Your weekly "Weddit" recap (wedding forum etiquette fails)

Dreamergirl8812 · March 2015

charcoalandblush said:
Oh. My. God.

Right now there's a woman who's pissed that people wrote in their (uninvited) children on the RSVPs and asks what to do. This is one reply:

My FW and I are having a child-free wedding. Our wedding venue limits us to 50 people total including ourselves, the photographers and the officiant. We have teired invites so 100 or so more people are invited to the dinner/dance, then another 75-100 are invited to just the dance.
We have made it very clear on our wedding website and the invites that the wedding itself is and Adults Only Affair. I made it impossible for anyone RSVP more people than they are allowed on the invite via our e-RSVP page (IT geeks and database wizardry).
Have received some flack over it but when we explain that libations will flow freely, parents deserve a night away from the kids to party like they were child-free 20-somethings again, and honestly do they want to be chasing their kids all over the place or hear the "I'm bored!" whining, it is suprising how many people do a "I never thought of it that way" and then apologize for even bringing it up.
EDIT: This is what I wrote on our wedding website. Feel free to copy and modify to your hearts content.
Introductions and Dinner
The Avalon Downtown will host our wedding reception where our guests will be welcomed to join us in celebrating our first meal as Husband and Wife and then to dance the night away in the Grand Ballroom, located on the second floor.

“Respectfully, An Adults-Only Occasion.”

While K***** and B**** love children, our reception location has a hard limit on the number of guests we are allowed to invite and we have reached that limit with those we have invited already. We literally can not accomodate children because allowing children means we can not invite some of our adult friends and family to attend our reception.
We also believe this should be a time for couples to focus on themselves, their personal relationships and to treat the reception as a date-night...a time to have fun and let loose without any obligations. We all remember how boring weddings were when we were children.
The reception hall will be open to our guests at 4:30 however the reception will start at 5:15 p.m. where adult guests are welcome to come an socialize before dinner is served.
Dinner will be served around 5:45 p.m.. Closer to the event, we will list what food items will be available for you to partake in!
The dancing will tentitively start around 7:30 p.m., though this is not a set time because we do not want you to feel that you need to rush your meal to enjoy the entire night!
Beyond the wedding party and a few select family members, we will not have arranged seating so sit with whom you wish!
A bar will be available if you wish imbue yourself with an adult beverage or three, just remember to bring your purse or wallet. An onsite ATM will be available if you happen to leave your money at home.

From what 50 Shades tells me, hard limits usually involve putting your fist in someone's asshole.

ETA: boxes, TK. Boxes.

peachy13 · March 2015

This is in a different subreddit, but it's worth a read:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/30d44o/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_witnessed_at_a/?limit=500

PurplekittenMew · March 2015

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.

It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.

charcoalandblush · March 2015

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.
It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1036615/cash-bars-everything-you-need-to-know-in-one-place

charcoalandblush · March 2015

peachy13 said:
This is in a different subreddit, but it's worth a read:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/30d44o/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_witnessed_at_a/?limit=500

Holy shit.

After the vows and the kiss, as the couple was walking together down the aisle, the mother of the bride stopped the recessional and announced that she and her husband were renewing their vows right then and there. The husband was mortified, but went along with it.

After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn't want all of that to "go to waste".

Once they had renewed their vows, the bride's mother invited everyone to the "joint reception". Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the brides parents would be exchanging vows.

Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the drunken and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother's "special day", called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left.

The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2015

PurplekittenMew said:

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.
It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.

1st, I don't believe that no venue at all offers open or limited bars, and that cash or dry is the only option.

Do the venues allow you to bring in your own alcohol? That would be a solution.

If they truly are all cash or dry venues, then dry is the only polite option for a hosted event. Guests are not entitled to alcohol and a host is not rude for not providing it. But when a person is hosting an event, they are required to pay for all food and beverages.

[Deleted User] · March 2015

PurplekittenMew said:

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.
It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.

No, what you do, as the host, is give the venue your credit card and tell them that you will be picking up the tab for all the drinks your guests order. It's called a Consumption Bar rather than an Open Bar. They are both "Open" to your guests. The difference is how YOU pay for it. An open bar means that everyone can drink as much as they want and you pay Per Person. A consumption bar means that everyone can drink as much as they want and you pay Per Drink. But you're not making your guests open their wallets at your event.

