Wedding 911

HELP my future sister-in-law will be in her third trimester at our wedding!

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Re: HELP my future sister-in-law will be in her third trimester at our wedding!

  • Ummm, asking a message board for the best gift idea is not poking her in any way. It's actually being prepared for the moment of handing it to her and knowing I did the best I could, which in case you're wondering, is what I do with my kids too. 
  • edited June 2015
  • Ummm, asking a message board for the best gift idea is not poking her in any way. It's actually being prepared for the moment of handing it to her and knowing I did the best I could, which in case you're wondering, is what I do with my kids too. 



    Then is "not giving her an extra gift," per everyone's advice, the situation you're now preparing for? Or is it "ignore everyone, be rude, and then be insulting to your real life people"?

  • "And yet, if I got on here and balked about how pissy I was about having to do anything special for her, I'd be a bitch then too (I'm not, clearly)."


    Not saying I'm not a bitch, read, please!!! I said that I'm not jumping on here complaining about having to provide special accommodations for her. 

    And it's the pregnant women in my life, who when I leave them alone, they bitch about how I'm not doing enough for them that I came here in the first place. It's a rock and a hard place.
    Oh so you're real title should have been "How do I go about growing a spine?", because that's your problem.

    If you ask someone if they need anything and they say no and then they bitch you aren't doing enough they're being martyrs. No one likes a fucking martyr. And unless you knocked them up it ain't up to you to move heaven and earth to please them.

    Next time they whine you say "Oh did you need something? Because you said no earlier..." and smile at them like "bitch if you weren't pregnant I'd slap you".
  • edited June 2015
  • edited June 2015
  • edited April 2015

    Ummm, asking a message board for the best gift idea is not poking her in any way. It's actually being prepared for the moment of handing it to her and knowing I did the best I could, which in case you're wondering, is what I do with my kids too. 

    And when they keep saying "No, I don't want that, please leave me alone" you just keep shoving it at them over and over and over?
    Nor has that happened, all we did was ask if she needed her meal changed because we thought she may no longer want fish. She said no, and not to worry about her at all. So there you have it. All the time(s) she said no to ALLLLL of my offers of help. 
  • (Talk about blowing things out of proportion)
  • Ummm, asking a message board for the best gift idea is not poking her in any way. It's actually being prepared for the moment of handing it to her and knowing I did the best I could, which in case you're wondering, is what I do with my kids too. 

    And when they keep saying "No, I don't want that, please leave me alone" you just keep shoving it at them over and over and over?
    Nor has that happened, all we did was ask if she needed her meal changed because she ordered Salmon and we were worried she was watching her fish intake. She said no, and not to worry about her at all. So there you have it. All the time(s) she said no to ALLLLL of my offers of help. 

    Um, are you kidding me? You really are being crazy meddlesome. Mind your own business.
  • What part is confusing you: the fact is, my fiance asked her one time about one thing because she's a pescatarian (only eats fish and vegetables) and he thought she might not want the fish any longer. Then, I simply wanted gift ideas, and since we're getting the rest of our close ones special things for traveling far, perhaps hers should focus on comfort and relaxation? Or is it just that you can't handle being wrong and NOT getting the last word...
  • What part is confusing you: the fact is, my fiance asked her one time about one thing because she's a pescatarian (only eats fish and vegetables) and he thought she might not want the fish any longer. Then, I simply wanted gift ideas, and since we're getting the rest of our close ones special things for traveling far, perhaps hers should focus on comfort and relaxation? Or is it just that you can't handle being wrong and NOT getting the last word...

    Because you made a point of specifically pointing out how you, in your martyriffic ways, have already asked how you can accommodate her and she said don't bother? Not our fault if you didn't specify that you didn't REALLY ask her anything of value or importance.

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  • I'd like to know what's telling you that I'm still "going at her" when in reality I haven't even been the one to talk to her about this at all, and simply want her to know we appreciate her trip (just as we're letting the rest of our close loved ones know as well). I want to be able to hand her something that she *might* actually appreciate, and to be honest if we don't get her anything we'll look like real assholes because we did for other close family members. Heaven forbid it give her comfort. 

  • Show me where it says that. Did I admit I was worried she's traveling far? Yes. I think that's a common worry of DW in general. But come on I used the word comfort multiple times! Jesus!
  • What part is confusing you: the fact is, my fiance asked her one time about one thing because she's a pescatarian (only eats fish and vegetables) and he thought she might not want the fish any longer. Then, I simply wanted gift ideas, and since we're getting the rest of our close ones special things for traveling far, perhaps hers should focus on comfort and relaxation? Or is it just that you can't handle being wrong and NOT getting the last word...
    Because you made a point of specifically pointing out how you, in your martyriffic ways, have already asked how you can accommodate her and she said don't bother? Not our fault if you didn't specify that you didn't REALLY ask her anything of value or importance.

    a) you're absolutely right I haven't talked to her yet because I was looking for advice here first (mistake)

    b) if you think it's not important, then go away. But no, peck peck peck and then accuse the OP of pecking. Fucking mature. 
  • What part is confusing you: the fact is, my fiance asked her one time about one thing because she's a pescatarian (only eats fish and vegetables) and he thought she might not want the fish any longer. Then, I simply wanted gift ideas, and since we're getting the rest of our close ones special things for traveling far, perhaps hers should focus on comfort and relaxation? Or is it just that you can't handle being wrong and NOT getting the last word...



