Destination Weddings Discussions

Symbolic ceremony due to marriage requirements n mexico

Has anyone gotten married before going to Mexico to make things flow easier... Elope n us but then have symbolic ceremony in Mexico? Which would you celebrate as far as an anniversary... The elopement in the US of the symbolic ceremony
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Re: Symbolic ceremony due to marriage requirements n mexico

  • We are getting married at the courthouse before our destination wedding in Mexico and doing a symbolic ceremony at the resort. Our actual wedding ceremony in Mexico will be our anniversary date. We are doing this because we do NOT want needles put into us in a foreign country. If someone gets upset that they didn't get to see you sign the marriage certificate, then that is absurd. It's supposed to be a celebration, so just celebrate and have fun!! :)
  • This is what is known as a "PPD" aka. Pretty Princess Day. 

    There is a thread about it on the Etiquette board that I highly recommend. 

    So to answer your question, OP, your anniversary is the day you get married. Which is the day you sign the marriage license and actually get married. You wouldn't celebrate an anniversary of a wedding re-enactment. You shouldn't do a wedding re-enactment at all. Vow renewal, sure. Wedding re-enactment, no. 
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  • I would hope the people that are going to be at your destination weding want to be there even if it is a symbol wedding. Destination weddings are ment to be celebrated with your closest family and friends, if they have an issue celebrating a symbolic ceremony maybe they shouldn't be invited at all. It's your wedding enjoy it. I'm planning my destination wedding right now and I've found through the process that the people who really want to be there will be there. If they are complaining about a symbolic ceremony, the are probably just trying to find an excuse not to go. Good luck to all the destination wedding brides, stay focused on what's important :)



















  • We are having a destination wedding In DR. Being that the judge would not be available on our wedding day(May 30,2015) We decided to get married at the JOP and have a symbolic ceremony. In my opinion what difference  does it make if your destination wedding ceremony is a legal one or symbolic to your guest?  They are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. I don't think any of your guest will regret attending because you did not disclose to them that you were married prior to that date. Most guest use this opportunity to vacation as well, they have made the decision to attend you did not force anyone, so to disclose your martial status to you guest is silly........lol 

  • edited February 2015

    We are having a destination wedding In DR. Being that the judge would not be available on our wedding day(May 30,2015) We decided to get married at the JOP and have a symbolic ceremony. In my opinion what difference  does it make if your destination wedding ceremony is a legal one or symbolic to your guest?  They are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. I don't think any of your guest will regret attending because you did not disclose to them that you were married prior to that date. Most guest use this opportunity to vacation as well, they have made the decision to attend you did not force anyone, so to disclose your martial status to you guest is silly........lol 

    It is not silly. Once you invite guests to partake in your wedding, it's no longer just about you. 

    There are lots of similar threads on these boards, but I remember this one vividly:


    You're correct in that the guests made the decision to attend, but they made that decision without knowing all of the pertinent facts. You withheld VERY important information- that the event they are attending is not your wedding. It's true that some people, or all people, may still attend. But, you can't possibly know if that is true. Again, people work hard to earn their money and their vacation time. Maybe they gave up another vacation because they thought it was important to see you get married. What happens when they find out you are already married? Things have a way to come back and bite you, even if you do keep it from them. However, how horrible is it to keep secrets from the people you supposedly love enough to invite to your wedding???

     







  • We are having a destination wedding In DR. Being that the judge would not be available on our wedding day(May 30,2015) We decided to get married at the JOP and have a symbolic ceremony. In my opinion what difference  does it make if your destination wedding ceremony is a legal one or symbolic to your guest?  They are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. I don't think any of your guest will regret attending because you did not disclose to them that you were married prior to that date. Most guest use this opportunity to vacation as well, they have made the decision to attend you did not force anyone, so to disclose your martial status to you guest is silly........lol 

