and then sail back under the stars.

We just set sail and turn the corner towards Jost Van Dyke when we saw the wall. A wall of torrential rain. A few minutes later we could not even see the bow of the boat (boat was 50 feet long). Everyone was wet. The bride looked like she walked in front of a fire hydrate.

Due to the conditions we turned the boat around. They decided to just make the trip the next day . Most of the guests were still around. They decided to hit up a local bar instead and invite us to met them.

We took the boat back to the mooring and met them. The bar owners took such good care of them. They were eating, laughing, dancing. They had an amazing "reception" with their guests and some random people who were at the bar.

The next day we took them to the original place.

I always said I would be that bride (well couple). The couple that can go with the flow.. The ones who can find joy and happiness in a not so ideal situation. She/they could have cried. But they didn't. They had fun. In turn the other guests had fun.

When I found out the storm was coming I did shed a small tear. It was 4 days out when I realized Then I went to who gives a shit mode. If we are happy, our guests will be happen. We were and they were.

Both us and they couple of above have one hell of a story to tell. 6 years later our guests still talk about how the best wedding they went to was in a hurricane.

Am I disappointed I didn't get my beach wedding? Yes. Do I think my wedding was ruined by the storm? Hell no.