PurplekittenMew · March 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.
It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.
1st, I don't believe that no venue at all offers open or limited bars, and that cash or dry is the only option.

Do the venues allow you to bring in your own alcohol? That would be a solution.

If they truly are all cash or dry venues, then dry is the only polite option for a hosted event. Guests are not entitled to alcohol and a host is not rude for not providing it. But when a person is hosting an event, they are required to pay for all food and beverages.

It....doesn't...matter what you believe. They don't.

Isn't an important determining factor or whether something is rude or not whether offense is taken?

I mean, if I fart in a meeting at work, that's rude. If I fart while watching TV with my mom, it's not rude because she doesn't care. If I sneeze in a meeting in my office, not rude. If I sneeze in a meeting in an office in Japan, super rude!

So if in a town where none of the 4 venues offer or allow an open bar where people take no offense to a cash bar but DO get offended if there is no bar.... I feel like you're being a little ethnocentric.

[Deleted User] · March 2015

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.
It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.
1st, I don't believe that no venue at all offers open or limited bars, and that cash or dry is the only option.

Do the venues allow you to bring in your own alcohol? That would be a solution.

If they truly are all cash or dry venues, then dry is the only polite option for a hosted event. Guests are not entitled to alcohol and a host is not rude for not providing it. But when a person is hosting an event, they are required to pay for all food and beverages.
It....doesn't...matter what you believe. They don't.

Isn't an important determining factor or whether something is rude or not whether offense is taken?

I mean, if I fart in a meeting at work, that's rude. If I fart while watching TV with my mom, it's not rude because she doesn't care. If I sneeze in a meeting in my office, not rude. If I sneeze in a meeting in an office in Japan, super rude!

So if in a town where none of the 4 venues offer or allow an open bar where people take no offense to a cash bar but DO get offended if there is no bar.... I feel like you're being a little ethnocentric.

I still say that if I had to have my wedding reception at one of these four venues, I'd hand the bartender my credit card and tell him that all the drinks were on me. That's a cash bar where I AS THE HOST am paying all the cash for the drinks. Done and done.

cupcait927 · March 2015

adk19 said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.
It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.
1st, I don't believe that no venue at all offers open or limited bars, and that cash or dry is the only option.

Do the venues allow you to bring in your own alcohol? That would be a solution.

If they truly are all cash or dry venues, then dry is the only polite option for a hosted event. Guests are not entitled to alcohol and a host is not rude for not providing it. But when a person is hosting an event, they are required to pay for all food and beverages.
It....doesn't...matter what you believe. They don't.

Isn't an important determining factor or whether something is rude or not whether offense is taken?

I mean, if I fart in a meeting at work, that's rude. If I fart while watching TV with my mom, it's not rude because she doesn't care. If I sneeze in a meeting in my office, not rude. If I sneeze in a meeting in an office in Japan, super rude!

So if in a town where none of the 4 venues offer or allow an open bar where people take no offense to a cash bar but DO get offended if there is no bar.... I feel like you're being a little ethnocentric.
I still say that if I had to have my wedding reception at one of these four venues, I'd hand the bartender my credit card and tell him that all the drinks were on me. That's a cash bar where I AS THE HOST am paying all the cash for the drinks. Done and done.

^^This. I'd just pay for everyone's drinks that night. I can't imagine that just because they don't do true "open bar" and charge you per person that they wouldn't let you do a consumption bar. They don't care how they get paid, just that they get paid.

peachy13 · March 2015

So in the wedding subreddit (not weddingplanning) on Thursdays they have a thread where people can discuss wedding etiquette. One bride posted about how she went to a professional invitation place and was going over wording and was really surprised with the consultant said not to write "adults only" on the invitation. The bride really doesn't want people to think they can bring their kids and doesn't think the consultant's suggestion of just writing the adults' names on the invitations will work. Bride wants to ask reddit if the consultant is wrong. Sure enough most replies tell her just to write "adults only" and one reply says not to, that's is rude.