    I will tell you that I had a friend that got married in her living room, without telling anyone but her mom and sisters. A year later they had their "wedding". I found out because someone else found out and was talking bad about her. I will tell you, while I attended the PPD I was not happy that this person lied to me for a year! Just because your lie will only be a day or two does not make it less hurtful to be lied to by people who you are suppose to be this close to. If this PPD had been a destination wedding, there is no way I would have spent my very limited funds at the time and very limited travel days to attend. I have better things to do with both of those items than witness her fake a wedding for show to cover up her lie. 
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  • We are having a destination wedding In DR. Being that the judge would not be available on our wedding day(May 30,2015) We decided to get married at the JOP and have a symbolic ceremony. In my opinion what difference  does it make if your destination wedding ceremony is a legal one or symbolic to your guest?  They are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. I don't think any of your guest will regret attending because you did not disclose to them that you were married prior to that date. Most guest use this opportunity to vacation as well, they have made the decision to attend you did not force anyone, so to disclose your martial status to you guest is silly........lol 

    I've already explained above why I would regret it.  I will make things work to attend a wedding, even if it costs me more money.  To see a symbolic wedding, nope, not as important to me.  If I can make it, cool, but not when it's costing me so much in terms of vacation time and supply teacher pay.  

    You might not mind it but others will.  

  • I've made the decision to have a legal wedding in the US and the symbolic destination wedding.  I think some people on here like to push their agendas as the only way to do things.  I've polled many of my guests regarding the symbolic wedding.  They couldn't be happier for us, regardless of the symbolic nature of the ceremony.  In fact, I believe it is pretty common for US residents to do the symbolic ceremony.  I recently spent a week at the resort I'm getting married at and observed 12 weddings in that time.  Only one was a legal wedding, if that gives you any idea of the acceptance of it (outside of this board, of course).  And I will celebrate our anniversary on our symbolic ceremony day.  What difference does it make?
  • curiouskg said:

    I've made the decision to have a legal wedding in the US and the symbolic destination wedding.  I think some people on here like to push their agendas as the only way to do things.  I've polled many of my guests regarding the symbolic wedding.  They couldn't be happier for us, regardless of the symbolic nature of the ceremony.  In fact, I believe it is pretty common for US residents to do the symbolic ceremony.  I recently spent a week at the resort I'm getting married at and observed 12 weddings in that time.  Only one was a legal wedding, if that gives you any idea of the acceptance of it (outside of this board, of course).  And I will celebrate our anniversary on our symbolic ceremony day.  What difference does it make?

    Yes, there are a lot of spoiled and entitled brides wives in the US who think that marriage is only secondary to wearing a white, poufy dress and getting attention.

    The difference is that you're play acting, but calling yourself an adult. The point of a wedding is to begin the day as a bride, and end the day as a wife. It's not fucking rocket science.




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  • curiouskg said:

    I've made the decision to have a legal wedding in the US and the symbolic destination wedding.  I think some people on here like to push their agendas as the only way to do things.  I've polled many of my guests regarding the symbolic wedding.  They couldn't be happier for us, regardless of the symbolic nature of the ceremony.  In fact, I believe it is pretty common for US residents to do the symbolic ceremony.  I recently spent a week at the resort I'm getting married at and observed 12 weddings in that time.  Only one was a legal wedding, if that gives you any idea of the acceptance of it (outside of this board, of course).  And I will celebrate our anniversary on our symbolic ceremony day.  What difference does it make?

    First bolded- odd and awkward conversation, but thankfully, you told your guests. Most people do not. 

    Second bolded- there is no way for you to know that out of those 12 weddings, all of the ceremonies were similar to yours, where the couple told the guests the truth about their ceremony. I bet 95% of those symbolic ceremonies had guests who didn't know about the legal wedding prior to the symbolic event. So, yeah, the guests were accepting because they thought they were witnessing the couple getting legally married. You'll see people give blunt advide about symbolic ceremonies on here, but it's only because it's rude to the guests who don't know the truth and the couple pretends the legal ceremony never happened. 

