A few people have said to me now that when the invitations are made up, the start time for the ceremony should be half an hour before the time the ceremony is really starting to prevent people from being late.
While there are some guests I'm concerned will arrive late (which would be somewhat disruptive), I feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of putting a fake start time on the invitations. I think it shows a lack of trust in all of our guests and would also leave a lot of people waiting around before our ceremony a lot longer than necessary.
I guess what I want to know is - is this a normal and/or proper thing to do? If it isn't, and I put the actual start time on the invitation, is there anything that can be done to discourage people from arriving late?
Re: Time on invitation vs. actual start time
I abhor lateness. If other people want to be rude and waste other peoples' time, that's on them - but I am punctual. Our invitations said 7pm, and our asses were at the top of the aisle to start the processional at 7pm. I had a couple people run into the church just as Dad and I were about to start, but that was it.
The worst wedding I've ever been to was an outdoor, backyard thing. We sat and waited (thankfully on benches) for 45 minutes before the bride and groom even showed up IN STREET CLOTHES. They waved and strolled into the house to get dressed. Apparently they were working on their bathroom reno and lost track of time.
Thirteen years later and I still can't even.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Then at the end of the ceremony the officiant announced that they had been legally married a couple of months ago. This is the same wedding that was out of town for all of the family members yet was a potluck (so both rude and inconvenient), and also requested gifts in the form of cash on the invitation. My family is not so big on etiquette and didn't have a problem with any of this. *sigh* (On the other hand, I let my immediate family know why the etiquette blunders were in fact etiquette blunders and they mocked me for it at the time, but now that my nephew is getting married my sister has called me a couple of times to ask etiquette questions about the wedding. And I introduced nephew to Miss Manners Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding and he liked her dry humor and asked to read more. So there is hope!)