I am interested to hear your thoughts on the anniversaries of bad things that happened in your life or a friend/family's life and what to do to move past them.
2 years ago, April 9th, I broke my back in an accident. For all you doctors, nurses, X-ray techs, medical professionals, it was a "burst" fracture, with broken vertebral bodies sticking out into my spinal column. Basically, I crushed a vertebrate. I felt my spinal cord vibrate during the accident. It's a miracle I was not paralyzed. Long story short, I had a major spinal surgery, fused 3 vertebrate, and neurosurgeon repaired the crushed one best he could. 2 days after surgery, I walked across the hospital room in order to get discharged, 10 days and lots of meds later, I walked 6.5 miles in a day and am now basically back to 100%. Believe me, there was a lot of fear, tears, emotions, etc in the process, but it's over. *End AW part of post*
April 9th last year, I was a mixture of a mess and pride. I was told the full recovery would take one year and I felt free! It was over. Yesterday, April 9th, I didn't even really mention it to anyone (my family was heavily involved in my recovery) but it was weighing heavily on my mind and I felt anxious and upset. I try to put the details of the accident behind me and I try to push the thoughts about it away when they come but yesterday they all came flooding back and I was just in kind of a shitty mood.
Am I always going to feel shitty on April 9th b/c this happened? Is there a way to just forget about it and move on?
I have a friend who had a terrible trauma on a particular day and she is always a mess in the time leading up to it and after.
Do you guys have "bad" anniversaries and if so, how do you deal with the negative memories? I respect y'alls opinions and would be interested to hear how have moved on from incidents that might not be remembered fondly.
Happy weekend, btw! Sorry for the downer post!
Re: "Bad" Anniversaries
My dad, though, was deployed to war on opening day of deer hunting season many years ago. Every year as friends and family are getting ready to hunt, he has a pretty hard time with the memory. All I can do is call him and say "just wanted to call and say I love you!" :-/
Wow that's crazy! I'm sorry you went through that! (both LL and OP)
To the bolded- I agree! Nov 20 a few years ago was my dog attack. It was probably the most terrifiying thing that has happened to me and took a tough toll. A few months of medical attention, and I still get scared and jumpy when I see a dog. But I also try to have the positive approach that @lacqueredlover has and think that I'm lucky it was only my calf and my hand and that it could have been so much worse, like abdomen, throat, face. After it happened, people kept sending me news articles about dog attacks and it made me feel lucky that mine wasn't as bad as theirs.
On May 30, 2011, too had spinal surgery. My T3-12 is fused and I have 18 screws and two titanium rods in my spine. That surgery was one of the worst experiences in my life, but in all honesty it forced me to take a hard look at things in my life and make changes. So, I have since dubbed May 30th as my renewal day and celebrate the new outlook and positive things that have come from it.
In 2013, I was in three car accidents in eight months, I hospitalized and had a second spinal surgery, but not as serious as the first and now have an artificial c5/c6. I met my now fiancé a week before I was hospitalized and went out of work for the next six months. During that time, I was able to spend more time with him and get to know him on another level much more quickly because of the circumstances. While I do have some PTSD from the accidents and that is difficult to deal with, I truly feel blessed because it led to me being with the love of my life, and that means everything to me.
So all that to say, look for the good that came from it. The strength you gained from being a fighter and let it empower you. You are a brave and strong person. I know a lot of people who in your position would not have recovered the way you did, that in large part was your determination to do so and that in and of its self is amazing.
Keep your head held high, you rock!
@classicalandedgy, just curious... if you don't mind my asking, was your fusion due to scoliosis? I know that's usually the cause of the longer fusions like that. I'm was fused T2-L1 in 2002 for scoliosis. That surgery caused a deep infection & nearly killed me with spinal meningitis a year later. They had to remove all metal from my body to get rid of the infection, but luckily everything had fused properly by then. In total I had 4 surgeries that year dealing with the fusion, infections, and hardware removal.
But, spine surgeries, larger or small, are definitely traumatic and hard to recover from. They leave a lasting impact on you. But, without all I went through, I wouldn't have moved to where I live now, wouldn't have met my husband, and wouldn't be who I am today... all the best things in my life came as a result of plans that were changed because of that ordeal.
Yes, it was due to scoliosis. I had an 18 degree change in a two year time period in my mid thirties and at the rate it was changing they feared heart and lung complications as I already started having lung complications. My surgery was quite successful, but I will need more in the future because of degenerative disc disease and the wear that my lumbar is taking from the hardware.
I also have a herniated disc still in my neck as well, they were only able to replace one disc because they can't have two artificial disc on top of each other and I didn't want another fusion.
I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal and I can't even imagine what it must have been like. But I am happy to hear that you too could find the good in what happened to you. It is amazing how these events can really change our lives, I think we are fortunate to have these amazing outcomes.
Yeah, mine started getting worse in my early 20's, which led to the decision for fusion. My surgery itself was an ordeal, but I've been lucky since then. It's been 13 years and everything is stable, still no degeneration or problems in unfused areas, and minimal ongoing pain. So, I still would call it all a success. And after hearing stories of problems people have had with the hardware later on, I actually think I may have been lucky to have the hardware removed. It's one less thing for me to be concerned about damaging.
But say hi to Gainesville for me. Man, I miss north-central Florida....