     







  • curiouskg said:

    I've made the decision to have a legal wedding in the US and the symbolic destination wedding.  I think some people on here like to push their agendas as the only way to do things.  I've polled many of my guests regarding the symbolic wedding.  They couldn't be happier for us, regardless of the symbolic nature of the ceremony.  In fact, I believe it is pretty common for US residents to do the symbolic ceremony.  I recently spent a week at the resort I'm getting married at and observed 12 weddings in that time.  Only one was a legal wedding, if that gives you any idea of the acceptance of it (outside of this board, of course).  And I will celebrate our anniversary on our symbolic ceremony day.  What difference does it make?

    Oh, and third bolded- that's your choice, but it's not correct. Your anniversary is the day you got married. You can only have one wedding and that is when you legally married. People get flack over this on here because couples don't place any significance on the legal aspect of the wedding, which is what is the most important part.

     







  • curiouskg said:

    I've made the decision to have a legal wedding in the US and the symbolic destination wedding.  I think some people on here like to push their agendas as the only way to do things.  I've polled many of my guests regarding the symbolic wedding.  They couldn't be happier for us, regardless of the symbolic nature of the ceremony.  In fact, I believe it is pretty common for US residents to do the symbolic ceremony.  I recently spent a week at the resort I'm getting married at and observed 12 weddings in that time.  Only one was a legal wedding, if that gives you any idea of the acceptance of it (outside of this board, of course).  And I will celebrate our anniversary on our symbolic ceremony day.  What difference does it make?



    The wedding industry will push it, yea, because they care more about the party than the actual marriage.  I'm having a destination wedding, my planner told me we had to get married in the states prior to coming to Aruba for the blessing ceremony. I thought that was weird, came to The Knot, asked about it, and found out that it was totally bogus, and not required of us to do.  Went back to my planner, told her we wanted to get legally married in Aruba, and she told me all of the requirements to do so.  Simple, easy, and now, not weird.

    I also highly doubt that you knew whether or not every ceremony you witnessed was a symbolic ceremony or the true ceremony.

    Then again, if you polled every single one of your guests, I guess I could see you coming up to the wedding couple and asking them if it was a symbolic ceremony or not.

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  • curiouskg said:

    I've made the decision to have a legal wedding in the US and the symbolic destination wedding.  I think some people on here like to push their agendas as the only way to do things.  I've polled many of my guests regarding the symbolic wedding.  They couldn't be happier for us, regardless of the symbolic nature of the ceremony.  In fact, I believe it is pretty common for US residents to do the symbolic ceremony.  I recently spent a week at the resort I'm getting married at and observed 12 weddings in that time.  Only one was a legal wedding, if that gives you any idea of the acceptance of it (outside of this board, of course).  And I will celebrate our anniversary on our symbolic ceremony day.  What difference does it make?

    Oh really? You found out the legal nature of every single one of the 12 weddings that took place at a resort while you were on vacation? Bullshit. What a ridiculous thing to lie about.

    Here's the difference it makes: people are spending thousands of dollars to see you get married. Not to watch you play "dress up like a B&G and pretend to get married".

    I went to a wedding in Jamaica this year. If they got married in the US, I would be happy for them, but I wouldn't have spend several thousand to travel to Jamaica to watch a symbolic ceremony. I'd wish them well from afar.

    If I found it later that they lied to us and that they were actually married beforehand, I'd probably end the friendship. What kind of friend misleads you into spending a bunch of money so you can watch a fake major life milestone? The worst kind....
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  • Apparently asking the wedding coordinator at the resort if the weddings were symbolic or legal is beyond comprehension to some of you, which is what I did.  I wanted to get the feel for what is typically done.  Believe what you want, push your agendas all you want.  We are doing what is right for us and that's all that matters.  And if my friends were so morally outraged about our decision to have a symbolic marriage in Mexico, then they are entitled to their opinions and it's within their right not to come.  However, my friends are not as judgmental as the people on this board, thank God for that!
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    curiouskg said:

    Apparently asking the wedding coordinator at the resort if the weddings were symbolic or legal is beyond comprehension to some of you, which is what I did.  I wanted to get the feel for what is typically done.  Believe what you want, push your agendas all you want.  We are doing what is right for us and that's all that matters.  And if my friends were so morally outraged about our decision to have a symbolic marriage in Mexico, then they are entitled to their opinions and it's within their right not to come.  However, my friends are not as judgmental as the people on this board, thank God for that!



