Registering and Gifts

Honey Fund and Macys...thoughts?

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Re: Honey Fund and Macys...thoughts?

  • To anyone who is opposed to the alternative registry this fact won't matter...the 7% off the top doesn't appear to be the case.  It looks like there are several options on the site and one of them does require a fee from the bride and groom, but allows guests to contribute funds without any penalty.  The downside for the bride and groom is there is a fee.


    Of course, asking for a gift is crazy rude - that's a given.  I am still on unsure about the honey fund...so for now I am exploring all the options.   I can actually see where a lot of you are coming from, I may not be jumping on the bash wagon, but trust me I can see why this can seem tacky.  I would actually be confused by a couple who didn't register.  It's guide to your taste and needs.  I would aways bring or give a gift, that's just me, and I really appreciate registries.  
    ....? But that's still a fee. That's the point people are trying to make. Someone somewhere will have to pay a fee and if anything, the fact that it's the couple getting married who are paying is what makes the notion of a honeyfund so ridiculous because a guest can either give you a check for $100 or they can donate $100 through the HF but the couple only gets $93. 
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    adk19lyndausvi
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod

    To anyone who is opposed to the alternative registry this fact won't matter...the 7% off the top doesn't appear to be the case.  It looks like there are several options on the site and one of them does require a fee from the bride and groom, but allows guests to contribute funds without any penalty.  The downside for the bride and groom is there is a fee.


    Of course, asking for a gift is crazy rude - that's a given.  I am still on unsure about the honey fund...so for now I am exploring all the options.   I can actually see where a lot of you are coming from, I may not be jumping on the bash wagon, but trust me I can see why this can seem tacky.  I would actually be confused by a couple who didn't register.  It's guide to your taste and needs.  I would aways bring or give a gift, that's just me, and I really appreciate registries.  
    Awe. That is so cute you think a website is willing to take a credit card for you (cc companies charge merchants a percentage to process the card) hold your money, then cut you a check for free. It's not like don't have servers and staff to pay or anything either.


    Yeah no doesn't work that way. They either get the money from you or your guests.

    I agree they might not be all as high as 7 percent. Some are even higher, some lower. . HF was on Shark Tank giving their business plan. Google it. GoFundme charges a money too.

    They all make interest off they money sitting in the account before they cut a check to you.










    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • awindowlarkawindowlark
    10 Comments
    member
    edited March 2015
    Well, I assure you I am not being cute with matters of money.  You think Macy's isn't making out big with our registry too?  Just sayin.  It's interesting that it was on Shark Tank. In the end, I have to wonder why I asked this question to the group anyway.  If I had to ask, then I should have known.  I have decided to go for Macy's and Amazon.  Some one mentioned amazon and that's a great idea.  We can register for items that we ca't find at Macy's.  The HF plus another registry makes me slightly uneasy and I should listen to that intuition.  I am not against the HF though, truly, if a bride and groom goes for it I wouldn't be disgusted at all.  I do think HF or traditional registry, but not a combo of both.    
    madamerwin
  • Well, I assure you I am not being cute with matters of money.  You think Macy's isn't making out big with our registry too?  Just sayin.  It's interesting that it was on Shark Tank. In the end, I have to wonder why I asked this question to the group anyway.  If I had to ask, then I should have known.  I have decided to go for Macy's and Amazon.  Some one mentioned amazon and that's a great idea.  We can register for items that we ca't find at Macy's.  The HF plus another registry makes me slightly uneasy and I should listen to that intuition.  I am not against the HF though, truly, if a bride and groom goes for it I wouldn't be disgusted at all.  I do think HF or traditional registry, but not a combo of both.    

    Macy's isn't charging your guests an extra free for the privilege of purchasing a gift for you. How are you not getting the difference? This is not that difficult a concept.

    Putting cash/check in a card = couple gets all the money.

    Sending money to HF = HF gets some of it.

    IT MAKES NO SENSE TO DO THAT WHEN PEOPLE CAN GIVE YOU MONEY FOR FREE.

    Most HF type websites are also deceptive, in that they make your guests think they are buying an experience/dinner/whatever when in reality you just get a check that you could spend on any damn thing. Less fees. Which, again, is stupid to waste your/their money on.
    image
    chibiyuiredoryxlevioosaesstee33
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member

    Well, I assure you I am not being cute with matters of money.  You think Macy's isn't making out big with our registry too?  Just sayin.  It's interesting that it was on Shark Tank. In the end, I have to wonder why I asked this question to the group anyway.  If I had to ask, then I should have known.  I have decided to go for Macy's and Amazon.  Some one mentioned amazon and that's a great idea.  We can register for items that we ca't find at Macy's.  The HF plus another registry makes me slightly uneasy and I should listen to that intuition.  I am not against the HF though, truly, if a bride and groom goes for it I wouldn't be disgusted at all.  I do think HF or traditional registry, but not a combo of both.    

    Macy's isn't charging your guests an extra free for the privilege of purchasing a gift for you. How are you not getting the difference? This is not that difficult a concept.

    Putting cash/check in a card = couple gets all the money.

    Sending money to HF = HF gets some of it.

    IT MAKES NO SENSE TO DO THAT WHEN PEOPLE CAN GIVE YOU MONEY FOR FREE.

    Most HF type websites are also deceptive, in that they make your guests think they are buying an experience/dinner/whatever when in reality you just get a check that you could spend on any damn thing. Less fees. Which, again, is stupid to waste your/their money on.
    image

    image
    thespeshulestsnowflakeesstee33
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member

    Macy's registry sounds nice.


    Skip the Honeyfund. Even if your family doesn't think it's tacky, it doesn't make any sense to give you money through a third party. 

