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So DS is going to be evaluated for EI

HeffalumpHeffalump member
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edited April 2015 in Wedding Woes
Had the conference first thing this morning, and it turns out the hair pulling wasn't even the main thing.  They're more concerned that he's really not talking at school and only interacting with the teachers, not the other kids.  (I'm slightly miffed that they didn't mention this when setting up the meeting and instead were focusing on the hair, but that may just be displacement on my end.) 

DH and I were really surprised, because the kid they described is so different from the kid we see at home.  They said that he only says two words at school, and I can't even list all the ones he says at home.  And he loves doing stuff with us at home, so we didn't really know that he doesn't participate with the other kids.  They suggested that the hair pulling was possibly a combo of frustration at not being able to say what he wants to, and maybe a tactile/sensory thing, and they also think that's why he's kind of withdrawn at school.

They have a speech therapist and an OT who come to school on a set schedule, so they're going to have both of them evaluate him in the next week or so, and then we'll see what their recommendation is.

Y'all, I know this is not a big deal.  It's a Thing, but it's not like he has one of those life-threatening childhood diseases you read about.  I get that in the grand scheme of childrearing, this is really nothing to panic about.  They'll evaluate him, they'll determine if he needs speech therapy and/or OT, and if he does, then we'll get started.  He's 18 months, so I imagine if he ends up doing therapy, we should see progress pretty quick.

I know all this, but I still kind of want to go home and have a good cry, even though I don't think this really entitles me to one.  Also, I picked the worst possible time to start doing Weight Watchers online again, because I totally want to stress eat right now.  I have a banana, which is a nutritious and whatever (and zero points), but what I really want is chocolate.   

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Re: So DS is going to be evaluated for EI

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    0Face0Face member
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    *interwebzstrangerdangerhugs*  It sounds like you're just a bit overwhelmed with possibilities, and I think that's totally normal and to be expected.  The best thing is that you're getting some guidance now and getting prepared to usher your kiddo through this---with assistance.  *cocoa dust to you*
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    ((hugs))  Even thought it's not life-threatening (or even life-altering) it's still *your* baby.   

    Also, I think the way the school handled this was entirely dickish.  

    ((more hugs)) 
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    ((hugs))  Even thought it's not life-threatening (or even life-altering) it's still *your* baby.   


    Also, I think the way the school handled this was entirely dickish.  

    ((more hugs)) 
    I'm trying to decide if I'm more annoyed about this than I should be, and I think I need a little more distance before I can decide and then determine how I want to address it.  I mean, it was "development," then "development and behavior," then "biting and hair pulling," then "not really biting, just hair pulling," and finally "hair pulling as a symptom of possible speech and sensory issues."  All over the span of, what, two days? 

    I kind of feel like the dog who's told they're going for a car ride, only to end up at the vet.  Y'all, you don't have to lure me in to talk about my kid, just tell me upfront.  But yeah, maybe I'll see it more clearly after a little time has passed.

    And thanks for the interhugz, y'all.  :)
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    edited April 2015
    FWIW, I'm annoyed for you.   A) this should have been an ongoing conversation with you (and they should have been asking how he is at home and brought up concerns about how he is at school) and B ) it IS like your analogy.  All I can think is that they have had epic freakouts from other parents when they've had to have these conversations, but once bitten, twice shy is a bullshit way to handle this stuff.  
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    Heffa, I would think what you are feeling is completely normal. I will say that there are sooooo many kids that have to have some form of speech therapy when they are young. Kids tell me all the time that it helped them and we still have kids at my middle school that receive speech services and most times I would never know.

    He is still so young and kids his age, at times have minor things that can be corrected easily if it's detected at a young age. Hang in there, Mama.
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    0Face0Face member
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    You're allowed to feel how you feel, no one can tell you are or aren't justified.  Pushing feelings through or aside won't help them dissipate.  Only time and more conversation with the DC people will--which isn't immediate.

    I was going to say it seemed like a "bait and switch" situation---lure you in with this....WHAM! and now you're on a different path altogether really, which is a bit disorienting.


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    This is all very sudden and I'm sure overwhelming.  Just take one step at a time.  See how the evaluations come out and then take the next step, if there is one.  Breathe, and have a cry if you need to.
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    GBCKGBCK member
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    that was kinda crochy of them.
    Not necessarily ill intentioned, but it ensures you get caught flat footed.

    It's a 'small' thing, but solvable things get good cry needs too sometimes
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    6fsn6fsn member
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    The school handled this terribly.

    As a speech mom I know how you are feeling.  Trust me when I say that even if you need services you will be glad in the long run.