She then edits her original post today so that it now reads:

So not really a question about etiquette but kind of a big screw you to etiquette. I figure if someone is offended, they can just stay home. Maybe this is harsh of me, but I really just don't care. It's our wedding. I got an invite a few months ago that had the word "sh*t" on the response card. So I can't see a reason why "Adults Only" is a big deal.

chibiyui · March 2015

peachy13 said:
So in the wedding subreddit (not weddingplanning) on Thursdays they have a thread where people can discuss wedding etiquette. One bride posted about how she went to a professional invitation place and was going over wording and was really surprised with the consultant said not to write "adults only" on the invitation. The bride really doesn't want people to think they can bring their kids and doesn't think the consultant's suggestion of just writing the adults' names on the invitations will work. Bride wants to ask reddit if the consultant is wrong. Sure enough most replies tell her just to write "adults only" and one reply says not to, that's is rude.

She then edits her original post today so that it now reads:

So not really a question about etiquette but kind of a big screw you to etiquette. I figure if someone is offended, they can just stay home. Maybe this is harsh of me, but I really just don't care. It's our wedding. I got an invite a few months ago that had the word "sh*t" on the response card. So I can't see a reason why "Adults Only" is a big deal.

Of course she can't.

drunkenwitch · March 2015

charcoalandblush said:

peachy13 said:
This is in a different subreddit, but it's worth a read:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/30d44o/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_witnessed_at_a/?limit=500

Holy shit.

After the vows and the kiss, as the couple was walking together down the aisle, the mother of the bride stopped the recessional and announced that she and her husband were renewing their vows right then and there. The husband was mortified, but went along with it.
After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn't want all of that to "go to waste".
Once they had renewed their vows, the bride's mother invited everyone to the "joint reception". Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the brides parents would be exchanging vows.
Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the drunken and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother's "special day", called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left.
The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.

Umm, wow...I...fuck me. I think I just saw the one exception where I would not side eye a PPD.

allispain · March 2015

drunkenwitch said:

charcoalandblush said:

peachy13 said:
This is in a different subreddit, but it's worth a read:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/30d44o/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_witnessed_at_a/?limit=500

Holy shit.

After the vows and the kiss, as the couple was walking together down the aisle, the mother of the bride stopped the recessional and announced that she and her husband were renewing their vows right then and there. The husband was mortified, but went along with it.
After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn't want all of that to "go to waste".
Once they had renewed their vows, the bride's mother invited everyone to the "joint reception". Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the brides parents would be exchanging vows.
Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the drunken and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother's "special day", called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left.
The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.
Umm, wow...I...fuck me. I think I just saw the one exception where I would not side eye a PPD.

Ugh. Seriously. Also, I can only imagine what that bride's relationship must be like with her mother now...

drunkenwitch · March 2015

allispain said:

drunkenwitch said:

charcoalandblush said:

peachy13 said:
This is in a different subreddit, but it's worth a read:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/30d44o/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_witnessed_at_a/?limit=500

Holy shit.

After the vows and the kiss, as the couple was walking together down the aisle, the mother of the bride stopped the recessional and announced that she and her husband were renewing their vows right then and there. The husband was mortified, but went along with it.
After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn't want all of that to "go to waste".
Once they had renewed their vows, the bride's mother invited everyone to the "joint reception". Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the brides parents would be exchanging vows.
Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the drunken and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother's "special day", called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left.
The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.
Umm, wow...I...fuck me. I think I just saw the one exception where I would not side eye a PPD.
Ugh. Seriously. Also, I can only imagine what that bride's relationship must be like with her mother now...

None.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2015

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

redoryx said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit. The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar. I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about. He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged. We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin. All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.
Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.
How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?
Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.
It seemed like it to me. I've talked to some people from his town about it, and they say it would be rude to invite someone to a wedding and not have the option for them to buy a drink.
1st, I don't believe that no venue at all offers open or limited bars, and that cash or dry is the only option.

Do the venues allow you to bring in your own alcohol? That would be a solution.

If they truly are all cash or dry venues, then dry is the only polite option for a hosted event. Guests are not entitled to alcohol and a host is not rude for not providing it. But when a person is hosting an event, they are required to pay for all food and beverages.
It....doesn't...matter what you believe. They don't.

Isn't an important determining factor or whether something is rude or not whether offense is taken?

I mean, if I fart in a meeting at work, that's rude. If I fart while watching TV with my mom, it's not rude because she doesn't care. If I sneeze in a meeting in my office, not rude. If I sneeze in a meeting in an office in Japan, super rude!

