huge bridal shower

MrsHtobe2015 · April 2015

Hey, im having a bridal shower In June. my wonderful bridesmaids are putting it on. There is a guest list of 92 people. im very fornunate to have such a big family but I just feel like it will be me opening presents for 2 hours straight? my family likes to watch the opening, so waiting until we get home wouldn't be an option. has anyone had a shower like this? what would you do to help it flow nicely?

mikenberger · April 2015

Your bridesmaids said they would host a group of 92 people?? Holy crap.

Unfortunately, no way to get around the gift opening. That's the point of a shower. But for a guest list of 92 people is a bit ridiculous to me.

chibiyui · April 2015

Wow. That is a lot of people.

Unfortunately, the whole point of a bridal shower is giving gifts, and not opening those gifts at the event would be extremely rude.

But yeah, if you want to invite 92 people, you have to open presents from 92 people.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

What would I do? Cut the guest list down by 1/2 to 2/3.

kvruns · April 2015

Can you split it into 2 or 3 such as family in 1, friends in another, anyone from Fi side in another?

I would hate to attend a shower that large and fairly certain I wouldn't be sticking around for 2-3 hours of gift opening. That's insane

notdoingitbythebook · April 2015

Take a break part way through. It will be the only way to keep you and those being kept hostage... I mean those watching the opening... sane. Give them a chance to get up, stretch their legs, get more alcohol or food, or whatever.

As much as I wish gift openings would disappear as a part of showers, it won't. But at least it's better than the stupid shower games, those are just another circle of hell in an already estrogen filled hell.

Maybe someone could make the gift opening more fun, like with the bingo game or having a timer that gives prizes to the hostages at certain intervals during the opening (could be something like a prize for whoever's gift is being opened when the timer goes off or something along those lines).

And for those who say it's for the nearest and dearest, that's not always how it works. Everyone on the wedding invite list is invited in many situations which can make for a big list. Nearest and dearest would be eliminating a lot of important people.

MizLiz3 · April 2015

I don't like sitting through gift openings of showers that have 15 people in attendance, so I would have a hard time feigning interest for 92. If you can't cut the guest list or split into multiple showers, definitely do something to make the gift opening more fun (since that's the point of showers, you have to open the gifts). I like @notdoingitbythebook's ideas of BINGO or the timer with prizes. And definitely take breaks to refill on food and drinks.

MyNameIsNot · April 2015

This is crazy. A shower should be the bride's nearest and dearest, not every female she shares DNA with. Why are there 92 people invited? That would strike me as extremely gift grabby.

To be honest, the best solution I see here is to cut the guest list. And yes, you do have to open all the gifts at the shower.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

notdoingitbythebook said:
Take a break part way through. It will be the only way to keep you and those being kept hostage... I mean those watching the opening... sane. Give them a chance to get up, stretch their legs, get more alcohol or food, or whatever.
As much as I wish gift openings would disappear as a part of showers, it won't. But at least it's better than the stupid shower games, those are just another circle of hell in an already estrogen filled hell.
Maybe someone could make the gift opening more fun, like with the bingo game or having a timer that gives prizes to the hostages at certain intervals during the opening (could be something like a prize for whoever's gift is being opened when the timer goes off or something along those lines).
And for those who say it's for the nearest and dearest, that's not always how it works. Everyone on the wedding invite list is invited in many situations which can make for a big list. Nearest and dearest would be eliminating a lot of important people.

Any shower that requires an intermission is just too long of a shower, period. There's no helping that.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

I went to one last year that big. It lasted about 3 hours and that was with no games. They had a nice buffet lunch. The groom came too. What the BM (she had 10 so it helped) is they had all the presents in one area & the bride & groom sat side by side in front of the presents. One BM had the responsibility to write everything down. One BM had the task of handing the bride & groom the present, another BM took care of the trash (Bride & groom where instructed, hand trash to this BM), after a quick opening & yelling "thank you aunt sue" it was handed off to another BM who put the presents in another area. It was very well organized, but still took them 2 hours I think to open all the presents. The open bar & food still out helped.