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    i'm sorry you're upset. 

    also, rub a little tea tree oil around ds's jaw to help with vocal development. and lavendar and eucalyptus mixed together along the hair line.

    and vaccinate.
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    H, don't forget to also eat gluten free. That cures EVERYTHING.
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    hmonkey said:

    i'm sorry you're upset. 


    also, rub a little tea tree oil around ds's jaw to help with vocal development. and lavendar and eucalyptus mixed together along the hair line.

    and vaccinate.
    See, I think that's the problem.  I got him his MMR on schedule at his 12 mo. appt., and now six months later, bam, this.  I think the connection is pretty obvious.
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    Heffalump said:

    hmonkey said:

    i'm sorry you're upset. 


    also, rub a little tea tree oil around ds's jaw to help with vocal development. and lavendar and eucalyptus mixed together along the hair line.

    and vaccinate.
    See, I think that's the problem.  I got him his MMR on schedule at his 12 mo. appt., and now six months later, bam, this.  I think the connection is pretty obvious.
    And you're not using EO's, right?  

    He's going to get ebola now! Better hurry up and become a #lemondropper. 
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    I've heard really encouraging things about casein-free, no gluten, no salt, vegan diets in children. I would really urge you to consider putting him and your entire family on that- it would probably be a matter of days before you see a turnaround. Peace and healing to your family Heffa. The food industry is really just trying to poison us, and don't even get me started on Big Pharma.

    Just kidding. You probably don't feed him enough McDonald's. Just chicken nugget that boy up and he'll talk all day every day.
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    if he does have poor muscle development, he needs to find a good crossfit gym and trainer.
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    @heffalump - are you scheduling these evaluations through the DOH or an EI agency? They absolutely should NOT have the therapists who go there regularly just willy-nilly evaluate. All of this needs to be documented correctly through the DOH/EI and done through the proper channels.


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    PMeg819 said:

    Just kidding. You probably don't feed him enough McDonald's. Just chicken nugget that boy up and he'll talk all day every day.

    It's not McDonald's, but that kid got his first taste of jellybeans at Easter, and he is hooked.  He actually nabbed one of DD's, and the look on his face was like a revelation.  Now if he sees them in the pantry, he points at them and says "More! More!"  This morning, I told him no, we don't eat jellybeans for breakfast, and he was pissed.  He said "More, more!" louder, and added the "more" sign very emphatically, he was practically banging his hands together.  Dude, the problem isn't that I don't understand, the problem is NO.

    (Also, Arrested Development fans, when DD was little we taught her to call them "candy beans" for our own, selfish amusement, but she has since reverted to "jellybeans.")
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    @heffalump - are you scheduling these evaluations through the DOH or an EI agency? They absolutely should NOT have the therapists who go there regularly just willy-nilly evaluate. All of this needs to be documented correctly through the DOH/EI and done through the proper channels.


    The way it was explained to me, is that this therapy group does screenings on request.  Then, if they determine that he needs short- or long-term therapy in either (or both) area(s), we're supposed to sit down and go over the results and make a plan.  They also visit our DC to provide speech therapy and OT for students who need it. 

    Is this not a good way to go about it?  Do you think I should go directly through our state's EI?  At the time, I was just sort of like "What?  Evaluation?  Speech and/or sensory?  Okay, then let's get him evaluated."  If this is not the best way to proceed, let me know what would be better.  I am obviously new to this whole process, and I trust your experience.
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    There are channels to go through because of who will pay for the services. I would ask the DC for the therapy group's office number and speak to someone there. Or call your pediatrician's office and get the contact information for an EI agency.

    When we got PF set up with EI, our pediatrician gave us the agency number (one she knew and liked) and we got set up with evaluations through them. Those evaluation results were gone over with us, our doc, and the DOH. The DOH is who paid for all of PF's EI services (generally how it works even in other states, but this is something you need to know and going through the proper channels is the way to get this information).

    Perhaps I'm being overly skeptical, but I don't want you getting screwed if DS needs any extra help and things didn't go through the right ways.
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    Thanks, Dix, I will give them a call and sort it all out.  (They're on my to-do list anyway, I just hadn't really grappled with the whole DOH/agency thing yet.  Still getting my bearings.)
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    Sorry that your school handled this so poorly. 
    If there really is a concern, then it's only going to help him going through the evaluation and working with experts to determine the best plan to help him. I think Dixie's feedback is great (not just because of her experience) because it also keeps your pediatrician in the loop.