So if in a town where none of the 4 venues offer or allow an open bar where people take no offense to a cash bar but DO get offended if there is no bar.... I feel like you're being a little ethnocentric.

Why. . . are. . . you. . . talking like. . . William. . . Shatner?

How in the hell small is this town that there are only 4 venues to
host a reception? What was their reasoning a to why they won't do open
bars?

Moving on, people who get offended as guests when no alcohol is offered by their hosts are gauche. That's just rude. Doesn't matter if you live in Wisconsin or NYC.

As other PPs have said, if these 4 venues won't allow you to officially have an open bar or bring in your own alcohol, then you tell them everyone's drinks are on your tab for the night and you hand over your card. If you are hosting an event, you don't make your guests pay for anything.

There's nothing ethnocentric about the etiquette of being a good host, those guidelines are universal.

peachy13 · March 2015

One bride just posted on Weddit to rant about her bachelorette party. She and her groom are eloping and want to throw themselves a combined destination bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas. They told all their friends about it and even offered to pay for hotel rooms, but no one has officially confirmed if they can go yet. Bride is super frustrated because none of the invited friends have kids or weekend jobs. How dare they pass up a free vacation?!

happybridetobe1987 · April 2015

peachy13 said:

polkad0t said:
From the other 'weddit':

http://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/307mpa/i_cant_find_the_shoes_anywhere/

Her theme has me eyerolling so hard I think I might explode. I bet you she is such a pain to deal with IRL.
"So do you have any theme or colors for your wedding?"

"Yeah I think I'm just going to go with Burberry meets paperboy out in the woods... I don't care if anyone says it's overdone, this was the vision I've had for a long time."

OMG I died!! this is the best comment ever. teach me your ways

redoryx · April 2015

I'm not a usual reddit user, but I've noticed that there are little indications for when a bride is having her wedding and the theme and I just noticed one where I think the theme is Little Red Riding Hood?

Because nothing says romantic like a predatory wolf stalking a little girl, tricking her, and then swallowing her, amirite?

Dear brides: please realize that many fairy tales were written as cautionary tales and then Disney came along and sanitized them. So, y'know, do your homework before picking one as your theme.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

"Baseball wedding reception" girl here. It's amazing how when you regurgitate incomplete information you can generate something that sounds ridiculous, isn't it? Nowhere did I ever say the baseball game is my reception. Nowhere did I ever say I expect gifts (nor is that what the word reception means by default; you don't bring gifts to a work reception, do you?). In fact, my post about it was asking how to make it clear that gifts are not expected. And you completely managed to leave out the part where we're having a lunch reception, not a "wedding reception" or a reception at a baseball game (which is actually a possible thing, whether it's your cup of tea or not). Reception, by the way, is a synonym for a more formal party. Which is what we're having. We're renting out a private room in an upscale restaurant for 30 immediate family members and friends for an all-you-can-eat lunch to celebrate our marriage. I am not re-wearing my dress. We are not re-staging our vows. I am not hiring a photographer or a DJ or anything. I'm just hosting a big lunch for my loved ones to celebrate that we got married. The invitations are clear about this. Following the lunch will be a baseball game and fireworks that they are also welcome to attend to spend time with us. So you took the last sentence and twisted it into "baseball game reception where she wants gifts." Did you fail the SAT reading comprehension portion? Or maybe you're just a crappy person who needs to generate misinformation to have some fodder to look "cool" here? You do realize criticizing people's weddings from a completely different site is kind of like going up to a random person on the street and calling them a fat lard, right?

I know what I'm doing is going to be a great time. I'm having my wedding the way I want to have it -- private. I'm inviting people to celebrate our marriage by spending a fun day with us. I am not crossing the two into some frankenhybrid all-about-me-PPD-give-me-presents-baseball-game-apalooza, whether you can actually comprehend what I've written or not.