One thing that you can to do help your BM that is writing down the gifts received is, give her a spread sheet with the name of all of your Bridal Shower guests. Put the names in some sort of alphabetical order, maybe by first name, then the BM just has to find the name on the list and write the item next to it. On the spreadsheet, also put the addresses of the guests. Then you can take the list afterwards and have a details list of the guests that gave you presents, what they gave you & their addresses, which you will find very helpful when doing all those thank you cards. Best part is, you'll be able to read your BM writing on who gave you what because it will make it easier for her to keep up with the unwrapping.

notdoingitbythebook · April 2015

lolo883 said:

show previous quotes
notdoingitbythebook said:
Take a break part way through. It will be the only way to keep you and those being kept hostage... I mean those watching the opening... sane. Give them a chance to get up, stretch their legs, get more alcohol or food, or whatever.
As much as I wish gift openings would disappear as a part of showers, it won't. But at least it's better than the stupid shower games, those are just another circle of hell in an already estrogen filled hell.
Maybe someone could make the gift opening more fun, like with the bingo game or having a timer that gives prizes to the hostages at certain intervals during the opening (could be something like a prize for whoever's gift is being opened when the timer goes off or something along those lines).
And for those who say it's for the nearest and dearest, that's not always how it works. Everyone on the wedding invite list is invited in many situations which can make for a big list. Nearest and dearest would be eliminating a lot of important people.
Any shower that requires an intermission is just too long of a shower, period. There's no helping that.

Totally agree with that. However, it seems like an intermission may be the only way and the only thing I could think of to make the shower tolerable. Hours of estrogen hell... hope there's a lot of alcohol or chocolate. Or both.

Knottie98372945 · April 2015

What I have seen and what will probably be happening at my shower is, each bridesmaid makes some sort of basket to raffle off during the opening of the presents time. Each guests gets a raffle ticket and at different points during the opening, we stop for a raffle... the guests love it, it breaks it up and everyone likes it! Hope that helps you!

Also, have your bridesmaids open the card, out of the envelope and hand it to you, they can even start to unwrap the gift as well, to help you out!

Good luck!

Maggie0829 · April 2015

I'm sorry but that number of guests for a shower is beyond ridiculous. I went to a shower that had 50 people attend and then had to sit through an hour and half of the bride opening presents. I watched her open 6 sets of the same wine glasses. Thank god I was near the food and wine because holy boring.

And sorry but when you have to have an intermission or some raffle to break up the gift opening then you have too many people attending your shower.

Have invites gone out yet? If not you need to cut down that guest list by at least half.

And are the people hosting your shower okay hosting 92 people? I mean that is a lot of people which will require a pretty large space and even if it is held during a non-meal time still a good chunk of money is needed for apps and drinks and such.

larrygaga · April 2015

I went to a shower with 100 people and the bride just stood at the front of the room with a microphone and listed off what people got her. It was stupid and gift grabby and I really don't know why I went.

Cut the list WAYYYY down.

chemistrybride521 · April 2015

I recently went to a shower where the host asked for present to be unwrapped or placed in clear wrapping. The invitation had a cute note on the bottom saying "Please use clear/no wrapping as Bride would like to spend as much time with her guests as possible." It made it a lot easier for the bride to see what she got, thank the person/people who gave the gift, and keep the flow going.

chibiyui · April 2015

chemistrybride521 said:
I recently went to a shower where the host asked for present to be unwrapped or placed in clear wrapping. The invitation had a cute note on the bottom saying "Please use clear/no wrapping as Bride would like to spend as much time with her guests as possible." It made it a lot easier for the bride to see what she got, thank the person/people who gave the gift, and keep the flow going.

Oh hell no.

