The 31 day waiting period begins today. That gives us plenty of time. I'm not sure I understood the previous replies
So it hasn't been resolved.
There's not a judge standing there waiting for the 31 days to expire and then to sign your divorce. It might get finalized in 32 days, it might take 60, it might take more. You never know. And that assumes that everything is 100% filed perfectly and that the judge isn't going to reject it over a technicality.
That's because I worry about EVERYTHING! I certainly learned a valuable lesson through all this, though, and again I thank all of you for your candid answers. Naturally you didn't give me the answer I had hoped for and had everything not worked out you would have saved me from a huge embarrassment!
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
Really?? She asked a question about how she could make things work, she didn't actually DO it. Are people supposed to be embarrassed for the things they don't know? That's what this forum is here for!
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.
The point is, that's pure luck.
It's still poor planning and decision-making.
I'm glad it worked out for her.
Exactly, the point is wait until it's finalized (ie 31 days from now) to drop any money on anything. Not drop the money then cross your fingers it works out. That's just incredibly stupid, sorry not sorry.
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.
She's fine because she got lucky.
Take the married man out of the equation. Let's say your rich aunt Bertha says she's going to give you a million dollars for your wedding. You don't immediately start planning a million dollar wedding because what happens if Aunt Bertha changes her mind or the check bounces or whatever. You don't start planning until you have that money deposited into your bank account.
Likewise, you don't plan a wedding to a person who is still legally married because there's always the chance something will happen or prolong the process. You don't start planning until that divorce has gone all the way through.
I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.
She's fine because she got lucky.
Take the married man out of the equation. Let's say your rich aunt Bertha says she's going to give you a million dollars for your wedding. You don't immediately start planning a million dollar wedding because what happens if Aunt Bertha changes her mind or the check bounces or whatever. You don't start planning until you have that money deposited into your bank account.
Likewise, you don't plan a wedding to a person who is still legally married because there's always the chance something will happen or prolong the process. You don't start planning until that divorce has gone all the way through.
Well that's called promissory estoppel and you might have legal recourse against Aunt Bertha, such as a court forcing her to pay the money, depending on the more specific circumstances of the situation.
Sorry, law school finals are right around the corner I use many of the vendor issues on this forum as practice for contracts lol
Also, while OP certainly didn't make a smart decision to begin planning a wedding before the divorce was finalized, the comment about her having plenty more to be embarrassed about was uncalled for. She didn't even stomp her feet and say she feels sorry for our spouses. Yeah what she did was stupid, but, she came here trying to make it right if things didn't turn out according to her ideal plan. I can't justify insulting someone for that.
Yes, I made a planning mistake that could have backfired on me and I'm thankful it didn't. As for being embarrassed, I think you mean because he wasn't legally divorced.
When you talk of being involved with a married man, it sounds as if he goes home to his wife every night. They broke up 9 years ago (before I met him) and they haven't seen each other in the past four years. She initiated the final divorce proceedings so she can marry the father of her daughter and her soon-to-be-born baby.
I meant no offence to anyone on this board, and I hope your comments weren't meant to hurt me. Brides sharing idea, opinions, and advice -- that's what it's all about, right!
Re: Reverse of the PPD Question...Reception First?
Formerly martha1818
My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.
Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.
You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
Formerly martha1818
The point is, that's pure luck.
It's still poor planning and decision-making.
I'm glad it worked out for her.
Formerly martha1818
Well that's called promissory estoppel and you might have legal recourse against Aunt Bertha, such as a court forcing her to pay the money, depending on the more specific circumstances of the situation.
Sorry, law school finals are right around the corner
Also, while OP certainly didn't make a smart decision to begin planning a wedding before the divorce was finalized, the comment about her having plenty more to be embarrassed about was uncalled for. She didn't even stomp her feet and say she feels sorry for our spouses. Yeah what she did was stupid, but, she came here trying to make it right if things didn't turn out according to her ideal plan. I can't justify insulting someone for that.