princessgracekelly · April 2015

saaxvi said:
"Baseball wedding reception" girl here. It's amazing how when you regurgitate incomplete information you can generate something that sounds ridiculous, isn't it? Nowhere did I ever say the baseball game is my reception. Nowhere did I ever say I expect gifts (nor is that what the word reception means by default; you don't bring gifts to a work reception, do you?). In fact, my post about it was asking how to make it clear that gifts are not expected. And you completely managed to leave out the part where we're having a lunch reception, not a "wedding reception" or a reception at a baseball game (which is actually a possible thing, whether it's your cup of tea or not). Reception, by the way, is a synonym for a more formal party. Which is what we're having. We're renting out a private room in an upscale restaurant for 30 immediate family members and friends for an all-you-can-eat lunch to celebrate our marriage. I am not re-wearing my dress. We are not re-staging our vows. I am not hiring a photographer or a DJ or anything. I'm just hosting a big lunch for my loved ones to celebrate that we got married. The invitations are clear about this. Following the lunch will be a baseball game and fireworks that they are also welcome to attend to spend time with us. So you took the last sentence and twisted it into "baseball game reception where she wants gifts." Did you fail the SAT reading comprehension portion? Or maybe you're just a crappy person who needs to generate misinformation to have some fodder to look "cool" here? You do realize criticizing people's weddings from a completely different site is kind of like going up to a random person on the street and calling them a fat lard, right?

I know what I'm doing is going to be a great time. I'm having my wedding the way I want to have it -- private. I'm inviting people to celebrate our marriage by spending a fun day with us. I am not crossing the two into some frankenhybrid all-about-me-PPD-give-me-presents-baseball-game-apalooza, whether you can actually comprehend what I've written or not.

. . .

polkad0t · April 2015

alpaca5 said:
"Baseball wedding reception" girl here. It's amazing how when you regurgitate incomplete information you can generate something that sounds ridiculous, isn't it? Nowhere did I ever say the baseball game is my reception. Nowhere did I ever say I expect gifts (nor is that what the word reception means by default; you don't bring gifts to a work reception, do you?). In fact, my post about it was asking how to make it clear that gifts are not expected. And you completely managed to leave out the part where we're having a lunch reception, not a "wedding reception" or a reception at a baseball game (which is actually a possible thing, whether it's your cup of tea or not). Reception, by the way, is a synonym for a more formal party. Which is what we're having. We're renting out a private room in an upscale restaurant for 30 immediate family members and friends for an all-you-can-eat lunch to celebrate our marriage. I am not re-wearing my dress. We are not re-staging our vows. I am not hiring a photographer or a DJ or anything. I'm just hosting a big lunch for my loved ones to celebrate that we got married. The invitations are clear about this. Following the lunch will be a baseball game and fireworks that they are also welcome to attend to spend time with us. So you took the last sentence and twisted it into "baseball game reception where she wants gifts." Did you fail the SAT reading comprehension portion? Or maybe you're just a crappy person who needs to generate misinformation to have some fodder to look "cool" here? You do realize criticizing people's weddings from a completely different site is kind of like going up to a random person on the street and calling them a fat lard, right?

I know what I'm doing is going to be a great time. I'm having my wedding the way I want to have it -- private. I'm inviting people to celebrate our marriage by spending a fun day with us. I am not crossing the two into some frankenhybrid all-about-me-PPD-give-me-presents-baseball-game-apalooza, whether you can actually comprehend what I've written or not.

I am confused. That is all.

spockforprez · April 2015

alpaca5 said:
"Baseball wedding reception" girl here. It's amazing how when you regurgitate incomplete information you can generate something that sounds ridiculous, isn't it? Nowhere did I ever say the baseball game is my reception. Nowhere did I ever say I expect gifts (nor is that what the word reception means by default; you don't bring gifts to a work reception, do you?). In fact, my post about it was asking how to make it clear that gifts are not expected. And you completely managed to leave out the part where we're having a lunch reception, not a "wedding reception" or a reception at a baseball game (which is actually a possible thing, whether it's your cup of tea or not). Reception, by the way, is a synonym for a more formal party. Which is what we're having. We're renting out a private room in an upscale restaurant for 30 immediate family members and friends for an all-you-can-eat lunch to celebrate our marriage. I am not re-wearing my dress. We are not re-staging our vows. I am not hiring a photographer or a DJ or anything. I'm just hosting a big lunch for my loved ones to celebrate that we got married. The invitations are clear about this. Following the lunch will be a baseball game and fireworks that they are also welcome to attend to spend time with us. So you took the last sentence and twisted it into "baseball game reception where she wants gifts." Did you fail the SAT reading comprehension portion? Or maybe you're just a crappy person who needs to generate misinformation to have some fodder to look "cool" here? You do realize criticizing people's weddings from a completely different site is kind of like going up to a random person on the street and calling them a fat lard, right?

