Bridesmaids Makeup

onefootinthebayou · April 2015

Knottie03777613 said:
@dreamergirl8812 no people on this thread called me stupid. My MOH told me that yellow washed her out and so she NEEDS red lipstick. I just wish she would be more open to finding something more natural to her lip and skin color.

@southernbelle0915 I am trying so hard. She picked her dress and I am letting all the girls wear their own shoes and although their hair is getting done professionally I'm not going to tell them what to do. I am tryin really hard to stay grounded this one issue though is driving me a little over the edge. It's hard to be reasonable all the time! Some of these replies have helped though.

To the bolded - she is your MOH, which we assume means she is someone you care very deeply about to have given such a place of honor. If this is the case, wouldn't you bend over backwards to make sure she was comfortable with her look on the day she stands up for you? I would be WAY more stressed if I thought my "vision" was making my bridesmaids uncomfortable in any way.

It sounds like you are going to back off this issue, and I applaud you for that. As PPs have pointed out, there's really no polite way to tell someone what they think looks good on them/makes them feel pretty doesn't fit your "wedding vision". Just, no.

That being said, as someone who is well into the planning process and getting very close, this is an EXTREMELY minor thing to stress out about. Wait until the real issues start surfacing (crazy relatives pushing agendas, 101 ways to go over your budget, your mom obsessing that FI's frat brothers are going to "ruin the reception"...) and for the love of God, save your patience and sanity for all that, b/c it WILL come.

Full disclosure, I had a terrible experience when I first posted on here. I hate to even mention it b/c I've made some friends here and learned a TON about the finer points of etiquette and learned some solutions to some wedding planning challenges but in the beginning, I was rushed, traveling, dashed off a post, was misunderstood, fired back, thought people's sarcastic signatures were directed at me, etc. Just chill, stick around, shed the sensitivity and you just may learn how to throw a sophisticated, well-hosted, memorable wedding without ruining any relationships, blowing your budget, or burning any bridges in the process.

Good luck and embrace the red lipstick. I promise this will be the least of your problems...

Knottie03777613 · April 2015

Actually I have been planning for over a year and am only two months out. I think part of the problem is that (most of) the bigger issues have been worked out and now I am biding my time and that is more of a problem than any one particular detail.

Thank you for your kind response and the encouragement to stay on. I believe you when you say there is a lot to learn here and some of the sarcasm has even made me laugh. I can do without the people telling me I need to be slapped, but the more impersonal sarcasm has actually been helpful in putting things into perspective. Also learning about signatures being a thing was helpful.

I of course want my MOH to feel comfortable and I feel I have given her a LOT of leeway in making decisions. I am trying to be open about the red lipstick thing. I DO want everyone to look their best it's just tough because she and I happen to disagree on what truly looks best on her.

I did not realize makeup was such a sensitive issue for so many people but now that I know I promise to back off.

Again thank you for being so helpful

ohannabelle · April 2015

Knottie03777613 said:
See, I think Kim Kardashian's doesn't look all that great. HOWEVER, I think the girl in the last picture looks nice. Who is that? Her coloring is sort of similar to my MOH...if I could find a color like that, maybe she'd be willing to wear it? It's got enough pink to it that I think it might avoid stoplight syndrome...

Holy Mother on a pogo stick! Stop.

Just frikking stop.

This is what you get to decorate: aisle, tables, reception area in general, foyer.

Not people's heads. You do not get to dictate what other people put on their faces. You don't even get to suggest it.

Nobody in the universe will give a flying fuck what lipstick your bridesmaids are wearing. Nobody will notice.

It is honestly seriously crazypants to be this concerned about somebody else's lipstick.

This is not normal adult behavior.

I've only known you for about three paragraphs and I want a valium and a stiff drink.

(Not for me. For you.)

I suggest some stress management counseling. It can't be healthy to be this obsessively concerned about something so absolutely insignificant.

drunkenwitch · April 2015

Knottie03777613 said:
Actually I have been planning for over a year and am only two months out. I think part of the problem is that (most of) the bigger issues have been worked out and now I am biding my time and that is more of a problem than any one particular detail.

Thank you for your kind response and the encouragement to stay on. I believe you when you say there is a lot to learn here and some of the sarcasm has even made me laugh. I can do without the people telling me I need to be slapped, but the more impersonal sarcasm has actually been helpful in putting things into perspective. Also learning about signatures being a thing was helpful.

I of course want my MOH to feel comfortable and I feel I have given her a LOT of leeway in making decisions. I am trying to be open about the red lipstick thing. I DO want everyone to look their best it's just tough because she and I happen to disagree on what truly looks best on her.

I did not realize makeup was such a sensitive issue for so many people but now that I know I promise to back off.

Again thank you for being so helpful

She is not a child, you are not her MOTHER.