    Honeyfund skims money off the top of your cash gifts. So if a family member wants to give you $100, they can 1) write you a check or give you cash and you get $100; OR 2) give $100 to Honeyfund - HF keeps 7% and you get the leftovers. 

    I have to believe that people who think this is a good idea don't really understand the fees.



    "Practical"

    I honestly believe that the people who say "I know about the fees and I think it's a great idea anyway" are just looking for a way to say "We expect you to give us cash." That's why they cling.

    Anniversary

    southernbelle0915madamerwin
  • Well, I assure you I am not being cute with matters of money.  You think Macy's isn't making out big with our registry too?  Just sayin.  It's interesting that it was on Shark Tank. In the end, I have to wonder why I asked this question to the group anyway.  If I had to ask, then I should have known.  I have decided to go for Macy's and Amazon.  Some one mentioned amazon and that's a great idea.  We can register for items that we ca't find at Macy's.  The HF plus another registry makes me slightly uneasy and I should listen to that intuition.  I am not against the HF though, truly, if a bride and groom goes for it I wouldn't be disgusted at all.  I do think HF or traditional registry, but not a combo of both.    

    This is what I am doing too! Macy's for all the towels/linens/dinnerware, Amazon for all the fun stuff (like crab rings and a tent). I think we registered for about 60 items altogether, mostly <$100. Seeing as we invited 140 people, I figure that it's big enough for anyone who prefers to give a boxed gift, but we also did not register for stuff just for the sake of it. Keep your registry small and you'll likely get cash anyway, which you can use toward your honeymoon.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • If you don't want a lot of stuff, just don't register for a lot of stuff. We registered at one store for things we really wanted to upgrade. There was a grand total of 35 items (tiny compared to most registries I've seen). 

    We got many of those upgrades and everyone else gave us cash. Works out nicely. 



    @thisismynickname just curious did you end up getting gift cards to the store you registered with? I'm still not sure on registry but we are thinking a small one, like yours maybe 20ish items tops.  My "fear" for lack of a better word is getting a ton of gift cards to that store and if so then making sure the store we choose is the right one.

    As in, thought about Kohls or BB&B because they always have coupons and sales, but if we got 20 Kohls or BB&B gift cards it would take years for us to spend them. So I'm thinking Target might be a better option to register in case someone thinks well let me just get a gift card to the store they registered at since all of the items are already bought, we would get more mileage out of Target than the others.

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    I got married over 6 years ago. No HM fund. Not sure they were around.

    At the wedding 95% of the gifts were money. No fee. No lying to my guests into thinking they are giving me an experience. NO waiting around for a check. Just cash and checks.


    For the shower we got gifts. Whole point of the shower anyway.


    We didn't get too many GC. Maybe one or 2. We lived out of the country. We were able to use the few we did get before we got back home.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    kvruns said:

    If you don't want a lot of stuff, just don't register for a lot of stuff. We registered at one store for things we really wanted to upgrade. There was a grand total of 35 items (tiny compared to most registries I've seen). 

    We got many of those upgrades and everyone else gave us cash. Works out nicely. 



    @thisismynickname just curious did you end up getting gift cards to the store you registered with? I'm still not sure on registry but we are thinking a small one, like yours maybe 20ish items tops.  My "fear" for lack of a better word is getting a ton of gift cards to that store and if so then making sure the store we choose is the right one.

    As in, thought about Kohls or BB&B because they always have coupons and sales, but if we got 20 Kohls or BB&B gift cards it would take years for us to spend them. So I'm thinking Target might be a better option to register in case someone thinks well let me just get a gift card to the store they registered at since all of the items are already bought, we would get more mileage out of Target than the others.

    Actually, no. When you create the registry, make sure to turn off the gift card function if there is one. I used Crate and Barrel and it added it automatically until I learned here that it's the equivalent of asking for cash. Whoops!  My coworkers and my husband's coworkers threw us showers at work and gave us gift cards. One other guest to the wedding gave us a gift card, and all the remaining gifts were cash. 

    I think having the small registry also gets the point across that you don't need stuff. If someone didn't buy off the registry, you'd probably just get cash. If someone has to choose between a gift card to a store and cash/check, what's actually easier to give? You know? A gift card literally takes more effort to go get, haha. 

    Good idea registering at Target then, since you can even get groceries there. 
    ________________________________


  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    Well, I assure you I am not being cute with matters of money.  You think Macy's isn't making out big with our registry too?  Just sayin.  It's interesting that it was on Shark Tank. In the end, I have to wonder why I asked this question to the group anyway.  If I had to ask, then I should have known.  I have decided to go for Macy's and Amazon.  Some one mentioned amazon and that's a great idea.  We can register for items that we ca't find at Macy's.  The HF plus another registry makes me slightly uneasy and I should listen to that intuition.  I am not against the HF though, truly, if a bride and groom goes for it I wouldn't be disgusted at all.  I do think HF or traditional registry, but not a combo of both.    
    OMG 

    When you register for a set of six glasses at Macy's and your guest goes and buys that set, Macy's doesn't keep one of the glasses as a fee.

    THIS ISN'T THAT HARD TO COMPREHEND. 
    Yep.

    Also there are some products you just have to buy at a store.  No matter how talented I am, I'm never going to be able to make a Ninja Blender at home.   Will never happen.  

    I can also use coupons, other discounts or even get the products at another store.  In the end you will still get the product.  You are not getting 93% of the product. You are getting the whole thing.  The fact I might have spent less is irrelevant. 

    Money is just not one of those things you need to outsource.   People can give you money directly to you without a middle man taking a cut.  

     I have yet to see how going through a middle man is a more convenient  way to give money?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    esstee33
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