First off, wasteful or not, I put a lot of effort into wrapping a pretty package. Clear wrapping isn't fun, and turns it into a who spent the most money jerkoff.

secondly, the bride wants to spend more time with guests comes across as such bullshit on an invite.

XrebeccaX · April 2015

Oy. I went to a shower recently with half that many people in attendance and I left at the four hour mark. She was still opening gifts!

onefootinthebayou · April 2015

Knottie98372945 said:
What I have seen and what will probably be happening at my shower is, each bridesmaid makes some sort of basket to raffle off during the opening of the presents time. Each guests gets a raffle ticket and at different points during the opening, we stop for a raffle... the guests love it, it breaks it up and everyone likes it! Hope that helps you!

Also, have your bridesmaids open the card, out of the envelope and hand it to you, they can even start to unwrap the gift as well, to help you out!

Good luck!

I just had my shower this weekend and there were about 40 people there (quite large, IMO). We did something similar to your suggestion...every 5 minutes while I was opening gifts, a kitchen timer would go off. The person whose gift I was opening when the timer went off would get a prize (hand cream, note cards, soy candle, cheese spreader set, apron, trivet, spa socks, etc.) Honestly, people were so excited for the prizes, it seemed to make the opening process go faster and made it a tiny bit more entertaining for the guests. We had about 15 of these prizes for the hour it took me to open gifts. We tried to keep them under $15 each. I was still getting texts today about how much people liked their prizes. My 5 year old niece volunteered to hand them out, which was also super cute.

For a shower with 92 people on the guest list, I'd figure at least 10-20% won't make it based on basic event planning expectations and just try to open the gifts as quickly as possible while still being gracious. Good luck. I'm not a huge "shower person" and I had so much fun at mine. It was so great to see my family and friends all together in one place and have people I've known for 20 years each meet each other for the first time. Enjoy!

Maggie0829 · April 2015

chemistrybride521 said:
I recently went to a shower where the host asked for present to be unwrapped or placed in clear wrapping. The invitation had a cute note on the bottom saying "Please use clear/no wrapping as Bride would like to spend as much time with her guests as possible." It made it a lot easier for the bride to see what she got, thank the person/people who gave the gift, and keep the flow going.

This is disgusting.

Dreamergirl8812 · April 2015

chemistrybride521 said:
I recently went to a shower where the host asked for present to be unwrapped or placed in clear wrapping. The invitation had a cute note on the bottom saying "Please use clear/no wrapping as Bride would like to spend as much time with her guests as possible." It made it a lot easier for the bride to see what she got, thank the person/people who gave the gift, and keep the flow going.

If your bridal shower resembles an orphanage's donation box, you're doing it wrong.

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

notdoingitbythebook said:

show previous quotes
lolo883 said:

notdoingitbythebook said:
Take a break part way through. It will be the only way to keep you and those being kept hostage... I mean those watching the opening... sane. Give them a chance to get up, stretch their legs, get more alcohol or food, or whatever.
As much as I wish gift openings would disappear as a part of showers, it won't. But at least it's better than the stupid shower games, those are just another circle of hell in an already estrogen filled hell.
Maybe someone could make the gift opening more fun, like with the bingo game or having a timer that gives prizes to the hostages at certain intervals during the opening (could be something like a prize for whoever's gift is being opened when the timer goes off or something along those lines).
And for those who say it's for the nearest and dearest, that's not always how it works. Everyone on the wedding invite list is invited in many situations which can make for a big list. Nearest and dearest would be eliminating a lot of important people.
Any shower that requires an intermission is just too long of a shower, period. There's no helping that.
Totally agree with that. However, it seems like an intermission may be the only way and the only thing I could think of to make the shower tolerable. Hours of estrogen hell... hope there's a lot of alcohol or chocolate. Or both.

No, it's not the "only way." You cut the damn guest list down, or split it in half.