Stop. just stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Knottie03777613 · April 2015

TBH this issue was taking up a lot less of my time and brain space before I was posting here. I think I've gotten what I need so this will be my last time on this particular board. I'll let you guys know if I need any more reality checks in the next couple of months. For now I'm out.

tojai · April 2015

If it helps at all, unless she really painted her face to look like a clown or something, I don't think anyone would be bothered by the wedding party not having identical makeup palettes. When I attend weddings I don't expect the bridesmaids to all have the same color hair, the same skin tone, the same height, the same size, etc. They are individual people and they'll each look a little bit different depending on their bodies and their choices. Seriously, it is ok.

Maybe instead of focusing on wanting your nearest and dearest to look the way you think is best, it would help to take a minute and focus on HER feelings about what goes on HER face. If you're this upset about the color lipstick another grown woman chooses to wear, imagine how upsetting it would be for her to be pressured into wearing something that she doesn't feel good in. It IS a sensitive issue - you're this bothered about it and it's not even your face! I know you said you're going to back off, but looking at it from the point of the view of the person who is wearing it will probably help with that.

drunkenwitch · April 2015

Knottie03777613 said:
TBH this issue was taking up a lot less of my time and brain space before I was posting here. I think I've gotten what I need so this will be my last time on this particular board. I'll let you guys know if I need any more reality checks in the next couple of months. For now I'm out.

Ah yes, the "I didn't get my validation flounce"

VulgarGirl · April 2015

Smoke a bowl, do a shot, and go fuck your FI. Cause girlfriend you needs to relax if you actively looking for things to worry about.

Dreamergirl8812 · April 2015

Knottie03777613 said:
TBH this issue was taking up a lot less of my time and brain space before I was posting here. I think I've gotten what I need so this will be my last time on this particular board. I'll let you guys know if I need any more reality checks in the next couple of months. For now I'm out.

levioosa · April 2015

Knottie03777613 said:
@jacques27 I am not so much worried about her looking "better" as her looking distracting (I know most of my guy friends find her hotter than me and I am actually okay with it it's always been that way). I worry that if she is the only one wearing a lot of makeup or a bright lip that it will look out of place, and my other bridesmaids and myself tend to go for a less made up look. Unfortunately this is not the only thing in my life to stress over however it was one of the things I have been worrying about and one that a wedding board might actually be valuable. This post has been helpful overall after I waded through all the sarcasm though. It is important to keep things in perspective and I won't make a scene even if she wears red lipstick. I WISH there was a polite way to do this but you all have proven to me that there is not so I am just trying to deal. I figure I will probably be so distracted the day of that I won't really notice.

Knottie03777613 said:
Actually I have been planning for over a year and am only two months out. I think part of the problem is that (most of) the bigger issues have been worked out and now I am biding my time and that is more of a problem than any one particular detail.

Thank you for your kind response and the encouragement to stay on. I believe you when you say there is a lot to learn here and some of the sarcasm has even made me laugh. I can do without the people telling me I need to be slapped, but the more impersonal sarcasm has actually been helpful in putting things into perspective. Also learning about signatures being a thing was helpful.

I of course want my MOH to feel comfortable and I feel I have given her a LOT of leeway in making decisions. I am trying to be open about the red lipstick thing. I DO want everyone to look their best it's just tough because she and I happen to disagree on what truly looks best on her.

I did not realize makeup was such a sensitive issue for so many people but now that I know I promise to back off.

Again thank you for being so helpful

Knottie03777613 said:
TBH this issue was taking up a lot less of my time and brain space before I was posting here. I think I've gotten what I need so this will be my last time on this particular board. I'll let you guys know if I need any more reality checks in the next couple of months. For now I'm out.

JIC

AddieCake · April 2015

This reminds me of the bride who was distraught over her sister's new boob job a couple years ago.

climbingsingle · April 2015

I honestly have no idea what kind of makeup my MOH was wearing. She could have been wearing black lipstick for all I know.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

climbingwife said:
I honestly have no idea what kind of makeup my MOH was wearing. She could have been wearing black lipstick for all I know.

I know that my MOM (my sister) wore purple eye shadow. I only know this because she was concerned that it was too "out of the box" for her. I told her to go for it and to have fun because that is what makeup is supposed to be, something fun. She looked fabulous.

drunkenwitch · April 2015

I'll admit, I would say hell fucking no if a BM said "I'm going to wear clown makeup" because clowns are fucking scary.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2015

banana468 said:
I think you need to let this go.

And FWIW I feel like yellow is one of those colors that I just can't wear well because I just look washed out and tired and unattractive in it. I think I own ONE item in that color because of it. So if you put me in a yellow dress, I'd absolutely do what I could to make myself look BETTER with make up. And I'd do it because if I look alive and fresh, THAT will make your pictures look better than me looking sad and washed out.

This.

I am Italian but I'm light. I have yellow undertones in my skin that would look like shit in a yellow dress.

bizzy592 · April 2015

Late to this thread, and so confused. Maybe it's the part of the country that I live in, but all of my girlfriends wear red lipstick. Orange-reds in the daytime, blue-reds at night. It's bright, youthful, and fun. Not distracting in any way. OP, I don't know where you're from, but if you need convincing, read a jcrew catalog, and stop making up drama where none exists.

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