    None of that is what you asked for in your OP. Everything you've said would indicate that your SIL doesn't want a gift that focuses on comfort and relaxation. As I said, I'm pregnant and I would not want this either. Get her a gift she actually wants if you're going to make this gesture for your family.

    No we cannot handle being wrong. It destroys us. Luckily, it happens pretty infrequently.

    ETA My mother in law is all about getting gifts that SHE thinks people really should have. They usually aren't things people want. But SHE knows best. You are reminding me of her. Your SIL an individual who is not us. So stop asking us, especially since you don't seem to respect anything we say, and go find out what her interests are and get a gift related to that.

    That is exactly why I asked because I have no idea!!! Where in heaven's name and I demanding she have certain gifts?!? I am asking what to get her since everyone else is getting something, and your input was exactly what I was looking for, past tense. 

    Still can't believe that a post ASKING for gift ideas is tagged as my demanding she have certain gifts. I specifically said I wanted to add to the list of possibilities (which is slim at best). 
  • What part is confusing you: the fact is, my fiance asked her one time about one thing because she's a pescatarian (only eats fish and vegetables) and he thought she might not want the fish any longer. Then, I simply wanted gift ideas, and since we're getting the rest of our close ones special things for traveling far, perhaps hers should focus on comfort and relaxation? Or is it just that you can't handle being wrong and NOT getting the last word...



    None of that is what you asked for in your OP. Everything you've said would indicate that your SIL doesn't want a gift that focuses on comfort and relaxation. As I said, I'm pregnant and I would not want this either. Get her a gift she actually wants if you're going to make this gesture for your family.

    No we cannot handle being wrong. It destroys us. Luckily, it happens pretty infrequently.

    ETA My mother in law is all about getting gifts that SHE thinks people really should have. They usually aren't things people want. But SHE knows best. You are reminding me of her. Your SIL an individual who is not us. So stop asking us, especially since you don't seem to respect anything we say, and go find out what her interests are and get a gift related to that.

    That is exactly why I asked because I have no idea!!! Where in heaven's name and I demanding she have certain gifts?!? I am asking what to get her since everyone else is getting something, and your input was exactly what I was looking for, past tense. 

    Still can't believe that a post ASKING for gift ideas is tagged as my demanding she have certain gifts. I specifically said I wanted to add to the list of possibilities (which is slim at best). 


    Did you already have that joint and tequila? Did I?! YOU DID NOT ASK THIS AT ALL!!!

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  • edited April 2015

    Who is forcing anyone???! I'm simply wanting to buy her a massage for the afternoon, or something of the like. For someone who's all, it's her choice, she can CHOOSE whether or not she wants to use it. I'm looking for more ideas of relaxing experiences for her. IN WHAT SENTENCE DID YOU COMPREHEND FORCE???! 


    Bride-flipping-zilla was a look you never moved on from. 

    And I'll go even further to say I pray for your husband, particularly when he has to buy you a gift. Holy-cannoli that must be a dish-throwing night in your house. 

    Thank you to those who are providing more ideas, I'm planning on picking one or two that fit her personality, and she can do with them what she wishes! They are truly helpful, and I do appreciate your productive contribution.

    My second or third post, can't remember, but clealy references said gift. 
  • The only person you can figure out how to quote is yourself? Good job.

    Bye troll.

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  • What part is confusing you: the fact is, my fiance asked her one time about one thing because she's a pescatarian (only eats fish and vegetables) and he thought she might not want the fish any longer. Then, I simply wanted gift ideas, and since we're getting the rest of our close ones special things for traveling far, perhaps hers should focus on comfort and relaxation? Or is it just that you can't handle being wrong and NOT getting the last word...



    None of that is what you asked for in your OP. Everything you've said would indicate that your SIL doesn't want a gift that focuses on comfort and relaxation. As I said, I'm pregnant and I would not want this either. Get her a gift she actually wants if you're going to make this gesture for your family.

    No we cannot handle being wrong. It destroys us. Luckily, it happens pretty infrequently.

    ETA My mother in law is all about getting gifts that SHE thinks people really should have. They usually aren't things people want. But SHE knows best. You are reminding me of her. Your SIL an individual who is not us. So stop asking us, especially since you don't seem to respect anything we say, and go find out what her interests are and get a gift related to that.

    That is exactly why I asked because I have no idea!!! Where in heaven's name and I demanding she have certain gifts?!? I am asking what to get her since everyone else is getting something, and your input was exactly what I was looking for, past tense. 

    Still can't believe that a post ASKING for gift ideas is tagged as my demanding she have certain gifts. I specifically said I wanted to add to the list of possibilities (which is slim at best). 
    Did you already have that joint and tequila? Did I?! YOU DID NOT ASK THIS AT ALL!!!

    Should have been more clear with my instructions. After the booze and weed you were supposed to go fuck or masturbate to achieve orgasm. This is my bad. I apologize.

    If you did lolo tidbit is now very relaxed.
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