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Re: D

  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Knottie33633709 said:

    I have a group of about 10 friends that I found myself pretty close to during the December time frame, when the save the dates were sent.  I sent save the dates to all of them.  When it came time for my bridal shower, NONE of them are attending. They are driving somewhere the morning of my shower to go on vacation, which they could delay by a few hours to attend my shower. If I was a "good friend", I would expect them to rearrange their plans to attend the shower.  At this point, I am greatly disappointed and don't feel like I want them to be part of my "special day".  Any advice on how to handle? 

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    Yes, it's disappointing that people you are close to won't be able to make it to your shower. However, there is nothing you can do about it. And in the end, whether anyone attends your shower or not will have zero effect on the fact that you are getting married.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • simcal18simcal18 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    Knottie33633709 said:

    I have a group of about 10 friends that I found myself pretty close to during the December time frame, when the save the dates were sent.  I sent save the dates to all of them.  When it came time for my bridal shower, NONE of them are attending. They are driving somewhere the morning of my shower to go on vacation, which they could delay by a few hours to attend my shower. If I was a "good friend", I would expect them to rearrange their plans to attend the shower.  At this point, I am greatly disappointed and don't feel like I want them to be part of my "special day".  Any advice on how to handle? 

    JIC

    Invitations are invitations, not summonses.  Nobody is required to go to your bridal shower, and nobody is required to rearrange their life so that they can go to a party honoring you.  This isn't even your wedding--it's your shower.  I'm sorry that your friends can't come, but that's life.  Put on your big girl panties and get over it.
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  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    kmmssg said:

    I think you are ridiculous to define their friendship by whether or not they attend your shower.  And, lose the "my special day" line - it may be special for you but for everyone else it is a party.  Are  you seriously going to throw away these friendships over missing a party?  What kind of friend does that make you.  I also think there might be some MUD in here, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt to start with.

    Nope- no benefits of doubt given here on my end ;)  

    OP, this is terrible, and I call MUD.
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  • arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2015
    Seriously? I hope this is MUD. Otherwise, get over yourself.

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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Vacation > shower every time. Or very nearly anyway. I guess I'd delay to attend one for my cousin who's practically my sister. Showers are pretty boring. Vacations are fun. No-brainer.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There's no way I would delay a vacation for a shower. And I wouldn't want my friends to either. Let it go.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    MUD!

    If not, I'm guessing the vacation was arranged well in advance of shower invitations. 
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    My advice is to grow up. It's just a party. If it was so important they be there you should have checked the date with them. I would never expect my friends to delay their vacation just to come to a shower. I don't get why people make such big deals about showers. It's not like it's a major life event, nothing important is happening at them.


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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I stopped going to showers years ago.  I send a gift, but I never attend.  I didn't even go to my BFF's baby shower.  No excuse given, I just don't do showers.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    A lot of my friends were not able to attend my shower because it was during their April vacation (teachers). Oh well, that's life. Let it go.
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  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    thisismynickname said:

    MUD!


    If not, I'm guessing the vacation was arranged well in advance of shower invitations. 
    A little off topic but when I first came on here I had no idea what "MUD" was so I used the Google and FOREVER I thought it meant "Multiple User Disorder" where a troll makes up multiple user IDs to back up typically unpopular POVs on internet forums.  I was all "Who has that kind of time?!" but it stands for "Made Up Drama", right?  Haha. 
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  • augsum15augsum15 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    Knottie33633709 said:

    I have a group of about 10 friends that I found myself pretty close to during the December time frame, when the save the dates were sent.  I sent save the dates to all of them.  When it came time for my bridal shower, NONE of them are attending. They are driving somewhere the morning of my shower to go on vacation, which they could delay by a few hours to attend my shower. If I was a "good friend", I would expect them to rearrange their plans to attend the shower.  At this point, I am greatly disappointed and don't feel like I want them to be part of my "special day".  Any advice on how to handle? 

    She did say "if"....
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    A lot of vacations are planned months in advance. If you had any input into the date of the shower, you should've checked to make sure it was okay with the people you really wanted there.

    And either way, while I understand your disappointment, an invitation is not an obligation. Your friends really aren't doing anything wrong. Enjoy your shower with the people who are there and move on.
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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    sophhabobopha said:

    Showers are so fucking boring. No way in hell I'd cancel a vacation go to one.