I have a lot of close female friends and H has a lot of family members his mom wanted to invite to a shower. There were between 80-90 people total. I HAD TWO SHOWERS. Sisters had offered to host one, so they invited my friends (35 ish). (F)MIL had offered to host as well, so she invited his family (50). Ended up with 25 people at one shower and 40 at the other. MUCH more manageable for everyone involved.

notdoingitbythebook · April 2015

lolo883 said:

show previous quotes
notdoingitbythebook said:

lolo883 said:

notdoingitbythebook said:
Take a break part way through. It will be the only way to keep you and those being kept hostage... I mean those watching the opening... sane. Give them a chance to get up, stretch their legs, get more alcohol or food, or whatever.
As much as I wish gift openings would disappear as a part of showers, it won't. But at least it's better than the stupid shower games, those are just another circle of hell in an already estrogen filled hell.
Maybe someone could make the gift opening more fun, like with the bingo game or having a timer that gives prizes to the hostages at certain intervals during the opening (could be something like a prize for whoever's gift is being opened when the timer goes off or something along those lines).
And for those who say it's for the nearest and dearest, that's not always how it works. Everyone on the wedding invite list is invited in many situations which can make for a big list. Nearest and dearest would be eliminating a lot of important people.
Any shower that requires an intermission is just too long of a shower, period. There's no helping that.
Totally agree with that. However, it seems like an intermission may be the only way and the only thing I could think of to make the shower tolerable. Hours of estrogen hell... hope there's a lot of alcohol or chocolate. Or both.
No, it's not the "only way." You cut the damn guest list down, or split it in half.

I have a lot of close female friends and H has a lot of family members his mom wanted to invite to a shower. There were between 80-90 people total. I HAD TWO SHOWERS. Sisters had offered to host one, so they invited my friends (35 ish). (F)MIL had offered to host as well, so she invited his family (50). Ended up with 25 people at one shower and 40 at the other. MUCH more manageable for everyone involved.

To some it's culturally expected, so yes to them it is the only way (like the Italian showers I've attended... some I went to make this guest total look small). Cutting the guest list would make sense, if it could be done but that's not always how it goes. Even if you cut the list in half, I still recommend prizes and an intermission during the gift opening to give people a break.

chemistrybride521 · April 2015

chemistrybride521 said:

I recently went to a shower where the host asked for present to be unwrapped or placed in clear wrapping. The invitation had a cute note on the bottom saying "Please use clear/no wrapping as Bride would like to spend as much time with her guests as possible." It made it a lot easier for the bride to see what she got, thank the person/people who gave the gift, and keep the flow going.
This is disgusting.

This was the first bridal shower that I had been to with a request like that so I didn't think anything of it. At least now I know that most people would give it a side eye! Adding it to my list of wedding "no-no's". Thanks ladies!

(Edited to add quote)

[Deleted User] · April 2015

Hey, if 92 people are seriously going to be invited, you should do an Evite. Because once I see that 92 people have been invited I'll be declining that invitation So Fast!

theartistformerlyknownas · April 2015

notdoingitbythebook said:

show previous quotes
lolo883 said:

notdoingitbythebook said:

lolo883 said:

notdoingitbythebook said:
Take a break part way through. It will be the only way to keep you and those being kept hostage... I mean those watching the opening... sane. Give them a chance to get up, stretch their legs, get more alcohol or food, or whatever.
As much as I wish gift openings would disappear as a part of showers, it won't. But at least it's better than the stupid shower games, those are just another circle of hell in an already estrogen filled hell.
Maybe someone could make the gift opening more fun, like with the bingo game or having a timer that gives prizes to the hostages at certain intervals during the opening (could be something like a prize for whoever's gift is being opened when the timer goes off or something along those lines).
And for those who say it's for the nearest and dearest, that's not always how it works. Everyone on the wedding invite list is invited in many situations which can make for a big list. Nearest and dearest would be eliminating a lot of important people.
Any shower that requires an intermission is just too long of a shower, period. There's no helping that.
Totally agree with that. However, it seems like an intermission may be the only way and the only thing I could think of to make the shower tolerable. Hours of estrogen hell... hope there's a lot of alcohol or chocolate. Or both.
No, it's not the "only way." You cut the damn guest list down, or split it in half.

