"No Spouse Rule"...I can't even

Re: "No Spouse Rule"...I can't even

• huskypuppy14 member

  

  April 2015

  Are we sure they spent 10K on the wedding? It says they saved 10K in 6 months. I guess you if you do the math, 3000 on rings, and 1200 on a photographer plus florist and dress? 

  
  

  
  

  They're probably looking at less than 100 dollars per person, maybe half that depending what else they included in their budget. When you spend less on your venue/food than your rings I think that's a problem (when you're not accommodating your guests properly).

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• MGP member

  

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  huskypuppy14 said:

  Are we sure they spent 10K on the wedding? It says they saved 10K in 6 months. I guess you if you do the math, 3000 on rings, and 1200 on a photographer plus florist and dress? 

  
  

  
  

  They're probably looking at less than 100 dollars per person, maybe half that depending what else they included in their budget. When you spend less on your venue/food than your rings I think that's a problem (when you're not accommodating your guests properly).

  No, probably less than that.  It said it was a weekday morning wedding which gives me a sneaking suspicion there was little to no food there.  Did you notice there were no pictures of food?

  
  

  A couple other things that stood out to me:

  
  

  $1200 for a photographer for 2 hours.  $600 AN HOUR??  WHAT ABOUT THAT IS BUDGET??

  
  

  $3000 for rings when you already have the stones?

  
  

  The consolation dinner where the friends were told they couldn't bring their spouses?  I would have said "fuck you and your fucking fondue dinner, I am not coming to your destination weekday morning wedding anyways".  And now I am in the mood for fondue. . . 

  
  

  The venue looked pretty, but overall it looks like these people got robbed for $10K.  There are countless ways to spend that type of money better(aka don't spend 40% of your budget on 2 hours for a photographer and RINGS) and most importantly properly host and treat your guests with respect.

  
  

  And the bride balked at DIY because she didn't want to "compromise" her vision? Seriously, all of this rude, selfish behavior coming from a 40 year old woman?  Fucking unbelievable.

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• cupcait927 member

  

  April 2015

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

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• levioosa member

  

  April 2015

  She was way too hung up on the fact that she was forty.  She did a great job acting like an entitled teenager though. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  April 2015

  MGP said:

  Are we sure they spent 10K on the wedding? It says they saved 10K in 6 months. I guess you if you do the math, 3000 on rings, and 1200 on a photographer plus florist and dress? 

  
  

  
  

  They're probably looking at less than 100 dollars per person, maybe half that depending what else they included in their budget. When you spend less on your venue/food than your rings I think that's a problem (when you're not accommodating your guests properly).

  No, probably less than that.  It said it was a weekday morning wedding which gives me a sneaking suspicion there was little to no food there.  Did you notice there were no pictures of food?

  
  

  A couple other things that stood out to me:

  
  

  $1200 for a photographer for 2 hours.  $600 AN HOUR??  WHAT ABOUT THAT IS BUDGET??

  
  

  $3000 for rings when you already have the stones?

  
  

  The consolation dinner where the friends were told they couldn't bring their spouses?  I would have said "fuck you and your fucking fondue dinner, I am not coming to your destination weekday morning wedding anyways".  And now I am in the mood for fondue. . . 

  
  

  The venue looked pretty, but overall it looks like these people got robbed for $10K.  There are countless ways to spend that type of money better(aka don't spend 40% of your budget on 2 hours for a photographer and RINGS) and most importantly properly host and treat your guests with respect.

  
  

  And the bride balked at DIY because she didn't want to "compromise" her vision? Seriously, all of this rude, selfish behavior coming from a 40 year old woman?  Fucking unbelievable.

  
  
  So true.  My photographer was $1600 for 6 hours.

  
  

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• littlepep member

  

  April 2015

  cupcait927 said:

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

  Pssh. You can only feed your guests once. Pictures last forever. That money should have been spent on the vision that you can look at time and again.  

  

  
  

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• sophhabobopha member

  

  April 2015

  littlepep said:

  cupcait927 said:

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

  Pssh. You can only feed your guests once. Pictures last forever. That money should have been spent on the vision that you can look at time and again.  

  You need at least 12 shoe pics.

  

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• flbride2015 member

  

  April 2015

  I couldn't read that "article", it was aweful. So were comments.

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• cupcait927 member

  

  April 2015

  sophhabobopha said:

  littlepep said:

  cupcait927 said:

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

  Pssh. You can only feed your guests once. Pictures last forever. That money should have been spent on the vision that you can look at time and again.  

  You need at least 12 shoe pics.

  Damn. H and I only spent $750 on our semi-pro photographer and had him for 8 hours. No shoe pics. Does this mean I get a do-over?
  

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• Sioux1986 member

  

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  What in the actual....