I know what I'm doing is going to be a great time. I'm having my wedding the way I want to have it -- private. I'm inviting people to celebrate our marriage by spending a fun day with us. I am not crossing the two into some frankenhybrid all-about-me-PPD-give-me-presents-baseball-game-apalooza, whether you can actually comprehend what I've written or not.

I am confused. That is all.

FYI: This thread was linked to on Weddit. She was posted about in this thread -

@peachy13 said "2 - Bride wants her “dream wedding” to be a private ceremony with just her close family and then a reception at a baseball game the next day with other family and friends who aren’t being invited to the ceremony. And no, it can’t just be a fun day out at the baseball game. It needs to be part of the wedding for some reason and must be labeled a “reception.” (read: gifts) Pretty much her entire family is telling her not to do this but she wants validation from the internet -- much like the bride above-- that she’s right and can do whatever she wants because it’s her SPESHUL DAY(S)."

@bethsmiles followed up with, "I don't understand - how is a baseball game a reception in any way? Why does she want to do this? People are so damn weird. "

So she was responding to that criticism.

Honestly, I'm a reddit user and post in /r/weddingplanning pretty frequently. I know the reddit username of the OP of this thread. There's not that much difference between the two places. A lot of the crazy threads that get posted are drive-bys and the comments usually address the craziest parts. *shrug* I think there's room enough for all of us.

flantastic · April 2015

alpaca5 said:
"Baseball wedding reception" girl here. It's amazing how when you regurgitate incomplete information you can generate something that sounds ridiculous, isn't it? Nowhere did I ever say the baseball game is my reception. Nowhere did I ever say I expect gifts (nor is that what the word reception means by default; you don't bring gifts to a work reception, do you?). In fact, my post about it was asking how to make it clear that gifts are not expected. And you completely managed to leave out the part where we're having a lunch reception, not a "wedding reception" or a reception at a baseball game (which is actually a possible thing, whether it's your cup of tea or not). Reception, by the way, is a synonym for a more formal party. Which is what we're having. We're renting out a private room in an upscale restaurant for 30 immediate family members and friends for an all-you-can-eat lunch to celebrate our marriage. I am not re-wearing my dress. We are not re-staging our vows. I am not hiring a photographer or a DJ or anything. I'm just hosting a big lunch for my loved ones to celebrate that we got married. The invitations are clear about this. Following the lunch will be a baseball game and fireworks that they are also welcome to attend to spend time with us. So you took the last sentence and twisted it into "baseball game reception where she wants gifts." Did you fail the SAT reading comprehension portion? Or maybe you're just a crappy person who needs to generate misinformation to have some fodder to look "cool" here? You do realize criticizing people's weddings from a completely different site is kind of like going up to a random person on the street and calling them a fat lard, right?

I know what I'm doing is going to be a great time. I'm having my wedding the way I want to have it -- private. I'm inviting people to celebrate our marriage by spending a fun day with us. I am not crossing the two into some frankenhybrid all-about-me-PPD-give-me-presents-baseball-game-apalooza, whether you can actually comprehend what I've written or not.

The sheer number of words that you have redefined to suit your purposes in this post is rather impressive.

polkad0t · April 2015

dreadpirateroberts said:

alpaca5 said:

FYI: This thread was linked to on Weddit. She was posted about in this thread -

@peachy13 said "2 - Bride wants her “dream wedding” to be a private ceremony with just her close family and then a reception at a baseball game the next day with other family and friends who aren’t being invited to the ceremony. And no, it can’t just be a fun day out at the baseball game. It needs to be part of the wedding for some reason and must be labeled a “reception.” (read: gifts) Pretty much her entire family is telling her not to do this but she wants validation from the internet -- much like the bride above-- that she’s right and can do whatever she wants because it’s her SPESHUL DAY(S)."

@bethsmiles followed up with, "I don't understand - how is a baseball game a reception in any way? Why does she want to do this? People are so damn weird. "

So she was responding to that criticism.