    Because I'm sure your friends would tell you to your face that they don't agree with what you're doing on your wedding day.

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  • curiouskg said:

    Apparently asking the wedding coordinator at the resort if the weddings were symbolic or legal is beyond comprehension to some of you, which is what I did.  I wanted to get the feel for what is typically done.  Believe what you want, push your agendas all you want.  We are doing what is right for us and that's all that matters.  And if my friends were so morally outraged about our decision to have a symbolic marriage in Mexico, then they are entitled to their opinions and it's within their right not to come.  However, my friends are not as judgmental as the people on this board, thank God for that!

    So I'm gathering that you've told every single one of your guests that you were married/getting married in the US and that your "wedding" in Mexico is a symbolic ceremony? And your invitations are worded in a way that informs people they're witnessing a re-do ceremony by a husband and a wife?

    If you are, good for you! At least there's no lying or misleading going on. If you're not, how do you expect people to make an informed decision about this?
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  • We are having a destination wedding In DR. Being that the judge would not be available on our wedding day(May 30,2015) We decided to get married at the JOP and have a symbolic ceremony. In my opinion what difference  does it make if your destination wedding ceremony is a legal one or symbolic to your guest?  They are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. I don't think any of your guest will regret attending because you did not disclose to them that you were married prior to that date. Most guest use this opportunity to vacation as well, they have made the decision to attend you did not force anyone, so to disclose your martial status to you guest is silly........lol 


    Are you for real? These people are coming to SEE YOU GET MARRIED so you don't think it might be important to tell them you're actually ALREADY married?

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  • We are having a destination wedding In DR. Being that the judge would not be available on our wedding day(May 30,2015) We decided to get married at the JOP and have a symbolic ceremony. In my opinion what difference  does it make if your destination wedding ceremony is a legal one or symbolic to your guest?  They are there to celebrate the union of two people who love each other. I don't think any of your guest will regret attending because you did not disclose to them that you were married prior to that date. Most guest use this opportunity to vacation as well, they have made the decision to attend you did not force anyone, so to disclose your martial status to you guest is silly........lol 


    Don't you also see how silly it is to already be married, and then have a reenactment?  To me, getting married and then having a reenactment is pretty pointless.
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  • And a wedding night is supposed to be the first time a man and a woman consummate their relationship.  Did you tell all of your guests that you did the deed prior to your wedding?  
  • curiouskg said:

    And a wedding night is supposed to be the first time a man and a woman consummate their relationship.  Did you tell all of your guests that you did the deed prior to your wedding?  

    I'll take that as a no - that you did not tell your guests that you're married/planning to get married and that the "symbolic ceremony" in Mexico is a fake re-do. So yes, you'd be lying to your guests by omission and leading people to believe they're witnessing an actual wedding. And no, they would not be able to make an informed decision about attending.


    Also.... what on God's green earth are you even talking about with the nonsense above? Maybe for your religion that's true. But that's not the case for everyone. So no, that comparison is totally non-applicable.

    How are you missing the point by so much? Struggles with logic? Refusal to admit to yourself that you're lying to your guests? Wanting to wear a pretty white dress and pretend to be a bride? Look:

    At a wedding, marital status goes from "bride and groom" to "husband and wife". That's what people come to witness because it's a huge life milestone. In your case, it'll go from "husband and wife" to "husband and wife". Whoop-dee-do... Why would anyone care about that?

    THIS.
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