I have a lot of close female friends and H has a lot of family members his mom wanted to invite to a shower. There were between 80-90 people total. I HAD TWO SHOWERS. Sisters had offered to host one, so they invited my friends (35 ish). (F)MIL had offered to host as well, so she invited his family (50). Ended up with 25 people at one shower and 40 at the other. MUCH more manageable for everyone involved.
To some it's culturally expected, so yes to them it is the only way (like the Italian showers I've attended... some I went to make this guest total look small). Cutting the guest list would make sense, if it could be done but that's not always how it goes. Even if you cut the list in half, I still recommend prizes and an intermission during the gift opening to give people a break.

No, even being an expectation does not make something the "only way." Lots of people expect long gaps and dollar dances, but that doesn't mean there isn't a better way of doing things.

southernbelle0915 · April 2015

Let's say 92 people accept and they all bring you a present.

Obviously the whole point of a shower is the "showering" of gifts, so it's incredibly rude not to open them in front of everyone. So you do. You open a card, announce who the gift is from, then you open the gift, you let everyone oo and ahh, people chat about their first blender or whatever, you make eye contact with the giver and verbally say "thank you", you make sure the gift is recorded so you can later write a TY note.... All that should take about 2-3 minutes so that you aren't rudely rushing through gifts like a toddler on Christmas morning.

For your guest list, you're looking at 3-5 hours of gift opening. That is absolutely NOT ok. An entire shower shouldn't last longer than 3 or so hours.

Even if only 75% of the guests come, you're still looking at 2-4 hours of gift opening. No. Just no.

CUT. THE. GUEST. LIST.

lovegood90 · April 2015

Your bridal shower should be your nearest and dearest, not every person you know. 92 is absolutely ridiculous and also looks really gift grabby. You need to cut the guest list by more than half.

klk111415 · April 2015

92 people?? I felt guilty for having a list of 40 people.

One thing I have requested is no gift wrapping. Bows are fine but all that paper is such a waste. I didn't even wrap the last gift I gave at a baby shower. Didn't see the point as the paper is just going to go in the trash after.

plainjane0415 · April 2015

klk111415 said:
92 people?? I felt guilty for having a list of 40 people.

One thing I have requested is no gift wrapping. Bows are fine but all that paper is such a waste. I didn't even wrap the last gift I gave at a baby shower. Didn't see the point as the paper is just going to go in the trash after.

How did you request this? And why does it matter what the gift is wrapped or not wrapped in?

kellyem2 · April 2015

I have a huge family too. Out of the 100+ invited my shower wound up being around 80 people. And yes, aside from a few friends of my FMIL I was on a pretty close first name basis with all these people.

Hungarian/Polish families. We're cool like that.

My family is into the whole "every bow you break is a kid you're going to have" thing so I wound up opening all of the gifts by hand. I don't feel like I rushed it and it definitely took way less than an hour to get through everything. Since I had gone around to the tables a few times during lunch so I had a good idea of where everyone was sitting which made the thank yous easier.

I don't know what games and things your ladies might have planned, but we did a lot of that during the present opening to break things up. We did drawings for prizes every so many presents. We also had people write down their top pieces of marriage advice and read a few here and there.

I've been to showers where there was more or less an assembly line
where the bridesmaids opened gifts and recorded what was from who, then
the bride made the announcement about what each gift was and thanked the
guests. If you're really anxious about opening presents in front of
everyone this is a great way to cut down on the time.

But honestly, you'll be fine. Even if people gave you a couple gifts each there's no way it's going to take the amount of time you're dreading.

kellyem2 · April 2015

Oh, and I don't know what kind of food your BMs are planning, but serving dessert during the gift opening is pretty standard procedure when you have a bigger shower. Nobody's grumpy when they have cake on hand!

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