  
  

  I used to be such a huge fan of OBB but this kind of crap, actually holding this up as "great budget ideas" is just too much. 

  
  

  Oh wow! You had a "budget" like the rest of us! Good for you!

  
  

  We spent just shy of $40k for 50 guests (evening wedding in Disney World) and we saved it all up ourselves and put nothing on credit, all was cash....where's my cookie?

  
  

  And while I wouldn't call our wedding "budget" in the sense that we hit some special amount, we did have to make some hard decisions regarding areas of the cost to make sure our entire guest list was hosted WELL, including being able to bring their SO. In fact, my brother getting a GF about 2 months away from the wedding, my good friend starting a relationship we had to make cuts to afford to host them. Want to know where we cut? OUR RINGS. Of our budget, we only spent $100 on his ring (a recycled vintage coin made into a ring) and $160 on mine (a rose gold band from Etsy). That's only 0.7% of our budget, compared to these SS's 30% of their budget.

  
  

  If I knew all I had to do to afford the $3,500 Tiffany band I really wanted, all I had to do was cut out my guests' spouses? Damn, I need a time machine.

  
  

  ETA: Actually, we also cut from Mickey and Minnie coming to the reception to just Mickey. So I guess in a sense we DID cut out a spouse. LOL!

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• MGP member

  

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  sophhabobopha said:

  littlepep said:

  cupcait927 said:

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

  Pssh. You can only feed your guests once. Pictures last forever. That money should have been spent on the vision that you can look at time and again.  

  You need at least 12 shoe pics.

  Those 12 shoe pics would cost her $29.  I am not kidding:

  
  

  $1200 for 500 shots = $2.40 per picture.  PER.  PICTURE.

  Additionally 500 shots over 2 hours is 1 shot every 15 seconds.  Seems excessive to me.

  That photographer must have been laughing all the way to the bank.  Literally.

  
  

  So for this 40 year old grown woman to get 12 pictures of her shoes (because you KNOW she did) it cost her $29 instead of taking that money and hosting the spouse of a good friend.  From the looks of those pictures I have serious doubts they spent $29/pp on catering, so I am just speaking based on principle.

  
  

  As a person in their late 30's - I am ashamed of my generation.

  
  

  ETA - I looked again and she does have shoe pictures.  And they were ugly shoes.  

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• Sioux1986 member

  

  April 2015

  MGP said:

  sophhabobopha said:

  littlepep said:

  cupcait927 said:

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

  Pssh. You can only feed your guests once. Pictures last forever. That money should have been spent on the vision that you can look at time and again.  

  You need at least 12 shoe pics.

  Those 12 shoe pics would cost her $29.  I am not kidding:

  
  

  $1200 for 500 shots = $2.40 per picture.  PER.  PICTURE.

  Additionally 500 shots over 2 hours is 1 shot every 15 seconds.  Seems excessive to me.

  That photographer must have been laughing all the way to the bank.  Literally.

  
  

  So for this 40 year old grown woman to get 12 pictures of her shoes (because you KNOW she did) it cost her $29 instead of taking that money and hosting the spouse of a good friend.  From the looks of those pictures I have serious doubts they spent $29/pp on catering, so I am just speaking based on principle.

  
  

  As a person in their late 30's - I am ashamed of my generation.

  Love all this math

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• MGP member

  

  April 2015

  Sioux1986 said:

  MGP said:

  sophhabobopha said:

  littlepep said:

  cupcait927 said:

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

  Pssh. You can only feed your guests once. Pictures last forever. That money should have been spent on the vision that you can look at time and again.  

  You need at least 12 shoe pics.

  Those 12 shoe pics would cost her $29.  I am not kidding:

  
  

  $1200 for 500 shots = $2.40 per picture.  PER.  PICTURE.

  Additionally 500 shots over 2 hours is 1 shot every 15 seconds.  Seems excessive to me.

  That photographer must have been laughing all the way to the bank.  Literally.

  
  

  So for this 40 year old grown woman to get 12 pictures of her shoes (because you KNOW she did) it cost her $29 instead of taking that money and hosting the spouse of a good friend.  From the looks of those pictures I have serious doubts they spent $29/pp on catering, so I am just speaking based on principle.

  
  

  As a person in their late 30's - I am ashamed of my generation.

  Love all this math

  I freaking love math and stats with things like this.

  
  

  Looks like we were commenting at the same time and I like how you put into perspective the percentages to everything because it makes a world of difference on what you spend but more importantly who you spend it on.  My dress was $250 and absolutely perfect and after all was said and done spent close to $50K with HALF of that going to catering.  You know, the stuff that the guests actually get to enjoy.