    Especially if there are games. No I do not want to pin the mustache on the groom.
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    My most favorite, look forward to all year long, annual train bar crawl was almost the day we were scheduled to leave for our honeymoon. I did not change my honeymoon.

    I do consider myself a good friend and there is no way in hell I would move a vacation for a shower. A friend's wedding, maybe. Maybe. But a shower? F that S. 
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    jacques27 said:

    So you randomly became so close to a group of 10 people around the December time frame (so only three months ago - for reference, I have a carton of almond milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with - almond milk lasts a ridiculously long time) and now are tragically hurt that they aren't rearranging their group vacation plans (because arranging vacation plans and time off for 10 adults is so ridiculously simple) to attend a party that serves only to give you gifts?  A party that you appear to be throwing for yourself since you said you sent save the dates?

    If this were real, I guess I'd be more upset and questioning how horrible of a person I must be that my 10 close friends all planned a group vacation without me. 

    I'm assuming she meant the STD for the wedding, not the shower.

    Who sends STDs for a shower anyway.
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2015
    huskypuppy14 said:

    jacques27 said:

    So you randomly became so close to a group of 10 people around the December time frame (so only three months ago - for reference, I have a carton of almond milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with - almond milk lasts a ridiculously long time) and now are tragically hurt that they aren't rearranging their group vacation plans (because arranging vacation plans and time off for 10 adults is so ridiculously simple) to attend a party that serves only to give you gifts?  A party that you appear to be throwing for yourself since you said you sent save the dates?

    If this were real, I guess I'd be more upset and questioning how horrible of a person I must be that my 10 close friends all planned a group vacation without me. 

    I'm assuming she meant the STD for the wedding, not the shower.

    Who sends STDs for a shower anyway.
    My first read of it, I assumed they were for the wedding.  But my second read of it as I was posting, it read a little more ambiguous to me and I wasn't entirely sure what the save the dates were for.  And then I decided it ultimately didn't matter since I'm reasonably sure it's MUD anyway and if it isn't MUD I think the odds are even money that she may just be throwing her own shower.  Regardless of who is throwing the shower, it's a gross over-reaction and unreasonable expectation for them to rearrange their lives for a shower.
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited March 2015
    jacques27 said:

    So you randomly became so close to a group of 10 people around the December time frame (so only three months ago - for reference, I have a carton of almond milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with - almond milk lasts a ridiculously long time) and now are tragically hurt that they aren't rearranging their group vacation plans (because arranging vacation plans and time off for 10 adults is so ridiculously simple) to attend a party that serves only to give you gifts?  A party that you appear to be throwing for yourself since you said you sent save the dates?

    If this were real, I guess I'd be more upset and questioning how horrible of a person I must be that my 10 close friends all planned a group vacation without me. 

    That's what I was thinking this post was going to be about...... "Disappointed in So-Called Friends: I got close with a group of 10 women and even sent them STDs to my wedding, and now I find out they're taking off for a vacation the day of my shower and I wasn't even invited!" No joke, that's how I thought this was gonna go. Then I read more and realized that the OP is upset that her new friends didn't rearrange their life plans for her. 

    Um, back when I wasn't even 21 yet, my BEST friend in the world and I got into an argument and didn't make up for about 3 days.... during that 3-day time span, she booked a vacation to Florida with another mutual friend, a vacation that WE had been talking about going on for months, for spring break. Best friend of 5 years, 3 days without talking and she books "our" spring break trip with someone else, and has the balls to ask me to drive them to and from the airport, in a major city 40 minutes. away, for $20 gas money.

    That.... or, 10 grown, adult women I met 3 months ago that are all taking a vacation together when my bridal shower is. Yeah, sorry, you have literally nothing to be upset about here. These women owe you not a whole lot, you guys all JUST met. Let it go.
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Bridal showers are not a big deal, and a lot of people hate them. I'm one of those people. I look forward to vacation, which is exciting and a big deal. I would never re-arrange my vacation plans to attend a boring party that I hate. 

    I never go to showers. That's not a reflection of my feelings about the bride; it's a reflection of my feelings about boringass lame parties. 
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  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    MUD. This is complete and utter MUD.
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    cupcait927 said:

    MUD. This is complete and utter MUD.

    What, you don't get pissed off that your 10 friends that you just met over the last 3 months are taking a vacation without you and missing your bridal shower?

    Stop being a reasonable person.

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  • arrippaarrippa member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I hope this is MUD otherwise you sound like a terrible friend.
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