Honestly, I'm a reddit user and post in /r/weddingplanning pretty frequently. I know the reddit username of the OP of this thread. There's not that much difference between the two places. A lot of the crazy threads that get posted are drive-bys and the comments usually address the craziest parts. *shrug* I think there's room enough for all of us.

Ah I see I had forgotten that was mentioned. I think if you don't want random internet strangers commenting then don't post your plans. People online take the extreme of stuff and judge that, so no one should be surprised.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2015

polkad0t said:

alpaca5 said:
"Baseball wedding reception" girl here. It's amazing how when you regurgitate incomplete information you can generate something that sounds ridiculous, isn't it? Nowhere did I ever say the baseball game is my reception. Nowhere did I ever say I expect gifts (nor is that what the word reception means by default; you don't bring gifts to a work reception, do you?). In fact, my post about it was asking how to make it clear that gifts are not expected. And you completely managed to leave out the part where we're having a lunch reception, not a "wedding reception" or a reception at a baseball game (which is actually a possible thing, whether it's your cup of tea or not). Reception, by the way, is a synonym for a more formal party. Which is what we're having. We're renting out a private room in an upscale restaurant for 30 immediate family members and friends for an all-you-can-eat lunch to celebrate our marriage. I am not re-wearing my dress. We are not re-staging our vows. I am not hiring a photographer or a DJ or anything. I'm just hosting a big lunch for my loved ones to celebrate that we got married. The invitations are clear about this. Following the lunch will be a baseball game and fireworks that they are also welcome to attend to spend time with us. So you took the last sentence and twisted it into "baseball game reception where she wants gifts." Did you fail the SAT reading comprehension portion? Or maybe you're just a crappy person who needs to generate misinformation to have some fodder to look "cool" here? You do realize criticizing people's weddings from a completely different site is kind of like going up to a random person on the street and calling them a fat lard, right?

I know what I'm doing is going to be a great time. I'm having my wedding the way I want to have it -- private. I'm inviting people to celebrate our marriage by spending a fun day with us. I am not crossing the two into some frankenhybrid all-about-me-PPD-give-me-presents-baseball-game-apalooza, whether you can actually comprehend what I've written or not.
I am confused. That is all.

I think this is Ecktoberwedding aka KatieMc. . . . aka saavxi who posted in a thread on Receptions that she was having a dinner for close friends and family
then having a 300something party for the reception. Which sounds like a tiered reception, which is rude.

So we took that to task, and now the details are changing and her original account has been deleted renamed or something.

No one twisted your words. We took the information you had originally posted on multiple boards that you were having a reception at a baseball stadium or a theater, and that you were hosting 30 people to dinner but then having a 300+ person reception with the cake cutting, spotlight dances, etc. and we commented on all of that.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

We are cooler than you.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

I just love how much time you all have on your hands. Maybe you should get out of high school and focus on being kinder human beings. Does this gossip make you feel better? Thanks to the discovery of this thread I am discontinuing my Knot account as the website is not super helpful and people like you use it. Too bad it will take days to delete the account because this website is so poorly done that you have to email customer service to do so. I'm grateful I do not surround myself with people like you.

peachy13 · April 2015

lindsayrosenberg2 said:We are cooler than you.

I'm seriously trying to grasp the fact that you say this here and then immediately after in your next comment, tell us to get out of high school. You have to be kidding.

I just love how much time you all have on your hands. Maybe you should get out of high school and focus on being kinder human beings. Does this gossip make you feel better? Thanks to the discovery of this thread I am discontinuing my Knot account as the website is not super helpful and people like you use it. Too bad it will take days to delete the account because this website is so poorly done that you have to email customer service to do so. I'm grateful I do not surround myself with people like you.

TrixieJess · April 2015

redoryx said:
I'm not a usual reddit user, but I've noticed that there are little indications for when a bride is having her wedding and the theme and I just noticed one where I think the theme is Little Red Riding Hood?

Because nothing says romantic like a predatory wolf stalking a little girl, tricking her, and then swallowing her, amirite?

Dear brides: please realize that many fairy tales were written as cautionary tales and then Disney came along and sanitized them. So, y'know, do your homework before picking one as your theme.

It's only good if you follow the original where they cut themselves out of the wolf with the huntsman's ax and Red wears his fur as a cloak...Now that's a wedding I'll go to!

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