  
  

  The breakdown of that train wreck of a wedding wasn't very clear but I am having a tough time wrapping my brain around what was actually spent on the guests.  Because it wasn't the photog and rings (40%), dress, floral, officiant, or venue.  She also states there were no favors, DJ, or invites/postage.  All the pictures show is a cake and they at least had chairs for the ceremony.  So where did all this money go?  I have a hunch she bought a somewhat pricey dress and let's not forget her headpiece from Claire's.  Fucking Claire's!!  

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  When we broke it out, over 60% of our budget was spent on food/beverage/venue (it came with tables/chairs/set-up/and cleanup) - not including gratuities. Our wedding bands came out to roughly 1% of our budget and our wedding attire was 1.4%. Our two photographers (13+ hours of coverage) were roughly 10% of our budget - and there were only a handful of shoe pictures because they insisted on taking them.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  
  

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• littlepep member

  

  April 2015

  Cookie Pusher said:

  When we broke it out, over 60% of our budget was spent on food/beverage/venue (it came with tables/chairs/set-up/and cleanup) - not including gratuities. Our wedding bands came out to roughly 1% of our budget and our wedding attire was 1.4%. Our two photographers (13+ hours of coverage) were roughly 10% of our budget - and there were only a handful of shoe pictures because they insisted on taking them.

  See and I'm spending a decent amount on photography because it's important to me (not shoe pictures, but other ones). BUT I'm not sacrificing proper hosting to afford the photographer. We cut in other areas. I'd say we're probably spending about the same percentage on venue/food/beverage as you are. 

  

  
  

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• ladywell member

  

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  A "No Spouse Rule" is absolutely insane. Terrible, terrible wedding etiquette, let alone manners. HOWEVER, for a wedding limited to 40 guests-- it's rude, but not outlandish. I have been on the receiving end of an invite going only to my husband (though at that time he was only my fiance) and while snubbed, it was understandable as I was not the one that was close to the couple. I don't think it was this brides intention to snub the spouses, even if in action she did. Though it was her day, and her invitee's had every right to simply decline the invitation.
  

  

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  April 2015

  littlepep said:

  Cookie Pusher said:

  When we broke it out, over 60% of our budget was spent on food/beverage/venue (it came with tables/chairs/set-up/and cleanup) - not including gratuities. Our wedding bands came out to roughly 1% of our budget and our wedding attire was 1.4%. Our two photographers (13+ hours of coverage) were roughly 10% of our budget - and there were only a handful of shoe pictures because they insisted on taking them.

  See and I'm spending a decent amount on photography because it's important to me (not shoe pictures, but other ones). BUT I'm not sacrificing proper hosting to afford the photographer. We cut in other areas. I'd say we're probably spending about the same percentage on venue/food/beverage as you are. 

  We looked at more expensive photographers but ended up with ours because her package had everything we wanted without any added (pricy) frills that we didn't. It was important for us to have great photos but we also wanted to cover our parents' hotel rooms, WP attire (BM dresses and GM ties), and cover the late night food before the bar crawl without sacrificing any of the hosting. We cut flowers and I did a lot of DIY so there were enough chairs for all the butts, food for all the bellies, and premium alcohol (and non-alcoholic drinks) to keep everyone happy all night.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  April 2015

  lesliecrystal said:

  A "No Spouse Rule" is absolutely insane. Terrible, terrible wedding etiquette, let alone manners. HOWEVER, for a wedding limited to 40 guests-- it's rude, but not outlandish. I have been on the receiving end of an invite going only to my husband (though at that time he was only my fiance) and while snubbed, it was understandable as I was not the one that was close to the couple. I don't think it was this brides intention to snub the spouses, even if in action she did. Though it was her day, and her invitee's had every right to simply decline the invitation.
  

  Still rude and it doesn't matter what the intent was. The effect is that she fucked up big time.
  

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• sophhabobopha member

  

  April 2015

  sophhabobopha said:

  littlepep said:

  cupcait927 said:

  I can't even with that wedding. H and I spent $10,000 on 50 people but guess where the majority of the money went - food and alcohol! Where it should've gone. And we got married at a gorgeous winery so it's not as if we sacrificed having a beautiful spot for the ceremony and reception in order to accommodate our guest list. Priorities, people. That woman does not have them. I would be PISSED if one of H's good friends was getting married and I was told I couldn't go and vice versa if it was one of my friend's and H wasn't invited.

  Pssh. You can only feed your guests once. Pictures last forever. That money should have been spent on the vision that you can look at time and again.  

  You need at least 12 shoe pics.

  Damn. H and I only spent $750 on our semi-pro photographer and had him for 8 hours. No shoe pics. Does this mean I get a do-over?
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  And that math made my head hurt, haha. Not a STEM lady.

  

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• LondonLisa member

  

  April 2015

  I'd go celebrate her wedding without my spouse when she does the same by leaving the groom at home.

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