    I'm a little puzzled about the seeming 180 in attitude and behavior between home and school - it would make me question why he's choosing not to talk in school. 

    as long as those jellybeans are organic/non-GMO/gluten free, and coming from free-range vegetarian easter bunnies, then I'd say they're probably safe.
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    PM me on FB if you want my number. You're welcome to volley questions and stuff off of me.
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    I'm kindof surprised they're this concerned when he's only 18 months old. I'm literally looking at Allie's list of first words that I made when she was 18 months, and there are 12 words on it total. She's 3 now and her vocabulary is ridiculous. She also didn't transition from parallel play to really interactive play until she over two. 

    Generally I'm of a mind that it never hurts to do an eval, and OT can only help, so you might as well go ahead with it. But I also think he's just fine and the school's being a little alarmist. 

    Have you tried shakeology?
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    You bought a dog from a puppy mill, didn't you?
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    *Barbie* said:


    I'm a little puzzled about the seeming 180 in attitude and behavior between home and school - it would make me question why he's choosing not to talk in school. 

    DH and I discussed this with them during the conference, and then among ourselves in the car afterward.  His teachers think it's easier for him to make himself understood at home, where it's quiet(er), not a bunch of kids milling around.  At worst, there's one adult per two kids, so he gets more focused, one-on-one attention at home.  Their theory is that it's harder for him to communicate through all the noise (literal and figurative) at school, and after awhile, he just gets frustrated and gives up.  DH and I think it's plausible, but we're not 100% convinced until we see what the pedi and both therapists say.

    (Oh, and the jellybeans should be cool--they're chock-full of corn syrup, but free of red dye, and it's my understanding that those cancel each other out.)
    TheDuckis said:

    I'm kindof surprised they're this concerned when he's only 18 months old. I'm literally looking at Allie's list of first words that I made when she was 18 months, and there are 12 words on it total. She's 3 now and her vocabulary is ridiculous. She also didn't transition from parallel play to really interactive play until she over two. 


    Generally I'm of a mind that it never hurts to do an eval, and OT can only help, so you might as well go ahead with it. But I also think he's just fine and the school's being a little alarmist. 

    Have you tried shakeology?
    Yeah, we're of the same mind on the "couldn't hurt" thing.  Do the eval, see what it says.  I feel like I was scrutinizing DS nonstop last night, I couldn't help myself, and I am starting to wonder if his consonant sounds are where they should be.  I understand what he's trying to say, so I can tell he has a good number of words, but maybe his enunciation isn't as clear as you'd expect at his age.  I'm sort of flying blind here, because DD was so the opposite, it's like I don't have firsthand experience with normal.

    Oh, and @Dixie, I talked to someone from ITP (Infant and Toddler Program, NC's EI), and she said that the agency that DC works with is an "enrolled provider." So if his evals indicate that he needs any therapy and if we choose to go through that agency, they'll enroll him under "Documented Developmental Delay."  Thanks again for all of your help!
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    Heffalump said:


    Oh, and @Dixie, I talked to someone from ITP (Infant and Toddler Program, NC's EI), and she said that the agency that DC works with is an "enrolled provider." So if his evals indicate that he needs any therapy and if we choose to go through that agency, they'll enroll him under "Documented Developmental Delay."  Thanks again for all of your help!

    I'm glad you checked with them. It's always better to check the boxes and make sure you're doing everything right rather than have someone come back and say, "Too bad, so sad, you messed this one up and have to start over again."
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
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    edited April 2015

    Yeah, we're of the same mind on the "couldn't hurt" thing.  Do the eval, see what it says.  I feel like I was scrutinizing DS nonstop last night, I couldn't help myself, and I am starting to wonder if his consonant sounds are where they should be.  I understand what he's trying to say, so I can tell he has a good number of words, but maybe his enunciation isn't as clear as you'd expect at his age.  I'm sort of flying blind here, because DD was so the opposite, it's like I don't have firsthand experience with normal.


    STOP. He's 18 months old for Christ's sake! I mean, consonant sounds? Really?
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    Andplusalso, my step-father didn't speak AT ALL until he was 4. He went on to become an engineer and is one of the smartest AND most outgoing men I know.
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    AuntFlo said:


    Yeah, we're of the same mind on the "couldn't hurt" thing.  Do the eval, see what it says.  I feel like I was scrutinizing DS nonstop last night, I couldn't help myself, and I am starting to wonder if his consonant sounds are where they should be.  I understand what he's trying to say, so I can tell he has a good number of words, but maybe his enunciation isn't as clear as you'd expect at his age.  I'm sort of flying blind here, because DD was so the opposite, it's like I don't have firsthand experience with normal.

    STOP. He's 18 months old for Christ's sake! I mean, consonant sounds? Really?



    BOXES

    I don't understand your point?  Kids make consonant sounds.  I listened to DS last night, and started to wonder if he's having trouble with some consonants.  So where is this "STOP. Really?" coming from?
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